Woman Tries To Live The Trad Wife Life, Is Upset Husband Asks For The Whole Package
Lets face it, if one had to choose between a life of leisure or a nine-to-five, the vast majority of folks out there would pick the former. This is perhaps one of the leading reasons being a “tradwife” has become all so much more popular. However, it does take two to tango.
A man asked if he was wrong to lay out a long list of his own demands when his wife kept pressuring him to let her just be a tradwife. Later, he shared a bit of an update. We reached out to the man who shared the post via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.
Some women think being a domestic housewife means a life of relaxation and no worries
Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
But one man told his wife that if she really wanted to be a tradwife, she’d actually have to act like one
Image credits: prostooleh / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwra_notrad
Many people “fall” for an idealized lifestyle presented by influencers online
Image credits: tonodiaz / freepik (not the actual photo)
The “tradwife” movement, a contraction of “traditional wife“, promotes a return to traditional gender roles, promoting specifically a mid-20th-century model in which women do homemaking and care work and men work as the breadwinner. The trend portrays domesticity, baking, sewing, child-rearing, home maintenance, as moral and empowering in and of itself, even while it calls up nostalgia for an era of more rigid gender hierarchies. Influencers tend to frame the choice in terms of an assertion of autonomy, arguing that opting into home roles is just as valid as opting into careers outside the home.
There are several reasons that some women find tradwife messaging attractive and actively seek out this lifestyle. First, the complexity and velocity of modern life can be overwhelming: negotiating careers, social expectations, digital connectedness, and financial pressures generates anxiety and burnout for many. The tradwife movement offers a bounded, contained identity and habit, cooking, home keeping, dressing in retro-style clothing, that promises stability and significance rooted in care and nurture. Such a sense of a coherent self amid the drudgery of a 9-to-5 can be powerfully alluring during periods of uncertainty such as economic instability or cultural upheaval.
Social media magnifies these messages. On Instagram and TikTok, tradwife influencers showcase idyllic domestic scenes, spotlessly decorated houses, home cooking, vintage clothing, set to sappy, cloying music. These short clips distill complex social and economic problems into visually appealing, bite-sized content. They create a sense of belonging for followers who share tips about home-making, relationship roles, and self-care framed as preparation for a traditional marriage. Algorithmic amplification of such content can maximize identification with the lifestyle, as users become repetitively exposed to the same narratives of fulfillment through domestic roles.
Being a tradwife means giving up a significant part of one’s agency
Image credits: Ambreen / freepik (not the actual photo)
Psychologically, the embracing of tradwife values can be a backlash against perceived failures or demands of modern feminism and careerism. Some women find the “empowerment” discourse of doing anything to be fragmenting or disillusioning, especially if work-life balance is unrealized or unviable. Tradwife rhetoric reframes some of the relinquishing of ambitions as a virtue, rather than a loss, and offers an alternative narrative in which fulfillment is achieved through family work and clear roles of responsibility. This is reinforced in some communities by peer approval and the framing of traditional marriage as a bulwark against social collapse and uncertainty.
The overlap of the movement with feminist rhetoric, summoning slogans of autonomy to preserve traditional roles, betrays a tension: it appropriates feminist gains (agency, choice) to legitimize a lifestyle that previously confined women’s options. Critics argue this individualistic framing overlooks structural realities (economic inequality, lack of social provisioning for care work) and might undermine broader gender-equality gains. Furthermore, while the majority of tradwife activists assert no direct political alignment, the aesthetic and rhetoric often overlap with conservative or reactionary politics, authorizing imaginings of gender hierarchy beneath which critics consider regressive.
At the same time, agency needs to be acknowledged: for some women, the choice of a domestic life can, in fact, be satisfying if it is aligned with personal values and circumstance. Yet the ubiquity of romanticization on social media blinds individuals to the work intensity, economic dependencies, and potential isolation involved in this type of lifestyle. Why women are attracted to tradwife messaging can only be explained by recognizing the intersection of modern anxieties, the search for identity and belonging, economic realities, and the seductive simplicity of the curated online narratives. It can perhaps be helpful to hear from women who’ve actually tried it and decided to back out. If you were curious to learn what happened next, you’re in luck, as he later shared an update which can be found below.
He shared some more details in the comments
Many thought he was not unreasonable and should look into a divorce
Later, he shared an update
Image credits: yesorno / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwra_notrad
People thought he made the right move
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As a stay-at-home Dad, I can clear up a few misconceptions many people have about this subject. I really thought it was going to be great to take care of the house and Daughter. To be fair, I did enjoy having the house spotless for my wife and loved to cook. The thing I didn't expect is the feeling that I was never really felt like I was "off". Even if I took time to chill during the day I felt guilty. I would do it again because I was able to give my Wife a sanctuary to come home to after a 12-hour day, However, it wasn't what thought it would be.
I got to be a stay-at-home-dad for a year. I left a job because of their shenanigans, but due to their behavior I was paid for another year. I took some college classes and took over all household needs (except money - I hate dealing with the bills and my wife worked in healthcare finance). I loved it! I took care of the kids, made my wife jar salads to take to work, cooked, cleaned, did household repairs... I often met my wife at the door with a cocktail or glass of wine so she could relax after work/traffic. It was an amazing year, but we had a certain lifestyle and my old job had to pay me a year's salary (due to their shenanigans). When that went away, I found another job. I think I was built for it: I like cleaning, organizing, repairing things, cooking, and taking care of the kids. It was about 6am-7pm Monday-Friday and then weekends were pretty chill.
Load More Replies...I was legit confused for a second when I read "woman asks husband to be a tradwife." "That's not very traditional," I thought, "Oh, SHE wants to be a tradwife. Gotcha."
Tradwife really has nothing to do with this story at all. She wants to be a kept woman. A tradwife works her a*s off for a family. The fact that she was already looking at Sugar Daddy websites says what she was actually looking for, and that she was already checked out of the marriage. Hopefully she's super hot, because not a lot of pervy men with tons of money are looking for a 40 year old trophy wife.
Load More Replies...She sounds like she's suffering from burnout(NHS during the pandemic years, yikes), and in that vulnurable state got pulled into tradwife social media nonsense. To be honest, this is a pretty sad one.
Agree - lots of comments on "get out of it now mate", but less about "she sounds burnt out". But, she does sound like she's approaching it in a very childish way. *edit* [and isn't leaving him any options but to get out]
Load More Replies...She will get half of it in the divorce, whether it is sold now, or later. She will not be able to keep it.
Load More Replies..."trad wife does not mean bang maid android" of course it doesn't, the latter is far less worthless and doesn't spend all day on tiktok
What’s funny about these influencer “trad”wives…they are anything but submissive little wives. They run businesses, they work a ton. I mean, maybe they don’t use birth control and do stupid s**t like make cereal from scratch, but the trad wife thing is an illusion. When you are a homemaker you work all day, everyday. I’ve been a “trad” wife for 14 years. Not because my husband and I are religious weirdos who think I need to be some submissive mouse, but because I wanted to be a completely present wife and mom. That’s what matters to me most. Now that my kids are big, I’m in school finishing my education because a career is next. But yeah, being a stay at home wife and mom is a ton of work. That woman was a user, good for OP for giving her the flick.
I can't believe the trad wife movement is a thing. Like, I understand being a SAHM, but being a trad wife is never ending work from sunup till sundown. Not to mention, women fought for centuries NOT to be trad wives. What next, bringing back indentured servitude?
I think something happened to her. She's either physically ill (something affecting her brain) or something at her job. You don't go from brilliant to stupid that quickly unless some sort of trauma causes you to lose your faculties.
I'm mystified how someone in NHS management can walk into that sort of attitude. I get the burnout issue but they're so keen on equality etc.
Load More Replies...I knew a man who was an electrician who had a wife like that only she wanted to keep up with the Jones. Everything had to be bigger, better than anyone else she knew. They eventually had to file bankruptcy as well as divorce.
The ballerina trad-wife is married to a multi-millionare. Thus she can stay at home, raise the kids and keep the farm running. From what I understand the farm also has farm hands to help out. OP's wife doesn't want the "Little House on the Prairie" life (which if you think about it IS the traditional wife role). She wants the professional athlete wife role. All the money and fame and the opportunity to spend her man's money. (Again, not all are this way, but look at some of the Real Housewives.)
I’m an older woman and a little ,baffled. Do these women not realize how hard we had to work to get them bank accounts and options? Now they’ll throw away all of their financial security and freedom because someone on instagram says so?
This one is Really weird. Did something happen to her? She was in a highly successful role, I don't understand why she would want to drop to something so substandard and not rewarding. Looking affer a home is rewarding, but this fakery tråd wife c**p is not real. A traditional housewife did not work like this. There wasn't the money for hair and nails done. It was tight budgets and poverty. She needs psychiatric evaluation. Poor OP, he's really lost the woman he fell in love with, every aspect is gone. That must be so incredibly hard for him as well as the insane debt she's put him in
She sounds like a narcissist with a delusional level of entitlement. RUN! Be glad you don't have kids so you can forget she even exists.
If her job went anything like mine, I can understand her desire not to work especially after going through c**p mine pulled during the pandemic. However she's not coping with it or seeing reality. Obviously she started building a fantasy in her head about what it would be like to stay home. I was lucky enough to be able to stay home now and my husband covers expenses, but I take care of everything I can at home. I cook clean and take care of kids. I even make some of his medical appointments. He drives an older car so I refuse to pay for a cleaner until he can afford to get a nicer one. We have a reasonable mortgage we can afford off his income. We both work hard. We are partners!
An actual traditional wife lets her husband have the final say. A wise husband listens to her thoughts but ultimately makes the decision. Tell her no. Women who don’t have kids at home can work, just like some did in the twentieth century. With her mindset she would not be a successful “tradwife” anyway. (I know this is not a popular view these days. I’m 57 F, stayed at home to raise the kids, cleaned, cooked, shopped, did finances, etc…all that goes with it. Gave up new things and vacations to do it and worked part time at times when finances demanded it. Married 25 years.)
I've seen too many posts about men who refuse to work and still live in their parents' basements or their wives take care of them. I don't really see too much about that from women. The trad wife thing is crazy to me. I don't get it. I love to work. It makes me feel good about myself, especially when I accomplish something important. Sure, bosses and managers might suck, but I love to work. I assumed everyone did. And I'm getting up there. Retirement is in the next decade or two, and I don't want to do it. I want to keep working as long as I can.
"Some women think being a domestic housewife means a life of relaxation and no worries" I've never met a woman who believes this.
She is so delusional being a trad wife is a compromise and a life style sacrifice. I was a trad wife and wanted to do a lot of things which my husband was ok with . But I always wanted extra money todo things so I went back to work . I also felt my self getting bored at home I missed being around people
Is he being an ásshole? Yes. In this case, that is the appropriate thing for him to do, though.
What I find terribly amusing is that at 35 with a 100k salary he is still a catch. She at 40 and 50k (or 0) - not so much. She's gonna FAFO.
That was my thought when he said she'd changed. My mother went bonkers for a couple of years with the menopause. Add that to what Nicolas and John said about NHS burnout and you have a perfect storm. Not saying she's right, but it could be contributory.
Load More Replies...As a stay-at-home Dad, I can clear up a few misconceptions many people have about this subject. I really thought it was going to be great to take care of the house and Daughter. To be fair, I did enjoy having the house spotless for my wife and loved to cook. The thing I didn't expect is the feeling that I was never really felt like I was "off". Even if I took time to chill during the day I felt guilty. I would do it again because I was able to give my Wife a sanctuary to come home to after a 12-hour day, However, it wasn't what thought it would be.
I got to be a stay-at-home-dad for a year. I left a job because of their shenanigans, but due to their behavior I was paid for another year. I took some college classes and took over all household needs (except money - I hate dealing with the bills and my wife worked in healthcare finance). I loved it! I took care of the kids, made my wife jar salads to take to work, cooked, cleaned, did household repairs... I often met my wife at the door with a cocktail or glass of wine so she could relax after work/traffic. It was an amazing year, but we had a certain lifestyle and my old job had to pay me a year's salary (due to their shenanigans). When that went away, I found another job. I think I was built for it: I like cleaning, organizing, repairing things, cooking, and taking care of the kids. It was about 6am-7pm Monday-Friday and then weekends were pretty chill.
Load More Replies...I was legit confused for a second when I read "woman asks husband to be a tradwife." "That's not very traditional," I thought, "Oh, SHE wants to be a tradwife. Gotcha."
Tradwife really has nothing to do with this story at all. She wants to be a kept woman. A tradwife works her a*s off for a family. The fact that she was already looking at Sugar Daddy websites says what she was actually looking for, and that she was already checked out of the marriage. Hopefully she's super hot, because not a lot of pervy men with tons of money are looking for a 40 year old trophy wife.
Load More Replies...She sounds like she's suffering from burnout(NHS during the pandemic years, yikes), and in that vulnurable state got pulled into tradwife social media nonsense. To be honest, this is a pretty sad one.
Agree - lots of comments on "get out of it now mate", but less about "she sounds burnt out". But, she does sound like she's approaching it in a very childish way. *edit* [and isn't leaving him any options but to get out]
Load More Replies...She will get half of it in the divorce, whether it is sold now, or later. She will not be able to keep it.
Load More Replies..."trad wife does not mean bang maid android" of course it doesn't, the latter is far less worthless and doesn't spend all day on tiktok
What’s funny about these influencer “trad”wives…they are anything but submissive little wives. They run businesses, they work a ton. I mean, maybe they don’t use birth control and do stupid s**t like make cereal from scratch, but the trad wife thing is an illusion. When you are a homemaker you work all day, everyday. I’ve been a “trad” wife for 14 years. Not because my husband and I are religious weirdos who think I need to be some submissive mouse, but because I wanted to be a completely present wife and mom. That’s what matters to me most. Now that my kids are big, I’m in school finishing my education because a career is next. But yeah, being a stay at home wife and mom is a ton of work. That woman was a user, good for OP for giving her the flick.
I can't believe the trad wife movement is a thing. Like, I understand being a SAHM, but being a trad wife is never ending work from sunup till sundown. Not to mention, women fought for centuries NOT to be trad wives. What next, bringing back indentured servitude?
I think something happened to her. She's either physically ill (something affecting her brain) or something at her job. You don't go from brilliant to stupid that quickly unless some sort of trauma causes you to lose your faculties.
I'm mystified how someone in NHS management can walk into that sort of attitude. I get the burnout issue but they're so keen on equality etc.
Load More Replies...I knew a man who was an electrician who had a wife like that only she wanted to keep up with the Jones. Everything had to be bigger, better than anyone else she knew. They eventually had to file bankruptcy as well as divorce.
The ballerina trad-wife is married to a multi-millionare. Thus she can stay at home, raise the kids and keep the farm running. From what I understand the farm also has farm hands to help out. OP's wife doesn't want the "Little House on the Prairie" life (which if you think about it IS the traditional wife role). She wants the professional athlete wife role. All the money and fame and the opportunity to spend her man's money. (Again, not all are this way, but look at some of the Real Housewives.)
I’m an older woman and a little ,baffled. Do these women not realize how hard we had to work to get them bank accounts and options? Now they’ll throw away all of their financial security and freedom because someone on instagram says so?
This one is Really weird. Did something happen to her? She was in a highly successful role, I don't understand why she would want to drop to something so substandard and not rewarding. Looking affer a home is rewarding, but this fakery tråd wife c**p is not real. A traditional housewife did not work like this. There wasn't the money for hair and nails done. It was tight budgets and poverty. She needs psychiatric evaluation. Poor OP, he's really lost the woman he fell in love with, every aspect is gone. That must be so incredibly hard for him as well as the insane debt she's put him in
She sounds like a narcissist with a delusional level of entitlement. RUN! Be glad you don't have kids so you can forget she even exists.
If her job went anything like mine, I can understand her desire not to work especially after going through c**p mine pulled during the pandemic. However she's not coping with it or seeing reality. Obviously she started building a fantasy in her head about what it would be like to stay home. I was lucky enough to be able to stay home now and my husband covers expenses, but I take care of everything I can at home. I cook clean and take care of kids. I even make some of his medical appointments. He drives an older car so I refuse to pay for a cleaner until he can afford to get a nicer one. We have a reasonable mortgage we can afford off his income. We both work hard. We are partners!
An actual traditional wife lets her husband have the final say. A wise husband listens to her thoughts but ultimately makes the decision. Tell her no. Women who don’t have kids at home can work, just like some did in the twentieth century. With her mindset she would not be a successful “tradwife” anyway. (I know this is not a popular view these days. I’m 57 F, stayed at home to raise the kids, cleaned, cooked, shopped, did finances, etc…all that goes with it. Gave up new things and vacations to do it and worked part time at times when finances demanded it. Married 25 years.)
I've seen too many posts about men who refuse to work and still live in their parents' basements or their wives take care of them. I don't really see too much about that from women. The trad wife thing is crazy to me. I don't get it. I love to work. It makes me feel good about myself, especially when I accomplish something important. Sure, bosses and managers might suck, but I love to work. I assumed everyone did. And I'm getting up there. Retirement is in the next decade or two, and I don't want to do it. I want to keep working as long as I can.
"Some women think being a domestic housewife means a life of relaxation and no worries" I've never met a woman who believes this.
She is so delusional being a trad wife is a compromise and a life style sacrifice. I was a trad wife and wanted to do a lot of things which my husband was ok with . But I always wanted extra money todo things so I went back to work . I also felt my self getting bored at home I missed being around people
Is he being an ásshole? Yes. In this case, that is the appropriate thing for him to do, though.
What I find terribly amusing is that at 35 with a 100k salary he is still a catch. She at 40 and 50k (or 0) - not so much. She's gonna FAFO.
That was my thought when he said she'd changed. My mother went bonkers for a couple of years with the menopause. Add that to what Nicolas and John said about NHS burnout and you have a perfect storm. Not saying she's right, but it could be contributory.
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