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Aunt Tells 9-Year-Old She Deserves To Be Scratched For The Way She Treated Her Pet
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Aunt Tells 9-Year-Old She Deserves To Be Scratched For The Way She Treated Her Pet

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Pets are not toys, and owners know it. However, someone who’s never had one before might need a reminder that the critters are living things with limits to their patience as well.

Redditor u/shenanigansarefun told the AITA community about the time her cat’s patience ran out. Her nine-year-old niece repeatedly bothered the critter and handled it inappropriately, until it scratched her. The incident left the girl crying and the OP being called a jerk, even though she told the child to be gentle with the cat. Scroll down to find the full story.

Bored Panda has reached out to the OP and she was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. In order to better understand cat behavior and how stress affects them, we also turned to cat behavior consultant, writer, and educator Alice Chau-Ginguene. You will find their thoughts in the text below.

Cats are living creatures that might use their claws if you handle them inappropriately

Image credits: bondarillia (not the actual photo)

This woman told her niece to be gentle with her cat but the child did not listen

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Image credits: Media_photos (not the actual photo)

Image credits: shenanigansarefun

Knowing how to read a cat’s body language can help the owner understand what the critter is feeling

Image credits: Susanna Marsiglia (not the actual photo)

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“A lot of people don’t treat animals as family. We do,” the OP told Bored Panda. “I’ve been a lifelong cat owner and even had a cat live till the age of 22.” She emphasized that when it comes to felines, it’s important to respect the animal and recognize that body language and vocalizations have meaning.

Pets WebMD pointed out that cats are very expressive with their body language, when you know how to read it. For example, when they’re happy and relaxed, their ears stay in a natural posture and the tail is laid flat. If the critters are lying showing their belly, that means they feel safe. When felines are scared or worried, they might flick their ears and arch their back. They also tend to raise their tail (or curl it around their body) and might have bristled fur and dilated pupils.

The redditor said that there have been no further problems with the girl and the cat. “My niece has learned that animals are like humans and feel emotions such as anger and pain,” she pointed out.

“She no longer picks the cat up when she feels like and lets him come to her. He picks who he snuggles with in the house and we no longer have any unfortunate cat scratches. My biggest worry was her safety and also that the cat would sustain an injury squirming out of her arms. I know cats are quite agile and quick on their feet, but I always worry that an animal will be harmed even accidentally if he landed wrong squirming.”

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Cat behaviorist Alice Chau-Ginguene told Bored Panda that picking up the pet against its will and handling it roughly usually evokes a flight or fight response. “Due to the caused anxiety, the cat will either run away to hide or will fight back. That could be a dangerous situation for both the cat and the child as the feline might scratch or even bite in order to get themselves out of that situation.

“Moreover, it can lead to chronic anxiety, which in the long run causes not only mental but physical issues as well, such as anxiety-induced infection. Similar situations can also break the cat-human bond,” she added.

The expert also emphasized that it’s important for a territorial animal like a cat to have their space. “Every cat should have what we call a ‘core area’ in a home—this is where they know they can eat, sleep and play without disturbance from others. If you live in a smaller space, even creating a corner, which your cat knows is theirs, can be very helpful.”

A pet is a lifelong commitment, which is why the OP was disgusted some people would simply get rid of theirs

Image credits: Quỳnh Anh Nguyễn (not the actual photo)

The OP told Bored Panda that the cat in the story is alive and well. She also shared how another critter became part of their family after being abandoned. “I once found a shivering wet cat at my former job hiding by the dumpster. He tried going into the building. He was very sweet, loving, and friendly. I called my mom and I had her scoop him up and I took him to the vet after work. He had no chip. I also reached out to online forums and no one claimed him. He was matted, not neutered, had sores in his mouth and an upper respiratory infection. The vet put him on antibiotics.”

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“I decided to keep him. We had him quarantined safe and warm in the bathroom away from other animals for the recommended period and tested for diseases. I also got his vaccinations. Turns out, he had feline aids,” she added.

“I kept him for the rest of his life and he was a wonderful addition to our family. The vet said he was probably a house cat that got abandoned due to his having feline aids. He was soaked, starving because of his mouth ulcers. If he wasn’t rescued, the vet said he would probably have died within days. I brushed out his mats and with proper antibiotics and food, he put on two pounds in two weeks.”

“It makes me disgusted and angry that people can just dump animals especially when a pet is a lifetime commitment. They could have found the cat a new home with someone who could deal with his medical issues instead of dumping him off for dead,” the OP said.

Forbes pointed out that 66% of households in the US—totaling to nearly 87 million of them—own a pet, 46.5 million of which have a cat. Preceded only by a dog, it’s the second most popular pet in the country.

The redditors thought the OP wasn’t a jerk in the situation

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People shared similar stories in the comments

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cali-tabby-katz avatar
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is plenty old enough to learn to treat animals gently.

kyriadenton avatar
Captain Kyra
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At 9 I'd be concerned that she is showing so little respect for boundaries. Her mother needs to be less concerned about Aunt being an a***hole and more concerned about her daughter being one. Toddlers are taught to treat animals with respect. Mom may need to take a serious look at how her daughter treats others, and how she treats her daughter. Kids can feel like pawns in life, maybe she wants to Queen over something. Give her a little autonomy and she if she shows more respect for the autonomy of others.

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laura_ketteridge avatar
LK
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Deserve' is the wrong word. But it is very much 'natural consequences'. This is an excellent time to talk about boundaries, and learning some compassion.

claytonj23 avatar
Jennifer Clayton
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have this problem as a dog owner in an apartment complex. Some people think my dog is a Disneyland ride and send their kids/toddlers to poke at him while he's dumping lunch. When I warn them he's not good with kids, he's really old, they get mad. I walk with a cane and also a leash, I don't have time to protect tiny fingers.

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They’ve been warned plenty of times. If they send their kid over to bother the dog, one day someone is going to get bit. Not your dog’s fault, not your fault. They’ll try to make it your fault. It’s not and don’t let them try that. Plenty of warning.

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fatharry4 avatar
Fat Harry
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We've got a 20 year old who we have to keep telling to leave the dog alone when she's sleeping. He just can't help himself from bothering the dog, putting his face right next to hers, and generally annoying her when all she's doing is keeping to herself. He's not got developmental difficulties, he's just an idiot.

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Putting his face right next to hers and annoying her is basically begging her to bite him in the face.

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danrider avatar
Son of Philosoraptor
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My kid was about... 6? Playing with a cat named Corey Suddenly he's crying, flayed from elbow to wrist down his arm. Ok, scratched, but it's a pretty good one and Corey was a good girl. He had blown his breath hard in her face... Just like we told him not to do to the dog. Kid's all crying and blubbering but actually stammered out "it's my own fault" or words to that effect. Gave the kid a lot of credit for that.

rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it means anything, I had to learn from my mistakes with my first cat, as well. I was the one raising her since I was in what, fourth grade I think? Took a lot of trial and error to figure out when she was playing, and when she meant business.

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the_true_opifex avatar
Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a little kid I was always deliberately provoking the family cat despite being repeatedly told to knock it off. Finally the cat had had enough and slashed me in the face badly enough that I started bleeding. I ran crying to my mum, who took one look and said "serves you right". Which it did.

sandyd avatar
Sandy D
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The little brat got what she deserved. She was told repeatedly what to do and what not to do. She decided she didn't need to cookie the rules, and apparently thinks the cat is there for her to abuse.. She is lucky it didn't bite her. He mouthy sounds like an idjitt and the cause of the 9 y/o's behavior issues, selfish behavior, and rudeness. She esky cos hurt the cat. I would trek her that if she so much as touched one hair on the cat, she would be shoeing an hour writing about what she did wrong, why it's wrong etc. If she half-asses it, she s does all over. Only allow contact between kid and cat when directly supervised by you

kbuchanan111072 avatar
Kimberly Buchanan Fisanick
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did that when my kids were in grade school. I always taught them how to interact with animals. And don't touch someone's animal without permission. Always ask. They have taught my 5 year old grandson too.

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suckit avatar
Loverboy
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone is mistreating my pet this badly, they are leaving. I don't care if it's a child. They were told repeatedly what to do and what not to do and it kept happening. Poor cat.

cali-tabby-katz avatar
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like OP lives with her sister and her sister's kids in order to help her sister with childcare. She can't really tell her niece to leave XD However, I agree with your sentiment - I don't tolerate anyone being rough with my pets. My puppy is disabled, but adorable, so little kids want to pet him/know what's wrong with him (he has myoclonus.) I have to tell them to be careful, especially with his ears. 99% of children will listen and will pet him gently. OP's niece, at 9, is old enough to learn. She is treating the cat like this deliberately because she WANTS to.

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rosieetike avatar
Tyke
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had cats when I grew up. I learnt very quickly not to bother our elderly cat when I was around 4 because she scratched me - my Mum said "I've told you before she doesn't like that, I've told you before what signs to look for. The cat can't speak so you push it, you'll get scratched". I paid way more attention the cat's "signs" after that. All I can say is if this happens again because the niece's behaviour doesn't change then yes, she deserves it then.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is true - they give clear signs when they aren’t happy and warnings before they lash out.

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karentetrault avatar
Zoey Rayne
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, you could have looked your niece in the eye and said, "I told you so" and still not have been the a*****e. What a brat.

kbuchanan111072 avatar
Kimberly Buchanan Fisanick
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If parents do not, teach their children how to interact with animals, they should be smart enough, the animal is going to defend itself. Every act, has an equal, consequence. Bottom line, parents need to teach their children how to interact with animals. And you interact with all animals differently.

kayrose avatar
Roan The Demon Kitty
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the Nephew in this story , who has Down Syndrome, which often causes severe learning difficulty and developmental delay, can learn to treat a cat properly, then so can the 9 year old niece, because I am assuming as it wasn't mentioned in her case, she isn't mentally disabled etc?. Maybe it wasn't worded the best way, but hopefully this will deter her from annoying the cat too much in the future, and I'm sure it will heal up quickly.

jessicaspecht avatar
Jessica SpeLangm
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty much everyone here has said what I was thinking. If I was Chandler and I kept getting treated roughly, I might have done something worse to the niece. I think the niece needs to get time outs when she doesn't listen as far as how to handle Chandler properly.

valerieapp345 avatar
Demolition Lover (He/him)
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Animals have feelings and boundaries just like humans.They are not toys. If you can't understand that, you have to learn the hard way.

tamarahoryza avatar
zena bena
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No and dge did deserve it,time to learn about cause and effect and about consequences now instead of at 16 when 2 late

zovjraarme avatar
zovjraar me
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when i was a toddler, apparently i liked to sit on the cat, Miss Kitty. my mum told me numerous times not to do it, that it hurt the cat, and one day she would hurt me back. one day i sat on her and she scratched the hell outta me and my mum said, i told you so. was nice to Miss Kitty after that and now i'm a crazy cat lady with 4 cats of my own. and my nieces and nephew have always understood how to pet my cats and not to pick them up. since they were toddlers. so this 9 year FAFO lol.

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did I just read “She tried to pick him up again this morning”? She’s just “asking” to be scratched again, or next time bit. 9 years old is plenty old enough to learn this and follow through. It’s not like she doesn’t understand this, she chooses not to do as she’s (gently) instructed. Sounds like she needs to be continually reminded about the pain of that scratch and it will happen again if she keeps it up. Or, bit. Your cat sounds like an absolute gem to put up with it yhis long, and repeatedly without having scratched her a long time ago. Plus, what’s with mom that she doesn’t get involved in her child doing this. Is OP the only one who is doing so?

rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Quick question. Where is OP's sister when her daughter is antagonizing the kind of animal capable of physically letting one know when it is either done with or not interested in affection?

impossiblekat avatar
Kat Lyle
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had a Rottweiler and the only person he ever nipped once was my stepbrother who had AMPLE warning and had been told by myself and my father to stop teasing him and pulling his tail. Naturally his mother wanted the dog put down, my father told her to foxtrot.

kristinasoblinskyte avatar
Kristina Pelėda
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont understand kids nowadays. You cant even tell them, that bad behavior leads to consequences? Where exacly are we going as a humanity?

napalm-glop avatar
Rod
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Phrasing could be better but otherwise 100% NTA. Send me your sister, I'll explain it to her =)

tenrec-12 avatar
Bookworm
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We've been away for the last few days, so we asked a local 10-year-old to come feed the animals with adult supervision. When he came over to meet the cats, he wanted to play with our black cat in her cat tunnel. We all warned him that our very sweet and friendly cat uses her claws in the tunnel and will absolutely scratch you if you stick your hand in there and don't take it out fast enough, because the tunnel is Wild Crazy Playtime. He said it was fine and kept sticking his hands in. Really hoping we don't come home to discover he has a new collection of cat scratches, but this is kind of the definition of 'mess around and find out,' so... natural consequences, I guess?

v_r_tayloryahoo_com avatar
v
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First reply to OP was "could it have been phrased differently". No. There was nothing wrong or offensive in the phrasing. Tell it exactly like it is so that the meaning isn't lost. Making the phrase pretty and inoffensive simply obscures the meaning.

raemo avatar
Rae Mo
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The kids doesn't seem to get it so no matter how it was phrased she was still being a disrespectful brat.

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sarahturney87 avatar
Sarah Turney
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA when my daughter was 6 she kept picking up the cat explained everything about respecting living animals blah blah. I told her she will get scratched one day. She did and I said you deserved that. She left the cat alone x

christinekuhn avatar
Ael
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Move out, let sis deal with her 4 kids alone, enjoy your lovely life with your cat.

wendillon avatar
Monday
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids like that 9 year old are excellent birth control.....buuuuut then kids like the nephew who listen and learn counteract it.

andreakaren14 avatar
Andrea Squires
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is old enough to know, but has she been around animals before? My daughter is 4 and so incredibly amazing ith animals BUT she was brought into the home when we already had two dogs, and she had to find her place and learn to respect them from early on.

larisamigachyov avatar
Lara M
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, some of it might just be lack of exposure. We got our cats when our daughter was 5, so she learned that lesson early - one scratch to the face was enough. A kid who doesn't have as much experience with animals will default to treating them like stuffed toys since that's all they know.

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kevinfelton avatar
Kevin Felton
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Honestly I'm surprised it took your cat this long to let her know what's up. Also your sister sounds toxic as s**t. You're better off letting her deal with her own brats if this is the way she acts when you try to impart lessons that she should be teaching them.

blackdog8911 avatar
Della
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta. Deserve was the right word. She's been warned, the cat took up for himself, she had it coming. Why sugarcoat it?

kathmorgan avatar
kath morgan
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve always thought cats are good pets for kids precisely because they will set boundaries like this.

478llamas avatar
mysterious(all pronouns)
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember being pretty little and petting a cat, and out of the blue it bit me (not hard, but it was surprising). I wasn't sure why, but it didn't hurt and I just figured that it wanted me to leave it alone, so I stopped. This isn't a hard concept for kids to understand.

royalstray avatar
Royal Stray
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw somewhere that petting cats in certain ways apparently stimulates them in a way that makes them want to play fight or bite, but I'm not sure how true it is

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nattierice avatar
Nattie Rice
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally I don't think this woman or her cat did or said anything wrong, and no she didn't need to word it differently her words were just right, even kids need to hear the unfiltered truth.

sethmarsh avatar
Seth
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's 9 years old, and you gave her plenty of coaching on how to be respectful to this cat, who is obviously extremely patient for not scratching her previously. I would expect better of a 3 year old. She 100% deserved to be scratched, and the only reasonable path forward is for her to change her behavior. Her mother clearly enables her behavior and doesn't hold her accountable for her lack of consideration.

simon_hirschi avatar
Terran
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pain can be an excellent teacher, let's hope the niece listens well.

funkycherry81 avatar
The Redhead
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA your niece has been repeatly told & ahown how to play with your cat she chooses not to do that & she needs to learn there arw consiquens for her actions.

mroldschoolcool avatar
Mr Old School Cool
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s how i learned how to pet nice (blue Siamese with attitude)

kamis_dewey_1 avatar
Kamis Dewey
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I’ve been teaching my kids since they were born to pay attention to animals’ body language. If they don’t pay attention they learn real quick what happens. You can’t control how animals are going to react so YOU need to be the one with caution. If that were my 9-year-old I’m totally the kind of parent who would say “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” before remembering I also need to give my kids empathy. Kid, I love you, but do dumb stuff with cats and you get scratched.

desiree_meredith avatar
Desiree Meredith
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son has been told from about the age of 3 that if he's harassing the cats, and gets scratched, it's his fault, not theirs. Animals deserve body autonomy, just as we do. Guess who learned very quickly?

joann-f avatar
Jo Firth
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs to move into her own place and let her sister look after her own 4 children. Perhaps then her sister might be more cooperative teaching her daughter the correct way to treat the cat...

chsmith avatar
CHRISTY SMITH
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She absolutely deserved it, wished he did it every single time, kid’s an a*****e and her mom is an even bigger a*****e.

dl-weber-mclean avatar
Deedee
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree 120% with the cat owner. Cats r sentient beings and your niece has to learn to respect that and listen 2 u. If she doesnt she cant touch the cat. Just like if someone kept bothering her, she wouldn't like it. I would also wonder if shes doing it 2 get attention or shes pretty close to bullying the cat because she perceives the cat is less powerful than her. 9 years old is more than old enough to understand how 2 treats animals. My son had cat since he was a year and he was taught from day 1..be gentle..and he was

grant-mcinnes avatar
rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm concerned that maybe I have the most harmless shepherd in the world in terms of temperament (but I'll admit I'm biased), but she's still a big dog. Sometimes she gets over excited when she plays or snaps up a treat, and every now and then I get an unwelcome surprise from her teeth.

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lisaelliott_3 avatar
Parriah
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is entirely old enough to know the cat didn’t enjoy it and was saying stop. She just didn’t care because SHE wanted to do it. That behavior of meeting her needs at the expense of others comfort will continue in other aspects of her life if not corrected. Cat taught her a valuable lesson in boundaries. She has some clearly established with your cat now.

jasoncolquitt avatar
Jason C.
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. The cat is doing what comes naturally to it. She was warned and suffered the consequences.

fayegreen_1 avatar
Faye Green
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are not the AH. You warned your niece more than once, and she still didn't listen. She needed a little lesson that bothering the cat when it obviously doesn't want vto be pestered is asking for a scratch or a bite. You tell your sister that her 9 year old should know better when warned more times than you care to count not to bother the cat. Havecyour sister talk to her daughter about boundaries and respect. I see there is an issue with the 9 yr old that she wasn't properly taught about morals, etiquette, boundaries or respect. If you find neither listens then move out.

brittanycopeland avatar
Brittany Copeland
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew by the time I was 4 not to mess with the cat(s). 9 is most certainly old enough to know better.

brianne_amos avatar
Brainmas
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just start picking her up every time you enter a room she's already in and see how fast she gets annoyed. 9 is definitely old enough to listen to directions and have respect for animals. She did deserve it. Hell when my daughter got scratched for annoying the cats after I told her to stop even at like 4, she deserved it and learned from it, and also didn't cry, jeez.

angelwingsyt avatar
AngelWingsYT
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is old enough to not play rough. I knew better at half that age n under. She's lucky it was just a scratch n not a bite!

rayarani avatar
Ray Arani
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually wonder if something else is going on with the niece. Is it possible she's got unmet needs? To be that incapable of unwilling to respect basic rules and boundaries at that age is not typical. She might not be as neurotypical as the family thinks, certain disabilities are much harder to see than something on obvious like Downs, and moreover, even commonly known ones like Autism and ADHD which both have impulse control issues as indicators commonly aren't always easy to spot, particularly not in girls, who often don't get diagnosed until adulthood. Or maybe she's doing it for attention? Having a sibling with a disability can come with some challenges when it comes to getting enough attention from adults.

ldmonteith avatar
Key Lime
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too bad you couldn't move into your own place for the cat to have some peace. 9 is definitely old enough to know better.

mysteryegg avatar
Mystery Egg
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The aunt is doing a better job than the mother in teaching the child that actions have consequences.

candacemccoy avatar
HUH?
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A relatives son was like her. At 4 beat up a little kid really bad because that kid had a ball and decided he wanted it . At 5 punched a teacher in the face because she said have a good holiday. Destroyed a computer in school age about 7. At 8 he would pick the cat up and throw him up in the air towards a moving ceiling fan. Same with a puppy. My mother said he was just being a boy. Well that same boy is now an adult and still has problems. Animals don’t like him they hide.

falcawing avatar
Falca Wing
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I said the same thing to my own daughter when she was swatted (no nails used by the cat) by the cat at 2 years old. The cat warned you, I warned you, this is what happends if you don't listen. It never happened again, she respected the cat's boundries after that.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some kids seem to be naturally like this - rough with animals and treating them like toys. Sadly my own niece is the same way (as was my sister before her). I’ve had lots of cats in my 54 years and know when to give them them space, so they come to me for affection and attention. My niece, even at 11, is rough. A couple of my cats run and hide when they hear she’s in the house and come right out when they hear her leave. No matter what I tell her, she doesn’t get it. One cat though tolerates her nonsense and actually doesn’t mind her mailing him, though she even pushes him and he used to be wild so he could do some damage if he chose to. She has gotten some scratches and no sympathy from me. Though I would disinfect with lavender or tea tree right away just in case. I took in two semi-feral kittens last fall that were found under my neighbour’s porch and I didn’t even say anything because I didn’t want her coming over and trying to play with them and maybe hurting them.

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Paula Wynn
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm wondering if it's not something deeper. In child development courses, we were taught that sometimes children do things like this for attention. This girl is old enough to understand what your telling her. She has three other siblings, one who has special needs, and a mom who has a high demand career. At 9, she should be more than capable of giving the kitty his space. Yet with some kids, receiving attention for bad behavior is better than getting none at all. Is it possible she's feeling a little ignored? Just throwing that out there for thought.

ev_1 avatar
E V
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, but maybe apologize for phrasing it the wrong way. But maybe OP and mother could have a chat and talk with her. Or have Mom talk to her. Maybe she needs a consequence from the adults instead of waiting for the cat to defend itself.

spaldingmonn avatar
Spalding Monn
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1000% NTJ. You said exactly what this 9 year old DESREVED to hear. She earned it. Also, what's wrong with her that she's treating your cat this way and why do you continue to allow it. I think you need to up your game with your sister and this nasty girl. You say she tried to pick up the cat the next morning and kitty meowed and objected. Don't you think it's time you told her that maybe that cat doesn't like her and ask her why SHOULD tje cat like her - please list everything she has done to the cat.

grant-mcinnes avatar
I agree with you but...
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my doga bit a kid on the skull. Decent sized gashes. Was a heartbreaker because it was neither one's fault. The dog was laying sleeping and the kid tripped and fell on him. He yelped and ran off. But then the kid approached him to offer an apology, and I guess he still felt threatened. I'll never keep a gun. Hate them. Part of the reason why is that when the red mist descended after seeing that dog hurt a child, if I had a gun we'd have been burying that dog in the back 40. 10 minutes later sanity prevailed, but man it's scary to think what would have happened.

skylarjaxx avatar
Skylar Jaxx
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think deserve is the wrong word or to harsh she is 9 and can understand no don't do that. When u received consequences for your actions there all very much deserved. U don't earn what u don't deserve.

sue8260 avatar
Sue D
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sick and tired of these little human brats, pestering and bothering, and otherwise getting in the faces of these innocent animals. The innocent animal gets carted off to a shelter. And the brat doesn't get any blowback. Consequences! Let's see how the little human brat likes to be pestered needlessly.

sarahkostelac avatar
Marowynn
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any time my pre-k students insist on continuing to do something that we've told them will result in injury we don't feel bad when they inevitably get hurt. Now we don't outright tell them they deserved to get hurt for doing that but we will certainly say something about it not being a good choice and that's what can happen when you don't make good choices. These are 3-5 year olds and it usually takes just that one time for them to understand. Far younger than 9.

janethowe_1 avatar
Janet Howe
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This whole thing is ridiculous. Right now I'm getting angry about a situation that isn't even my own. Lol. This child seems to have little respect for authority or animals. Sure maybe it would help her to learn the warning signs when a cat is angry. BUT, even better, she could learn to do as she's told! Is there an undiagnosed emotional or mental problem with this girl? She's 9, old enough to understand directions, and old enough to learn how to treat an animal. She just doesn't care. A 3 yr old knows better. Her mother should be participating more to teach this child, rather than coddling. Really, who's the AH here? The kid. Mom's a close 2nd. Why is it so difficult for her to learn the correct way to treat an animal? Maybe the cat shouldn't be allowed to sleep on the girls bed. The girl is acting like she has "ownership" of the cat, and can do whatever she wants to it. Frankly, if that was my cat being mistreated, I'd move out.

apontious2121 avatar
Amy Pontious
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely agree with the OP and how she worded it! I remember I was 5 or six and I was messing with the family dog while it was eating and the dog bit me right above the eyebrow! My mom made sure I was ok and everything and then perceived to chew my butt out for messing with the dog while he was eating and I knew better which I did. So the nine year old niece was being a brat and hopefully this doesn't happen again!

natashaarruda avatar
Natasha Arruda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a niece who is now four and a nephew who is ten. The nephew isn't really into animals at all, beyond garter snakes now and then (it's just a small greeting generally before I relocate it to a place where my pets aren't likely to get hold of it). My niece is very into animals though and I have to explain things like this to her but we are very non reactive when things happen. "Oh, did he scratch you? He was trying to play and he doesn't know that he'd hurt you so if you try and play like that with him, you'll get scratched. If you don't mind, you can play but otherwise only use the cat stick toy or stay calm while petting him. Lets get a bandaid." That sort of thing.

michelembennett1010att_net avatar
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA sister is for calling you one when she has not done her job as a parent by teaching her to 1. Respect what the Aunt tells her and obey the rules 2. Respect the cat as a living creature and not a toy. Stop coddling kids, after numerous times of telling her her behavior with the cat is inappropriate and she continued to ignore, she did,indeed, deserve to be scratched. She’s 9, not 3, and understands. Now she understands consequences of her bratty behavior. Suck it up kiddo and mom.

denilla avatar
De Nilla
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My neighbor has many outdoor cats. They aren't fixed, and the one female is constantly pregnant. Oddly, no female kittens survive beyond 2 months old. Her son is about 3.5 years old. He picks up the kittens and punches them repeatedly, hits them with large, heavy rocks, kicks them full force in the face. A few months ago, 2 of the cats had their noses kicked in. I've of their noses was hanging off. There was puss blocking their nostril and if I hadn't cleaned it out, they probably would've suffocated. The mother stands by and watches, but says nothing. Some people have no consideration for animals at all

margaretchandler avatar
Margaret Chandler
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Scariest possibilty is cat scratching eye(s) while trying to get away...corneal damage or worse leading to permanent partial vision loss or worse?!

leasaymmoore avatar
LoonTunes
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of us have to learn for ourselves that the stove is hot. Short story: We were camping ( 3 couples) one couple in the group brought their Doberman Pincher ( Fatty Patty) One guy bothered that dog all weekend long. None of us said a word. When she had finally had enough she backed his a*s up. Problem solved.

gcs5017907 avatar
Doodles1983
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the ah. If it were a strangers dog and she did the same, the dog could get destroyed and her scratch could be much worse. She is old enough to learn boundaries and I imagine cat was pushed far before scratching her if he tolerates a lot already! She did deserve it. I’m not sure I would even rephrase it. How many times was she warned before that?!

techshure avatar
tech shure
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for the information you shared about 9Now Activation I appreciate your efforts and taking the time and sharing this content.

alanavoeks_1 avatar
Nykky
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kid started immediately trying to play with a creature again that harmed them. They got angry at the cat, not just upset it seems. If I was in the mother's shoes, I'd be getting that child checked out asap. That sounds like the start of a dark personality type, especially for so young. (There's many more psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists/etc around than you expect. They were just raised to treat others with respect and an understanding that there WILL be consequences to anything they may do. That's why not many of them turn out to be criminals.)

sherryo1950 avatar
Sherry Olson
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had old dogs when my daughter was born. The first thing I did was put her on a blanket on the floor and let them check her out. I knew they would never hurt her unless she annoyed them. And I kept telling her, "If the dog ever bites you, you will get spanked." When she was just walking, she'd want to play with the old McNabb/Shepherd. Lady would put up with it for a while and then move across the room. Baby would follow. I warned her to leave her alone. One day Lady decided she had enough. She turned on her, was just tall enough to come in right at eye level, and snapped and barked. Never touched her but scared the c**p out of her. Then walked across the room. "I told you." Daughter respected the dogs after that.

gerryhumphrey avatar
Gerry Humphrey
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had an adult military retirement for adults ownly. Of course one couple brought 2 boys about 7 & 9. We put our 2 beagles and cat in the finished basement with their food, water and toys. Party was in our kichen, den and deck. The boys managed to sneak down into the basement. We heard sceaming and crying. The older boy insisted he had been bitten. Anyway the beagles liked kids but no being teased. One dog knew how to Pinch not bite. Gave the kid a pinch we thought without leaving a mark. Good Dog , Boys and parents learned some lessons.

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Cajun Affiliates
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter (18 mos) was at her sitter. Grabbed the sitter's cat by the belly. Got all scratched up. My poor sitter thought I was going to be angry. I told her that my daughter will likely never do that again. She's now 32, and has never repeated that mistake as far as I know. And she has cats of her own.

amberf0109 avatar
Amber.exe(She/They)
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA-If the nephew can understand,she can too.And as Op said in few of the comments she could've worded it better and I agree,but she was given warning after warning.I used to do the same thing and my warning was being poked in between my big toe and my other toe

jora84 avatar
Plutarch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. YES. Y. E. S. So glad to hear about people who value their pets as high as I do.

victortrejo avatar
Victor Trejo
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't tell VICTIM that they deserve what happened to them. But I see no wrongdoing by telling a bratty kid that she deserved what she brought upon herself.

synthwolfe avatar
Nathan Wolfe
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We used to have cats and my daughter was similar (was around 4-5 though). My cat scratched her because she would grab his ears and yank. It was not deep, white marks and a single drop of blood. She was crying, and screaming. I comforted her, took care of the scratch, and when she had calmed enough to listen, I calmly told her "you hurt him. He hurt you to show you it hurts. Be nice." After that, she treated him well. Up until we had to put him down sadly...

boatswain_bill avatar
Boatswain Bill
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's with this whole "you should have phrased it better" nonsense? The little b***h got what she deserved, 100%, and needed to be told as much. Every once and again they need to be reminded they're bastards and eventually they'll come across someone who won't take their s**t.

isthebest2468 avatar
Geno Jackson
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, the aunt is both not the AITA, but also is. She could have been nicer with that instead of saying she deserves pain. But that neice was old enough to understand what she was being told

aidenschafer avatar
Aiden Schafer
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cats suck and op sounds like a crazy cat person. Euthanize it.

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Mimi M
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was frustrating to read. She won't get the cat a safe place to retreat to and won't tell the niece flat out not to pick up the cat...

ewa avatar
ewa
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lesson stands, obviously. But nobody "deserves" pain, not even a slightly egocentric 9 year old

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Austin Joseph
Community Member
11 months ago

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De Nilla
Community Member
11 months ago

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If you toss a normal, healthy cat, it will land on its feet. I don't get the "fragile" comment. And she most definitely is TA for saying that to a 9 year old. She is acting like a child herself, by basically saying "haha that's what you get" rather than explaining like an adult that this could happen.

marysmith_18 avatar
Stupid and Worthless
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because they will land on their feet doesn't mean the cat won't get hurt. My God, person, cats can get hurt from a minor fall, even a jump they make on their own. No, YOU are the AH for disrespecting an animal. Do this world a favor and not breed or have pets. You are clearly unsuited. The op HAD explained over and over to her bratty niece what would happen so go back, learn to read and stop eating your own toilet Snickers bars.

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John Smith (he/him/xy/️)
Community Member
11 months ago (edited)

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Good life lessons for once she enters dating age. Men won't be at her beck and call like that either.

marysmith_18 avatar
Stupid and Worthless
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As much as I disagree with your comment, I agree with it too. When she gets older, I don't think it will be her wanting the attention but her wanting men to respect her boundaries and her "no" or "stop". 9 is more than old enough to understand that concept and karma will be quite rude if she doesn't learn soon.

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jonathan doe
Community Member
11 months ago

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So people praise fur babies more then kids? people are like fu*k you, you deserve worse for treating an animal like an animal

rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And how would the girl "earn" praise in this particular situation, over an animal defending itself? "Fur baby" or not, you don't touch an animal that belongs to someone without asking, and you don't touch strays just because you "want to". The girl's mother is a nurse, I'm surprised she hasn't warned her daughter herself of the dangers of giving animals unsolicited affection. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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Lakota Wolf
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is plenty old enough to learn to treat animals gently.

kyriadenton avatar
Captain Kyra
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At 9 I'd be concerned that she is showing so little respect for boundaries. Her mother needs to be less concerned about Aunt being an a***hole and more concerned about her daughter being one. Toddlers are taught to treat animals with respect. Mom may need to take a serious look at how her daughter treats others, and how she treats her daughter. Kids can feel like pawns in life, maybe she wants to Queen over something. Give her a little autonomy and she if she shows more respect for the autonomy of others.

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LK
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Deserve' is the wrong word. But it is very much 'natural consequences'. This is an excellent time to talk about boundaries, and learning some compassion.

claytonj23 avatar
Jennifer Clayton
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have this problem as a dog owner in an apartment complex. Some people think my dog is a Disneyland ride and send their kids/toddlers to poke at him while he's dumping lunch. When I warn them he's not good with kids, he's really old, they get mad. I walk with a cane and also a leash, I don't have time to protect tiny fingers.

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They’ve been warned plenty of times. If they send their kid over to bother the dog, one day someone is going to get bit. Not your dog’s fault, not your fault. They’ll try to make it your fault. It’s not and don’t let them try that. Plenty of warning.

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Fat Harry
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We've got a 20 year old who we have to keep telling to leave the dog alone when she's sleeping. He just can't help himself from bothering the dog, putting his face right next to hers, and generally annoying her when all she's doing is keeping to herself. He's not got developmental difficulties, he's just an idiot.

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Putting his face right next to hers and annoying her is basically begging her to bite him in the face.

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Son of Philosoraptor
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My kid was about... 6? Playing with a cat named Corey Suddenly he's crying, flayed from elbow to wrist down his arm. Ok, scratched, but it's a pretty good one and Corey was a good girl. He had blown his breath hard in her face... Just like we told him not to do to the dog. Kid's all crying and blubbering but actually stammered out "it's my own fault" or words to that effect. Gave the kid a lot of credit for that.

rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it means anything, I had to learn from my mistakes with my first cat, as well. I was the one raising her since I was in what, fourth grade I think? Took a lot of trial and error to figure out when she was playing, and when she meant business.

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a little kid I was always deliberately provoking the family cat despite being repeatedly told to knock it off. Finally the cat had had enough and slashed me in the face badly enough that I started bleeding. I ran crying to my mum, who took one look and said "serves you right". Which it did.

sandyd avatar
Sandy D
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The little brat got what she deserved. She was told repeatedly what to do and what not to do. She decided she didn't need to cookie the rules, and apparently thinks the cat is there for her to abuse.. She is lucky it didn't bite her. He mouthy sounds like an idjitt and the cause of the 9 y/o's behavior issues, selfish behavior, and rudeness. She esky cos hurt the cat. I would trek her that if she so much as touched one hair on the cat, she would be shoeing an hour writing about what she did wrong, why it's wrong etc. If she half-asses it, she s does all over. Only allow contact between kid and cat when directly supervised by you

kbuchanan111072 avatar
Kimberly Buchanan Fisanick
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did that when my kids were in grade school. I always taught them how to interact with animals. And don't touch someone's animal without permission. Always ask. They have taught my 5 year old grandson too.

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suckit avatar
Loverboy
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone is mistreating my pet this badly, they are leaving. I don't care if it's a child. They were told repeatedly what to do and what not to do and it kept happening. Poor cat.

cali-tabby-katz avatar
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like OP lives with her sister and her sister's kids in order to help her sister with childcare. She can't really tell her niece to leave XD However, I agree with your sentiment - I don't tolerate anyone being rough with my pets. My puppy is disabled, but adorable, so little kids want to pet him/know what's wrong with him (he has myoclonus.) I have to tell them to be careful, especially with his ears. 99% of children will listen and will pet him gently. OP's niece, at 9, is old enough to learn. She is treating the cat like this deliberately because she WANTS to.

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rosieetike avatar
Tyke
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had cats when I grew up. I learnt very quickly not to bother our elderly cat when I was around 4 because she scratched me - my Mum said "I've told you before she doesn't like that, I've told you before what signs to look for. The cat can't speak so you push it, you'll get scratched". I paid way more attention the cat's "signs" after that. All I can say is if this happens again because the niece's behaviour doesn't change then yes, she deserves it then.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is true - they give clear signs when they aren’t happy and warnings before they lash out.

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karentetrault avatar
Zoey Rayne
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, you could have looked your niece in the eye and said, "I told you so" and still not have been the a*****e. What a brat.

kbuchanan111072 avatar
Kimberly Buchanan Fisanick
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If parents do not, teach their children how to interact with animals, they should be smart enough, the animal is going to defend itself. Every act, has an equal, consequence. Bottom line, parents need to teach their children how to interact with animals. And you interact with all animals differently.

kayrose avatar
Roan The Demon Kitty
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the Nephew in this story , who has Down Syndrome, which often causes severe learning difficulty and developmental delay, can learn to treat a cat properly, then so can the 9 year old niece, because I am assuming as it wasn't mentioned in her case, she isn't mentally disabled etc?. Maybe it wasn't worded the best way, but hopefully this will deter her from annoying the cat too much in the future, and I'm sure it will heal up quickly.

jessicaspecht avatar
Jessica SpeLangm
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty much everyone here has said what I was thinking. If I was Chandler and I kept getting treated roughly, I might have done something worse to the niece. I think the niece needs to get time outs when she doesn't listen as far as how to handle Chandler properly.

valerieapp345 avatar
Demolition Lover (He/him)
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Animals have feelings and boundaries just like humans.They are not toys. If you can't understand that, you have to learn the hard way.

tamarahoryza avatar
zena bena
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No and dge did deserve it,time to learn about cause and effect and about consequences now instead of at 16 when 2 late

zovjraarme avatar
zovjraar me
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when i was a toddler, apparently i liked to sit on the cat, Miss Kitty. my mum told me numerous times not to do it, that it hurt the cat, and one day she would hurt me back. one day i sat on her and she scratched the hell outta me and my mum said, i told you so. was nice to Miss Kitty after that and now i'm a crazy cat lady with 4 cats of my own. and my nieces and nephew have always understood how to pet my cats and not to pick them up. since they were toddlers. so this 9 year FAFO lol.

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did I just read “She tried to pick him up again this morning”? She’s just “asking” to be scratched again, or next time bit. 9 years old is plenty old enough to learn this and follow through. It’s not like she doesn’t understand this, she chooses not to do as she’s (gently) instructed. Sounds like she needs to be continually reminded about the pain of that scratch and it will happen again if she keeps it up. Or, bit. Your cat sounds like an absolute gem to put up with it yhis long, and repeatedly without having scratched her a long time ago. Plus, what’s with mom that she doesn’t get involved in her child doing this. Is OP the only one who is doing so?

rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Quick question. Where is OP's sister when her daughter is antagonizing the kind of animal capable of physically letting one know when it is either done with or not interested in affection?

impossiblekat avatar
Kat Lyle
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had a Rottweiler and the only person he ever nipped once was my stepbrother who had AMPLE warning and had been told by myself and my father to stop teasing him and pulling his tail. Naturally his mother wanted the dog put down, my father told her to foxtrot.

kristinasoblinskyte avatar
Kristina Pelėda
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont understand kids nowadays. You cant even tell them, that bad behavior leads to consequences? Where exacly are we going as a humanity?

napalm-glop avatar
Rod
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Phrasing could be better but otherwise 100% NTA. Send me your sister, I'll explain it to her =)

tenrec-12 avatar
Bookworm
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We've been away for the last few days, so we asked a local 10-year-old to come feed the animals with adult supervision. When he came over to meet the cats, he wanted to play with our black cat in her cat tunnel. We all warned him that our very sweet and friendly cat uses her claws in the tunnel and will absolutely scratch you if you stick your hand in there and don't take it out fast enough, because the tunnel is Wild Crazy Playtime. He said it was fine and kept sticking his hands in. Really hoping we don't come home to discover he has a new collection of cat scratches, but this is kind of the definition of 'mess around and find out,' so... natural consequences, I guess?

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v
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First reply to OP was "could it have been phrased differently". No. There was nothing wrong or offensive in the phrasing. Tell it exactly like it is so that the meaning isn't lost. Making the phrase pretty and inoffensive simply obscures the meaning.

raemo avatar
Rae Mo
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The kids doesn't seem to get it so no matter how it was phrased she was still being a disrespectful brat.

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Sarah Turney
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA when my daughter was 6 she kept picking up the cat explained everything about respecting living animals blah blah. I told her she will get scratched one day. She did and I said you deserved that. She left the cat alone x

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Ael
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Move out, let sis deal with her 4 kids alone, enjoy your lovely life with your cat.

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Monday
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids like that 9 year old are excellent birth control.....buuuuut then kids like the nephew who listen and learn counteract it.

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Andrea Squires
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is old enough to know, but has she been around animals before? My daughter is 4 and so incredibly amazing ith animals BUT she was brought into the home when we already had two dogs, and she had to find her place and learn to respect them from early on.

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Lara M
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, some of it might just be lack of exposure. We got our cats when our daughter was 5, so she learned that lesson early - one scratch to the face was enough. A kid who doesn't have as much experience with animals will default to treating them like stuffed toys since that's all they know.

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Kevin Felton
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Honestly I'm surprised it took your cat this long to let her know what's up. Also your sister sounds toxic as s**t. You're better off letting her deal with her own brats if this is the way she acts when you try to impart lessons that she should be teaching them.

blackdog8911 avatar
Della
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta. Deserve was the right word. She's been warned, the cat took up for himself, she had it coming. Why sugarcoat it?

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kath morgan
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve always thought cats are good pets for kids precisely because they will set boundaries like this.

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mysterious(all pronouns)
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember being pretty little and petting a cat, and out of the blue it bit me (not hard, but it was surprising). I wasn't sure why, but it didn't hurt and I just figured that it wanted me to leave it alone, so I stopped. This isn't a hard concept for kids to understand.

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Royal Stray
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw somewhere that petting cats in certain ways apparently stimulates them in a way that makes them want to play fight or bite, but I'm not sure how true it is

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Nattie Rice
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally I don't think this woman or her cat did or said anything wrong, and no she didn't need to word it differently her words were just right, even kids need to hear the unfiltered truth.

sethmarsh avatar
Seth
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's 9 years old, and you gave her plenty of coaching on how to be respectful to this cat, who is obviously extremely patient for not scratching her previously. I would expect better of a 3 year old. She 100% deserved to be scratched, and the only reasonable path forward is for her to change her behavior. Her mother clearly enables her behavior and doesn't hold her accountable for her lack of consideration.

simon_hirschi avatar
Terran
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pain can be an excellent teacher, let's hope the niece listens well.

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The Redhead
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA your niece has been repeatly told & ahown how to play with your cat she chooses not to do that & she needs to learn there arw consiquens for her actions.

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Mr Old School Cool
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s how i learned how to pet nice (blue Siamese with attitude)

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Kamis Dewey
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I’ve been teaching my kids since they were born to pay attention to animals’ body language. If they don’t pay attention they learn real quick what happens. You can’t control how animals are going to react so YOU need to be the one with caution. If that were my 9-year-old I’m totally the kind of parent who would say “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” before remembering I also need to give my kids empathy. Kid, I love you, but do dumb stuff with cats and you get scratched.

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Desiree Meredith
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son has been told from about the age of 3 that if he's harassing the cats, and gets scratched, it's his fault, not theirs. Animals deserve body autonomy, just as we do. Guess who learned very quickly?

joann-f avatar
Jo Firth
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs to move into her own place and let her sister look after her own 4 children. Perhaps then her sister might be more cooperative teaching her daughter the correct way to treat the cat...

chsmith avatar
CHRISTY SMITH
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She absolutely deserved it, wished he did it every single time, kid’s an a*****e and her mom is an even bigger a*****e.

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Deedee
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree 120% with the cat owner. Cats r sentient beings and your niece has to learn to respect that and listen 2 u. If she doesnt she cant touch the cat. Just like if someone kept bothering her, she wouldn't like it. I would also wonder if shes doing it 2 get attention or shes pretty close to bullying the cat because she perceives the cat is less powerful than her. 9 years old is more than old enough to understand how 2 treats animals. My son had cat since he was a year and he was taught from day 1..be gentle..and he was

grant-mcinnes avatar
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Abbelius
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm concerned that maybe I have the most harmless shepherd in the world in terms of temperament (but I'll admit I'm biased), but she's still a big dog. Sometimes she gets over excited when she plays or snaps up a treat, and every now and then I get an unwelcome surprise from her teeth.

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Parriah
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is entirely old enough to know the cat didn’t enjoy it and was saying stop. She just didn’t care because SHE wanted to do it. That behavior of meeting her needs at the expense of others comfort will continue in other aspects of her life if not corrected. Cat taught her a valuable lesson in boundaries. She has some clearly established with your cat now.

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Jason C.
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. The cat is doing what comes naturally to it. She was warned and suffered the consequences.

fayegreen_1 avatar
Faye Green
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are not the AH. You warned your niece more than once, and she still didn't listen. She needed a little lesson that bothering the cat when it obviously doesn't want vto be pestered is asking for a scratch or a bite. You tell your sister that her 9 year old should know better when warned more times than you care to count not to bother the cat. Havecyour sister talk to her daughter about boundaries and respect. I see there is an issue with the 9 yr old that she wasn't properly taught about morals, etiquette, boundaries or respect. If you find neither listens then move out.

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Brittany Copeland
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew by the time I was 4 not to mess with the cat(s). 9 is most certainly old enough to know better.

brianne_amos avatar
Brainmas
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just start picking her up every time you enter a room she's already in and see how fast she gets annoyed. 9 is definitely old enough to listen to directions and have respect for animals. She did deserve it. Hell when my daughter got scratched for annoying the cats after I told her to stop even at like 4, she deserved it and learned from it, and also didn't cry, jeez.

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AngelWingsYT
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is old enough to not play rough. I knew better at half that age n under. She's lucky it was just a scratch n not a bite!

rayarani avatar
Ray Arani
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually wonder if something else is going on with the niece. Is it possible she's got unmet needs? To be that incapable of unwilling to respect basic rules and boundaries at that age is not typical. She might not be as neurotypical as the family thinks, certain disabilities are much harder to see than something on obvious like Downs, and moreover, even commonly known ones like Autism and ADHD which both have impulse control issues as indicators commonly aren't always easy to spot, particularly not in girls, who often don't get diagnosed until adulthood. Or maybe she's doing it for attention? Having a sibling with a disability can come with some challenges when it comes to getting enough attention from adults.

ldmonteith avatar
Key Lime
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too bad you couldn't move into your own place for the cat to have some peace. 9 is definitely old enough to know better.

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Mystery Egg
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The aunt is doing a better job than the mother in teaching the child that actions have consequences.

candacemccoy avatar
HUH?
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A relatives son was like her. At 4 beat up a little kid really bad because that kid had a ball and decided he wanted it . At 5 punched a teacher in the face because she said have a good holiday. Destroyed a computer in school age about 7. At 8 he would pick the cat up and throw him up in the air towards a moving ceiling fan. Same with a puppy. My mother said he was just being a boy. Well that same boy is now an adult and still has problems. Animals don’t like him they hide.

falcawing avatar
Falca Wing
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I said the same thing to my own daughter when she was swatted (no nails used by the cat) by the cat at 2 years old. The cat warned you, I warned you, this is what happends if you don't listen. It never happened again, she respected the cat's boundries after that.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some kids seem to be naturally like this - rough with animals and treating them like toys. Sadly my own niece is the same way (as was my sister before her). I’ve had lots of cats in my 54 years and know when to give them them space, so they come to me for affection and attention. My niece, even at 11, is rough. A couple of my cats run and hide when they hear she’s in the house and come right out when they hear her leave. No matter what I tell her, she doesn’t get it. One cat though tolerates her nonsense and actually doesn’t mind her mailing him, though she even pushes him and he used to be wild so he could do some damage if he chose to. She has gotten some scratches and no sympathy from me. Though I would disinfect with lavender or tea tree right away just in case. I took in two semi-feral kittens last fall that were found under my neighbour’s porch and I didn’t even say anything because I didn’t want her coming over and trying to play with them and maybe hurting them.

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Paula Wynn
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm wondering if it's not something deeper. In child development courses, we were taught that sometimes children do things like this for attention. This girl is old enough to understand what your telling her. She has three other siblings, one who has special needs, and a mom who has a high demand career. At 9, she should be more than capable of giving the kitty his space. Yet with some kids, receiving attention for bad behavior is better than getting none at all. Is it possible she's feeling a little ignored? Just throwing that out there for thought.

ev_1 avatar
E V
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, but maybe apologize for phrasing it the wrong way. But maybe OP and mother could have a chat and talk with her. Or have Mom talk to her. Maybe she needs a consequence from the adults instead of waiting for the cat to defend itself.

spaldingmonn avatar
Spalding Monn
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1000% NTJ. You said exactly what this 9 year old DESREVED to hear. She earned it. Also, what's wrong with her that she's treating your cat this way and why do you continue to allow it. I think you need to up your game with your sister and this nasty girl. You say she tried to pick up the cat the next morning and kitty meowed and objected. Don't you think it's time you told her that maybe that cat doesn't like her and ask her why SHOULD tje cat like her - please list everything she has done to the cat.

grant-mcinnes avatar
I agree with you but...
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my doga bit a kid on the skull. Decent sized gashes. Was a heartbreaker because it was neither one's fault. The dog was laying sleeping and the kid tripped and fell on him. He yelped and ran off. But then the kid approached him to offer an apology, and I guess he still felt threatened. I'll never keep a gun. Hate them. Part of the reason why is that when the red mist descended after seeing that dog hurt a child, if I had a gun we'd have been burying that dog in the back 40. 10 minutes later sanity prevailed, but man it's scary to think what would have happened.

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Skylar Jaxx
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think deserve is the wrong word or to harsh she is 9 and can understand no don't do that. When u received consequences for your actions there all very much deserved. U don't earn what u don't deserve.

sue8260 avatar
Sue D
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sick and tired of these little human brats, pestering and bothering, and otherwise getting in the faces of these innocent animals. The innocent animal gets carted off to a shelter. And the brat doesn't get any blowback. Consequences! Let's see how the little human brat likes to be pestered needlessly.

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Marowynn
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any time my pre-k students insist on continuing to do something that we've told them will result in injury we don't feel bad when they inevitably get hurt. Now we don't outright tell them they deserved to get hurt for doing that but we will certainly say something about it not being a good choice and that's what can happen when you don't make good choices. These are 3-5 year olds and it usually takes just that one time for them to understand. Far younger than 9.

janethowe_1 avatar
Janet Howe
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This whole thing is ridiculous. Right now I'm getting angry about a situation that isn't even my own. Lol. This child seems to have little respect for authority or animals. Sure maybe it would help her to learn the warning signs when a cat is angry. BUT, even better, she could learn to do as she's told! Is there an undiagnosed emotional or mental problem with this girl? She's 9, old enough to understand directions, and old enough to learn how to treat an animal. She just doesn't care. A 3 yr old knows better. Her mother should be participating more to teach this child, rather than coddling. Really, who's the AH here? The kid. Mom's a close 2nd. Why is it so difficult for her to learn the correct way to treat an animal? Maybe the cat shouldn't be allowed to sleep on the girls bed. The girl is acting like she has "ownership" of the cat, and can do whatever she wants to it. Frankly, if that was my cat being mistreated, I'd move out.

apontious2121 avatar
Amy Pontious
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely agree with the OP and how she worded it! I remember I was 5 or six and I was messing with the family dog while it was eating and the dog bit me right above the eyebrow! My mom made sure I was ok and everything and then perceived to chew my butt out for messing with the dog while he was eating and I knew better which I did. So the nine year old niece was being a brat and hopefully this doesn't happen again!

natashaarruda avatar
Natasha Arruda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a niece who is now four and a nephew who is ten. The nephew isn't really into animals at all, beyond garter snakes now and then (it's just a small greeting generally before I relocate it to a place where my pets aren't likely to get hold of it). My niece is very into animals though and I have to explain things like this to her but we are very non reactive when things happen. "Oh, did he scratch you? He was trying to play and he doesn't know that he'd hurt you so if you try and play like that with him, you'll get scratched. If you don't mind, you can play but otherwise only use the cat stick toy or stay calm while petting him. Lets get a bandaid." That sort of thing.

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michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA sister is for calling you one when she has not done her job as a parent by teaching her to 1. Respect what the Aunt tells her and obey the rules 2. Respect the cat as a living creature and not a toy. Stop coddling kids, after numerous times of telling her her behavior with the cat is inappropriate and she continued to ignore, she did,indeed, deserve to be scratched. She’s 9, not 3, and understands. Now she understands consequences of her bratty behavior. Suck it up kiddo and mom.

denilla avatar
De Nilla
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My neighbor has many outdoor cats. They aren't fixed, and the one female is constantly pregnant. Oddly, no female kittens survive beyond 2 months old. Her son is about 3.5 years old. He picks up the kittens and punches them repeatedly, hits them with large, heavy rocks, kicks them full force in the face. A few months ago, 2 of the cats had their noses kicked in. I've of their noses was hanging off. There was puss blocking their nostril and if I hadn't cleaned it out, they probably would've suffocated. The mother stands by and watches, but says nothing. Some people have no consideration for animals at all

margaretchandler avatar
Margaret Chandler
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Scariest possibilty is cat scratching eye(s) while trying to get away...corneal damage or worse leading to permanent partial vision loss or worse?!

leasaymmoore avatar
LoonTunes
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of us have to learn for ourselves that the stove is hot. Short story: We were camping ( 3 couples) one couple in the group brought their Doberman Pincher ( Fatty Patty) One guy bothered that dog all weekend long. None of us said a word. When she had finally had enough she backed his a*s up. Problem solved.

gcs5017907 avatar
Doodles1983
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the ah. If it were a strangers dog and she did the same, the dog could get destroyed and her scratch could be much worse. She is old enough to learn boundaries and I imagine cat was pushed far before scratching her if he tolerates a lot already! She did deserve it. I’m not sure I would even rephrase it. How many times was she warned before that?!

techshure avatar
tech shure
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for the information you shared about 9Now Activation I appreciate your efforts and taking the time and sharing this content.

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Nykky
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kid started immediately trying to play with a creature again that harmed them. They got angry at the cat, not just upset it seems. If I was in the mother's shoes, I'd be getting that child checked out asap. That sounds like the start of a dark personality type, especially for so young. (There's many more psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists/etc around than you expect. They were just raised to treat others with respect and an understanding that there WILL be consequences to anything they may do. That's why not many of them turn out to be criminals.)

sherryo1950 avatar
Sherry Olson
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had old dogs when my daughter was born. The first thing I did was put her on a blanket on the floor and let them check her out. I knew they would never hurt her unless she annoyed them. And I kept telling her, "If the dog ever bites you, you will get spanked." When she was just walking, she'd want to play with the old McNabb/Shepherd. Lady would put up with it for a while and then move across the room. Baby would follow. I warned her to leave her alone. One day Lady decided she had enough. She turned on her, was just tall enough to come in right at eye level, and snapped and barked. Never touched her but scared the c**p out of her. Then walked across the room. "I told you." Daughter respected the dogs after that.

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Gerry Humphrey
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had an adult military retirement for adults ownly. Of course one couple brought 2 boys about 7 & 9. We put our 2 beagles and cat in the finished basement with their food, water and toys. Party was in our kichen, den and deck. The boys managed to sneak down into the basement. We heard sceaming and crying. The older boy insisted he had been bitten. Anyway the beagles liked kids but no being teased. One dog knew how to Pinch not bite. Gave the kid a pinch we thought without leaving a mark. Good Dog , Boys and parents learned some lessons.

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Cajun Affiliates
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter (18 mos) was at her sitter. Grabbed the sitter's cat by the belly. Got all scratched up. My poor sitter thought I was going to be angry. I told her that my daughter will likely never do that again. She's now 32, and has never repeated that mistake as far as I know. And she has cats of her own.

amberf0109 avatar
Amber.exe(She/They)
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA-If the nephew can understand,she can too.And as Op said in few of the comments she could've worded it better and I agree,but she was given warning after warning.I used to do the same thing and my warning was being poked in between my big toe and my other toe

jora84 avatar
Plutarch
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. YES. Y. E. S. So glad to hear about people who value their pets as high as I do.

victortrejo avatar
Victor Trejo
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't tell VICTIM that they deserve what happened to them. But I see no wrongdoing by telling a bratty kid that she deserved what she brought upon herself.

synthwolfe avatar
Nathan Wolfe
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We used to have cats and my daughter was similar (was around 4-5 though). My cat scratched her because she would grab his ears and yank. It was not deep, white marks and a single drop of blood. She was crying, and screaming. I comforted her, took care of the scratch, and when she had calmed enough to listen, I calmly told her "you hurt him. He hurt you to show you it hurts. Be nice." After that, she treated him well. Up until we had to put him down sadly...

boatswain_bill avatar
Boatswain Bill
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's with this whole "you should have phrased it better" nonsense? The little b***h got what she deserved, 100%, and needed to be told as much. Every once and again they need to be reminded they're bastards and eventually they'll come across someone who won't take their s**t.

isthebest2468 avatar
Geno Jackson
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, the aunt is both not the AITA, but also is. She could have been nicer with that instead of saying she deserves pain. But that neice was old enough to understand what she was being told

aidenschafer avatar
Aiden Schafer
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cats suck and op sounds like a crazy cat person. Euthanize it.

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Mimi M
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was frustrating to read. She won't get the cat a safe place to retreat to and won't tell the niece flat out not to pick up the cat...

ewa avatar
ewa
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lesson stands, obviously. But nobody "deserves" pain, not even a slightly egocentric 9 year old

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Austin Joseph
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11 months ago

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De Nilla
Community Member
11 months ago

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If you toss a normal, healthy cat, it will land on its feet. I don't get the "fragile" comment. And she most definitely is TA for saying that to a 9 year old. She is acting like a child herself, by basically saying "haha that's what you get" rather than explaining like an adult that this could happen.

marysmith_18 avatar
Stupid and Worthless
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because they will land on their feet doesn't mean the cat won't get hurt. My God, person, cats can get hurt from a minor fall, even a jump they make on their own. No, YOU are the AH for disrespecting an animal. Do this world a favor and not breed or have pets. You are clearly unsuited. The op HAD explained over and over to her bratty niece what would happen so go back, learn to read and stop eating your own toilet Snickers bars.

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John Smith (he/him/xy/️)
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11 months ago (edited)

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Good life lessons for once she enters dating age. Men won't be at her beck and call like that either.

marysmith_18 avatar
Stupid and Worthless
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As much as I disagree with your comment, I agree with it too. When she gets older, I don't think it will be her wanting the attention but her wanting men to respect her boundaries and her "no" or "stop". 9 is more than old enough to understand that concept and karma will be quite rude if she doesn't learn soon.

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jonathan doe
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11 months ago

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So people praise fur babies more then kids? people are like fu*k you, you deserve worse for treating an animal like an animal

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Abbelius
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And how would the girl "earn" praise in this particular situation, over an animal defending itself? "Fur baby" or not, you don't touch an animal that belongs to someone without asking, and you don't touch strays just because you "want to". The girl's mother is a nurse, I'm surprised she hasn't warned her daughter herself of the dangers of giving animals unsolicited affection. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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