Woman Refuses Point-Blank To Be Organ Donor For Mom’s Bestie, Wonders If It Was A Jerk Move

An old proverb says: “Don’t spit into the well, you might need to drink from it.” This kind of worldly wisdom is actually found in many cultures, and even now, when we actually hardly drink from wells, it hasn’t lost its relevance. Of course, it’s about not treating people badly when you may need to ask them for help later on.

Our story today, first told by the user u/kidneybean1234, details a case just like this when a person who has always been quite rude and neglectful towards a friend’s daughter, one day, faced a crucial situation where she needed help. However, let’s take things in order.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post moved with her mom a few years ago and stays there at the moment

Woman wearing mask sitting with suitcase, looking at watch, reflecting on organ donor refusal and apology request.

Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The main problem of living there was actually mom’s toxic bestie named “Mel”

Text excerpt from a woman refusing to be an organ donor for her mom's obnoxious bestie, causing conflict and demands for apology.

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Image credits: kidneybean1234

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This lady has always been hostile towards the author, so they didn’t get along at all

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Text showing a woman sharing how her mom talks about Mel, expressing frustration over Mel's problems and emotional drain.

Text describing a woman refusing to be an organ donor for her mom’s obnoxious bestie and facing backlash.

Image credits: kidneybean1234

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One day the author found her mom and Mel sobbing, and the woman asked if she could be a kidney donor for her

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Woman refuses to be organ donor for mom’s obnoxious bestie and faces demands for an apology.

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Image credits: kidneybean1234

The author’s instant answer was a point-blank “No,” but then she got called out by mom for being so rude

So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she’s now 25 years old, and after the pandemic, she moved in with her mom in order to help her with things. Unfortunately for her, sharing a roof with her  means sharing time with “Mel.” Haven’t you heard of Mel? Well, if you’d heard half of what I’ve heard about her (and I just read the author’s post carefully), you’d understand how toxic this person is.

According to the author, this is a lady in her mid-40s, very insecure and yet very entitled, and she and our heroine haven’t gotten along for a long time. Mel constantly complains about life – and since the original poster’s mom is her only friend (she’s already fallen out with everyone else), she has to constantly listen to these rants.

So one day, returning home, the OP found her mother and Mel in tears. It turned out that she had been diagnosed with a serious disease, and she urgently needed an organ transplant (judging by the author’s username – a kidney transplant). Before our heroine had time to express appropriate words of regret and encouragement, Mel turned to her and asked if she could be tested to be a donor for her.

In many cases, our words precede our thoughts, and the OP exclaimed: “Absolutely [ducking] not!” even before she thought that it might be impolite. Then she just stormed out. When she returned, Mel was gone, and the mom pounced on her with reproaches for being rude and cruel and saying that she owes Mel an apology. The author, in turn, had two frames of thought over her deed–so she asked netizens for advice.

Woman sitting on couch with arms crossed in refusal, expressing refusal to be organ donor for mom's obnoxious bestie

Image credits: stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Well, even if we take out the moral aspects of this situation – that is, the dubious prospect of becoming an organ donor for a person who has always treated you if not hostile, then at least dismissively, then organ donation is in any case associated with some health risks.

For example, this dedicated article on the National Kidney Foundation claims that women may experience problems during a possible pregnancy, as well as new health risks. For example, slightly higher blood pressure, a higher probability of developing diabetes, and, accordingly, possible kidney failure.

Yes, the probability of kidney complications for donors is less than 1%, and, if a person donates through a National Kidney Registry (NKR) program, they’ll be given priority for a living donor kidney – but this is still fraught with health issues. If it’s your best friend or close relative, that’s one thing, but what about a random person always being hostile to you?

Well, the commenters also agreed with this. Many folks noted that the author’s reaction was a bit harsh, but our heroine was, firstly, caught off guard, and secondly, this lady’s attitude towards her over the past years speaks for itself. So the opinions of the responders converge – the OP is not to blame for the refusal, but rather for its form. Well, what do you, our dear readers, think about this tale?

Many commenters agree that the author wasn’t wrong for refusal, but mentioned that her wording was too harsh

Commenter explains woman refuses to be organ donor for mom's obnoxious bestie, facing backlash for apology demand.

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Comment accusing woman of being wrong for refusing organ donation to mom's obnoxious bestie despite chronic illness.

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