Ex-BF And His Family Demand Woman Skip Trip To Hawaii She Paid For, She Has Other Plans

Breakups are rarely simple, but add money to the drama, and it might bring out the absolute worst in people.

One woman turned to Reddit for advice after she realized her ex’s family was probably trying to take advantage of her.

While they were still together, she had organized and paid for their trip to a destination wedding in Hawaii, and the deal was that they would pay her back whenever they could.

Now, however, they are avoiding doing so, and she wants to develop a plan on how to proceed.

Some people will walk over you if you let them

Two economy class air tickets placed on a laptop keyboard, illustrating a paid trip dispute to Hawaii.

Image credits: rawf8 (not the actual photo)

So this woman is trying to think of a way how to stop her ex’s family from taking advantage of her financially

Text discussing a woman deciding whether to join her ex-boyfriend and his family on a paid Hawaii trip.

Text about breakup and Hawaii trip plans before the woman was asked to arrange flights and hotel for destination wedding.

Text excerpt showing woman paid over $2k each for a trip to Hawaii, made arrangements before breakup with ex-BF and his family.

Woman holding credit card and using laptop, planning Hawaii trip despite ex-BF and family demands to skip vacation.

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Email exchange showing woman asking ex-BF’s family for reimbursement after breakup before Hawaii trip she paid for.

Text explaining a woman's cool but polite response about eventually getting her money despite ex-BF and family demands.

Text excerpt showing a woman dealing with ex-BF and family demanding trip details for Hawaii vacation she paid for.

Text excerpt showing a dispute over accommodation expenses related to an ex-BF and Hawaii trip conflict.

Older woman looking stressed while talking on the phone, relating to ex-BF and family demanding she skip Hawaii trip.

Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)

Text message exchange about ex-BF and his family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, she plans to go regardless.

Text excerpt about ex-BF and his family refusing to reimburse a woman for a Hawaii trip she paid for herself.

Text excerpt about ex-BF and family demanding woman skip paid Hawaii trip, she insists on going despite disputes.

Text excerpt about canceling reservations and defending planned Hawaii trip amid ex-BF and family demands.

Image credits: One-Protection57

Chances are, her ex’s family was never going to pay her back anyway

Woman upset at home leaning on door frame, stressed by ex-BF and his family demanding she skip Hawaii trip she paid for.

Image credits: prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

As some commenters noted, there is a very real chance that she would not actually see the money paid back to her at any point. The unfortunate truth is that without a written contract, her money may be as good as gone. Verbal contracts can be legally binding in certain circumstances, for example, lending money. However, specialists recommend that you still get a written contract whenever possible because verbal agreements are much harder to prove in court. Not to mention, if the issue is getting money back, a real legal battle will probably cost more in the long run.

It comes down to the ex-boyfriend’s family’s goodwill and based on her post, particularly after the second interaction, there is a solid chance that they hold little to no goodwill for her at all. So at the very least, it makes sense to ensure that someone enjoys the Hawaii trip, otherwise, the entire endeavor is money being burned for no good reason. Others suggest taking a friend, which would probably be a pretty awesome gift to surprise someone with.

It’s also worth noting that, at least based on the information provided, the ex’s family never even started to initiate returning the money or doing any sort of reimbursement. It’s entirely possible that they just thought they could ignore the issue until, presumably, OP forgot about it, which seems a bit unlikely given the expenses and the time she no doubt spent planning. However, while normally more visible in children, some people delude themselves with the idea that they can just close their eyes to an issue and it will melt away. Their hostile response to OP’s very polite and relevant questions is perhaps a sign that their illusions were shattered. The dissonance between believing one thing, no matter how ridiculous, and reality interceding can be painful, however funny it might seem to an observer.

Planning trips and events is very stressful in the best of circumstances

Hands typing on laptop with travel items including passports, money, map, sunglasses, and a toy airplane on wooden table

Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual photo)

What makes the situation more comical, at least for readers, is the knowledge that paying back OP would still be better than paying the interest on a credit card or loan. OP did a nice thing for this family, ostensibly saving them some money and all the hassle of planning, and seems to have gotten berated in return. While she is asking the internet for advice, this reaction from the ex’s family should be enough to sway her to disregard their opinions completely. Together with all the indicators that they perhaps were never going to pay the debt in the first place, hopefully, helps alleviate any guilt she may have over her decision.

Remember, OP not only paid for everything but also went through the hassle of booking the tickets and other reservations. This is not just idle work, statistics show that planning and organizing rank pretty low on the list of stuff people like doing. These tasks require a lot of executive-level decision-making, all while communicating with other parties, and managing questions from multiple parties. There is an added layer of tension since the decision-maker has all the responsibility and knows that they will be blamed when something goes wrong or isn’t up to expectations. If all that sounded exhausting, you are not alone. On the flip side, at least OP will be able to enjoy a nice vacation to ease the tension, should she choose to go.

The woman behind the story covered a few reader questions

Screenshot of a Reddit thread discussing an ex-BF and his family demanding a woman skip her Hawaii trip she paid for.

Discussion screenshot showing a woman discussing reimbursement for a Hawaii trip paid for despite being unwelcome by ex-BF and family.

Reddit users discussing a woman’s Hawaii trip after ex-BF and his family demand she skip the vacation she paid for.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about ex-BF and his family demanding a woman skip a paid Hawaii trip.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about an ex-BF and his family demanding a woman skip her paid Hawaii trip.

ALT text: Online discussion about ex-BF and his family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, with her response plans.

Conversation about ex-BF and family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, with advice on vacation plans and boundaries.

Online discussion about ex-BF and family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, but she plans to go anyway.

Comment section discussing ex-BF and family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, with her determined response.

Comments discussing ex-BF and his family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, and her alternative plans.

Screenshot of a forum discussion about an ex-BF and his family demanding a woman skip a Hawaii trip she paid for.

Text conversation about ex-BF and his family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, she plans to go anyway.

Most commenters thought she was absolutely in the right and should just go and enjoy Hawaii

Comment suggesting refund demand from ex-BF and family after woman paid for Hawaii trip they want her to skip.

Comment discussing a vacation and hoping for a great time without any baggage issues during travels.

Text post sharing a story about an ex-boyfriend and family demanding a woman skip her Hawaii trip she paid for.

Comment suggesting to cancel accommodations and enjoy Hawaii vacation with friends, related to ex-BF and family demands.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing an ex-BF and his family demanding a woman skip a Hawaii trip she paid for.

Comment on a forum discussing an ex-BF and his family demanding a woman skip her paid Hawaii trip, but she has other plans.

Comment excerpt about ex-BF and his family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, with advice to enjoy the trip.

Screenshot of a forum comment advising a woman to cancel her ex-BF and his family’s tickets and go alone on the Hawaii trip she paid for.

Screenshot of online comment advising to cancel reservations or vacation with friends amid ex-BF and family demanding Hawaii trip cancellation.

Comment criticizing ex-BF and family demanding woman skip Hawaii trip she paid for, with advice to cancel plans.

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