Teenager Spends Loads Of Time Making His Aunt’s Wedding Dress Worth $22k-$25k For Free, She Doesn’t Even Invite Him
For better or for worse, wedding ceremonies can seem like a monumental event where everything has to be ideal, as, hopefully, you only ever have one wedding. The decorations, flowers, venue, weather, and, of course, the dress has to all be just perfect.
Recently a person asked the internet if he was in the wrong for refusing to hand over a wedding dress to his bride-to-be sister. The dress was handmade over half a year by his son with frequent input from his sister. Problems arose when she sent out wedding invitations – and he wasn’t invited.
Weddings, like any major event, require planning, good taste, sense, and a lot of patience
Image credits: Lobachad (not the actual photo)
When his sister asked if her brother’s son could make her wedding dress, all parties thought it would be a great idea
The son was a skilled tailor and worked for months to make something beautiful
Image credits: metod_ma (not the actual photo)_
But when the invitations began coming in, his son received a nasty surprise
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
Credits: ThrowAway5291926
Wedding parties sometimes go overboard with all the things they request and demand
Image credits: mstandret (not the actual photo)
The perceived pressures and stress of organizing a wedding can lead to comical moments, at least for those of us who can view from a safe distance. We reached out to the wedding planning team at Lisa Pleasant Events to ask about what sort of things the wedding party will start to demand and organizers are forced to go along with. Some examples included “requesting FILTERED water from the catering water station for her 4 pound, half blind, half deaf, 10-year-old toy poodle (then proceeded to cause an absolute scene & had a meltdown when her dog’s bowl was filled with tap water)” and “requesting ‘BETTER adult chicken tenders’? Not sure what that even meant (she cried for a solid 5 minutes).”
Sometimes the stress of planning creates a bond with the planner, leading to other comical issues. “I have had other bizarre requests like when a mother surprised me by bringing an entire U-Haul full of furniture and expected me to set it up (with a broken foot). I had one very drunk bride (now a friend) who asked me to sing ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ while she threw up in the bathroom. (Yes, I obliged.) One of my former planners had a bride who expected her to go on her morning jog with her so that she was by her side the entire day. So many fun stories. I actually started naming clauses in my contract that I never thought I would have to specify after the clients who made them necessary. It always gets a laugh out of people, but still warns them ‘please do not become a clause.’”
The costs and stress of the event can make people shortsighted and downright unbearable
Image credits: nualaimages (not the actual photo)
The actual price of the dress in the story was considerable, so it is shocking that the sister would be so stubborn. The average American wedding still costs $38,700, explaining some of the stress. After all, If I spent that much money on a single event, I would also want it to be completely perfect. In general, Americans spend about $72 billion annually on weddings. Add in the constant socialization, possible pressure from in-laws, and general difficulty of organizing people and you get a recipe for a mental health disaster.
This in no way excuses the sister’s behavior; after all, her nephew was doing the entire project for free and being perfectly cooperative. Having to collaborate with a committed volunteer seems like a dream scenario, but some people are so conceited, they will throw away such an opportunity instead of admitting their own shortcomings. After all, if her, at this point, pretty annoyed own family is valuing the dress at around $20-25 thousand, and it took five months of work, it seems unlikely that she is going to get a better deal anywhere else.
Some commenters asked for more details while others gave some suggestions for how OP could proceed
But most agreed, he was NTA for sticking up for his son
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NTA. Far from it, you are standing up for your son and your sister is letting her nephew down. The underage and alcohol aspect has little to do with it. Instead, your sister is siding with her partner's homophobia, or just dislike, for your son. This dislike won't change when he grows up either. You haven't actually said that your son is gay so everyone could be wrong about that. But your BIL to be has probably just assumed this because he's a boy who likes dressmaking. So good for you, for standing up for your son and being the proud dad.
For this extremely talented budding designer, that means about $25,000.00.
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"Because alcohol would be served"? Riiiiiiiiiight. 🤨 I'll bet you dollars to peanuts that the REAL reason she didn't want her nephew at the wedding was because she could lie about who made her dress (Vera W**g, Georgio Armani, whoever). Then, after the wedding, sell it for a profit. Just my thoughts......
I’m sure too. She wanted to use her own nephew. Shame on her.
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The only logical rationale I can find in this is that homophobia is influencing the bride. Whether it’s from her fiancé directly, concern for what his Christian family/friends may think, or some other issue with who the dressmaker is. Most likely it’s his queerness and not his near-adulthood age. - I’m obvious gay. Not completely Nathan Lane in The Birdcage swishy, but even broken gaydar works on me. My cousin married a conservative Christian whose family judged them for living together beforehand. They didn’t have a ton of $ for wedding, so I helped fund it. I comped them 14 rooms (immediate family owned hotel), hooked them up with a free venue, discounted catering, flowers photography & planning (all industry trades I made at my expense) & since it was a destination wedding, got them chartered air travel for most and used miles for the 3 people who couldn’t afford the flights. I even planned communal meals & scheduled activities & tours for their guests over a 5-day trip for…
22 people. The goal was to make it affordable. It was less than $1000 in total for each person in her party to travel from east coast to Hawaii for 5 days. The day before arrival, she mentioned that I must be ready to take a vacation from all the hard work I put in. She ran circles subtly trying to say I wasn’t a guest. I forced her to outright say so. She’s always been cool with me & has lots of gay friends. She admitted it was her fiancé & his family that wouldn’t attend with queers (‘me & my husband & probably half the staff dealing with their event). I told my aunt & uncle that I wasn’t invited and why. My aunt told her they were backing out & her father wouldn’t be there to give her away. Then she blasted her own daughter on Facebook, tagging family and all her gay friends. The morning they departed she messaged me an apology, reinviting me & husband. When they landed the first thing she did was give us an actual invitation card. The event was fine, but we’re no longer close.
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I can't see this ending well. Even if the almost-adult is finally invited, I imagine it would be a bit tense at the wedding. Some people have rocks in their brains, but I totally see the "very Christian" husband-to-be being against the gay son (if that's the case as OP hinted) at his wedding. It's unfortunately par for the course with some Christians. Because Jesus famously kicked everyone he didn't like to the curb.
Yup, love thy neighbour - unless they happen to be gay/trans/black/Asian/Muslim etc. Bugs my happiness
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Stunned that a young talented man who devoted time and effort with love and care can't see it worn with the love and appreciation it deserves. Grr just people, they make my head itch
i would be wearing that most fantastic dress and every single guest and everywhere on social media would be hearing that it was made by my "little nephew who is a fashion designer" tag tag tag! If this story really happened i wouldnt want her near my son either.
She doesn't want him to get attention for making the beautiful dress and taking away from her day. That's the main issue. Number two is the future husband being a homophobe even if your son isn't "gay". I think it's very rude of her not to bite one an give the invite to him. And he's a young man not a child who would prob honestly get bored at the reception half way through and want to sneak out. But it should be up to him. And since you are the parent if she doesn't pay up it's not a free dress with free labor. You did right sending an invoice. I hope you have a lovely day home relaxing while she zillas out about you not being there and actually making her say about you and you son and the mystery dress everyone will be talking about. Post some photos on fb having a party with the dress the day of the wedding. A tea party. Pizza party. Watching movies. Dress had a great time. Without her. And with your sons love that made it so special.
Thing is, if she makes sure everyone knows who made her dress, it will not only shine a lovely light on the kid, but also on her for being fair, kind, and generous enough to take some time from her day to give credit where credit is due. I know I would not only think the kid is a genius, but also that the bride is that rarity these days; a truly nice person and not a Bridezilla.
Load More Replies... First off, in a few months he’ll be 18 and the point will become moot—-what I’m saying is he’s close enough to legal adulthood (in the US) to be invited, if his age was the only issue, ffs. Second, if I had a nephew who could design and make me a $25,000.00 wedding dress for FREE, I would not only invite him to the wedding, I would pay for the dress, make sure everyone knows who designed and made my dress, and either get him a really nice gift, or pay at least his first semester, maybe two if I can afford it, at any top fashion school he will obviously be able to get into. I’d probably also make sure pictures of the dress are all over the internet so some key people in the fashion industry could maybe see it and see how talented he is (attention any lawyers reading this: to avoid another designer stealing his work from the pictures on sites I upload them to, is there a way to copyright the pictures?).
I thought the same thing, Kathryn! If I had the chance, I would be so proud of him for making the dress, I would do everything I can to show it to the world. Also, for the Christian -gay discussion - my brother was gay when me and my husband (both Christians) got married. I have never ever thought of not inviting him.
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The question about the wedding is not about the dress or the son. The only question about the wedding is who should throw the pie in the bride's face as she walks up the aisle.
I get that he's a kid, but omg, don't agree with a commission like that unless you have written down who pays for what. And don't give out your labor for free on such a massive project, no matter how much you love it!
Yeah. I think they trusted family to treat them with the love and respect they deserve. But most of us know the hard way that it is often family who can be the vipers.
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What strikes me, in addition to the unacceptable behavior of the bride, is the absurd excuse that alcohol will be served at the wedding and therefore no minors will be invited... But my goodness, in any Italian wedding, for example, alcohol is served, but no one would never dream of not inviting minors! Simply, the children don't drink any alcohol, and the older kids maybe taste the sparkling wine or drink water or soft drinks, all without any problem. What is described in this post seems crazy to me.
I agree with @financiallybrokehoot above in the comments. Make the aunt pay for the dress, regardless of actually giving it to her. OP's son's time is worth it, and the fabric wasn't cheap.
Sister is a stupid b***h, that is simple. What I do not understand is why underage person cannot be present at party where alcohol is served? After all alcohol consumption is not mandatory. Frankly, I have never been to party where there were no minors due to alcohol being served. And 17yo is good enough for a glass of wine or champagne for toast.
I hope the kid either manages to sell it or ends up finding someone to give it to that will actually appreciate it. Also, hope he can use it as a great part of a portfolio to get into a design school.
That’s what I was thinking. His creation is his masterpiece which will open doors for his talent to blossom.
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The alcohol thing is just an excuse.She is doing it to placate her homophobic boyfriend.Your son does not need that garbage.Either she pays(at least for his time and design) or no dress for her.Simple.And good on you Dad,for standing up to her mistreatment of your boy.Hopefully,he goes on to be HUGE in the fashion world and all she will see is what she COULD have had.
I'm sure once the dress is appraised he will have a future in design. Weddings, amirite? I'd be p.o.d if my sister did that but sometimes it helps if you know your siblings personality and what buttons not to push. I borrowed a Gunne Sax dress from my sister and a JP married us in my in laws dining room. Just family. (his family was huge back then) Wedding day is also the day I met my in laws. Then we all hung out for a few hours in our nice clothes. Well my husband had on a canadian tux. It was a blast, people were happy. Simple with people you like is best.
It's not the alcohol situation. It's the "Oh, you made this dress? It's a beautiful dress!". She's jealous of him and his talent and doesn't want attention diverted from her wearing it to him whom made it!!! And if the finance doesn't want him from some bs Christian views because your son may be LGBTQ+, or just incredibly talented or just 17, then it's all b.s. If it's the LGBTQ+ then I suggest you ask fiance " did Jesus ever turn away someone different, or harm them in any way?" No. Is the answer. Fiance in that case is not a Christian.
I never understood why so many Americans have such a weird association with alcohol. It's like a pseudo-religious, conservative Victorian attitude and it's a sick way to think. In most of the world alcohol is just another type of beverage to choose from. Learn how to handle it responsibly.
I sew and know how much time and energy goes into making a wedding gown, time, materials and stress. I have often been told I charge too much. My response now is, ok go buy one. A 17 year old making a gown that has that sort of retail price is an artist and should never accept anything less than his worth. I wedding invitation is small change. His aunt is a b***h who is being extremely cheap and nasty. Good on his mum for realizing her son's worth. Also sounds like he's going to be a very successful designer. I hope we hear more from him
Sad...If this is due to the influence of her soon to be husband, keep your son away from them. The dress could have been something she could have cherished & passed down with the special add of it being made by her wonderful 17 yr old nephew. Someday she will realize what she has done & the regret will follow, by then tho, too little, too late.
My favorite comment was the one about "he should go and wear the dress". Lol I would do the same thing.
Sister is using alcohol as the excuse....it is not the real reason. Charge her for your sons labor, for each consultation, and for all the items used in the design and manufacture of the dress.
So wait, sister won't allow her nephew to attend her wedding as a valued family member, but then won't pay for the dress he spent hours and dollars on? The OP is NTA. Anyone in his family/friend group who is "siding" with the sister are the AH. OP and son need to draw the line in the sand. The son did the work - he asks to be included in the event or she pays full market price for the gown.
1. Always counter a bulIshit narrative: "She is ruining her own wedding and noone else, by thinking its ok to feel entitled to such an extreme value gift, but not valuing your son enough to be invited to the wedding 2. If almost 8 billion people can't even start to follow your argument, the argument is bulIshit! (wedding + alcohol + "underage" = problem.. wtf?)
Every wedding I've ever been to had young children at it... You know what their solution was? Don't give the children alcohol and inform the servers to check ID. Especially if it's one person and you are that worried give the bar tender a picture of the kid and say "do not serve" . Sounds like he'd probably want to be sober to see his work and remember it anyway lol
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Aunt of the year here. Drinking at the wedding is more important than inviting her nephew who spent countless hours creating a one-of-a-kind custom wedding dress for her.
Thank you for standing up for your son and showing due respect for his obvious talents. She did not. She tried to use her own nephew and then treated him like he was nothing and expects to walk away looking like a princess and smelling like a rose. Not today!
I don't know if I missed something as I was reading, but where is this wedding taking place? Because I can't imagine that alcoholic beverages would be allowed inside a church. Also, is alcohol the only beverage available or something? Is it really that hard to provide drinks that minors can have? The dude's 17, and doesn't sound like the irresponsible type, so I'm sure he knows what he can and can't have, and will likely comply with drinking laws.
They could have kind of an ‘after party’ somewhere else where there is alcohol or something. Or maybe they host a ceremony for the family and a separate ceremony in a church.
Load More Replies... Don't look back. The sale of that dress to someone who appreciates it, will put a nice dent in his tuition at any fashion school he chooses.
What a b*tch. She doesn't deserve the dress. I hope she has a long, unhappy and unfulfilling marriage.
Amazing NTA your sister can pay for the dress. It is all about free and not spending the money on a dress. Your son makes her a dress but should charge her from day one moment he drew designs on paper. Sorry at. Times family can be the ones to stab you in the back over things. Set the goals and price from start along with labor due to large amount of time and money for supplies. Buy separate wedding gift to give.
For making the dress he and not being invited she should be charged for the dress plus interest for custom make of a dress, and because of the time spent on it you choose the interest rate as the creator of such an elegant dress
Wow we should ban minors from all restaurants because they sell alcohol there 🤪 there is alcohol at any wedding and it is up to the parents to take care of their kids. Btw 17y old...if he has a glass of wine the world will not end he is almost an adult
Homophobia was mentioned, did I miss the bit where someone was queer??
Im guessing the son was queer although they never actually said it
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I don't get it? Minors? Okay, kids 12 & under, sure - but the kid who MADE YOUR DRESS? Are you under the impression the bartenders would be serving him alcohol? You point him out and say - "He's only 16. Don't you dare". What a f*cking cow. I think it would be hilarious if HE wore the dress to her wedding. But, I'm kind of mean like that. But check out another sales site if Facebook or something else like (Etsy might be a good one) and sell the damn thing. What a b*tch.
Would love to see the dress. And mom is very good in defending her son. The aunt is kind of big A for not inviting her nephew. Especially when she asked him to make her dress.
If the creator of the dress cannot attend, neither can the dress. I wouldn't make the situation worse by billing her and/or taking her to court, but I certainly would refuse to give her the dress unless she invites her nephew. Worst case, she sticks to her guns, you guys are rid of a toxic family member, and the kid gets a big payday when he sells the dress and starts his 6 figure custom wedding dress business.
Unless they are having communion at the wedding, there won't be alcohol. Maybe at the reception, which she can ask he not attend, but he should get to see HIS CREATION in use. Shame on auntie.
I'm upset besides no one has pointed out that he could of went to the wedding there is no alcohol while ur walking down the isle now u could of sent him home for the reception..but that's after the wedding.. he could of still got to be included and see the dress walk down the isle. She making excuses!!
I'm mad Caz no one has brought up the fact that he could of attended the wedding. There is no alcohol walking down the isle ... u could of sent him home for the reception which is after the wedding. He could of still been included to see his work walk down the isle. She making excuses!!!
I'm wondering if this is more about the bridezilla not wanting anyone to know her dress was made by a teen than anything to do with alcohol or OP's son stealing her spotlight. My guess is that she wants people to think a real professional custom-made the dress (like Vera W**g or Oleg Cassini). Op's son could very well be a future W**g or Cassini, so if that's the case, she will have missed out on bragging that she had an original...KARMA! Moral: never hide the talents of friends/family, especially when an invitation to your wedding was all that was needed to get a wedding gown original for free
They won't be married long as her husband is a bigot. That's the biggest issue here is her marrying a man who hates a child so much he created a reason to exclude him to disguise his bigotry. If he was just, he wouldn't have had to create the smokescreen. One thing he is NOT, is a Christian. He is a bigot, and deserves to be called on it. Using his false Christianity to exclude this kid is evident as I am pretty sure he and her have had intercourse. How much od a desperate loser is she to turn her back on a child, who is also her nephew? I'm impressed by dad's tenacity and loyalty more than I am disgusted at the sister, her fiance, and the OPs own mother/ the grandmother by a small margin.
Groom, the Cristian, who enabled scum scheme including child labor ...Jisus!
The kid slaves for the better part of a year, makes edits after every little critique, was completely fine doing it pro bono for family and you can't invite him to the wedding to see it being used for its intended purpose? No one says you have to serve him alcohol and an invitation is literally the least you could do. I'd say f**k her, sell the dress to someone else who will appreciate it and while your at it start advertising this kids work... Sounds like he is a damn prodigy!
Naw stop,this is clearly a very good made up post,red flag number one,him telling his sister that she can't have the dress after his son spent so much time on it because no kids are allowed even though maybe people agree that because he made the dress she should be allowed,she needs. Dress for her wedding either she's saying no he cant come because she already got another dress letting this poor youngen waste his time or she hoping to get it for free 2nd red flag is the po,you won't post a pic here but going to post it to other places online to sell it and get the monet back he deserves plus some,and that's where I think this is a very good made up post,because why wouldn't you post a picture of the dress who knows might help your son out alot and could possibly earn mote for it,either way fake fake fake send us pics of the wedding then lol
So many websites are reposting these fake AITA posts
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Maybe you are a bit biased. He is a 17 year old kid.....NOT GIANNI VERSACE and you value his dress at $25,000.🙄🤣You are creating one of these entitled BRATS who think ANYTHING THEY DO is massively valueable because they are just so god dang special. Clearly he's NOT an adult if he sits crying over this invitation for days! & why are YOU fighting his battles for him? He made the deal. I would have thought he could be invited since hes 17 almost 18 but maybe hes known for his diva like behaviour. Would be be expecting to bring a male plus 1? I sense a few people think he is very likely to create drama at the event and THAT'S more the reason he isn't wanted. It is a b1tchbhoy move to withhold the dress or to sell it publically to hurt her. & YOU are encouraging him to live up to the EXACT STEREOTYPE I expected. He needs to know you do not start at the top....$25000 for a wedding dress, you pay your dues & work your way up. If it took "princess 17" 50 drawings to get it right-nuff said!
Such a weird and inconsistent comment... are you the aunt or her friend? If he's "clearly not an adult" then she shouldn't trust him with such a big responsibility. If, for whatever reason, inviting him is a problem, then don't ask any gift from him, let alone one that took much of his time and effort. That's just common sense.
Load More Replies... I am curious how they came up with the 22-25k valuation. That seems high for a no-named teenager.
It does sound steep but in my mind he could value it at £20 and she still doesn't deserve the dress.
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A lot of AITA posts aren't the most believable thing, but going along with it even if there's some questionable details is kinda just part of it. Unless it's verifiably false or they contradict themselves in a way that just can't be unintentional, just go along with it. Imagine if you had an unlikely situation where you were trying to figure out if you were in the wrong and all the answers you got were something along the lines of "that's suspicious and here's why." Plus if they're a well to do family (which it probably is if the kid has had sewing training) and he happens to have natural talent on top of a few years of classes (which were mentioned), it's not out of the realm of possibility, even if it's pretty damn unlikely. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she fudged the cost or if they live in a country with dollars worth less than a us dollar, like Singapore, Canada, or Australia.
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NTA. Far from it, you are standing up for your son and your sister is letting her nephew down. The underage and alcohol aspect has little to do with it. Instead, your sister is siding with her partner's homophobia, or just dislike, for your son. This dislike won't change when he grows up either. You haven't actually said that your son is gay so everyone could be wrong about that. But your BIL to be has probably just assumed this because he's a boy who likes dressmaking. So good for you, for standing up for your son and being the proud dad.
For this extremely talented budding designer, that means about $25,000.00.
Load More Replies... "Because alcohol would be served"? Riiiiiiiiiight. 🤨 I'll bet you dollars to peanuts that the REAL reason she didn't want her nephew at the wedding was because she could lie about who made her dress (Vera W**g, Georgio Armani, whoever). Then, after the wedding, sell it for a profit. Just my thoughts......
I’m sure too. She wanted to use her own nephew. Shame on her.
Load More Replies... The only logical rationale I can find in this is that homophobia is influencing the bride. Whether it’s from her fiancé directly, concern for what his Christian family/friends may think, or some other issue with who the dressmaker is. Most likely it’s his queerness and not his near-adulthood age. - I’m obvious gay. Not completely Nathan Lane in The Birdcage swishy, but even broken gaydar works on me. My cousin married a conservative Christian whose family judged them for living together beforehand. They didn’t have a ton of $ for wedding, so I helped fund it. I comped them 14 rooms (immediate family owned hotel), hooked them up with a free venue, discounted catering, flowers photography & planning (all industry trades I made at my expense) & since it was a destination wedding, got them chartered air travel for most and used miles for the 3 people who couldn’t afford the flights. I even planned communal meals & scheduled activities & tours for their guests over a 5-day trip for…
22 people. The goal was to make it affordable. It was less than $1000 in total for each person in her party to travel from east coast to Hawaii for 5 days. The day before arrival, she mentioned that I must be ready to take a vacation from all the hard work I put in. She ran circles subtly trying to say I wasn’t a guest. I forced her to outright say so. She’s always been cool with me & has lots of gay friends. She admitted it was her fiancé & his family that wouldn’t attend with queers (‘me & my husband & probably half the staff dealing with their event). I told my aunt & uncle that I wasn’t invited and why. My aunt told her they were backing out & her father wouldn’t be there to give her away. Then she blasted her own daughter on Facebook, tagging family and all her gay friends. The morning they departed she messaged me an apology, reinviting me & husband. When they landed the first thing she did was give us an actual invitation card. The event was fine, but we’re no longer close.
Load More Replies... I can't see this ending well. Even if the almost-adult is finally invited, I imagine it would be a bit tense at the wedding. Some people have rocks in their brains, but I totally see the "very Christian" husband-to-be being against the gay son (if that's the case as OP hinted) at his wedding. It's unfortunately par for the course with some Christians. Because Jesus famously kicked everyone he didn't like to the curb.
Yup, love thy neighbour - unless they happen to be gay/trans/black/Asian/Muslim etc. Bugs my happiness
Load More Replies... Stunned that a young talented man who devoted time and effort with love and care can't see it worn with the love and appreciation it deserves. Grr just people, they make my head itch
i would be wearing that most fantastic dress and every single guest and everywhere on social media would be hearing that it was made by my "little nephew who is a fashion designer" tag tag tag! If this story really happened i wouldnt want her near my son either.
She doesn't want him to get attention for making the beautiful dress and taking away from her day. That's the main issue. Number two is the future husband being a homophobe even if your son isn't "gay". I think it's very rude of her not to bite one an give the invite to him. And he's a young man not a child who would prob honestly get bored at the reception half way through and want to sneak out. But it should be up to him. And since you are the parent if she doesn't pay up it's not a free dress with free labor. You did right sending an invoice. I hope you have a lovely day home relaxing while she zillas out about you not being there and actually making her say about you and you son and the mystery dress everyone will be talking about. Post some photos on fb having a party with the dress the day of the wedding. A tea party. Pizza party. Watching movies. Dress had a great time. Without her. And with your sons love that made it so special.
Thing is, if she makes sure everyone knows who made her dress, it will not only shine a lovely light on the kid, but also on her for being fair, kind, and generous enough to take some time from her day to give credit where credit is due. I know I would not only think the kid is a genius, but also that the bride is that rarity these days; a truly nice person and not a Bridezilla.
Load More Replies... First off, in a few months he’ll be 18 and the point will become moot—-what I’m saying is he’s close enough to legal adulthood (in the US) to be invited, if his age was the only issue, ffs. Second, if I had a nephew who could design and make me a $25,000.00 wedding dress for FREE, I would not only invite him to the wedding, I would pay for the dress, make sure everyone knows who designed and made my dress, and either get him a really nice gift, or pay at least his first semester, maybe two if I can afford it, at any top fashion school he will obviously be able to get into. I’d probably also make sure pictures of the dress are all over the internet so some key people in the fashion industry could maybe see it and see how talented he is (attention any lawyers reading this: to avoid another designer stealing his work from the pictures on sites I upload them to, is there a way to copyright the pictures?).
I thought the same thing, Kathryn! If I had the chance, I would be so proud of him for making the dress, I would do everything I can to show it to the world. Also, for the Christian -gay discussion - my brother was gay when me and my husband (both Christians) got married. I have never ever thought of not inviting him.
Load More Replies... The question about the wedding is not about the dress or the son. The only question about the wedding is who should throw the pie in the bride's face as she walks up the aisle.
I get that he's a kid, but omg, don't agree with a commission like that unless you have written down who pays for what. And don't give out your labor for free on such a massive project, no matter how much you love it!
Yeah. I think they trusted family to treat them with the love and respect they deserve. But most of us know the hard way that it is often family who can be the vipers.
Load More Replies... What strikes me, in addition to the unacceptable behavior of the bride, is the absurd excuse that alcohol will be served at the wedding and therefore no minors will be invited... But my goodness, in any Italian wedding, for example, alcohol is served, but no one would never dream of not inviting minors! Simply, the children don't drink any alcohol, and the older kids maybe taste the sparkling wine or drink water or soft drinks, all without any problem. What is described in this post seems crazy to me.
I agree with @financiallybrokehoot above in the comments. Make the aunt pay for the dress, regardless of actually giving it to her. OP's son's time is worth it, and the fabric wasn't cheap.
Sister is a stupid b***h, that is simple. What I do not understand is why underage person cannot be present at party where alcohol is served? After all alcohol consumption is not mandatory. Frankly, I have never been to party where there were no minors due to alcohol being served. And 17yo is good enough for a glass of wine or champagne for toast.
I hope the kid either manages to sell it or ends up finding someone to give it to that will actually appreciate it. Also, hope he can use it as a great part of a portfolio to get into a design school.
That’s what I was thinking. His creation is his masterpiece which will open doors for his talent to blossom.
Load More Replies... The alcohol thing is just an excuse.She is doing it to placate her homophobic boyfriend.Your son does not need that garbage.Either she pays(at least for his time and design) or no dress for her.Simple.And good on you Dad,for standing up to her mistreatment of your boy.Hopefully,he goes on to be HUGE in the fashion world and all she will see is what she COULD have had.
I'm sure once the dress is appraised he will have a future in design. Weddings, amirite? I'd be p.o.d if my sister did that but sometimes it helps if you know your siblings personality and what buttons not to push. I borrowed a Gunne Sax dress from my sister and a JP married us in my in laws dining room. Just family. (his family was huge back then) Wedding day is also the day I met my in laws. Then we all hung out for a few hours in our nice clothes. Well my husband had on a canadian tux. It was a blast, people were happy. Simple with people you like is best.
It's not the alcohol situation. It's the "Oh, you made this dress? It's a beautiful dress!". She's jealous of him and his talent and doesn't want attention diverted from her wearing it to him whom made it!!! And if the finance doesn't want him from some bs Christian views because your son may be LGBTQ+, or just incredibly talented or just 17, then it's all b.s. If it's the LGBTQ+ then I suggest you ask fiance " did Jesus ever turn away someone different, or harm them in any way?" No. Is the answer. Fiance in that case is not a Christian.
I never understood why so many Americans have such a weird association with alcohol. It's like a pseudo-religious, conservative Victorian attitude and it's a sick way to think. In most of the world alcohol is just another type of beverage to choose from. Learn how to handle it responsibly.
I sew and know how much time and energy goes into making a wedding gown, time, materials and stress. I have often been told I charge too much. My response now is, ok go buy one. A 17 year old making a gown that has that sort of retail price is an artist and should never accept anything less than his worth. I wedding invitation is small change. His aunt is a b***h who is being extremely cheap and nasty. Good on his mum for realizing her son's worth. Also sounds like he's going to be a very successful designer. I hope we hear more from him
Sad...If this is due to the influence of her soon to be husband, keep your son away from them. The dress could have been something she could have cherished & passed down with the special add of it being made by her wonderful 17 yr old nephew. Someday she will realize what she has done & the regret will follow, by then tho, too little, too late.
My favorite comment was the one about "he should go and wear the dress". Lol I would do the same thing.
Sister is using alcohol as the excuse....it is not the real reason. Charge her for your sons labor, for each consultation, and for all the items used in the design and manufacture of the dress.
So wait, sister won't allow her nephew to attend her wedding as a valued family member, but then won't pay for the dress he spent hours and dollars on? The OP is NTA. Anyone in his family/friend group who is "siding" with the sister are the AH. OP and son need to draw the line in the sand. The son did the work - he asks to be included in the event or she pays full market price for the gown.
1. Always counter a bulIshit narrative: "She is ruining her own wedding and noone else, by thinking its ok to feel entitled to such an extreme value gift, but not valuing your son enough to be invited to the wedding 2. If almost 8 billion people can't even start to follow your argument, the argument is bulIshit! (wedding + alcohol + "underage" = problem.. wtf?)
Every wedding I've ever been to had young children at it... You know what their solution was? Don't give the children alcohol and inform the servers to check ID. Especially if it's one person and you are that worried give the bar tender a picture of the kid and say "do not serve" . Sounds like he'd probably want to be sober to see his work and remember it anyway lol
Load More Replies... Aunt of the year here. Drinking at the wedding is more important than inviting her nephew who spent countless hours creating a one-of-a-kind custom wedding dress for her.
Thank you for standing up for your son and showing due respect for his obvious talents. She did not. She tried to use her own nephew and then treated him like he was nothing and expects to walk away looking like a princess and smelling like a rose. Not today!
I don't know if I missed something as I was reading, but where is this wedding taking place? Because I can't imagine that alcoholic beverages would be allowed inside a church. Also, is alcohol the only beverage available or something? Is it really that hard to provide drinks that minors can have? The dude's 17, and doesn't sound like the irresponsible type, so I'm sure he knows what he can and can't have, and will likely comply with drinking laws.
They could have kind of an ‘after party’ somewhere else where there is alcohol or something. Or maybe they host a ceremony for the family and a separate ceremony in a church.
Load More Replies... Don't look back. The sale of that dress to someone who appreciates it, will put a nice dent in his tuition at any fashion school he chooses.
What a b*tch. She doesn't deserve the dress. I hope she has a long, unhappy and unfulfilling marriage.
Amazing NTA your sister can pay for the dress. It is all about free and not spending the money on a dress. Your son makes her a dress but should charge her from day one moment he drew designs on paper. Sorry at. Times family can be the ones to stab you in the back over things. Set the goals and price from start along with labor due to large amount of time and money for supplies. Buy separate wedding gift to give.
For making the dress he and not being invited she should be charged for the dress plus interest for custom make of a dress, and because of the time spent on it you choose the interest rate as the creator of such an elegant dress
Wow we should ban minors from all restaurants because they sell alcohol there 🤪 there is alcohol at any wedding and it is up to the parents to take care of their kids. Btw 17y old...if he has a glass of wine the world will not end he is almost an adult
Homophobia was mentioned, did I miss the bit where someone was queer??
Im guessing the son was queer although they never actually said it
Load More Replies... I don't get it? Minors? Okay, kids 12 & under, sure - but the kid who MADE YOUR DRESS? Are you under the impression the bartenders would be serving him alcohol? You point him out and say - "He's only 16. Don't you dare". What a f*cking cow. I think it would be hilarious if HE wore the dress to her wedding. But, I'm kind of mean like that. But check out another sales site if Facebook or something else like (Etsy might be a good one) and sell the damn thing. What a b*tch.
Would love to see the dress. And mom is very good in defending her son. The aunt is kind of big A for not inviting her nephew. Especially when she asked him to make her dress.
If the creator of the dress cannot attend, neither can the dress. I wouldn't make the situation worse by billing her and/or taking her to court, but I certainly would refuse to give her the dress unless she invites her nephew. Worst case, she sticks to her guns, you guys are rid of a toxic family member, and the kid gets a big payday when he sells the dress and starts his 6 figure custom wedding dress business.
Unless they are having communion at the wedding, there won't be alcohol. Maybe at the reception, which she can ask he not attend, but he should get to see HIS CREATION in use. Shame on auntie.
I'm upset besides no one has pointed out that he could of went to the wedding there is no alcohol while ur walking down the isle now u could of sent him home for the reception..but that's after the wedding.. he could of still got to be included and see the dress walk down the isle. She making excuses!!
I'm mad Caz no one has brought up the fact that he could of attended the wedding. There is no alcohol walking down the isle ... u could of sent him home for the reception which is after the wedding. He could of still been included to see his work walk down the isle. She making excuses!!!
I'm wondering if this is more about the bridezilla not wanting anyone to know her dress was made by a teen than anything to do with alcohol or OP's son stealing her spotlight. My guess is that she wants people to think a real professional custom-made the dress (like Vera W**g or Oleg Cassini). Op's son could very well be a future W**g or Cassini, so if that's the case, she will have missed out on bragging that she had an original...KARMA! Moral: never hide the talents of friends/family, especially when an invitation to your wedding was all that was needed to get a wedding gown original for free
They won't be married long as her husband is a bigot. That's the biggest issue here is her marrying a man who hates a child so much he created a reason to exclude him to disguise his bigotry. If he was just, he wouldn't have had to create the smokescreen. One thing he is NOT, is a Christian. He is a bigot, and deserves to be called on it. Using his false Christianity to exclude this kid is evident as I am pretty sure he and her have had intercourse. How much od a desperate loser is she to turn her back on a child, who is also her nephew? I'm impressed by dad's tenacity and loyalty more than I am disgusted at the sister, her fiance, and the OPs own mother/ the grandmother by a small margin.
Groom, the Cristian, who enabled scum scheme including child labor ...Jisus!
The kid slaves for the better part of a year, makes edits after every little critique, was completely fine doing it pro bono for family and you can't invite him to the wedding to see it being used for its intended purpose? No one says you have to serve him alcohol and an invitation is literally the least you could do. I'd say f**k her, sell the dress to someone else who will appreciate it and while your at it start advertising this kids work... Sounds like he is a damn prodigy!
Naw stop,this is clearly a very good made up post,red flag number one,him telling his sister that she can't have the dress after his son spent so much time on it because no kids are allowed even though maybe people agree that because he made the dress she should be allowed,she needs. Dress for her wedding either she's saying no he cant come because she already got another dress letting this poor youngen waste his time or she hoping to get it for free 2nd red flag is the po,you won't post a pic here but going to post it to other places online to sell it and get the monet back he deserves plus some,and that's where I think this is a very good made up post,because why wouldn't you post a picture of the dress who knows might help your son out alot and could possibly earn mote for it,either way fake fake fake send us pics of the wedding then lol
So many websites are reposting these fake AITA posts
Load More Replies... Maybe you are a bit biased. He is a 17 year old kid.....NOT GIANNI VERSACE and you value his dress at $25,000.🙄🤣You are creating one of these entitled BRATS who think ANYTHING THEY DO is massively valueable because they are just so god dang special. Clearly he's NOT an adult if he sits crying over this invitation for days! & why are YOU fighting his battles for him? He made the deal. I would have thought he could be invited since hes 17 almost 18 but maybe hes known for his diva like behaviour. Would be be expecting to bring a male plus 1? I sense a few people think he is very likely to create drama at the event and THAT'S more the reason he isn't wanted. It is a b1tchbhoy move to withhold the dress or to sell it publically to hurt her. & YOU are encouraging him to live up to the EXACT STEREOTYPE I expected. He needs to know you do not start at the top....$25000 for a wedding dress, you pay your dues & work your way up. If it took "princess 17" 50 drawings to get it right-nuff said!
Such a weird and inconsistent comment... are you the aunt or her friend? If he's "clearly not an adult" then she shouldn't trust him with such a big responsibility. If, for whatever reason, inviting him is a problem, then don't ask any gift from him, let alone one that took much of his time and effort. That's just common sense.
Load More Replies... I am curious how they came up with the 22-25k valuation. That seems high for a no-named teenager.
It does sound steep but in my mind he could value it at £20 and she still doesn't deserve the dress.
Load More Replies... A lot of AITA posts aren't the most believable thing, but going along with it even if there's some questionable details is kinda just part of it. Unless it's verifiably false or they contradict themselves in a way that just can't be unintentional, just go along with it. Imagine if you had an unlikely situation where you were trying to figure out if you were in the wrong and all the answers you got were something along the lines of "that's suspicious and here's why." Plus if they're a well to do family (which it probably is if the kid has had sewing training) and he happens to have natural talent on top of a few years of classes (which were mentioned), it's not out of the realm of possibility, even if it's pretty damn unlikely. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she fudged the cost or if they live in a country with dollars worth less than a us dollar, like Singapore, Canada, or Australia.
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