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150
Woman Realizes Her Husband’s Affection Was Never About Love, Shocks Him With Divorce
The person you marry should be someone who stands by you through it all—someone who supports you during the hardest moments and celebrates you during the best. In sickness and in health, for better or worse. That’s the promise.
But when this Redditor became a mom, it felt like her husband forgot what he signed up for. Instead of being there for her, he picked apart her appearance—making cutting comments, pressuring her to lose weight, and growing distant when she didn’t.
She got in shape hoping to win back his love. His affection returned, yet it didn’t feel right. Now, she’s questioning if she wants to stay with someone who only showed up when she looked a certain way.
Read the full story below.
RELATED:
The man pressured his wife to lose weight after giving birth and acted like she didn’t exist until she did
Image credits: ArseniiPalivoda / envato (not the actual photo)
But when she finally hit his standard, she realized he no longer met hers
Image credits: avanti_photo / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwRA_132457
Let moms rest, recover, and be seen
Image credits: Toa Heftiba / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Pregnancy and childbirth are life-changing experiences. You grow a whole human, bring them into the world, deal with emotional and physical stress, and then dive straight into raising them. It’s exhausting, beautiful, and intense all at once.
So when women gain weight during or after this process, it should be the last thing anyone comments on. After everything the body goes through, changes are not just expected, they’re normal. In fact, according to one study, around 75% of women are heavier one year postpartum than they were before pregnancy, with nearly half retaining over 10 pounds and about a quarter holding on to more than 20.
Still, the pressure for women to “bounce back” remains strong. Unrealistic beauty standards and body-focused criticism can leave many new mothers feeling anxious and insecure. The Mental Health Foundation found that over 40% of women who had been pregnant felt more negative about their bodies afterward, compared to only 12% who felt more positive. That’s a staggering gap.
Some believe they’re helping by suggesting weight loss or encouraging new moms to “just work out” or “watch what they eat.” But those comments often feel like thinly veiled criticism, adding to an already overwhelming list of responsibilities. Instead of helping, they come off as dismissive, tone-deaf, and damaging.
It doesn’t help that when the baby is born, much of the care and attention women received during pregnancy vanishes. According to a review published in PLOS ONE, postnatal care is still one of the most underserved areas of maternal health. Many women feel forgotten not only by those around them, but by the healthcare system itself.
“Once the baby’s out healthy, then people are kind of less bothered,” Soo Downe, co-author of the report and a professor of midwifery studies at the University of Central Lancashire, told CNN. She noted that commercial hospital systems may not see much profit in ongoing maternal care, which only makes the situation worse.
Rather than pointing out everything new moms are “doing wrong,” we should be asking how we can support them better. Based on a review of 36 studies across 15 countries and over 800 women, the most important factors for a positive postnatal experience were: feeling emotionally supported, adjusting to changes in relationships, accepting their new bodies, and receiving proper postnatal care.
Ultimately, what women wanted most was to feel confident and capable in their new roles, while being given the space to adapt emotionally, physically, and socially. That support can take many forms—like access to therapy for postpartum depression or honest conversations with a partner about intimacy and dividing responsibilities. Help from friends, family, or a nanny can also make a big difference by giving new moms time to rest and recharge.
“Society benefits from happy, secure mothers, babies, and families,” Downe said. “The more support we can give to women in the postnatal period, the better our societies are going to be for the future.”
With all the hurt and effort she endured, most readers felt she’d be better off walking away
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What do you think ?
lenka 7 months ago
This is not a man who will stand by you "for better or worse". If you get critically ill, cancer, accident, anything that incapacitates you, he will abandon you. Personally, I wouldn't be waiting for that moment.
Chewie Baron 7 months ago
Yeah, I’m pretty sure the standard marriage vows have that in them, as well as “in sickness and in health”. I could be mistaken.
Load More Replies...
Sue Denham 7 months ago
Nobody can make this decision for you. Trust your gut instinct. You will know. Wishing you good things.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Yours is the only remotely sympathetic post I’ve seen.
Load More Replies...
Royal Stray 7 months ago
You can't force affection, but that goes both ways. He treated her like c**p to get her to loose weight and now she's lost her affection for him. She shouldn't force herself to stay with someone she doesn't love.
LilliVB 7 months ago
It's not just that. After the first bout of attraction when you first start a relationship, there should be other factors that strengthens and deepens love between a couple. And these factors don't go away when you gain weight. If he is so fixated just on physical appearance that he treated her like c**p when she wasn't physically appealing to him anymore, his love for her was just really shallow and only on a surface level. She shouldn't waste her time and her efforts on someone that actually didn't really love her like she deserves.
Load More Replies...
Jenny Barnes 7 months ago
A good friend of mine went through this. She lost the weight and he was oh so happy and showed her off, until she got cancer and "got ugly" according to him. He was out the door and never heard from again. Men like this only want arm candy. Dump him and loose even more weight.
Emily 7 months ago
It's so sad when you look up the statistics - the percentage of men who leave their partners when they get ill really makes you look twice at relationships. My own ex-husband left me when my mental health started to decline, even though I stayed with him through s*****e attempts, self hard, months and months and months of hospitalizations.... but, you know, I got sick and it was too much. LOL
Load More Replies...
Michelle C 7 months ago
Another post proving that the best weight loss is sometimes emotional. Good for you girl!
Kate Johnson 7 months ago (edited)
I'd just say, "You know how those extra pounds made me completely unattractive to you? Well your treatment of me has made you completely unattractive to me, and unlike me, who can lose the weight, you can't rewind the clock and allow me see you as someone I want to have s*x with again, ever." He sounds like a "wife as appliance" bro, and they are always c**p partners.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
This is a year old. Hope OP dumped that horrid man + that OP + her child are living their best lives.
Mark Childers 7 months ago
Being cruel for months at a time until he gets his way isn't love. I'm terrible at relationships, and even I know that.
Ms.GB 7 months ago (edited)
Typically in a life partner you'd want someone who is going to love and support you through physical changes, old age, illness etc. I feel for Op, it's really heartbreaking to think you have that with someone so much so that you marry and start a family only to find out that type of commitment was never there.
Little Bit 7 months ago
If he really loved you he wouldn't care what you looked like because he would love you for who you are. He will never change so don't expect him to act differently if you gain weight again. My ex-husband always used to say that if I ever got over a (uk) size 12 he would kick me out. I was mostly underweight when I was with him because I was too stressed to eat most of the time. My now hubby couldn't care less what I weigh. In the 20+ years I have been with him , there have been times when I have been stick thin and times when I have been well overweight. On the whole he prefers it when I've got a bit of weight on.
Fellfromthemoon 7 months ago
Anon also conveniently forgets the small difference between caring for a newborn and a toddler.
Load More Replies...
Shelley Colleen 1 month ago
Difficult to say since half the story images are unable to load. Anyone listening, BP?
DeeDee M 3 months ago
Divorce. My husband treated me similarly when I was pregnant with our first child. There was no excuse, and while he wasn’t as cold as this guy, he let me know that pregnancy was unattractive to him and he basically found my body repulsive. We had only been married about a year. I was so devastated and I felt so bad about myself I can’t even tell you. I’m not sure how are our marriage survived and I don’t know that it should have. Even now, I look at him and wonder if he’s only with me because I’m beautiful and have a nice figure. I don’t (really) think it’s that simple, many other things hold us together now and I would tell him to go straight to you-know-where if he ever treated me that way again; but the point is, it doesn’t really matter. That sort of cruelty and neglect denotes major character flaws and leaves you questioning them…forever. The important thing to remember if you ever find yourself in an a*****e situation such as this: this is 💯 a THEM problem.
Tom De Paul 7 months ago
NEVER let anyone make you feel ugly in your own home. Get rid of him like the tumor he has shown himself to be.
GlitterPanda 7 months ago
She is worried about how he will treat her if she gains weight again, and she should worry! He won't stick by her. Does she not realize he is going to do the same thing when she ages as well?
Aimes Londhal 7 months ago
This sounds so similar to my story 5 years ago. I had been with my ex partner 7 years and married for 1, when I miscarried, his behaviour was awful. I had put on some weight due to the pregnancy and when I tried on a dress for a family even and pointed out to him how I felt about myself, he laughed at me, when he saw how upset that made me feel, his response was "sorry Mrs I've been pregnant for 9 months". His actions have spoken, he's told you who he is and he's clearly not mature, dump his a*s and put yourself and your child first, always. Hardest decision I made at the time, but 5 years on, I'm remarried with two beautiful daughters and a husband who loves me more for my mum bod and would never dream of speaking to me or treating me like that. Please look after yourself, you are enough! 🩷
AnaBanana 7 months ago
Nah, she should leave him. I am still 40 pounds or so heavier from when I had my baby 8 months ago. My husband encourages me to be healthy but not to necessarily lose weight. And by encourages I don't mean he puts me down in any way shape or form, he just knows I feel better when I am being physically active and that can be hard to do with a baby but also with a full time job! Not once has he made me feel unattractive or unwanted, just the opposite actually. I am learning to love my new body and he is helping me do just that!
Zei Kiljoy 7 months ago (edited)
This just proves her married her on looks alone. She was pregnant with his d**n child and brought them into the world yet he's gonna still focus on just her looks? I hope she tosses his trashy self aside. He only proved that he just wants a pretty little thing to hang on his arm rather than have a partner to love and hold.
Alex Schneider 7 months ago
beside sexual attraction,you could hug a beloved partner,this guy did fine her for not fullfilling his expections and he will do this again..at worst case at his daughter too.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Tough decision and I skimmed the advice that most gave and as usual it’s very one sided. Especially if the roles were reversed and the man put on a lot of weight and didn’t take of his appearance, most of the advice would be to dump him. But, my suggestion is for them to get couples counseling and get to the root of the issues first, particularly since there seems to be SAHM syndrome, PPD, as well as the husband’s piggery. BTW, merely suggesting that one work out and take of ones appearance and offering help, isn’t piggery. Doing it everyday and in a demeaning manner is. Counseling first
Emily 7 months ago
I disagree; you can't counsel someone who would use abuse tactics, such as ignoring a partner and withholding affection from them, to get what they want. He doesn't want a wife, he wants a trophy to show off. He doesn't HAVE feelings for her, ne never did. No counselor can suddenly make him love another person, that's not how it works. I'm all for working on relationships and putting in the effort before immediately jumping to divorce, but this is not one of those situations. He was never IN the marriage, not really, and that's not something you can force. He wanted a bang maid and a trophy - it was never deeper than that.
Load More Replies...
lenka 7 months ago
This is not a man who will stand by you "for better or worse". If you get critically ill, cancer, accident, anything that incapacitates you, he will abandon you. Personally, I wouldn't be waiting for that moment.
Chewie Baron 7 months ago
Yeah, I’m pretty sure the standard marriage vows have that in them, as well as “in sickness and in health”. I could be mistaken.
Load More Replies... Sue Denham 7 months ago
Nobody can make this decision for you. Trust your gut instinct. You will know. Wishing you good things.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Yours is the only remotely sympathetic post I’ve seen.
Load More Replies... Royal Stray 7 months ago
You can't force affection, but that goes both ways. He treated her like c**p to get her to loose weight and now she's lost her affection for him. She shouldn't force herself to stay with someone she doesn't love.
LilliVB 7 months ago
It's not just that. After the first bout of attraction when you first start a relationship, there should be other factors that strengthens and deepens love between a couple. And these factors don't go away when you gain weight. If he is so fixated just on physical appearance that he treated her like c**p when she wasn't physically appealing to him anymore, his love for her was just really shallow and only on a surface level. She shouldn't waste her time and her efforts on someone that actually didn't really love her like she deserves.
Load More Replies... Jenny Barnes 7 months ago
A good friend of mine went through this. She lost the weight and he was oh so happy and showed her off, until she got cancer and "got ugly" according to him. He was out the door and never heard from again. Men like this only want arm candy. Dump him and loose even more weight.
Emily 7 months ago
It's so sad when you look up the statistics - the percentage of men who leave their partners when they get ill really makes you look twice at relationships. My own ex-husband left me when my mental health started to decline, even though I stayed with him through s*****e attempts, self hard, months and months and months of hospitalizations.... but, you know, I got sick and it was too much. LOL
Load More Replies... Michelle C 7 months ago
Another post proving that the best weight loss is sometimes emotional. Good for you girl!
Kate Johnson 7 months ago (edited)
I'd just say, "You know how those extra pounds made me completely unattractive to you? Well your treatment of me has made you completely unattractive to me, and unlike me, who can lose the weight, you can't rewind the clock and allow me see you as someone I want to have s*x with again, ever." He sounds like a "wife as appliance" bro, and they are always c**p partners.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
This is a year old. Hope OP dumped that horrid man + that OP + her child are living their best lives.
Mark Childers 7 months ago
Being cruel for months at a time until he gets his way isn't love. I'm terrible at relationships, and even I know that.
Ms.GB 7 months ago (edited)
Typically in a life partner you'd want someone who is going to love and support you through physical changes, old age, illness etc. I feel for Op, it's really heartbreaking to think you have that with someone so much so that you marry and start a family only to find out that type of commitment was never there.
Little Bit 7 months ago
If he really loved you he wouldn't care what you looked like because he would love you for who you are. He will never change so don't expect him to act differently if you gain weight again. My ex-husband always used to say that if I ever got over a (uk) size 12 he would kick me out. I was mostly underweight when I was with him because I was too stressed to eat most of the time. My now hubby couldn't care less what I weigh. In the 20+ years I have been with him , there have been times when I have been stick thin and times when I have been well overweight. On the whole he prefers it when I've got a bit of weight on.
Fellfromthemoon 7 months ago
Anon also conveniently forgets the small difference between caring for a newborn and a toddler.
Load More Replies... Shelley Colleen 1 month ago
Difficult to say since half the story images are unable to load. Anyone listening, BP?
DeeDee M 3 months ago
Divorce. My husband treated me similarly when I was pregnant with our first child. There was no excuse, and while he wasn’t as cold as this guy, he let me know that pregnancy was unattractive to him and he basically found my body repulsive. We had only been married about a year. I was so devastated and I felt so bad about myself I can’t even tell you. I’m not sure how are our marriage survived and I don’t know that it should have. Even now, I look at him and wonder if he’s only with me because I’m beautiful and have a nice figure. I don’t (really) think it’s that simple, many other things hold us together now and I would tell him to go straight to you-know-where if he ever treated me that way again; but the point is, it doesn’t really matter. That sort of cruelty and neglect denotes major character flaws and leaves you questioning them…forever. The important thing to remember if you ever find yourself in an a*****e situation such as this: this is 💯 a THEM problem.
Tom De Paul 7 months ago
NEVER let anyone make you feel ugly in your own home. Get rid of him like the tumor he has shown himself to be.
GlitterPanda 7 months ago
She is worried about how he will treat her if she gains weight again, and she should worry! He won't stick by her. Does she not realize he is going to do the same thing when she ages as well?
Aimes Londhal 7 months ago
This sounds so similar to my story 5 years ago. I had been with my ex partner 7 years and married for 1, when I miscarried, his behaviour was awful. I had put on some weight due to the pregnancy and when I tried on a dress for a family even and pointed out to him how I felt about myself, he laughed at me, when he saw how upset that made me feel, his response was "sorry Mrs I've been pregnant for 9 months". His actions have spoken, he's told you who he is and he's clearly not mature, dump his a*s and put yourself and your child first, always. Hardest decision I made at the time, but 5 years on, I'm remarried with two beautiful daughters and a husband who loves me more for my mum bod and would never dream of speaking to me or treating me like that. Please look after yourself, you are enough! 🩷
AnaBanana 7 months ago
Nah, she should leave him. I am still 40 pounds or so heavier from when I had my baby 8 months ago. My husband encourages me to be healthy but not to necessarily lose weight. And by encourages I don't mean he puts me down in any way shape or form, he just knows I feel better when I am being physically active and that can be hard to do with a baby but also with a full time job! Not once has he made me feel unattractive or unwanted, just the opposite actually. I am learning to love my new body and he is helping me do just that!
Zei Kiljoy 7 months ago (edited)
This just proves her married her on looks alone. She was pregnant with his d**n child and brought them into the world yet he's gonna still focus on just her looks? I hope she tosses his trashy self aside. He only proved that he just wants a pretty little thing to hang on his arm rather than have a partner to love and hold.
Alex Schneider 7 months ago
beside sexual attraction,you could hug a beloved partner,this guy did fine her for not fullfilling his expections and he will do this again..at worst case at his daughter too.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Tough decision and I skimmed the advice that most gave and as usual it’s very one sided. Especially if the roles were reversed and the man put on a lot of weight and didn’t take of his appearance, most of the advice would be to dump him. But, my suggestion is for them to get couples counseling and get to the root of the issues first, particularly since there seems to be SAHM syndrome, PPD, as well as the husband’s piggery. BTW, merely suggesting that one work out and take of ones appearance and offering help, isn’t piggery. Doing it everyday and in a demeaning manner is. Counseling first
Emily 7 months ago
I disagree; you can't counsel someone who would use abuse tactics, such as ignoring a partner and withholding affection from them, to get what they want. He doesn't want a wife, he wants a trophy to show off. He doesn't HAVE feelings for her, ne never did. No counselor can suddenly make him love another person, that's not how it works. I'm all for working on relationships and putting in the effort before immediately jumping to divorce, but this is not one of those situations. He was never IN the marriage, not really, and that's not something you can force. He wanted a bang maid and a trophy - it was never deeper than that.
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