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Delusional Friend Of 22 Years Asks For Financial Support As She Wants To Quit Her Job And Travel
Woman sad on phone, wearing glasses and white sweater, upset as she ends a 22-year-long friendship after a request

Delusional Friend Of 22 Years Asks For Financial Support As She Wants To Quit Her Job And Travel

Interview With Expert

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It has been said that the first sign of civilization was a healed broken bone found in an ancient human skeleton — meaning that someone once cared for an injured person and protected them. This proved that humans are naturally capable of compassion and social bonding.

In today’s world, it can mean paying for a meal for a friend, listening to them when they want to vent, or even lending money when they need it. It is these little things that show we can count on each other.

But a friend can only do so much, and often there comes a tipping point.

A woman who recently lost her husband shared a similar tale about one of her friends. She spent years being there for her friend, who frequently leaves her long voice notes constantly complaining about her own life and her job.

But the breaking point for her came when the friend asked for financial support to cover a few months. No timeline, no plan, just a voice note.

It was the kind of thing that made her pause and question: when do you say yes, and when do you finally say enough?

RELATED:

    Even the closest friendships can be hurt without clear boundaries

    Two women, one visibly sad wiping tears, reflecting the pain of ending a long friendship after an unhinged request.

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    Helping friends is natural, but it can also make you feel overwhelmed

    Woman looking sad and thoughtful, reflecting on ending a 22-year-long friendship after an unhinged request

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    Woman sad ending a 22-year-long friendship after friend’s unhinged financial support request via voice note

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    Some friends just don’t understand boundaries

    Woman sad and frustrated on phone call, wearing glasses and holding a pen, ending long friendship after unhinged request.

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    Woman sad about ending a 22-year-long friendship after friend’s unhinged request causing emotional distress.

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    Woman sad ending a 22-year-long friendship after friend’s unhinged request about business investment

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    Text excerpt showing a woman expressing sadness over ending a 22-year-long friendship after a friend’s unhinged request.

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    Two women having a serious conversation, highlighting the emotion of a woman sad about ending a long friendship.

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    Honest conversations can protect friendships, stop unnecessary fights

    Helping others can strengthen bonds but without boundaries, it can often lead to resentment or burnout. Even long-standing friendships need clear limits to stay healthy.

    “It can be really hard to set boundaries in friendships — this is someone you care about and want to support. But you also cannot pour from an empty glass, and we all need breaks or reach our limits,” clinical psychologist and author Dr Amy Marschall, Psy.D., tells Bored Panda.

    “If you find yourself resenting your friend or dreading your interactions, that might mean that you need a break. It is better to take a break than to bottle that feeling up and lash out,” she adds.

    She says friendships are meant to be reciprocal. “If the balance never shifts, if the person seems to always need more and more from you without having the capacity to give back, that might mean that the balance is off and there is a need to set some boundaries.”

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    Recent surveys also show that money is a major reason for arguments in personal relationships.

    According to a 2025 study, 41% of Americans say they have had tension with a friend over money, while 36% admit a friendship has even ended because of it.

    “Of the 77% of Americans who’ve lent money to a friend, 19% say it affected their friendship negatively the last time they did and 32% didn’t get their money back,” the study shows.

    Matt Schultz, a financial analyst at LendingTree that did this study, told KJRH-TV, Oklahoma, that much of the tension and problems around money and friendship could be avoided with a simple, honest conversation upfront.

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    He also said that sometimes it is okay to refuse a friend’s request for money, and if they are your true friends, they will understand.

    Dr Marschall echoed the sentiment, saying: “A friend who truly cares about you will want you to get your needs met even if the boundary means that you cannot support them like you have in the past.”

    “If you have struggled to set boundaries in the past, some people take advantage of that and might not like that you are setting them now. In that case, the person is not truly a friend to you,” she adds.

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    Internet shows sympathy, asks her to set clear boundaries

    Text message showing a woman sad she has to end a 22-year-long friendship after an unhinged request for money.

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    Comment expressing sympathy for a woman sad about ending a 22-year friendship after friend’s unhinged request.

    Alt text: Woman sad about ending a 22-year-long friendship due to friend’s unhinged request, reflecting on betrayal and disappointment

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    Woman sad ending a long friendship after a friend’s unhinged request, showing emotional distress and disappointment.

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    Text screenshot of a user expressing sympathy and setting boundaries after a loss, reflecting a woman sad ending a long friendship.

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    The consensus was clear: saying no doesn’t make her a bad friend

    Text post showing a woman sad about ending a 22-year-long friendship after an unhinged request from her friend.

    Sad woman reflecting on ending a 22-year-long friendship after friend’s unhinged money request in a private message.

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    Woman sad and thoughtful, reflecting on ending a 22-year-long friendship after an unhinged request from friend

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    Woman sad ending a 22-year-long friendship after friend’s unreasonable and unhinged request causing emotional distress.

    Text post by Glittertwins expressing refusal to financially support anyone outside of children, reflecting emotional strain in a long-term friendship.

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    Woman sad ending a 22-year-long friendship after dealing with an unhinged request and emotional vulnerability.

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    Woman feeling sad and conflicted about ending a 22-year-long friendship after extreme request from friend.

    Text post stating no to losing both money and friend, reflecting woman sad ending a 22-year-long friendship after unhinged request.

    The conversation with the friend didn’t end there

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    What came next only deepened her disappointment

    Alt text: Sad woman reflecting sadly on ending a 22-year-long friendship after friend’s unhinged request and betrayal

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    Woman sad ending a 22-year-long friendship after friend makes an unhinged request, feeling hurt and disappointed.

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    Ridhima Shukla

    Ridhima Shukla

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Ridhima Shukla

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    What do you think ?
    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gross. Money brings out the worst in people. Money and children (referring to the latter in divorce situations, not generally).

    LaurieAnnaT
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easy response: “I’m sorry, but that’s not in my budget.”

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just say "No, I'm sorry, I'm not in any position to fund your midlife crisis. But good luck with it". Talk about absolutely delusional entitlement beyond all reason.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t think entitlement is the right word here; I’d use “audacity,” “gall,” and “lack of character.” Asking a grieving widow to support this jerk flouncing around the world while trying to save her OWN money beggars belief! My dad once asked me for money, so I began sending him $300/month (this was in the 80s), and after I’d sent more than $5000, my financial advisor asked me what it was for. I asked my mom to find out for me. Turns out he was buying scratch-off lottery tickets! 😳 He’s always said how he’d love win the lottery; he’d buy a big house for us all (my two sisters and me and my mom who was his ex-wife at that point) to live with. I’d hafta excuse myself to go to the bathroom to laugh because the LAST thing ANY of us wanted was to live with him again! As he’s the assholiest of all аssholes, everyone runs from him as fast as possible so he literally has NO one in his life, but dreamed that we’d all wanna live with him! 😳 People and their delusions!

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She had her own savings all along. I want to smack this b***h up myself.

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes appalling isn't it. Had her own money but wanted someone else's to fund her flight of fancy.

    Load More Replies...
    Nancy Whiting
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I had the extra funds to do that, I'd do it for myself.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is definitely one of those cases where "No" is a complete sentence. Someone who asks like that doesn't deserve any explanation and will probably try to find a way around / through any explanation.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does cf mean it’s one shorthand I can’t work out lol . I’m glad she dumped this selfish self absorbed biatch . Op I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband , lovely , grief is highly personal and there is no limit on how long it takes , u also have to go through several steps to go thru it. Each one can’t take as long as YOU NEED , this woman is such a leech , and you are better off without mates like THAT biatch , blessed be x ps NO is a complete sentence lol

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm guessing, but maybe cluster fu ck, though I've normally heard that used about a situation, not often about a person.

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone who hates voice messages with a passion: They should have an actual conversation here so OP can a) tell her she can't and won't do this and b) talk about her feelings and expectations in a friendship. If that doesn't change the perpective and the friend remains oblivious and entitled, then yes, time to end this.

    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my mom passed several years ago, my husband's family asked for money thinking I got a lot of insurance payout (there wasn't insurance). When my husband passed earlier this yea, his family told me that he once told them if something happened to him, I would be "okay". I am "okay" - my house is paid for, I have a good job, he had a good retirement fund that I've rolled into mine, his medical bills were covered, and I got a little bit more that is being entirely spent on house repairs he had not gotten to himself. His family took "okay" to mean something very different. I've been asked for his car (for free, of course) and to provide housing/financial assistance for a family member. All while I'm scaling back my own expenses and trying to figure out my own life. Death makes too many people try to figure out "what's in it for ME?"

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry for your loss. It's sad who comes out of the woodwork when you are grieving and they think its the perfect time to scam someone out of money and belongings, because their 'need' is more important than your actual grief.

    Load More Replies...
    Roger Sleeth
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not a friend. That will be a freeloader. Tell her no like you did the other friend asking for money.

    Eliza
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry this happened to you while you're grieving.

    Jessica Giglio
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asking for something like that via voice note is rude. Not acknowledging your situation is rude. The cherry on that c**p cake is the I'm gonna do it anyway - without acknowledging the first two points would infuriate anyone. Horrible all over this.

    Liz Rutherford
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd be sarcastic af. "Let me look *few seconds later* Ah, I see that "give money to X isn't in the budget well, forever."

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IDC if I won the lottery and was showboating on FB with a tiara and scepter...NO! I'M NOT FUNDING YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN TRAVEL...wouldn't do that for my own blood much less a "friend"...people these days

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ditch this woman - she had money and still asked this poor woman for more because her husband passed.

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You learn the hard way how devious people can be when you need them the most. Had an aunt show up to 'help' when my Dad was dying. She came to help herself to anything she thought she could have being he wasn't going to need them in death.

    Sylvain
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When someone shows you who they are, accept it as it is, not as what you want it to be. She has shown you her priorities and values. Accept that and decide how to respond according to your own values.

    Karen Kempler
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No" is a complete sentence. If she pushes or asks why not, just say that it's not in your budget. Any further feel free to tell her that your finances are none of her business and you'll know she isn't your friend, at which point you aren't required to consider her feelings.

    Peripheral Visionary
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have literally been laughed at for my frugal ways and hard working nature and I 've had some of those people come to me looking for money later on. Never lend to na'er do wells.

    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gross. Money brings out the worst in people. Money and children (referring to the latter in divorce situations, not generally).

    LaurieAnnaT
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easy response: “I’m sorry, but that’s not in my budget.”

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just say "No, I'm sorry, I'm not in any position to fund your midlife crisis. But good luck with it". Talk about absolutely delusional entitlement beyond all reason.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t think entitlement is the right word here; I’d use “audacity,” “gall,” and “lack of character.” Asking a grieving widow to support this jerk flouncing around the world while trying to save her OWN money beggars belief! My dad once asked me for money, so I began sending him $300/month (this was in the 80s), and after I’d sent more than $5000, my financial advisor asked me what it was for. I asked my mom to find out for me. Turns out he was buying scratch-off lottery tickets! 😳 He’s always said how he’d love win the lottery; he’d buy a big house for us all (my two sisters and me and my mom who was his ex-wife at that point) to live with. I’d hafta excuse myself to go to the bathroom to laugh because the LAST thing ANY of us wanted was to live with him again! As he’s the assholiest of all аssholes, everyone runs from him as fast as possible so he literally has NO one in his life, but dreamed that we’d all wanna live with him! 😳 People and their delusions!

    Load More Replies...
    KatSaidThat
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She had her own savings all along. I want to smack this b***h up myself.

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes appalling isn't it. Had her own money but wanted someone else's to fund her flight of fancy.

    Load More Replies...
    Nancy Whiting
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I had the extra funds to do that, I'd do it for myself.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is definitely one of those cases where "No" is a complete sentence. Someone who asks like that doesn't deserve any explanation and will probably try to find a way around / through any explanation.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does cf mean it’s one shorthand I can’t work out lol . I’m glad she dumped this selfish self absorbed biatch . Op I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband , lovely , grief is highly personal and there is no limit on how long it takes , u also have to go through several steps to go thru it. Each one can’t take as long as YOU NEED , this woman is such a leech , and you are better off without mates like THAT biatch , blessed be x ps NO is a complete sentence lol

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm guessing, but maybe cluster fu ck, though I've normally heard that used about a situation, not often about a person.

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone who hates voice messages with a passion: They should have an actual conversation here so OP can a) tell her she can't and won't do this and b) talk about her feelings and expectations in a friendship. If that doesn't change the perpective and the friend remains oblivious and entitled, then yes, time to end this.

    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my mom passed several years ago, my husband's family asked for money thinking I got a lot of insurance payout (there wasn't insurance). When my husband passed earlier this yea, his family told me that he once told them if something happened to him, I would be "okay". I am "okay" - my house is paid for, I have a good job, he had a good retirement fund that I've rolled into mine, his medical bills were covered, and I got a little bit more that is being entirely spent on house repairs he had not gotten to himself. His family took "okay" to mean something very different. I've been asked for his car (for free, of course) and to provide housing/financial assistance for a family member. All while I'm scaling back my own expenses and trying to figure out my own life. Death makes too many people try to figure out "what's in it for ME?"

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry for your loss. It's sad who comes out of the woodwork when you are grieving and they think its the perfect time to scam someone out of money and belongings, because their 'need' is more important than your actual grief.

    Load More Replies...
    Roger Sleeth
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not a friend. That will be a freeloader. Tell her no like you did the other friend asking for money.

    Eliza
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry this happened to you while you're grieving.

    Jessica Giglio
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asking for something like that via voice note is rude. Not acknowledging your situation is rude. The cherry on that c**p cake is the I'm gonna do it anyway - without acknowledging the first two points would infuriate anyone. Horrible all over this.

    Liz Rutherford
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd be sarcastic af. "Let me look *few seconds later* Ah, I see that "give money to X isn't in the budget well, forever."

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IDC if I won the lottery and was showboating on FB with a tiara and scepter...NO! I'M NOT FUNDING YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN TRAVEL...wouldn't do that for my own blood much less a "friend"...people these days

    Lee Gilliland
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ditch this woman - she had money and still asked this poor woman for more because her husband passed.

    Littlemiss
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You learn the hard way how devious people can be when you need them the most. Had an aunt show up to 'help' when my Dad was dying. She came to help herself to anything she thought she could have being he wasn't going to need them in death.

    Sylvain
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When someone shows you who they are, accept it as it is, not as what you want it to be. She has shown you her priorities and values. Accept that and decide how to respond according to your own values.

    Karen Kempler
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No" is a complete sentence. If she pushes or asks why not, just say that it's not in your budget. Any further feel free to tell her that your finances are none of her business and you'll know she isn't your friend, at which point you aren't required to consider her feelings.

    Peripheral Visionary
    Community Member
    1 week ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have literally been laughed at for my frugal ways and hard working nature and I 've had some of those people come to me looking for money later on. Never lend to na'er do wells.

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