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Violence is never a good idea, but sometimes—be it a kick, a slap, or a proper punch—it’s an instinct that kicks in when something unexpected happens.
For this redditor, the ‘something unexpected’ was a person undoing her top at a waterpark. The woman turned around and slapped the individual, resulting in both of them being asked out of the park and both sides threatening to press charges. Scroll down to find the full story below.
RELATED:
People usually associate waterparks with fun and games
Image credits: Armin Rimoldi / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But for this woman, a visit to the waterpark with her family quickly turned sour
Image credits: ImageSourceCur / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Old_Educator_3516
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Certain unexpected situations can evoke a ‘fight-or-flight’ response
The OP’s reaction to the person undoing her top split the netizens into camps. While one side believed she was right to defend herself against what some would consider sexual assault, others said she shouldn’t have responded with violence, especially in front of her daughter.
It goes without saying that presenting violence as the first or the only option is far from ideal when it comes to setting an example for small children. But in the redditor’s case, the slap might have been an instinct – a sudden and not that well thought-out reaction to a perceived threat.
According to Harvard Health Publishing, a stressful situation can cause a reaction in our bodies, known as a ‘fight-or-flight’ response, which allows us to either fight back or run to safety. Having evolved as a survival mechanism, it typically leads to a “carefully orchestrated yet near-instantaneous sequence of hormonal changes and physiological responses”, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or muscles tensing up.
While such an instinct likely evolved to help a person defend themselves from dangers such as animal attacks and similar hazards, it adjusted to modern-day life just like humans did: while we might no longer hunt in forests, we do—in a way—in grocery stores, and while the chances of being attacked by a bear in the city are close to none, the odds are not as favorable when it comes to facing muggers.
In addition to that, as pointed out by Harvard Health Publishing, the body can also overreact to certain non life-threatening stressors, such as traffic jams, work pressure, and family difficulties; or, in the OP’s case, naughty teenagers.
Image credits: Vera Arsic / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s crucial to respect other people’s boundaries
While a fight-or-flight response typically evokes a reaction in a matter of seconds, some netizens in the comments suggested that that’s no excuse for hitting a minor. They said that in situations like this, the best course of action is to take it up with the teenager’s parents or the administration of the water park.
Others, though, said that you have to defend yourself when someone tries touching—let alone, undressing—you without consent, which is something many parents try to instill in their children, especially daughters. It’s crucial that kids understand the meaning of boundaries, and respect them the same way they expect others to do, too.
According to a clinical psychologist, Dr. Stephanie Dowd, boundaries are essentially about understanding and respecting your own needs, as well as being respectful and understanding of the needs of others. “And for that to work, we need to be putting a big emphasis on helping kids develop greater empathy and self-awareness,” the expert pointed out for the Child Mind Institute.
Chances are, if the teenager was more aware of—or cared more about—others’ boundaries, the incident could have been avoided altogether. Yet since he likely didn’t think much about the consequences of his actions, in the words of fellow redditors, “he fooled around and found out”, consequently putting both the woman and his parents in the middle of it all.
Many redditors didn’t think the woman was in the wrong in the situation
Some, though, believed she shouldn’t have reacted the way that she did
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What do you think ?
jessica r 1 year ago
“Do you want to teach your daughter violence is an option?” WTF. Yes, in defending yourself violence is an option. Do you want to teach your daughter that women always have to be nice and friendly even when they are being harassed?
kissmychakram 1 year ago
Oh gosh yes, the fury I feel at this comment is rising to dangerous levels.
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Susie Elle 1 year ago
The YTA people are unhinged. Unless it's a child under ten accidentally grabbing the string, you're gonna get a fistful for trying to untie my f*****g clothes you absolute psycho.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Doing what that teen did was assault. Her response was self defense against that assault.
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Lost Penny 1 year ago
Ok, I get that a good deal of YTA commenters are trolls. However, not ALL of them are green & live under some bridge. There are people out there who really believe OP is TA. They walk among us and probably look like ordinary, normal people. I am scared...
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
They're probably adults who grew up thinking all the sexual assaults on girls in films like Porkys sixteen candles and Revenge of the Nerds were harmless pranks
Load More Replies...
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
"Do you really want to teach your daughter to use violence if someone trues to undress her without her consent?" If you think the answer is no seek help right now.
Marianne 1 year ago
This boy is at a crucial age where he will form his character and identity. On that day, he learned a valuable lesson: You can't undress a woman against her will and if you try, there will be consequences. It seems like his parents didn't care to teach him that, so he can be grateful for being taught otherwise. It will help him a lot in the long run.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
Yeah his parents are teaching him to be an incel and that violence against women is acceptable
Load More Replies...
StrangeOne 1 year ago
The YTA comments are wild. Definitely NTA. Either way, if one female nipple was exposed the mom could be charged with indecent exposure, and I have yet to hear of a boy being charged with sexual assault for undoing a swimsuit off a lady. Someone needed to teach those jerks a lesson. It certainly wouldn't be their parents.
CanadianDimes 1 year ago
“It’s your word against a child’s word”? Oh hėll no it’s not. It’s her word, that of two witnesses and security footage. The teen was old enough to know better and he got off pretty fůcking lightly. She should press charges.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
"Do you want to teach your daughter violence is an option?" Yes. That's what the spray on her keyring is for. Violence is always going to be an option for my daughter when people abuse her. She has a right to defend herself. As for the kid... what did he think was going to happen? What did his parents think was going to happen? I also have a son... if he grabbed someone's bathing suit strap, I'd be next in line to slap him. That's absolutely unacceptable.
sturmwesen 1 year ago (edited)
The husband smells fishy for thinking she overreacted. That's a whole different kind of can of worms.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Let’s see how he reacts when someone pulls his swim trunks off in the middle of a public pool.
Load More Replies...
BoredPossum 1 year ago
Difficult question. Yes, violence against a kid is not okay, illegal and the legislation vary from country to country. What's considered self-defence in America is considered assault in other countries. That being said, who knows what could have happened if you hadn't stopped it before it went further? I wouldn't take the chance. A 15-17 year old boy is often physically stronger than a 35 year old woman. The act of untying the bikini was an attack, maybe not physically, but an attack nonetheless and has to be treated that way. A slap is not damaging and a natural reaction to sexual harassment. I would have done the same.
Dill 1 year ago
We breakdown childhood though. It shouldn't be treated as one block. Infancy (28 days-12 months), toddler (13 months-2 years), early childhood (2-5 years), middle childhood (6-11 years) and adolescence (12-17 years). We expect different behaviours and understanding. We don't treat adolescents as children in every situation, most especially when a crime is committed. Age of criminal responsibility varies - In many countries it is 14 but can be as young as 10.
Load More Replies...
Display_Name 1 year ago
If her back was turned and all she felt was a hand untying her top then how would she know what age the perpetrator was before she slapped him? You untie my top when my back is turned then I am not checking your id before I react.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
The sexual predator teens are ash soles, and so is the "husband" and the water park. The woman is in the right, and she's teaching her daughter the proper message: NEVER TOLERATE SEXUAL ASSAULT. [ ............................. ] To any ash sole feebly attempting to defend this, what if it were the daughter's top? What if it were a gay man pulling the drawstring on the husband's shorts? Would any idiot "defend" either of those?
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
ViOlEnCe iS NoT tHe AnSwEr...the hell it is. I taught my daughter to never hit first but always defend herself. And l'm ready to slap the living hell out of anyone who tries to touch me or her inappropriately. Btw, minors are committing an awful lot of SA in my country and they're let go with a slap on the wrist (figuratively), because "they are children". F**k no. If you're old enough to rape you're old enough to go to prison.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Yes, you ARE going to teach a kid to not sexually assault you by slapping them, AHs ^^ And her daughter learned that it is not acceptable behaviour from the actual AH in this story.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
It's disgusting how the YTA people are calling the creep a "child" to make him sound innocent. The parents should have been screaming at HIM, not her.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago (edited)
Good god, the NTA's! These people actually think that because she is older, that she doesn't have the right to defend herself? WHY ARE PEOPLE ALWAYS EXPECTING THE VICTIM TO BE THE ONE PLACATING THE PERPETRATORS! She was the victim of a CRIME! I would be laying sexual assault charges against the little perv!
Sarah Matsoukis 1 year ago
A teenager of that age is not a child anymore, they need to know better. Husband should have punched him. This woman is surrounded by a******s.
Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
I would have slapped the ever living s**t out of him myself. His parents need to teach him that you do NOT touch women like that, trying to completely expose her upper half. The little jerk is lucky he didn't do it to somebody's daughter, he would have gotten way more than a simple slap. I read it to my son and he said he would beat the c**p out of him.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
Talk to a lawyer, but ifnit happened as described, press charges. You weren't the first ones they did this to, probably not the first ones that day. Defer to legal advice but the slap was self defence, if you don't at least file a report, the next time he does the same or escalates, it will be harder to prove. Get this on record.
stephen nickerson 1 year ago
People have a right to defend themselves from assault. If you can’t be bothered to teach your children respect others then someone else will. The women set an excellent example to her daughter that only you can keep you safe! The husband should’ve gone full ape and beat that kid and his parents.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 1 year ago
I hope the kid's parents sue. That way there will be an official court record of the sexual assault for their son to be formally charged. Since the victim has to pay for a lawyer anyway, she can countersue for damages and lawyer fees.
dollh h 1 year ago
BP has a lot of nerve, even entertaining the idea that the woman shouldn't have reacted as she did. She was sexually assaulted. She defended herself. What was she supposed to do, ask for his driver's license to prove age? It's never ok to sexually assault someone. Bored Panda should never have posted this.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
I'd be asking Dear Hubby: "So, you'd be ok with some teenage girl pantsing you at the waterpark? Same thing as that kid untying my top." There is *nothing* going too far to defend yourself against SA, male, female, all of us.
Jerome Lenovo 1 year ago
poor kid can't do whatever he wants ... thats so unfair .... he gonna make a video where he victimises himself
Madeleine Rose 1 year ago
This woman's HUSBAND thinks she overreacted?!! My husband would have punched that punk's lights out and then called the police himself! Woman needs to ditch the subhuman piece of garbage she married!
Michelle C 1 year ago
Had that happen to me at the beach...my friends 15yo was pulling on the stings of the bikini tops of the other girls in the group thinking it was funny and when he was sneaking around my person I was quick to tell him I don't play those games. His stepfather even warned him that I wasn't the one to mess with. Eventually I went into the water and wading around talking to a friend he decided to sneak up behind me, jump on my back, and fully undo my top. I was pissed and with my top in my hand I started making my way out the water and he's following me laughing. I turned around so quick, snatched his a*s and slammed him into the ocean bare breasted and all. Ruined his day and all his parents said was that they told him not to mess around with me. From that day on he was respectful to me, he may have been a lil s**t to other people, but he minded his P's & Q's whenever I visited or went out with them.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
"Not the one to mess with" though? Then who is bc apparently it's perfectly fine to mess with someone, just not you? Also, don't underestimate you probably gave him a grand spank bank memory which was probably the intention. He's "respectful" to you bc he's got a dominatrix thing about you now. Don't be surprised when he professes his love for you later.
Load More Replies...
Tori Skidori 1 year ago
Her only mistakes were not using a closed fist and not having him charged for sexual assault. Just because she defended herself doesn't mean his actions are excused.
Gregory Mead 1 year ago
At least one person here mentioned that it's unlikely that this is the first time the teen has done this. It would have been interesting to go over ALL of the security tape and see how often this kid had assaulted OTHER women and girls at this water park.
Richard Jung 1 year ago
File the sexual assault charges immediately. The slap was just a natural self defense measure.
sharyn turnicky 1 year ago
You were being sexually assaulted. Going to Court could result in ds having a record. A slap was a very very mild response. A knee to the family jewels would have been the correct one for me. If ds acts like this in public, what does he do, and to who, in private?
Steve Robert 1 year ago
"For every action, there's a reaction". Sir Issac Newton Or as they say today: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Aiden Brough 1 year ago
If that would have been my wife I'd have held the little sod and told her to slap some stupid out of him or some sense into him, and thank his luck stars it wasn't me doing it. Never mind all this "Violence" BS, what about his poor action leading to a re-action? What was he expecting? A clap?
MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago (edited)
In the moment, I'm sure she didn't think to ask him his age before slapping him. NTA at all!
Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her) 1 year ago
F*ck the husband for not clocking him into next year!
Samuel Pelatan 1 year ago
Just imagine the court official who spent his life studying the law to end up judging a slap. A slap ffs.
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
She should still talk to the police even if the parents don't go for assault because those boys need to learn that that sort of behavior is criminal. They won't stop unless the fear of god/police is put in them. It's predatory behavior they are displaying, it's not ok at any level
Kerry Fletcher 1 year ago
Grab his d**k with all your might and say want me to pull to? Now go away.
Joey Marlin 1 year ago
The courts absolutely would... they'll also take into account that this 'child' is an adolescent, not a young or 'middle' child (classification before adolescence). The age of a minor matters and courts recognise this with age of criminal responsibility.
Load More Replies... jessica r 1 year ago
“Do you want to teach your daughter violence is an option?” WTF. Yes, in defending yourself violence is an option. Do you want to teach your daughter that women always have to be nice and friendly even when they are being harassed?
kissmychakram 1 year ago
Oh gosh yes, the fury I feel at this comment is rising to dangerous levels.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 1 year ago
The YTA people are unhinged. Unless it's a child under ten accidentally grabbing the string, you're gonna get a fistful for trying to untie my f*****g clothes you absolute psycho.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Doing what that teen did was assault. Her response was self defense against that assault.
Load More Replies... Lost Penny 1 year ago
Ok, I get that a good deal of YTA commenters are trolls. However, not ALL of them are green & live under some bridge. There are people out there who really believe OP is TA. They walk among us and probably look like ordinary, normal people. I am scared...
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
They're probably adults who grew up thinking all the sexual assaults on girls in films like Porkys sixteen candles and Revenge of the Nerds were harmless pranks
Load More Replies... FluffyDreg 1 year ago
"Do you really want to teach your daughter to use violence if someone trues to undress her without her consent?" If you think the answer is no seek help right now.
Marianne 1 year ago
This boy is at a crucial age where he will form his character and identity. On that day, he learned a valuable lesson: You can't undress a woman against her will and if you try, there will be consequences. It seems like his parents didn't care to teach him that, so he can be grateful for being taught otherwise. It will help him a lot in the long run.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
Yeah his parents are teaching him to be an incel and that violence against women is acceptable
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 1 year ago
The YTA comments are wild. Definitely NTA. Either way, if one female nipple was exposed the mom could be charged with indecent exposure, and I have yet to hear of a boy being charged with sexual assault for undoing a swimsuit off a lady. Someone needed to teach those jerks a lesson. It certainly wouldn't be their parents.
CanadianDimes 1 year ago
“It’s your word against a child’s word”? Oh hėll no it’s not. It’s her word, that of two witnesses and security footage. The teen was old enough to know better and he got off pretty fůcking lightly. She should press charges.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
"Do you want to teach your daughter violence is an option?" Yes. That's what the spray on her keyring is for. Violence is always going to be an option for my daughter when people abuse her. She has a right to defend herself. As for the kid... what did he think was going to happen? What did his parents think was going to happen? I also have a son... if he grabbed someone's bathing suit strap, I'd be next in line to slap him. That's absolutely unacceptable.
sturmwesen 1 year ago (edited)
The husband smells fishy for thinking she overreacted. That's a whole different kind of can of worms.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Let’s see how he reacts when someone pulls his swim trunks off in the middle of a public pool.
Load More Replies... BoredPossum 1 year ago
Difficult question. Yes, violence against a kid is not okay, illegal and the legislation vary from country to country. What's considered self-defence in America is considered assault in other countries. That being said, who knows what could have happened if you hadn't stopped it before it went further? I wouldn't take the chance. A 15-17 year old boy is often physically stronger than a 35 year old woman. The act of untying the bikini was an attack, maybe not physically, but an attack nonetheless and has to be treated that way. A slap is not damaging and a natural reaction to sexual harassment. I would have done the same.
Dill 1 year ago
We breakdown childhood though. It shouldn't be treated as one block. Infancy (28 days-12 months), toddler (13 months-2 years), early childhood (2-5 years), middle childhood (6-11 years) and adolescence (12-17 years). We expect different behaviours and understanding. We don't treat adolescents as children in every situation, most especially when a crime is committed. Age of criminal responsibility varies - In many countries it is 14 but can be as young as 10.
Load More Replies... Display_Name 1 year ago
If her back was turned and all she felt was a hand untying her top then how would she know what age the perpetrator was before she slapped him? You untie my top when my back is turned then I am not checking your id before I react.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
The sexual predator teens are ash soles, and so is the "husband" and the water park. The woman is in the right, and she's teaching her daughter the proper message: NEVER TOLERATE SEXUAL ASSAULT. [ ............................. ] To any ash sole feebly attempting to defend this, what if it were the daughter's top? What if it were a gay man pulling the drawstring on the husband's shorts? Would any idiot "defend" either of those?
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
ViOlEnCe iS NoT tHe AnSwEr...the hell it is. I taught my daughter to never hit first but always defend herself. And l'm ready to slap the living hell out of anyone who tries to touch me or her inappropriately. Btw, minors are committing an awful lot of SA in my country and they're let go with a slap on the wrist (figuratively), because "they are children". F**k no. If you're old enough to rape you're old enough to go to prison.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Yes, you ARE going to teach a kid to not sexually assault you by slapping them, AHs ^^ And her daughter learned that it is not acceptable behaviour from the actual AH in this story.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
It's disgusting how the YTA people are calling the creep a "child" to make him sound innocent. The parents should have been screaming at HIM, not her.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago (edited)
Good god, the NTA's! These people actually think that because she is older, that she doesn't have the right to defend herself? WHY ARE PEOPLE ALWAYS EXPECTING THE VICTIM TO BE THE ONE PLACATING THE PERPETRATORS! She was the victim of a CRIME! I would be laying sexual assault charges against the little perv!
Sarah Matsoukis 1 year ago
A teenager of that age is not a child anymore, they need to know better. Husband should have punched him. This woman is surrounded by a******s.
Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
I would have slapped the ever living s**t out of him myself. His parents need to teach him that you do NOT touch women like that, trying to completely expose her upper half. The little jerk is lucky he didn't do it to somebody's daughter, he would have gotten way more than a simple slap. I read it to my son and he said he would beat the c**p out of him.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
Talk to a lawyer, but ifnit happened as described, press charges. You weren't the first ones they did this to, probably not the first ones that day. Defer to legal advice but the slap was self defence, if you don't at least file a report, the next time he does the same or escalates, it will be harder to prove. Get this on record.
stephen nickerson 1 year ago
People have a right to defend themselves from assault. If you can’t be bothered to teach your children respect others then someone else will. The women set an excellent example to her daughter that only you can keep you safe! The husband should’ve gone full ape and beat that kid and his parents.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 1 year ago
I hope the kid's parents sue. That way there will be an official court record of the sexual assault for their son to be formally charged. Since the victim has to pay for a lawyer anyway, she can countersue for damages and lawyer fees.
dollh h 1 year ago
BP has a lot of nerve, even entertaining the idea that the woman shouldn't have reacted as she did. She was sexually assaulted. She defended herself. What was she supposed to do, ask for his driver's license to prove age? It's never ok to sexually assault someone. Bored Panda should never have posted this.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
I'd be asking Dear Hubby: "So, you'd be ok with some teenage girl pantsing you at the waterpark? Same thing as that kid untying my top." There is *nothing* going too far to defend yourself against SA, male, female, all of us.
Jerome Lenovo 1 year ago
poor kid can't do whatever he wants ... thats so unfair .... he gonna make a video where he victimises himself
Madeleine Rose 1 year ago
This woman's HUSBAND thinks she overreacted?!! My husband would have punched that punk's lights out and then called the police himself! Woman needs to ditch the subhuman piece of garbage she married!
Michelle C 1 year ago
Had that happen to me at the beach...my friends 15yo was pulling on the stings of the bikini tops of the other girls in the group thinking it was funny and when he was sneaking around my person I was quick to tell him I don't play those games. His stepfather even warned him that I wasn't the one to mess with. Eventually I went into the water and wading around talking to a friend he decided to sneak up behind me, jump on my back, and fully undo my top. I was pissed and with my top in my hand I started making my way out the water and he's following me laughing. I turned around so quick, snatched his a*s and slammed him into the ocean bare breasted and all. Ruined his day and all his parents said was that they told him not to mess around with me. From that day on he was respectful to me, he may have been a lil s**t to other people, but he minded his P's & Q's whenever I visited or went out with them.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
"Not the one to mess with" though? Then who is bc apparently it's perfectly fine to mess with someone, just not you? Also, don't underestimate you probably gave him a grand spank bank memory which was probably the intention. He's "respectful" to you bc he's got a dominatrix thing about you now. Don't be surprised when he professes his love for you later.
Load More Replies... Tori Skidori 1 year ago
Her only mistakes were not using a closed fist and not having him charged for sexual assault. Just because she defended herself doesn't mean his actions are excused.
Gregory Mead 1 year ago
At least one person here mentioned that it's unlikely that this is the first time the teen has done this. It would have been interesting to go over ALL of the security tape and see how often this kid had assaulted OTHER women and girls at this water park.
Richard Jung 1 year ago
File the sexual assault charges immediately. The slap was just a natural self defense measure.
sharyn turnicky 1 year ago
You were being sexually assaulted. Going to Court could result in ds having a record. A slap was a very very mild response. A knee to the family jewels would have been the correct one for me. If ds acts like this in public, what does he do, and to who, in private?
Steve Robert 1 year ago
"For every action, there's a reaction". Sir Issac Newton Or as they say today: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Aiden Brough 1 year ago
If that would have been my wife I'd have held the little sod and told her to slap some stupid out of him or some sense into him, and thank his luck stars it wasn't me doing it. Never mind all this "Violence" BS, what about his poor action leading to a re-action? What was he expecting? A clap?
MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago (edited)
In the moment, I'm sure she didn't think to ask him his age before slapping him. NTA at all!
Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her) 1 year ago
F*ck the husband for not clocking him into next year!
Samuel Pelatan 1 year ago
Just imagine the court official who spent his life studying the law to end up judging a slap. A slap ffs.
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
She should still talk to the police even if the parents don't go for assault because those boys need to learn that that sort of behavior is criminal. They won't stop unless the fear of god/police is put in them. It's predatory behavior they are displaying, it's not ok at any level
Kerry Fletcher 1 year ago
Grab his d**k with all your might and say want me to pull to? Now go away.
Joey Marlin 1 year ago
The courts absolutely would... they'll also take into account that this 'child' is an adolescent, not a young or 'middle' child (classification before adolescence). The age of a minor matters and courts recognise this with age of criminal responsibility.
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