Couple Offers To Let Homeless Friend Stay With Them, Didn’t See Her Audacity And Entitlement Coming

Helping out a friend who lost their housing due to unemployment is a very good and noble thing to do. So letting someone just stay on your couch or in your extra bedroom is a time-honored tradition. Unfortunately, some folks out there are perfectly willing to abuse someone’s hospitality even when they are ostensibly friends.

A woman turned to the internet for advice on what to do with a friend she let crash in her spare room and who now refuses to follow any rules or leave. We reached out to the woman who made the post via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

Houseguests who overstay their welcome are pretty annoying

Woman in casual wear sits on bed, petting a cat, contemplating a temporary stay becoming long-term.

Image credits: Andrej Lišakov (not the actual photo)

But one woman was at a loss for what to do about a friend who had been with them for months

Friend's lodging situation becomes difficult, text discussing the challenges of hosting a guest longer than expected.

Text about a woman's temporary stay arrangement causing issues with pets and rent.

Text discussing a woman’s temporary stay at a friend's place, storing belongings elsewhere while she gets back on her feet.

Text discussing arrangements for a cat to stay in a dining room with garden access.

Text describing a woman who moved in temporarily but stayed much longer due to job loss and storage issues.

Moving boxes labeled "Bedroom" and "Kitchen" stacked on wooden floor, relating to temporary stay situation.

Image credits: Faruk Tokluoğlu (not the actual photo)

Text about a woman resisting placing the cat downstairs, suggesting a shelf outside for easy access.

Text describing a friend's concerns about letting a woman stay longer than planned.

Text describing a woman's extended stay, causing issues with cleaning and her cat disturbing neighbors.

Text about a house guest causing damage, with ink spills on the carpet and wall damage from posters.

Text discussing frustration over a woman's extended stay and request for a rent contract to claim benefits.

Text about a woman’s extended stay causing a dilemma, mentions refusal to engage in potential fraud.

Text excerpt about a woman’s prolonged stay causing issues with her friend.

Text discussing informing a woman about needing the spare room back, mentioning issues with a stressed cat.

Text explaining rising bills due to guest's long stay, frequent heater use, and two-hour baths.

Text discussing a woman's refusal to seek housing support and her friend's dilemma about her extended stay.

Woman sitting on a couch in a dark hoodie, knees drawn up, looking thoughtful in a dimly lit room.

Image credits: Daniel Martinez (not the actual photo)

Text discussing the fairness of asking a long-term guest to move out, raising financial and emotional concerns.

Image source: sausagedogmumm

Taking care of your guests is a longstanding human tradition

Woman in a red sweater chats with friends in a cozy room, holding a takeaway box, discussing stop gap stay.

Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova (not the actual photo)

Humans have long had a pretty long history of understanding that sometimes you need to spend the night under someone else’s roof. Sometimes you are just far away from your place, maybe you are a refugee or, as in this story, you might just be homeless for one reason or another.

This is likely the reason humans have widespread and often pretty intense “guest rules”. This isn’t just a conceit from Game of Thrones (or, “A Song of Ice and Fire”, if we are being pedantic) it’s a real part of many hospitality cultures. The logic is pretty simple, helping others means that you can expect help in the future when you need it.

Everyone from Immanuel Kant to Abrahamic religious scholars have pointed out that “guest rights” are a pretty important building block of civilization. After all, what is a society or nation if not people who aren’t your family members? If you don’t have a structure to care for them, the family remains the largest possible “unit”.

This is all to say that the couple taking in their friend are participating in millennia old traditions and should not be faulted for their generosity. Setting aside all the high-minded philosophy, what is the point of having friends who refuse to help out when you are in trouble? Naturally, if you believe that, then you would also help your own community when needed, otherwise you would simply be a hypocrite.

But guests can easily overstay their welcome

Two friends sitting on a couch, drinking coffee, and discussing the challenge of a prolonged stay.

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)

However, there have to be some limits, this houseguest seemed to have ground her life to a halt. It can be hard to pick yourself out of a slump, but, arguably, she had it better than most. She was not homeless and got to keep her stuff, her pets and was given time to search for a job. There are landlords who won’t take pets even when you are literally willing to pay for it, so best to not disrespect a forgiving host.

The real “kicker” is her threatening self-harm when given six weeks to move out. This goes beyond unreasonable and is downright manipulative and evil. If one was to do this in a relationship, it would be considered domestic abuse. Doing this to one’s hosts is both shortsighted and really reflects poorly on her.

It’s already monumentally easy to overstay one’s welcome, as the old American saying goes “fish and visitors stink in three days”. So if someone is willing to put up with you and your pet, you should be on your best behavior. The fact that the host has to ask the internet if she is “unreasonable” points to the fact that her friend is just manipulative.

In other words, she would not be unreasonable to turn six weeks into six days now. Regardless, if that is extreme, she should at least be very firm about this. Six weeks, not a day more. Threatening to harm herself and just using her friend’s resources is bad enough. While she hasn’t exactly destroyed anything, enough is enough.

Most folks thought she was not being at all unreasonable

Text advising a person to set boundaries with a friend staying long-term, suggesting the friend should move out.

Reddit comment discussing a woman's extended stay, mentioning manipulation and mental health concerns.

Opinion shared about woman's prolonged stay and its impact on mental health and emotional blackmail.

Text message expressing frustration about a woman's extended stay being problematic.

Text message discussing kicking out a long-term house guest.

Text screenshot about a woman's lengthy stay and friends considering her self-absorbed.

Text suggesting to provide written notice for accommodation issues regarding a woman overstaying.

Comment discussing job loss and dependency in a situation where a woman's temporary stay extended.

Text from a friend advising on boundaries after a woman’s extended stay, suggesting it’s time to ask her to leave.

Text exchange about a woman's long stay and a friend's dilemma about asking her to leave.

Text excerpt about a woman's prolonged stay causing issues with rent and eviction concerns.

Text screenshot addressing the issue of a guest overstaying and being a freeloader.

“Comment discussing a stay becoming prolonged and a friend wanting to end the arrangement.”

Text comment about dropping a cat off at a shelter, mentioned by *DaringlyPurple*.

Text from forum discussing friend overstaying stay, considering eviction.

Text discussing a woman's extended stay in a friend's home, addressing boundaries and housing responsibility.

Text sharing a story about a woman’s messy house guest experience, discussing dirty dishes and open food containers.

Text describing a woman's long stay and a friend's dilemma hosting her.

Text about a husband’s affair and supportive friend who stayed as a houseguest, highlighting emotions and circumstances.

A few shared similar stories

Text advice on eviction, suggesting legal rights to remove a woman staying without a contract.

Text discussing the manipulative nature of threats, part of a conversation about a woman's prolonged stay at a friend's place.

Forum post discussing emotional blackmail and the impact of overstaying one's welcome.

Comment discussing eviction timeline for woman staying too long.

Text discusses preparing for difficult situations and maintaining strength in the face of challenges involving a guest.

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