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Woman Makes SIL Cry With A Reality Check: “Being A Stay-At-Home Mom Doesn’t Mean Being A Stay-In-Bed Mom”
Being a new mom can be incredibly exhausting. Your body is still recovering, your hormones are all over the place, and on top of that, you’re expected to handle sleepless nights, care for your baby, manage the house, and somehow take care of yourself too. It’s a lot for anyone.
But one Redditor wasn’t too pleased with how her sister-in-law was handling things five months after giving birth. Knowing her brother worked full-time, she didn’t like finding the house messy while he cooked and she rested. So, she confronted her directly, saying she shouldn’t be a “stay-in-bed mom.”
Later, she turned to the internet to ask if she was being too harsh. Read the full story and the reactions below.
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The woman thought her sister-in-law was spending too much time resting five months after having her baby
Image credits: Hollie Santos / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
So, she decided to call her out, but it didn’t quite go the way she expected
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: goffkein / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: builtfordrama
Many new moms feel lonely and unsupported after giving birth
While exhaustion is expected when becoming a parent, it’s often hard to truly understand its depth unless you’ve lived through it yourself.
For someone like the author of the story above, seeing their sister-in-law still resting a lot five months after giving birth seemed strange. But in reality, even after nearly half a year with a baby, many new parents are still adjusting—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
One Australian study that tracked the sleep quality of 33 mothers in the first few months after childbirth found that participants showed medically significant levels of sleepiness, even after four months.
Other research paints the same picture: moms are really struggling out there. One survey found that 42% of mothers don’t receive enough support, 62% find it difficult to express their needs, especially emotional ones, and 8 in 10 get less than an hour of personal time per day.
A study by the British Red Cross revealed that more than eight in ten mothers under 30 experienced loneliness at least some of the time, while 43% felt lonely all the time. Another survey showed that 90% of new moms felt lonely since giving birth, with over half saying they had no close friends. The numbers speak for themselves.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Postpartum fatigue runs deep and comes from more than just sleepless nights
As Diana Spalding, certified nurse-midwife and pediatric nurse, explained in an article for Motherly, postpartum exhaustion shouldn’t be taken lightly—it’s caused by many overlapping factors that stack on top of each other.
She also pointed out that while the postpartum recovery period is technically around six to eight weeks, that timeline only reflects how long it takes the uterus to shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size (a process called involution).
“Pregnancy and birth are arguably the most intense things our bodies ever do,” she says. “Recovery is about way more than a shrunken uterus—it involves every aspect of our physical and mental selves. We have to start looking at our transition to motherhood as a discovery of our new identities, not about bouncing back to some pre-baby version of ourselves.”
There are also plenty of other factors that can make this period even harder. For instance, up to 56% of new mothers are estimated to be anemic, which can cause dizziness, rapid heartbeat, and, of course, fatigue.
On top of that, research shows that when a baby cries, a woman’s brain enters a state of heightened alertness, while a man’s doesn’t respond in quite the same way. That constant vigilance can be completely draining.
And then there’s breastfeeding, which is practically a full-time job on its own. Producing breast milk actually uses more energy than growing the baby did during pregnancy. It burns about 500 calories a day, roughly the same as walking seven miles.
Plus, approximately 10% to 20% of women worldwide experience postpartum depression. Symptoms can include deep sadness, anger, guilt, and hopelessness, along with changes in appetite, sleep, and energy. It can make even daily tasks feel impossible.
When you put all of that together, it’s really no surprise that new moms crave rest and absolutely deserve it. What they need most isn’t judgment, but real support: from partners, friends, family, and healthcare providers. Whether that comes as a nap, a helping hand, or just someone to listen, every bit counts.
Let’s look out for our fellow moms—they’re going through far more than meets the eye.
Readers raised concerns about the mother’s mental health
Many felt the author came across as insensitive for confronting her
Some, however, felt she was justified in speaking up
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What do you think ?
Rathoren 2 months ago
Just cause she has depression doesn't mean she didn't need to hear it? Because she needs to get medical help if it is depression or get off her lazy b**t and get going if it isn't
JayWantsACat 2 months ago
Yeah, when I'm having a bipolar episode, the best thing for me is to have people berate me. Cures me everytime! /s
Load More Replies...
xolitaire 2 months ago (edited)
What is wrong with those comments?! Not everyone who lays in bed doomscrolling has depression. Also blaming OP for her reaction is stupid, her brother literally called her, saying he was "losing it" because of the situation. He was not helping or explaining anything, so what would you do in that situation? It's easy to say "get her help, this is clearly XY diagnosis"? Having the perfect answer is cute, but not realistic in a stressful situation that concerns your family. I want to see you walk into a chaotic house and find the father trying to save the situation while mom lays in bed and watches netflix. Suuure you all would react perfectly.
Petra Peitsch 2 months ago
OP is very light YTA. Not because mentioning the obvious, but the way she did it. I'm guessing the SIL has some post partum depression, which won't be better by shouting. I think, the main problem here is ignorance, neither of the people in this post realized, SIL has a medical problem, even not the SIL herself. The most important thing here for SIL, the baby and husband/brother to realize, and reach out for professional help. If it's neglected PPD may lead to cases, when a mother harms or even mur.der her baby, in extreme cases.
Katarzyna Drozd 2 months ago
Yes. This is a serious situation that can escalate quickly. She needs medical help ASAP.
Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess 2 months ago
I agree that it may be post partum depression. The question is, does the baby sleep? My niece’s baby did not sleep for the first year for more than an hour or two as she was very colicky. They tried everything but she slowly unraveled. If her mother hadn’t helped with the house, she would not have managed. Her husband is useless. Look at all the reasons this is happening before yelling at her for being lazy.
Katarzyna Drozd 2 months ago (edited)
It looks like depression to me. OP comment didn't help, it made situation worse. What would help is talking about therapy/meds and encouraging her to take care of her mental health.
Suzie 2 months ago
Even if she does have PPD, she doesn't have the luxury of staying in bed all the time. She still has a child to care for. She needs to get some help for the PPD because if her partner is losing it trying to multitask while she's laying in bed, she needs to get out of bed and help.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Staying in bed during to depression isn't a luxury, it's a symptom.
Load More Replies...
Somebodys grandmother 2 months ago
She can have lov iron in the blid, she can have pain after a tear in the pelvic area, infection etc. All this and many others can be the cause besides ppd... Seek a doctor no matter what!
Rathoren 2 months ago
Just cause she has depression doesn't mean she didn't need to hear it? Because she needs to get medical help if it is depression or get off her lazy b**t and get going if it isn't
JayWantsACat 2 months ago
Yeah, when I'm having a bipolar episode, the best thing for me is to have people berate me. Cures me everytime! /s
Load More Replies... xolitaire 2 months ago (edited)
What is wrong with those comments?! Not everyone who lays in bed doomscrolling has depression. Also blaming OP for her reaction is stupid, her brother literally called her, saying he was "losing it" because of the situation. He was not helping or explaining anything, so what would you do in that situation? It's easy to say "get her help, this is clearly XY diagnosis"? Having the perfect answer is cute, but not realistic in a stressful situation that concerns your family. I want to see you walk into a chaotic house and find the father trying to save the situation while mom lays in bed and watches netflix. Suuure you all would react perfectly.
Petra Peitsch 2 months ago
OP is very light YTA. Not because mentioning the obvious, but the way she did it. I'm guessing the SIL has some post partum depression, which won't be better by shouting. I think, the main problem here is ignorance, neither of the people in this post realized, SIL has a medical problem, even not the SIL herself. The most important thing here for SIL, the baby and husband/brother to realize, and reach out for professional help. If it's neglected PPD may lead to cases, when a mother harms or even mur.der her baby, in extreme cases.
Katarzyna Drozd 2 months ago
Yes. This is a serious situation that can escalate quickly. She needs medical help ASAP.
Load More Replies... The Starsong Princess 2 months ago
I agree that it may be post partum depression. The question is, does the baby sleep? My niece’s baby did not sleep for the first year for more than an hour or two as she was very colicky. They tried everything but she slowly unraveled. If her mother hadn’t helped with the house, she would not have managed. Her husband is useless. Look at all the reasons this is happening before yelling at her for being lazy.
Katarzyna Drozd 2 months ago (edited)
It looks like depression to me. OP comment didn't help, it made situation worse. What would help is talking about therapy/meds and encouraging her to take care of her mental health.
Suzie 2 months ago
Even if she does have PPD, she doesn't have the luxury of staying in bed all the time. She still has a child to care for. She needs to get some help for the PPD because if her partner is losing it trying to multitask while she's laying in bed, she needs to get out of bed and help.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Staying in bed during to depression isn't a luxury, it's a symptom.
Load More Replies... Somebodys grandmother 2 months ago
She can have lov iron in the blid, she can have pain after a tear in the pelvic area, infection etc. All this and many others can be the cause besides ppd... Seek a doctor no matter what!
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