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Bride Wants To Upgrade Her Honeymoon At Bridesmaid’s Expense, Gets A Reality Check
Having each other’s backs during times of need is one of the cornerstones of a good friendship. However, that does not give anyone the license to take advantage of the person who will be there for you, regardless of the circumstances.
A bride didn’t seem to understand this concept when she asked her childhood friend and bridesmaid to bake her wedding cake. With the total amount costing around $800, she wanted to pay a meager $150.
The ludicrous request didn’t sit well with her friend, whose husband urged her to skip the wedding altogether.
RELATED:
Some people seem willing to take advantage of their friends for their own gain
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman shared her story of how her friend tried to lowball her into making a wedding cake
Image credits: Wedding cake / freepik (not the actual photo)
With the original price being $800, the bride wanted to pay a mere $150
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
The disagreement created some division within the bridal party
The author provided a breakdown of her expenses
Image credits: CakesNGames90
A sense of entitlement can be an expression of grievances and frustration
Many people would be quick to jump to conclusions and accuse the bride of being entitled. However, her behavior may be a result of pent-up frustrations and grievances.
According to psychotherapist and psychoanalyst F. Diane Barth, a person may act entitled as a result of mistreatment or not getting what they need.
“It can be a way of saying, ‘I deserve to be taken care of, or treated with compassion and respect, just as much as anyone else does,’” Barth wrote, adding that their behavior could be a “shift towards self-respect.”
The bride may have been feeling the pressure as her wedding day approaches, along with the financial burden of her bills racking up. However, it does not excuse her to make such a ridiculous request in the name of friendship.
An even uglier scenario would be that the bride could be taking advantage of her friend blatantly, given their closeness. According to journalist, entrepreneur, and former Johns Hopkins Carey Business School professor Bruce Y. Lee, refusing to respect boundaries and trying to make a person feel bad for setting them are tell-tale signs.
Most experts would always advise establishing these strict boundaries and declining unrealistic demands. In some cases, it may be necessary to set limits, even in close friendships.
The woman had the right to say no, given the amount she was offered for the effort she would need to put in. She may need to speak with the bride and work out a reasonable compromise. But if that doesn’t work, she may be better off following her husband’s advice and skipping the wedding.
The author also answered some questions
Most commenters sided with the author and her husband
However, some thought she was being unreasonable
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What do you think ?
Kathy Brooke 3 months ago
And we're back again to "because you're my friend I don't value your time". Knit, sew, bake... whatever. Nobody is willing to pay even minimum wage for a friend's time. Very odd definition of "friend". My friends' time is MORE valuable because it comes with love. And I never, ever make anything to order.
Vinnie 3 months ago (edited)
My wedding photographer was a friend and I paid the usual price (I may have gotten a small discount or a little extra work). She's a professional, so why not treat her as one?
Load More Replies...
Littlemiss 3 months ago
The yta obviously have never baked anything, let alone done a decent job of it. The OP broke down costs and for what was asked it was fair and reasonable. I know of someone who was a bridezilla and asked for a cake for their wedding from their SIL. It ended up costing SIL $800 + and the bride was disgustingly ungrateful.
The Other Guest 3 months ago
I think the popularity of baking shows gives people an unrealistic expectation in regards to the time & labor involved in making a complex, high-quality wedding cake. Sure, it's possible to whip up a cake in 2-1/2 adreneline-soaked hours - but how often have those cakes ended in disaster? Are they sturdy enough to survive being transported to a venue while still having a pleasant texture & taste? Will the decorations still be in place when it arrives? Plus there's the cost of ingredients, which are covered by the production company on TV but certainly wouldn't be in this case.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidThat 3 months ago
Do some women actually stick their head up their a**e immediately after putting a ring on their finger?
Antoinette the Red 3 months ago (edited)
Didn't you know that you become the most important person on the planet when you get engaged?
Load More Replies... Kathy Brooke 3 months ago
And we're back again to "because you're my friend I don't value your time". Knit, sew, bake... whatever. Nobody is willing to pay even minimum wage for a friend's time. Very odd definition of "friend". My friends' time is MORE valuable because it comes with love. And I never, ever make anything to order.
Vinnie 3 months ago (edited)
My wedding photographer was a friend and I paid the usual price (I may have gotten a small discount or a little extra work). She's a professional, so why not treat her as one?
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 3 months ago
The yta obviously have never baked anything, let alone done a decent job of it. The OP broke down costs and for what was asked it was fair and reasonable. I know of someone who was a bridezilla and asked for a cake for their wedding from their SIL. It ended up costing SIL $800 + and the bride was disgustingly ungrateful.
The Other Guest 3 months ago
I think the popularity of baking shows gives people an unrealistic expectation in regards to the time & labor involved in making a complex, high-quality wedding cake. Sure, it's possible to whip up a cake in 2-1/2 adreneline-soaked hours - but how often have those cakes ended in disaster? Are they sturdy enough to survive being transported to a venue while still having a pleasant texture & taste? Will the decorations still be in place when it arrives? Plus there's the cost of ingredients, which are covered by the production company on TV but certainly wouldn't be in this case.
Load More Replies... KatSaidThat 3 months ago
Do some women actually stick their head up their a**e immediately after putting a ring on their finger?
Antoinette the Red 3 months ago (edited)
Didn't you know that you become the most important person on the planet when you get engaged?
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