Ex-BF And His Family Expect Woman To Skip The Trip To Hawaii She Paid For, She Has Other Plans

Organizing a trip for a bunch of people is a hassle in the best of circumstances. It can erode friendships and shatter family bonds as miscommunication and arguments happen. So perhaps a break-up is a blessing in disguise. Unless, of course, the whole thing is on your credit card.

One woman turned to the Internet for advice after a breakup with her boyfriend. When they were still together, she had organized and paid for his family’s trip to a destination wedding in Hawaii, but they refused to reimburse her part or even start paying her back. So she decided that, since she has the reservations and tickets, why not go herself?

Putting together a multi-day, multi-person trip is quite the undertaking

Image credits: rawf8 (not the actual photo)

So one woman wondered if she should just go on the trip she put together, as she paid for it anyway

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)

Image credits: One-Protection57

Realistically, her ex’s family was never going to pay OP back anyway

As some commenters noted, there is a very real chance that she would not actually see the money paid back to her at any point. The unfortunate truth is that without a written contract, her money may be as good as gone. Verbal contracts can be legally binding in certain circumstances, for example, lending money. However, specialists recommend that you still get a written contract whenever possible because verbal agreements are much harder to prove in court. Not to mention, if the issue is getting money back, a real legal battle will probably cost more in the long run.

It comes down to the ex-boyfriend’s family’s goodwill and based on her post, particularly after the second interaction, there is a solid chance that they hold little to no goodwill for her at all. So at the very least, it makes sense to ensure that someone enjoys the Hawaii trip, otherwise, the entire endeavor is money being burned for no good reason. Others suggest taking a friend, which would probably be a pretty awesome gift to surprise someone with.

It’s also worth noting that, at least based on the information provided, the ex’s family never even started to initiate returning the money or doing any sort of reimbursement. It’s entirely possible that they just thought they could ignore the issue until, presumably, OP forgot about it, which seems a bit unlikely given the expenses and the time she no doubt spent planning. However, while normally more visible in children, some people delude themselves with the idea that they can just close their eyes to an issue and it will melt away. Their hostile response to OP’s very polite and relevant questions is perhaps a sign that their illusions were shattered. The dissonance between believing one thing, no matter how ridiculous, and reality interceding can be painful, however funny it might seem to an observer.

Planning trips and events is very stressful in the best of circumstances

What makes the situation more comical, at least for readers, is the knowledge that paying back OP would still be better than paying the interest on a credit card or loan. OP did a nice thing for this family, ostensibly saving them some money and all the hassle of planning, and seems to have gotten berated in return. While she is asking the internet for advice, this reaction from the ex’s family should be enough to sway her to disregard their opinions completely. Together with all the indicators that they perhaps were never going to pay the debt in the first place, hopefully, helps alleviate any guilt she may have over her decision.

Remember, OP not only paid for everything but also went through the hassle of booking the tickets and other reservations. This is not just idle work, statistics show that planning and organizing rank pretty low on the list of stuff people like doing. These tasks require a lot of executive-level decision-making, all while communicating with other parties, and managing questions from multiple parties. There is an added layer of tension since the decision-maker has all the responsibility and knows that they will be blamed when something goes wrong or isn’t up to expectations. If all that sounded exhausting, you are not alone. On the flip side, at least OP will be able to enjoy a nice vacation to ease the tension, should she choose to go.

OP covered a few reader questions

Most commenters thought she was absolutely in the right and should just go and enjoy Hawaii

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