We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with dating a person with a significant age difference. As long as you’re both consenting adults who are willing to make things work, you can turn your relationship into something for the long term.
But of course, such an arrangement has its complications, especially when dealing with someone who has a family. This was a harsh reality a woman faced when she randomly bumped into her older boyfriend’s grown son.
Scroll down for the entire story, as well as our brief conversations with a few experts who shared their insights about romantic relationships with wide age gaps.
RELATED:
A woman ran into some significant issues involving her older partner
Young woman having a meaningful conversation with her boyfriend’s grown son in a cozy café setting.
The random encounter caused her to have second thoughts about the relationship
Text discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and the confusing emotions it triggered.
Text reading: Tl;dr boyfriend's kid warned me at the bar. How to respond? Woman bumps into boyfriend’s grown son, receiving an unexpected wake-up call.
Whether you’re a man or a woman, being in a romantic relationship with a significant age gap can be challenging. But according to the experts we spoke with, women may have a harsher experience.
According to licensed psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a woman’s struggle within the relationship happens especially with an older partner, who will likely call the shots. This will lead to them suppressing their needs.
“There often is less of a partnership and more of a boss-employee dynamic,” Dr. Romanoff told Bored Panda.
From the outside, a woman may face judgment from society. As Dr. Romanoff noted, they may be branded and ridiculed for “being a gold-digger.” And when their intentions are constantly questioned, many women tend to struggle to gain social acceptance and find a safe space within the relationship.
Meanwhile, when a man dates an older woman, the struggle is often from within. According to licensed psychotherapist Joanna Kaminski, LMFT, a significant challenge would be their ego, which leads them to chase younger women to feel youthful again.
According to relationship specialist Byrd Aruna, men, in such cases, may even receive validation for having a younger partner. At the same time, the judgment that a woman may face could add unnecessary pressure to prove the relationship’s legitimacy.
People with significantly older or younger partners must know when to stay or let go
Having a partner who is much older or younger than you is already complicated enough. For some people, it puts the relationship on shaky ground from the start. Therefore, it is essential to know whether it is still worth staying in the relationship or leaving it.
Dr. Romanoff says the lack of willingness to compromise is a major dealbreaker and a telltale sign that a breakup is a better option.
“Look at their level of emotional investment in you. Are they more interested in having you by their side and focused on what you can provide them, or are they actively taking steps to be the partner you need?” she said, advising asking yourself such questions.
Both Aruna and Kaminski agree that the cessation of growth and the enjoyment of each other’s company are essential warning signs to take note of. It may occur when intimacy fades or one partner becomes overly dependent.
In the woman’s case, the father’s lack of emotional investment in his own son was a major red flag in itself. She may need to heed the son’s warning and rethink the relationship for her own sake.
The woman provided more information in the comments section
Online forum conversation about a woman bumping into boyfriend’s grown son and receiving a wake-up call.
Reddit post discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and a wake-up call in relationships with age gaps.
Text screenshot showing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son, leading to an unexpected wake-up call.
Readers shared their reactions, as some offered pieces of advice
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and receiving a surprising wake-up call.
Comment explaining age gap dynamics and a wake-up call received by a woman bumping into boyfriend’s grown son.
Comment discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son revealing harsh family and relationship truths.
Comment warning about predatory behavior involving woman, boyfriend, and his grown son, advising a wake-up call.
Text excerpt from a Reddit comment discussing family misunderstandings related to a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son.
Alt text: Online comment warning woman about maturity and relationship issues after bumping into boyfriend’s grown son.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing red flags involving a woman and her boyfriend’s grown son interaction.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment with 164 points discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son.
Woman surprised after bumping into boyfriend’s grown son, receiving an unexpected wake-up call about their relationship.
Screenshot of a comment advising to listen to the boyfriend’s grown son for a wake-up call in a relationship.
Text post discussing why men date younger women, highlighting the inability to identify with women their own age.
Comment discussing age differences between a woman, her boyfriend’s grown son, and his father in an online forum.
Screenshot of an online comment advising to trust the grown son’s perspective in a relationship wake-up call situation.
Comment discussing the importance of listening to a father’s grown son and mentioning women his own age.
Alt text: Woman bumps into boyfriend’s grown son leading to an unexpected wake-up call in a challenging relationship story
Comment about a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and receiving an unexpected wake-up call.
Comment about woman bumping into boyfriend’s grown son, discussing wake-up call and relationship challenges.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing age difference concerns in a relationship after woman bumps into boyfriend’s grown son.
Comment advising caution in a relationship after a woman bumps into her boyfriend’s grown son.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing advice after a woman bumps into her boyfriend’s grown son.
Comment discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and receiving an unexpected wake-up call.
Woman surprised after bumping into boyfriend’s grown son, experiencing an unexpected wake-up call.
Screenshot of an online comment stating "HUGE RED FLAG" in response to a story about a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son.
Screenshot of an online comment warning about potential red flags in relationships with significant age gaps.
Comment discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and facing unexpected concerns.
Text post discussing a younger woman dating a man and challenges with his grown son’s opinions.
The woman shared an update to her story
Woman looking concerned while talking to boyfriend’s grown son sitting with arms crossed on a couch at home
She provided more information by responding to follow-up comments
Screenshot of an online discussion about a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and receiving an unexpected wake-up call.
Screenshot of comments discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and a surprising wake-up call.
Comment discussion about age difference between a woman and her boyfriend’s grown son giving a wake-up call.
Likewise, people didn’t hold back with their reactions to the new developments
A Reddit comment discussing dating age gaps and issues faced by women dating older men and grown sons.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment praising someone who bought 10 copies of a band’s EP, showing positive interaction.
Comment expressing support for a woman bumping into boyfriend’s grown son and receiving a needed wake-up call.
Screenshot of an online comment humorously addressing age with the phrase not getting any younger at 27.
Comment from anon urging therapy and self-care after a woman bumps into her boyfriend’s grown son, calling it a wake-up call.
Screenshot of a social media comment discussing a woman’s wake-up call after bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son.
Comment on a post giving advice about handling a breakup and mistrust in a relationship with a boyfriend's grown son involved.
Alt text: Woman bumping into boyfriend’s grown son, facing an unexpected and eye-opening wake-up call.
Woman surprised after bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son, receiving an unexpected wake-up call in a casual setting
Woman bumps into boyfriend’s grown son, sparking a wake-up call about age gaps and maturity in relationships.
Comment on a forum discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and receiving an unexpected wake-up call.
Screenshot of a text comment discussing age as a red flag and caution about pursuing much older men in relationships.
Screenshot of an online comment reacting to a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son, highlighting a wake-up call moment.
Comment about woman bumping into boyfriend’s grown son and receiving an unexpected wake-up call about dating risks.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing the age gap dynamics between a woman and her boyfriend’s grown son.
Woman bumps into boyfriend’s grown son, receiving an unexpected wake-up call about their complicated relationship.
Comment text on a white background discussing age differences as a red flag in relationships involving a woman and her boyfriend’s grown son.
Comment on a forum post offering encouragement about aging and finding someone great, related to woman bumping into boyfriend's grown son.
Comment praising a woman for seeing the truth and moving on, highlighting her strength and right actions.
Text from a user describing feelings about a man acting helpful but being bitter toward family, reflecting on relationships and personal growth.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son and receiving a wake-up call.
Woman surprised after bumping into boyfriend’s grown son, receiving an unexpected wake-up call in a casual setting.
Commenter discussing age gap in relationships, reflecting on a woman bumping into her boyfriend’s grown son online.
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
In my spare time, I enjoy creating art - both in traditional and digital form, mainly in the form of painting and animation. Other interests include gaming and music. Favorite bands include Swans, The Strokes, The Beatles.
In my spare time, I enjoy creating art - both in traditional and digital form, mainly in the form of painting and animation. Other interests include gaming and music. Favorite bands include Swans, The Strokes, The Beatles.
Obviously the guy is a sleaze bag, but it’s idiocy to ascribe that to the age gap. It’s just as likely that a 27 year old guy would exhibit toxic behavior and cheat. Those generalizations are dumb and harmful, because they miss the point and obfuscate the truth.
To me, the most worrying part of the initial story wasn't their ages (as she's 27, not 17), but the one word "whirlwind". Whenever anyone talks about a whirlwind romance, I just know it will end in tears. Narcists are experts at love bombing / whirlwind romances. If you are aiming to spend your life with someone, take it slowly and get to know them.
That and the “I think I would know if he were like that” both stopped me in my tracks. She doesn’t come across as 27, but more like 18. You know: Really wet behind the ears. (It’s either that or she’s no Einstein, to put it kindly.) Teenagers always think they’re so smart, and it’s not until 25-30 where you discover you know a WHOOOLE lot less than you thought you did, and she sounds zactly like one of those teens. That means that functionally, their age gap is more like 31 years, and that makes it all the more ooky because it smacks of pedoishness. I see a few very hard and very painful relationships in her future before she smartens up and finds the right one. I just hope she lives long enough to find him! (Or her!)
Yeah, I found it interesting that she felt like she knew he was a generous person after a 3 month whirlwind (more so than his son who had known him for almost 20 years).
Obviously the guy is a sleaze bag, but it’s idiocy to ascribe that to the age gap. It’s just as likely that a 27 year old guy would exhibit toxic behavior and cheat. Those generalizations are dumb and harmful, because they miss the point and obfuscate the truth.
To me, the most worrying part of the initial story wasn't their ages (as she's 27, not 17), but the one word "whirlwind". Whenever anyone talks about a whirlwind romance, I just know it will end in tears. Narcists are experts at love bombing / whirlwind romances. If you are aiming to spend your life with someone, take it slowly and get to know them.
That and the “I think I would know if he were like that” both stopped me in my tracks. She doesn’t come across as 27, but more like 18. You know: Really wet behind the ears. (It’s either that or she’s no Einstein, to put it kindly.) Teenagers always think they’re so smart, and it’s not until 25-30 where you discover you know a WHOOOLE lot less than you thought you did, and she sounds zactly like one of those teens. That means that functionally, their age gap is more like 31 years, and that makes it all the more ooky because it smacks of pedoishness. I see a few very hard and very painful relationships in her future before she smartens up and finds the right one. I just hope she lives long enough to find him! (Or her!)
Yeah, I found it interesting that she felt like she knew he was a generous person after a 3 month whirlwind (more so than his son who had known him for almost 20 years).
31
35