MIL Installs Secret Camera In Bedroom To Check If Her Daughter-In-Law Is Taking Care Of Her Son, Loses It When She Gets Found Out
Boundaries—they’re very important. Let’s repeat that again, shall we? Boundaries are very important! Without them, someone else can start running your life the way they see fit, whether it’s your friend, partner, or even your own parents.
One redditor, u/throwraOP96657, shared how her mother-in-law completely violated her privacy by planting a camera in the bedroom. The MIL wanted to make sure that her son, who had been in an accident, was being properly taken care of. However, the price of this was getting banned from their home entirely.
Now the redditor has the entire family, including her husband, stacked against her. And she’s wondering whether she was a jerk. Read on for the full story and to see how the AITA community on Reddit reacted.
Most of us can agree that privacy and boundaries are vital in any relationship—whether romantic, professional, or familial
Image credits: Sanjay (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how her privacy was invaded after her controlling mother-in-law hid a camera in the bedroom
The redditor’s 33-year-old husband was bedridden after he got into a car accident. Ever since then, the OP’s mother-in-law had been pressuring her non-stop with constant reminders to take care of her husband.
From practically forcing her to take time off work to take care of him to demanding that she send her hourly updates about his condition, this was a MIL who was out of control. Meanwhile, though the MIL visits her own son, she doesn’t actually lift a finger to help out, according to the redditor.
Things came to a head when the MIL called the OP to complain that she didn’t change the sheets quickly enough. That’s when the redditor found out from her sister-in-law that the MIL had actually installed a camera in their bedroom!
Well, that was the last straw, the final drop in the bucket, and any other idiom that you particularly enjoy, dear Pandas. The author of the story confronted the MIL in a massive, massive argument and effectively banned her from their home. This was a huge violation of their privacy. And boundaries needed to be drawn.
However, there was a lot of fallout. The redditor was made out to be the villain by the family. What’s more, even her husband got upset, suggesting that he might move back in with his mom. Even though she stood up for herself (and her husband!), she still felt rattled by everyone’s reaction.
The AITA community, however, was pretty clear about who was totally wrong and completely right in this scenario. They thought that the redditor did what she had to do to protect her own interests. You simply can’t let someone install cameras in your home and not expect there to be consequences.
Relationship expert Alex Scot stressed to Bored Panda during an earlier chat with us that boundaries are absolutely vital in any relationship.
“Without them, we live our lives at the expense of ourselves. The mindset for many when it comes to setting boundaries is that they feel selfish, or that they aren’t being a good partner when they implement them, so they avoid doing it altogether,” she said.
“Boundaries are there for us to be able to take care of and to protect ourselves so that we can show up and operate within our lives as successfully as possible.”
However, she noted that as a general rule, we have to be slightly more flexible with our boundaries when it comes to our loved ones, the people closest to us. Rigid boundaries are unsustainable with them, according to the relationship expert.
Here’s how people reacted to the story and what the author of the post had to add
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Simple solution to a simple problem: Let the husband move in with his mother and let him experience that her level of concern is not equal to the level of care she is willing to give to her precious baby-boy.
It sure does seem that way. Does he expect his wife to believe the MIL installed it while he was asleep? The fact he'd allow his mom to put a camera on him to make sure he was being sufficiently pampered is totally insane.
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There’s a Reddit post called “Don’t Rock the boat”. It talks about how narcissists like this train their family to enable this kind of behavior and what happens when someone comes into the family who realizes how crazy it all is. That’s what’s happening with OP. If her husband moves in with his mother so she can look after him, OP should take that as a request for a divorce.
Pack that baby-boy, and send him back to his mommy, than get the fúck out of that marriage asap. Because the whole family of the husband is toxic af, including him. Yezz!
Well, actually not "the whole" since the sis in law was the one who told her
Load More Replies... If he wants to go home to mommy, let him. He is an adult and as such he is allowed to make that choice. No need for you to feel guilty, and if anyone has a problem with that simply remind them of that fact. Your MIL crossed all kinds of boundaries and the ban was justified. Your husband can stay home with you and without his mommy, or he can go home to mommy without you... and you may want to consider that divorce attorney, or keep that option in reserve and see how things pan out
Why does this warrant a question? So the MIL illegally filmed their bedroom, apparently with live feed.. all the family that is defending should get cameras installed in their bedrooms so others can watch them.
They might even find folks willing to pay for the privilege.
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NTA. Him and his family are controlling and abusive and disrespectful. Kick him out with divorce papers, and the camera should be reported to the police. This is not good in any light, and whatever his family says is in bad faith and this if you let to continue you're an a-hole to yourself. Love truly is blind and I cannot imagine in which state I would allow this to continue. I love my extended family but I would report them to police in a heartbeat and send their son back to them as he clearly doesn't respect me or my privacy in our home. Marriage is between two people not whole family. Rather be alone and camera free than under sight of family eye. Imagine the MIL watching your intimate moments after he gets better ... Wrong sick and unacceptable.
Let's recap: Mommy put a camera in his bedroom, and he's fine with it. Let him go live with Mommy. He's not grown up enough to cut the umbilical cord yet, apparently.
What a horrible violation of privacy! I would have no problem banning her from the house. I would never feel safe there again if her husband is letting her in the house when she isn't home. And if her husband can't agree with her on this, I would have temporarily moved out and let his mom take care of him as a 'punishment' for his choice. 'Hey you don't think I'm doing good enough of a job- hire someone or let your mom do it!' I know she loves her husband so this could be hard but there needs to be some kind of consequence for this woman's behavior and her husband's acceptance of it- which is almost worse. And unless their concerns for his safety and treatment really were legit, I would be questioning what it was he felt she wasn't doing enough for him to ever warrant such a violation. He should be talking to her about it, not his mother. Ugh-- I get paranoid that my landlord has hidden cameras even when I know it's not true, nevermind my own family members! This is so horrifying!
How does she know the camera is new? I'd move and leave them to each other.
Tell her she can come back into the house, after she serves her prison sentence for illegally planting a camera in someone else's home
Okay, this is one of those posts where I absolutely cannot believe that the OP even had to question if they're the a*****e. I feel like this is just a bid for internet approval.
It is a bid for approval when one suspects that one is being gaslit by other people.
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Report her to the police, she's broken multiple laws, she could have been passing around videos of you getting changed in and out of clothes, she could be watching you two do intimate things. Would it be acceptable if a stranger installed a camera in your bedroom? No? Then why are you accepting it off this absolute psycho? Report her, take out a restraining order, tell your child of a husband to go move in with his mother so she can wipe his backside and film him while he sleeps, and get a divorce. There's a creepy Oedipus complex between your husband and MIL. You're not his wife, his mother is his wife, you're just a doormat and a hole he inserts himself into. You will never be respected or seen as equal by either of them. Run from this, NOW.
The fact that the husband is siding with his mother over something so despicably creepy would be grounds for divorce for me! What else could she do that he would think is ok going forward? Ugh! Get rid of them both!
I can't believe the husband didn't side with her on that. Really? I wouldn't want my mom seeing my junk every time I change, or my wife's body either. It's clearly an invasion of privacy. He should've confronted his mom about that, no question. And if I were her, I would've called his bluff and had him sent over to her place
Well, this is OBVIOUS. How is this even debatable?! What a vile psycho shitpile bitchfungus+!!! Dear hubby "man"-child is no better. UGH! *GAGS* O_O
Encourage this loser to move back in with his mother, and then file for divorce. This entire family including your man child husband have 0 respect for you. Get out while you can, and don't look back.
So tell hubs he's got his wish. Drive him over to mommy's house and file for divorce.
Unbelievable. OP is definitely NTA. It's a simple and criminal breach of privacy, not to mention what might have been seen on the camera. It's actually completely over the line. Husband should go live with his Mother if that's what he really wants, but it's a one way move, no coming back.....
It completely creeps me out that someone would set up a camera in her home without her knowledge—but in the BEDROOM? That’s just sick. And if hubby is okay with this, he’s just as messed up as Mommy. Cut your losses, walk away—things won’t be getting better, especially since he’s on her side, when he should be on YOURS.
If he goes back to mommy, you're better off. Make sure to change the locks before he tries to come back. :)
He most definitely knew about the camera; he's ill in bed FFS! For your own sake GET RID of him and her and all the rest. Change the locks, block on all social media and live your life!
Let him go back to mommy. He will regret it because she didn't help take care of him when she came to your house. She so overstepped the boundaries by installing a camera in your bedroom. I would have taken that stupid camera back to her face to face and then proceeded to let her know what I thought of her and then told her she wasn't allowed on my property. Who cares what that family thinks. They wouldn't like it if she put cameras in their house. Let him move back to her, you go back to work and enjoy the peace and quiet. And if he loved you, he would have stood up for you. No loyalty.
NTA. MIL is a psycho c*nt. Since her family supported her decision, they all belong in the looney bin.
Read her other post on reddit, hubby is apparently a bit superstitious and thinks every bad thing that has happened to him since they got married is her fault because she's "bad luck". And his family agrees. Time to get rid of him.
can i get a D, can i get an I, can i get a V, can i get a O, can i get a R, can i get a C, can i get an E. Bro you are to good of a person to be living with that a*****e of a husband and his even worse family that step mom should go to jail i cant believe she actaully put a camera in the shoe box.
It does, but it's not impossible. A former colleague of mine was bugged. Her spouse's dad placed the bug in order to gather evidence against her in divorce court. Luckily, she got very suspicious during a "friendly" visit from the fiend and found the bug. The couple didn't split up, but the dad is banned from the house.
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Most marriage vows don't include "obey" for the wife. Even if "obey" is included, I doubt it's legally binding. I suspect the clues were there, but became far more obvious after the husband needed care. I think spouses are allowed to change to adapt to a situation (done it and we worked things out fine). I don't think this marriage can survive the husband blatantly favouring his mother.
Load More Replies... Simple solution to a simple problem: Let the husband move in with his mother and let him experience that her level of concern is not equal to the level of care she is willing to give to her precious baby-boy.
It sure does seem that way. Does he expect his wife to believe the MIL installed it while he was asleep? The fact he'd allow his mom to put a camera on him to make sure he was being sufficiently pampered is totally insane.
Load More Replies... There’s a Reddit post called “Don’t Rock the boat”. It talks about how narcissists like this train their family to enable this kind of behavior and what happens when someone comes into the family who realizes how crazy it all is. That’s what’s happening with OP. If her husband moves in with his mother so she can look after him, OP should take that as a request for a divorce.
Pack that baby-boy, and send him back to his mommy, than get the fúck out of that marriage asap. Because the whole family of the husband is toxic af, including him. Yezz!
Well, actually not "the whole" since the sis in law was the one who told her
Load More Replies... If he wants to go home to mommy, let him. He is an adult and as such he is allowed to make that choice. No need for you to feel guilty, and if anyone has a problem with that simply remind them of that fact. Your MIL crossed all kinds of boundaries and the ban was justified. Your husband can stay home with you and without his mommy, or he can go home to mommy without you... and you may want to consider that divorce attorney, or keep that option in reserve and see how things pan out
Why does this warrant a question? So the MIL illegally filmed their bedroom, apparently with live feed.. all the family that is defending should get cameras installed in their bedrooms so others can watch them.
They might even find folks willing to pay for the privilege.
Load More Replies... NTA. Him and his family are controlling and abusive and disrespectful. Kick him out with divorce papers, and the camera should be reported to the police. This is not good in any light, and whatever his family says is in bad faith and this if you let to continue you're an a-hole to yourself. Love truly is blind and I cannot imagine in which state I would allow this to continue. I love my extended family but I would report them to police in a heartbeat and send their son back to them as he clearly doesn't respect me or my privacy in our home. Marriage is between two people not whole family. Rather be alone and camera free than under sight of family eye. Imagine the MIL watching your intimate moments after he gets better ... Wrong sick and unacceptable.
Let's recap: Mommy put a camera in his bedroom, and he's fine with it. Let him go live with Mommy. He's not grown up enough to cut the umbilical cord yet, apparently.
What a horrible violation of privacy! I would have no problem banning her from the house. I would never feel safe there again if her husband is letting her in the house when she isn't home. And if her husband can't agree with her on this, I would have temporarily moved out and let his mom take care of him as a 'punishment' for his choice. 'Hey you don't think I'm doing good enough of a job- hire someone or let your mom do it!' I know she loves her husband so this could be hard but there needs to be some kind of consequence for this woman's behavior and her husband's acceptance of it- which is almost worse. And unless their concerns for his safety and treatment really were legit, I would be questioning what it was he felt she wasn't doing enough for him to ever warrant such a violation. He should be talking to her about it, not his mother. Ugh-- I get paranoid that my landlord has hidden cameras even when I know it's not true, nevermind my own family members! This is so horrifying!
How does she know the camera is new? I'd move and leave them to each other.
Tell her she can come back into the house, after she serves her prison sentence for illegally planting a camera in someone else's home
Okay, this is one of those posts where I absolutely cannot believe that the OP even had to question if they're the a*****e. I feel like this is just a bid for internet approval.
It is a bid for approval when one suspects that one is being gaslit by other people.
Load More Replies... Report her to the police, she's broken multiple laws, she could have been passing around videos of you getting changed in and out of clothes, she could be watching you two do intimate things. Would it be acceptable if a stranger installed a camera in your bedroom? No? Then why are you accepting it off this absolute psycho? Report her, take out a restraining order, tell your child of a husband to go move in with his mother so she can wipe his backside and film him while he sleeps, and get a divorce. There's a creepy Oedipus complex between your husband and MIL. You're not his wife, his mother is his wife, you're just a doormat and a hole he inserts himself into. You will never be respected or seen as equal by either of them. Run from this, NOW.
The fact that the husband is siding with his mother over something so despicably creepy would be grounds for divorce for me! What else could she do that he would think is ok going forward? Ugh! Get rid of them both!
I can't believe the husband didn't side with her on that. Really? I wouldn't want my mom seeing my junk every time I change, or my wife's body either. It's clearly an invasion of privacy. He should've confronted his mom about that, no question. And if I were her, I would've called his bluff and had him sent over to her place
Well, this is OBVIOUS. How is this even debatable?! What a vile psycho shitpile bitchfungus+!!! Dear hubby "man"-child is no better. UGH! *GAGS* O_O
Encourage this loser to move back in with his mother, and then file for divorce. This entire family including your man child husband have 0 respect for you. Get out while you can, and don't look back.
So tell hubs he's got his wish. Drive him over to mommy's house and file for divorce.
Unbelievable. OP is definitely NTA. It's a simple and criminal breach of privacy, not to mention what might have been seen on the camera. It's actually completely over the line. Husband should go live with his Mother if that's what he really wants, but it's a one way move, no coming back.....
It completely creeps me out that someone would set up a camera in her home without her knowledge—but in the BEDROOM? That’s just sick. And if hubby is okay with this, he’s just as messed up as Mommy. Cut your losses, walk away—things won’t be getting better, especially since he’s on her side, when he should be on YOURS.
If he goes back to mommy, you're better off. Make sure to change the locks before he tries to come back. :)
He most definitely knew about the camera; he's ill in bed FFS! For your own sake GET RID of him and her and all the rest. Change the locks, block on all social media and live your life!
Let him go back to mommy. He will regret it because she didn't help take care of him when she came to your house. She so overstepped the boundaries by installing a camera in your bedroom. I would have taken that stupid camera back to her face to face and then proceeded to let her know what I thought of her and then told her she wasn't allowed on my property. Who cares what that family thinks. They wouldn't like it if she put cameras in their house. Let him move back to her, you go back to work and enjoy the peace and quiet. And if he loved you, he would have stood up for you. No loyalty.
NTA. MIL is a psycho c*nt. Since her family supported her decision, they all belong in the looney bin.
Read her other post on reddit, hubby is apparently a bit superstitious and thinks every bad thing that has happened to him since they got married is her fault because she's "bad luck". And his family agrees. Time to get rid of him.
can i get a D, can i get an I, can i get a V, can i get a O, can i get a R, can i get a C, can i get an E. Bro you are to good of a person to be living with that a*****e of a husband and his even worse family that step mom should go to jail i cant believe she actaully put a camera in the shoe box.
It does, but it's not impossible. A former colleague of mine was bugged. Her spouse's dad placed the bug in order to gather evidence against her in divorce court. Luckily, she got very suspicious during a "friendly" visit from the fiend and found the bug. The couple didn't split up, but the dad is banned from the house.
Load More Replies... Most marriage vows don't include "obey" for the wife. Even if "obey" is included, I doubt it's legally binding. I suspect the clues were there, but became far more obvious after the husband needed care. I think spouses are allowed to change to adapt to a situation (done it and we worked things out fine). I don't think this marriage can survive the husband blatantly favouring his mother.
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