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It can be difficult to recover from learning about a spouse’s infidelity. Not only do you feel the seemingly unending sting of betrayal, but you also begin to ask yourself where you went wrong.
This is what happened to a woman who discovered both her husband’s affair and love child. Here’s the kicker: she found outwhile assisting the mistress as part of her job.
Feeling humiliated and dejected, the wife decided to vent on Reddit, trying to make sense of what happened.
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It’s never a good feeling to learn about your spouse’s infidelity
Woman at work looking shocked while setting up WIC profile, discovering husband's affair baby news on computer.
The loss of trust is the most apparent consequence of infidelity, which can ultimately damage the relationship permanently. However, what many people don’t talk about enough is the change in their brain chemistry that happens after the betrayal.
Research has shown that being in love and intoxicated with illicit substances stimulates the release of dopamine, a hormone linked to gratification and pleasure. Therefore, both can be highly addictive.
But as licensed psychologist Dr. Kristin Davin also points out, a person’s brain chemistry may also be altered after being cheated on. So much so that they may experience the same withdrawal symptoms as a person who misused illicit substances.
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There is also such a thing as post-infidelity stress disorder. As clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff tells Very Well Mind, some symptoms may include traumatic flashbacks, rumination, sleep issues, hypervigilance in future relationships, even isolation and withdrawal.
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“Their partner’s infidelity might exacerbate these underlying difficulties and confirm their beliefs about their own worth and how others treat them,” Dr. Romanoff added.
The woman admitted to feeling at a loss after what happened, and understandably so. Coping with such a distressing discovery can take a lot of work, according to Dr. Romanoff.
One treatment option she discussed is cognitive reframing, where the betrayed partner goes through a series of exposure techniques that make their experience less intolerable. The goal is to restructure their rigid thoughts and behaviors, replacing them with adaptive ones.
If reconciliation is still on the table, Dr. Davin advises having an open and honest conversation that tackles the cheating and other relationship issues that need addressing. She also recommends spending more time together as a couple as an initial step to rebuild trust.
However, the woman isn’t only dealing with her husband’s mistress, but a love child, as well. It may be difficult for her to stomach, and it wouldn’t be surprising if she opted for a divorce instead.
People in the comments rallied behind the author, urging her to get a lawyer involved
Woman discovering husband’s affair baby while setting up WIC profile at work, showing shock and surprise emotions.
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I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries
I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries
She can not use the information she was given by her husband's mistress to file for divorce. However, she can turn to a private investigator and say, "I believe my husband is having an affair. Here's his details. Please try to uncover any relevant information that might be important in a divorce case. " She has money from her grandfather's estate, and this sounds like a good use of some of it.
Miss Ann Thrope, in any civilised country, it is a breach of confidentiality and data protection legislation to use information obtained in an official capacity for personal gain. If it happened in my country, the person would be instantly dismissed, and legal proceedings would be brought against them.
She can not use the information she was given by her husband's mistress to file for divorce. However, she can turn to a private investigator and say, "I believe my husband is having an affair. Here's his details. Please try to uncover any relevant information that might be important in a divorce case. " She has money from her grandfather's estate, and this sounds like a good use of some of it.
Miss Ann Thrope, in any civilised country, it is a breach of confidentiality and data protection legislation to use information obtained in an official capacity for personal gain. If it happened in my country, the person would be instantly dismissed, and legal proceedings would be brought against them.
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