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Woman Finds Out She’s Been In A Relationship Without Realizing After Getting Publicly Proposed To
Woman Finds Out She’s Been In A Relationship Without Realizing After Getting Publicly Proposed To
101

Woman Finds Out She’s Been In A Relationship Without Realizing After Getting Publicly Proposed To

Interview With Expert

29

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It’s only natural that the bond between best friends grows stronger the more time they spend together. With that sometimes come deeper feelings that can blur the line between friendship and affection. Catching oneself having romantic thoughts about a buddy can feel confusing, and figuring out what to do with the newfound fondness can be even more baffling. 

Overwhelmed with feelings for his best friend, this guy saw no other option but to propose. The girl was completely caught off guard when he pulled out the ring and burst out laughing, thinking it was a prank, only to realize that he was totally serious about the marriage offer.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Krystal Mazzola Wood, M.Ed., LMFT, who kindly agreed to tell us more about how friendship can turn into love.

RELATED:

    The more time friends spend together, the stronger the bond between them becomes

    A man proposing to his best friend with a ring in a park setting.

    Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)

    Unfortunately, this guy mistook long-year friendship for romance, decided to propose and got embarrassingly rejected

    Text screenshot about a best friend proposal, expressing confusion and shock.

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    Text describing friendship and shared experiences between two university students.

    Text describing friendship and togetherness, highlighting social activities and strong bonds.

    Text about visiting hometowns during Easter holidays for a proposal surprise.

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    Text excerpt about street sellers offering items like hotdogs and Pokemon hats.

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    A man in emotional distress sitting on a couch, wearing a brown jacket and jeans.

    Image credits: shotprime (not the actual photo)

    Text of a personal story about getting a caricature done while sitting in front of an artist.

    Text recounting a surprise marriage proposal in a busy city, drawing a crowd's attention.

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    Text describing an emotional proposal with unexpected laughter, ending in rejection and heartbreak.

    Text describing an awkward moment in a crowd after a proposal rejection.

    Text about a plan to meet at a hotel; discusses waiting for someone who doesn't return.

    Text screenshot about a misunderstanding between friends, discussing feelings and public humiliation.

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    A man sitting on a couch with his hand on his forehead, looking distressed after a rejected proposal.

    Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)

    Text about a friendship with no romantic interest, mentioning boundaries and lack of physical attraction.

    Text message expressing confusion about an unexpected proposal.

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    Text on a white background discussing someone waiting for a return to the hotel and being unsure of how to respond.

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    Text expressing shock and uncertainty after a rejected proposal.

    Text message about turning to strangers on Reddit after surprising proposal rejection in public.

    Text expressing confusion after an unexpected public proposal from a best friend, highlighting relationship misunderstanding.

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    Image credits: ThrowRAproposingalmost

    70% of romantic relationships begin with friendship

    Researchers have estimated that almost 70% of romantic relationships begin with friendship, which Krystal Mazzola Wood, M.Ed., LMFT, says is a powerful foundation to build romance on.

    “In fact, over 40 years of research by the Gottman Institute proves the happiest couples have a deep friendship between them. First meeting someone as a friend can then lend itself to a strong, happy, and lasting relationship,” she says.

    Mazzola Wood explains that friendship can turn into deeper affection when individuals share mutual values, plans for the future and, of course, attraction. “If both people want the same things in their romantic future, i.e., to raise children or to break generational cycles while also being physically and emotionally attracted to one another, this transforms friendship into love.”

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    A sign indicating that one may be developing feelings for a friend is a new sense of ‘butterflies,’ says Mazzola Wood. “Maybe they suddenly feel nervous or excited in a new way to spend time with their friend. This is a good sign romantic feelings are being developed. Also, having new visions for your future that involve you and your friend partnering is a good sign you want more with them.

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    A couple dining outdoors, enjoying a breakfast with juice, surrounded by lush trees on a wooden deck.

    Image credits: Ave Calvar (not the actual photo)

    “If they are single, let them know directly that your feelings for them have evolved to romantic ones”

    Getting such feelings out in the open can not only result in disappointment but a change in relationship, notes Mazzola Wood. Therefore, she advises taking some time before expressing them and assessing if their romantic feelings are truly authentic.

    “For instance, if a person suddenly feels romantic towards their friend but is going through a breakup, this may be a product of loneliness instead of authentic desire. Take a few months to sit with your feelings, journal, and perhaps meditate on these feelings and your vision for the future,” she suggests.

    Once a person is sure their affection is genuine, it’s important to discuss it with the friend, even though it might require a lot of courage, says Mazzola Wood. However, this only applies if they’re single, she adds. “If they are in a relationship, perhaps it may be useful to seek the support of a therapist, as desiring someone unavailable may be a sign of non-secure attachment issues. Otherwise, if they are single, let them know directly that your feelings for them have evolved to romantic ones,” she advises.

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    Sadly, there’s also the chance that the other person isn’t feeling the same way. “Communicate your desire for a romantic relationship while also sharing that you respect if their feelings aren’t mutual. They may need time to process your feelings – let them have this. If their feelings aren’t mutual, this will be painful, but it’s better to know than to live potentially years with a sense of unrequited love, which prevents true friendship,” says Mazzola Wood.

    “You may need time to process this disappointment before resuming your friendship – that’s ok. Take some time and space if you need because it is possible to have a strong friendship if you process your grief while realizing there is actually a better match for you then.”

    However, she believes that the thought of rejection shouldn’t stop a person from confessing their love. “While you risk disappointment, there’s also the potential your friend will feel the same way, which can lead to a profoundly loving, peaceful and strong relationship. It is worth the risk to experience this potential!”

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    A man and woman sitting by the waterfront, boats in view, symbolizing a relationship and proposal moment in a crowd.

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    Image credits: Molly the Cat (not the actual photo)

    The author provided more information in the comments

    Text exchange about a friend's relationship status and perception of a proposal.

    Reddit conversation discussing a lack of intimacy, leading to a surprising proposal rejection.

    Reddit discussion about a friend's romantic rejection, featuring different user comments and points of view.

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    Reddit post discussing a friend's relationship boundaries and misunderstandings.

    Online discussion about cultural misunderstandings and British nationality.

    As readers reacted, the original poster replied to some of them

    Reddit text exchange about a proposal, one advising safety and public discussion.

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    Proposal rejection conversation with comments, highlighting wedding invitation.

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    Reddit comments exchange discussing a surprising proposal rejection and imagined relationships.

    Reddit comments discussing a surprising proposal and crowd rejection.

    Readers further suggested that the guy’s behavior may be delusional

    Comment criticizing a public proposal after catching a friend off guard, advising communication about relationship boundaries.

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    Comment highlighting a friend's unexpected proposal rejection.

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    Comment questioning a man's mental state suggests he needs help after unexpected proposal rejection.

    Comment expressing skepticism about a friendship after a rejected proposal.

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    Comment discussing concern about someone's health, reflecting worry and advisement to see a doctor.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a proposal rejection and its impact on friendship.

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    Text screenshot discussing distance and relationship issues after a proposal.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising against meeting a person alone in a hotel room after a rejected proposal in public.

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    Comment on rejection after unexpected proposal to best friend.

    Comment discussing a guy's fantasy and confirmation bias after a proposal to his best friend leads to rejection.

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    Reddit comment expressing concern and advising someone to stay safe and seek help.

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    Reddit comment discussing reputation concerns after a public rejection.

    Text message advice on rejection, proposal caught best friend off guard, emphasizes friendship boundaries.

    Comment about rejection, boundaries, and perception of reality after a public proposal.

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    Reddit comment expressing concern, saying "This is honestly very scary, please be safe.

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    Comment discussing concern for someone's mental health in a public setting.

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

    Read less »
    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    Read less »

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    What do you think ?
    Nikole
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That poll was missing the correct answer: he is a delusional weirdo.

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    Update Hey, I’m not dead! I’m back at my parent’s house at the moment and I’ll be staying here until school picks back up in a bit instead of travelling around. It’s nice to be home anyways. Jordan and I spoke. He didn’t explain where he got the idea we were in a relationship from, and he doubled down on the proposal idea saying I should’ve loved it. Apparently he’s dropping out of university.

    Load More Replies...
    Blah Blah Blah
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's an update she wrote... https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1bx86td/update_my_25f_best_friend_24m_proposed_to_me_im/

    winterwidow87
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upvoting you to make people read the update. I am glad he's getting the help he so evidently needs, a psychotic breakdown is no joke.

    Load More Replies...
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    A. HAM
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely believe this can happen. I worked with a man, he was late 40’s, I was early 30’s. We were workplace cordial, but that’s it. We did not flirt, we did not see each other outside of work, we weren’t even friends, just coworkers. One day, I get into work and he’s not there, he quit. No big deal, coworkers come and go. A couple weeks later I receive a letter. The letter is from my former coworker, and he says that he’s in love with me. He also says that he quit the job because he “felt himself losing control around me”. Again, we were not even friends!

    Midoribird Aoi
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could he have meant he was to the point of maybe just confessing to you and asking for a date?

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Nikole
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That poll was missing the correct answer: he is a delusional weirdo.

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    Update Hey, I’m not dead! I’m back at my parent’s house at the moment and I’ll be staying here until school picks back up in a bit instead of travelling around. It’s nice to be home anyways. Jordan and I spoke. He didn’t explain where he got the idea we were in a relationship from, and he doubled down on the proposal idea saying I should’ve loved it. Apparently he’s dropping out of university.

    Load More Replies...
    Blah Blah Blah
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's an update she wrote... https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1bx86td/update_my_25f_best_friend_24m_proposed_to_me_im/

    winterwidow87
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upvoting you to make people read the update. I am glad he's getting the help he so evidently needs, a psychotic breakdown is no joke.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    A. HAM
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely believe this can happen. I worked with a man, he was late 40’s, I was early 30’s. We were workplace cordial, but that’s it. We did not flirt, we did not see each other outside of work, we weren’t even friends, just coworkers. One day, I get into work and he’s not there, he quit. No big deal, coworkers come and go. A couple weeks later I receive a letter. The letter is from my former coworker, and he says that he’s in love with me. He also says that he quit the job because he “felt himself losing control around me”. Again, we were not even friends!

    Midoribird Aoi
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could he have meant he was to the point of maybe just confessing to you and asking for a date?

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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