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“In Shock”: Woman Is Upset After Bride-To-Be Asks Her To Pay For Her Own Bridesmaid’s Dress
It’s an honor to be invited to a destination wedding. But this doesn’t change the fact that they can be incredibly expensive. And if the happy couple also demands that you dress a certain way, it can further eat into your savings. It’s a nightmare if you’re on a tight budget.
A frustrated woman, on a low income, took to Mumsnet to vent about a friend’s upcoming wedding abroad. She shared how the bride-to-be asked all the bridesmaids to wear a certain type of dress, something that she could barely afford.
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Destination weddings can be super expensive. If you’re on an extremely tight budget, every expense counts
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One bridesmaid shared her frustrations with having to buy a pricey dress for a wedding abroad. Here’s her story
Image credits: AMISH THAKKAR / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: confusedlady10
Image credits: Karola G / Pexels (not the actual photo)
If money is tight, you have to be realistic about your budget. Don’t go into debt just to keep up appearances
The reality is that there isn’t just one single tradition when it comes to the bride’s family paying for bridesmaids’ dresses at Indian weddings. Traditions can vary from family to family and region to region. So, there shouldn’t be any blanket expectations that the bride will fund your clothing purchases.
That being said, it’s also a big ask for the bride-to-be to (gently) pressure others into buying the specific, expensive bridesmaids’ dresses that she has picked out.
If you have a particular aesthetic in mind, the generous thing to do would be to gift the dresses… seeing as the guests are already flying across the world for the wedding and all. Then again, funding and organizing a wedding is expensive, and the happy couple’s budget might not allow for it.
It’s natural to want to impress others. We all want to be respected, liked, admired, and so on, because we’re social animals.
It’s vital that you’re realistic about what you can and cannot afford, no matter if you’re a guest or getting married. Social pressure and societal expectations are massively important factors, yes. However, going into debt for the sake of a wedding can lead to a ton of financial problems down the line.
Be realistic about your budget. If you can’t afford the travel costs, clothes, lodgings, gifts, etc., the smart thing to do would be to apologize and say that you can’t attend. Sure, admitting this can be embarrassing, but if times are tough, you have to make sacrifices.
Alternatively, if you feel like there’s no way that you can skip the wedding, you can look for ways to make your current savings go further.
Maybe you get your flights ahead of time, on a massive sale, and with some not-so-convenient layovers. Maybe you accidentally find a fabulous outfit that’s discounted. Maybe you opt for a slightly cheaper hotel and wedding gifts that aren’t top-of-the-line. Maybe you don’t go all-out on makeup and at the hair salon.
Image credits: Alok Verma / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Bridesmaids’ dresses can cost quite a bit of money, especially if you’re attending a traditional Indian wedding
As per Zola, the average cost of a bridesmaid’s dress is roughly $150. Meanwhile, The Knot notes that the average bridesmaid’s dress costs around $128.
However, Indian weddings can set you back even more. According to The Knot, being an Indian wedding bridesmaid can set you back between $100 and $800 per outfit.
“For bridesmaids, while you can choose a Western-style dress for the pre- or post-wedding activities, traditional Indian culture invites guests to get the full experience, which includes donning a lehenga or saree. Lehengas come in two pieces, typically a cropped top and a full skirt. A saree is a long wrap that encompasses the body, often made of silk and is preferred by families from western and southern India.”
The fact is, your bridesmaids are going to have different budgets, body types, and styles. So, if you want them to be comfortable, you might want to let them pick out their own outfits.
“Luckily, mismatched dresses are becoming much more popular (and create a chic wedding party look), so no one will bat an eye or wonder why your bridesmaids aren’t matching from head to toe. Give them guidelines (such as colors, fabric, and/or length) or pull together some options you love in different price ranges,” Zola suggests.
Alternatively, there’s always the option to rent dresses so that they’re more affordable.
Though aesthetics are important, “Try to remember that no matter what your wedding party wears, the day will still be special,” Zola reminds happy couples.
The end goal isn’t having a perfectly color-coordinated party, but to celebrate the union between two people.
What do you think, Pandas? Have you ever been to a destination wedding before? How would you feel if the happy couple insisted that you buy an expensive outfit? What do you do to stay mindful of your budget when going to weddings? Let us know what you think in the comments below.
The author answered people’s questions and shared more information in the comments of her post
The internet weighed in with various perspectives. Here’s what people said about the woman’s sensitive situation
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What do you think ?
Caro 1 month ago
You are a single mum on low income. You got a small bonus from work, but it's not enough to pay the whole event, so you took out a credit card to pay the rest. For a friend's wedding. I have just one question : are you stupid? Can someone explain this?
Papa 1 month ago (edited)
I can't explain it. I was struck by the reply above saying she shouldn't go into debt for this wedding, and she said she wasn't going into debt, but some of it was going on a credit card. Does this woman not understand what debt means?
Load More Replies...
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
I think the rule should always be if specific clothing is required, the bride should pay. So if the bride wants all the bridesmaids to be in the same dress, the bride should pay. But if the requirement is, say, to "wear a blue dress," it's okay to ask the bridesmaids to pay because they can then find something in their budget that they're comfortable in. Incidentally, I also feel the same about school or work uniforms. A business should pay if they want everyone dressed the same, but if the rule is just "work appropriate," it's okay to expect employees to pay for their own clothes.
Caro 1 month ago
You are a single mum on low income. You got a small bonus from work, but it's not enough to pay the whole event, so you took out a credit card to pay the rest. For a friend's wedding. I have just one question : are you stupid? Can someone explain this?
Papa 1 month ago (edited)
I can't explain it. I was struck by the reply above saying she shouldn't go into debt for this wedding, and she said she wasn't going into debt, but some of it was going on a credit card. Does this woman not understand what debt means?
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 1 month ago
I think the rule should always be if specific clothing is required, the bride should pay. So if the bride wants all the bridesmaids to be in the same dress, the bride should pay. But if the requirement is, say, to "wear a blue dress," it's okay to ask the bridesmaids to pay because they can then find something in their budget that they're comfortable in. Incidentally, I also feel the same about school or work uniforms. A business should pay if they want everyone dressed the same, but if the rule is just "work appropriate," it's okay to expect employees to pay for their own clothes.
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