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Parents Pay For Son While Charging Daughter $10k In “Back Rent”, She Gets Revenge On Thanksgiving
Parents Pay For Son While Charging Daughter $10k In “Back Rent”, She Gets Revenge On Thanksgiving
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Parents Pay For Son While Charging Daughter $10k In “Back Rent”, She Gets Revenge On Thanksgiving

Interview With Author

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Favoritism in the family is one of the easiest ways to turn siblings against each other. After all, most of us want to be accepted and loved by our parents and that can be pretty hard if the rules are entirely different for someone else. What can make it worse is the fact that they often don’t even realize what they are doing.

A woman got tired from her parents’ constant, blatant favoritism towards her brother, so she decided to skip out on a Thanksgiving cruise without telling them. We got in touch with her and she was willing to answer some of our questions. Later, she also shared a sizable update.

RELATED:

    Parental favoritism will drive a wedge between family members

    Woman embracing a family member, expressing contemplation, possibly related to a last-minute cruise cancellation decision.

    Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    So one woman decided to skip a family Thanksgiving cruise because of how she was being treated

    Text of a woman explaining a last-minute family cruise cancellation scenario.

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    Text image of familial favoritism, discussing issues of fairness between siblings.

    Text highlighting frustration over family expectations and double standards.

    Text expressing frustration about unequal parental financial support, highlighting family dynamics.

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    Text highlighting a woman's experience with insurance and job benefits compared to her brother.

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    Woman looking thoughtful on sofa, contemplating last-minute family cruise cancellation.

    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Text about a woman who cancels a family cruise, citing past financial issues and unfair family treatment.

    Text about a woman upset over buying her own cruise ticket while family got theirs paid.

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    Text about a woman canceling a last-minute family cruise due to unfair treatment regarding room assignments.

    Woman in distress reading on her phone, possibly about a last-minute cancellation of a family cruise.

    Image credits: Andy Vult / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Text on a light background describing a woman's decision to cancel a last-minute family cruise.

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    Text exchange about woman canceling last-minute cruise plans for Thanksgiving with boyfriend instead.

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    Text about a woman's last-minute decision to cancel a family cruise, including her friends' opinions on the matter.

    Text questioning a woman's decision to cancel a last-minute family cruise vacation.

    Image credits: throwra-vacay

    Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    The woman shared her thoughts on the story’s popularity

    Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who shared the story and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. The story ended up having over 15k upvotes and she later even posted an update, which can be found below, so we were curious to hear how she felt about the post’s popularity.

    “I’m honestly surprised my post received so much attention! I guess it spoke to people because many others have also dealt with favoritism from their parents, and it’s a crushing feeling to know you will never matter as much as the golden child,” she shared.

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    We also wanted to hear her thoughts on the outpouring of support, as well as debates that raged in the comments section. “The comments that told me I did the right thing made me feel much better about my decision, and those posting their own similar stories made me feel much less alone!”

    At the end of the day, it did at least help her get it out. “Making this post really opened my eyes to how this treatment is not normal. There is an update, which I am about to post. That should cover everything so I do not believe there is anything I’d like to add! I hope this message isn’t too late and that it was helpful,” she shared with Bored Panda.

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    Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Being a parent’s favorite does come with its own downsides

    While it might not look like it from the sidelines, even being crowned the “golden child” is ultimately not good for a person’s development. In this story we already know that the son appears to be less independent and has not progressed as far in his career. While we can’t say for certain, having everything handed to you has a way of stunting ambition and ability.

    Children are very aware of injustice, which makes sense when they are dependent on others for everything they have. Even the smallest bit of favoritism is immediately visible and often internalized. Being the less-favorite child tends to come with a lot of psychological burdens, as these kids develop self-esteem issues, anxiety and are often at higher risk of depression.

    While some parents might make excuses or even justify their actions, they are also harming the relationships of both siblings, which deprives two people (at minimum) of a possible close friend. It’s selfish and cruel and it’s particularly telling that the parents see the woman’s actions as being part of a “grudge” against her brother (as described in the update) and not the direct result of her own actions.

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    Fortunately for her, she does have an understanding and supportive partner, which is a key part of not feeling abandoned and isolated. Similarly, while we don’t have the details, one can hope that her parents take a good hard look at the situation and think about why she did what she did. In a perfect world, they will perhaps even understand why their actions were cruel and that they need to make amends.

    Many thought her actions were reasonable

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman's decision to cancel a family cruise.

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    Text screenshot of a supportive comment about a woman canceling a last-minute family cruise due to unequal treatment.

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    Screenshot of a comment discussing a woman canceling a last-minute family cruise decision.

    Comment discussing a woman's decision to cancel a last-minute family cruise.

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    Text exchange with a commenter stating, "You did not cancel anything, you're just not going.

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    Text advice on handling unsupportive family after last-minute cruise cancellation.

    Comment discussing the right to cancel a last-minute family cruise invitation.

    Comment on a forum discussing a woman's last-minute family cruise cancellation.

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    A Reddit user shares an opinion about a last-minute family cruise cancellation.

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    Reddit comment about a woman canceling a last-minute family cruise plan.

    Comment about a woman canceling a last-minute family cruise, praising her patience.

    Comment discussing toxic family dynamics and favoritism, leading to a woman canceling family cruise.

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    Text screenshot discussing a woman's decision to cancel a last-minute family cruise, emphasizing self-worth and new traditions.

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    Social media comment about a woman canceling last-minute family cruise with advice for a better vacation alternative.

    Comment discussing setting boundaries after canceling a last-minute family cruise.

    A few thought she could have handled it better

    Screenshot of a discussion about a woman canceling a last-minute family cruise, expressing frustration and advice.

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    Comment on woman's last-minute family cruise cancellation decision.

    Screenshot of a comment criticizing a woman for canceling a family cruise at the last minute.

    Screenshot of a comment about a woman cancelling a last-minute family cruise, expressing strong disapproval.

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    Later, she shared an update

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    What do you think ?
    Traveling Lady Railfan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sweetie here's the thing.... And I'm saying this not necessarily to OP as she's probably not on here but anyone who's got a similar situation... #1You didn't ruin your parents/brother's vacation. It's not like you were their ride to the cruise and with you not showing up they didn't get there on time. #2 maybe they realize maybe they don't but treating one child like The Golden child and another child like Cinderella really does no good. Your brother will be spoiled and have an unrealistic expectation about his greatness and you will always feel bitter / second best / unhappy. #3 your boyfriend and his family sound like wonderful people. You can't choose a family that you're born into but you can choose family. Keep doing what you're doing, and whatever happens with this fella, soak in the positive vibes from his parents and extended family because they sound very healthy and positive. Don't try to reconnect with those that makes you miserable. Embrace your new family and be happy

    Rathoren
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You weren't writing it to me but i needed this tonight and am now crying. Thank you <3

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP's parents have showed her for years who they really are. If she goes NC + blocks their numbers, I say - good riddance. You *know* when they get older they'll harass OP for money for their "elder care" while James won't have to lift a finger. Block them now + be done with them.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dealing with elderly parents is tough. If they're a$$holes (hi, Dad!), it's absolute hell.

    Load More Replies...
    Lisa T
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cut ties, or at least set boundaries in regards to if they pay for James, they pay for you. They are enabling James by paying for everything. Why would he bother getting a job etc if his parents are giving him enough that he can afford to buy a $2000 dog? if I were her, I’d type out a huge email stating that I am cutting ties for these reasons - put in all the stuff like being charged back rent of $10k, the way she was treated compared to her brother, then email it to everyone - grandparents, aunts/uncles etc. That way there can be no twisting of the story

    Kathrin Pukowsky
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought about that, too. It's not like the contact information of OP's extended family is top secret. OP doesn't even necessarily need to bring up that and why they're going no/low contact with the parents, they can just stay in touch. Actions speak louder than words, and while the parents can spin the story to their liking, other relatives will start doubting it when they see that OP is not simply jealous, but deeply hurt.

    Load More Replies...
    Space Invader
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the mother defends her atrocious behaviour by claiming to have raised a "self-sufficient" daughter, OP should have asked why she isn't extending the same courtesy to the brother. And then show her what "self-sufficient" really means and cut her off. Choose the people that value you.

    Sera
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom also prided herself on having raised a "self-sufficient" daughter, until I pointed out she hadn't raised me to be confident in relying on myself, just to know unequivocally that I couldn't rely on her for help, no matter how much I needed it. I was very much being neglected, and thankfully she does much better with my youngest sibling. She got better, but I doubt OP's parents ever will.

    Load More Replies...
    Alexa Saltz
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are the "identified patient" (AKA the scapegoat, black sheep, "it", etc.) in a highly disfunctional family. One or both parents are narcissistic and your brother is the "golden child"/flying monkey. You will never be validated, vindicated, nor valued. Ever. Go no contact. Good luck.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They'll be back, just to get a reaction. That's what they're after and she just keeps on feeding them. FFS, ditch them and the baggage.

    Kit Black
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No they'll be back because the new plan is to use her money to pay for their son - that's why they demanded the 10k in ~back rent~ just before going on a cruise...

    Load More Replies...
    Heather Menard
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go no contact trust me I am in the same situation. It never changes just go NC for your well being. Trust me I know.

    Amanduh
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Put in for a job transfer if possible and get the hell out of there. Always use the phrase ‘green isn’t a good color on you’ when your toxic family tries to guilt you out of doing so. Geezuz what pukes!!

    Tom De Paul
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about the boyfriend and his family? Creating distance doesn't require physical movement of any kind.

    Load More Replies...
    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The so-called mother sounds *incredibly* manipulative, playing these sick mind-games with the daughter she clearly doesn't give a rat's rear about. F**k her.

    FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel bad for OP and she definitely needs to cut them all off, for good or until there has been a significant change. I have a feeling and I really hope it's not the case but I'm wondering if that $10k that they made the daughter pay them for back rent, funded the trip and paid for the brothers and his girlfriends tickets/trip? I can't stand when families favor some of their kids over the other(s). I have been given the role as the phuckup in the fam, yet I've never been in any legal trouble/arrested yet my middle sister got caught with weed when she was 17/18 and was on probation, but she can do no wrong. My youngest sister literally got away with everything. My dad decided to give my sister my car, while I was in the military, it was in his name since I was 17 when it was purchased but I paid for it. It was only 6/7 years old, Honda Civic in great condition and my sister sold it for $1,000, so her and her bf, at the time, could buy coke with it.🤬

    FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I was the phuckup bc I was injured while in the military and ended up getting addicted to pain meds. At one point the Navy doc was prescribing me 75 Percocets a week. I'm pretty sure most people would have gotten hooked, given that amount for over a year. I have since struggled with addiction due to living in chronic pain and I would use to help cope with all the trauma I've dealt with. My family seems to forget everything my sisters have done, I only gave one example for each, but I will forever be the "white sheep" (my siblings got more of the Native American complexion than me) in my family. I will have 3 years clean in a few months, I live on my own with just my cat and pay for everything by myself. Yet I feel like I will always be seen as the phuckup no matter what I do. I have very limited contact with either parent and no contact with either sister, currently and sometimes I miss them but it's for the better. Sorry for the rambling. If you got this far, thanks for reading.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Traveling Lady Railfan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sweetie here's the thing.... And I'm saying this not necessarily to OP as she's probably not on here but anyone who's got a similar situation... #1You didn't ruin your parents/brother's vacation. It's not like you were their ride to the cruise and with you not showing up they didn't get there on time. #2 maybe they realize maybe they don't but treating one child like The Golden child and another child like Cinderella really does no good. Your brother will be spoiled and have an unrealistic expectation about his greatness and you will always feel bitter / second best / unhappy. #3 your boyfriend and his family sound like wonderful people. You can't choose a family that you're born into but you can choose family. Keep doing what you're doing, and whatever happens with this fella, soak in the positive vibes from his parents and extended family because they sound very healthy and positive. Don't try to reconnect with those that makes you miserable. Embrace your new family and be happy

    Rathoren
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You weren't writing it to me but i needed this tonight and am now crying. Thank you <3

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP's parents have showed her for years who they really are. If she goes NC + blocks their numbers, I say - good riddance. You *know* when they get older they'll harass OP for money for their "elder care" while James won't have to lift a finger. Block them now + be done with them.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dealing with elderly parents is tough. If they're a$$holes (hi, Dad!), it's absolute hell.

    Load More Replies...
    Lisa T
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cut ties, or at least set boundaries in regards to if they pay for James, they pay for you. They are enabling James by paying for everything. Why would he bother getting a job etc if his parents are giving him enough that he can afford to buy a $2000 dog? if I were her, I’d type out a huge email stating that I am cutting ties for these reasons - put in all the stuff like being charged back rent of $10k, the way she was treated compared to her brother, then email it to everyone - grandparents, aunts/uncles etc. That way there can be no twisting of the story

    Kathrin Pukowsky
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought about that, too. It's not like the contact information of OP's extended family is top secret. OP doesn't even necessarily need to bring up that and why they're going no/low contact with the parents, they can just stay in touch. Actions speak louder than words, and while the parents can spin the story to their liking, other relatives will start doubting it when they see that OP is not simply jealous, but deeply hurt.

    Load More Replies...
    Space Invader
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the mother defends her atrocious behaviour by claiming to have raised a "self-sufficient" daughter, OP should have asked why she isn't extending the same courtesy to the brother. And then show her what "self-sufficient" really means and cut her off. Choose the people that value you.

    Sera
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom also prided herself on having raised a "self-sufficient" daughter, until I pointed out she hadn't raised me to be confident in relying on myself, just to know unequivocally that I couldn't rely on her for help, no matter how much I needed it. I was very much being neglected, and thankfully she does much better with my youngest sibling. She got better, but I doubt OP's parents ever will.

    Load More Replies...
    Alexa Saltz
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are the "identified patient" (AKA the scapegoat, black sheep, "it", etc.) in a highly disfunctional family. One or both parents are narcissistic and your brother is the "golden child"/flying monkey. You will never be validated, vindicated, nor valued. Ever. Go no contact. Good luck.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They'll be back, just to get a reaction. That's what they're after and she just keeps on feeding them. FFS, ditch them and the baggage.

    Kit Black
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No they'll be back because the new plan is to use her money to pay for their son - that's why they demanded the 10k in ~back rent~ just before going on a cruise...

    Load More Replies...
    Heather Menard
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go no contact trust me I am in the same situation. It never changes just go NC for your well being. Trust me I know.

    Amanduh
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Put in for a job transfer if possible and get the hell out of there. Always use the phrase ‘green isn’t a good color on you’ when your toxic family tries to guilt you out of doing so. Geezuz what pukes!!

    Tom De Paul
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about the boyfriend and his family? Creating distance doesn't require physical movement of any kind.

    Load More Replies...
    Beak Hookage
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The so-called mother sounds *incredibly* manipulative, playing these sick mind-games with the daughter she clearly doesn't give a rat's rear about. F**k her.

    FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel bad for OP and she definitely needs to cut them all off, for good or until there has been a significant change. I have a feeling and I really hope it's not the case but I'm wondering if that $10k that they made the daughter pay them for back rent, funded the trip and paid for the brothers and his girlfriends tickets/trip? I can't stand when families favor some of their kids over the other(s). I have been given the role as the phuckup in the fam, yet I've never been in any legal trouble/arrested yet my middle sister got caught with weed when she was 17/18 and was on probation, but she can do no wrong. My youngest sister literally got away with everything. My dad decided to give my sister my car, while I was in the military, it was in his name since I was 17 when it was purchased but I paid for it. It was only 6/7 years old, Honda Civic in great condition and my sister sold it for $1,000, so her and her bf, at the time, could buy coke with it.🤬

    FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I was the phuckup bc I was injured while in the military and ended up getting addicted to pain meds. At one point the Navy doc was prescribing me 75 Percocets a week. I'm pretty sure most people would have gotten hooked, given that amount for over a year. I have since struggled with addiction due to living in chronic pain and I would use to help cope with all the trauma I've dealt with. My family seems to forget everything my sisters have done, I only gave one example for each, but I will forever be the "white sheep" (my siblings got more of the Native American complexion than me) in my family. I will have 3 years clean in a few months, I live on my own with just my cat and pay for everything by myself. Yet I feel like I will always be seen as the phuckup no matter what I do. I have very limited contact with either parent and no contact with either sister, currently and sometimes I miss them but it's for the better. Sorry for the rambling. If you got this far, thanks for reading.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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