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Woman Realizes Her Husband’s Affection Was Never About Love, Shocks Him With Divorce
Woman Realizes Her Husband’s Affection Was Never About Love, Shocks Him With Divorce
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Woman Realizes Her Husband’s Affection Was Never About Love, Shocks Him With Divorce

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The person you marry should be someone who stands by you through it all—someone who supports you during the hardest moments and celebrates you during the best. In sickness and in health, for better or worse. That’s the promise.

But when this Redditor became a mom, it felt like her husband forgot what he signed up for. Instead of being there for her, he picked apart her appearance—making cutting comments, pressuring her to lose weight, and growing distant when she didn’t.

She got in shape hoping to win back his love. His affection returned, yet it didn’t feel right. Now, she’s questioning if she wants to stay with someone who only showed up when she looked a certain way.

Read the full story below.

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    The man pressured his wife to lose weight after giving birth and acted like she didn’t exist until she did

    Woman looking pensive on sofa with baby, reflecting on weight loss and life changes.

    Image credits: ArseniiPalivoda / envato (not the actual photo)

    But when she finally hit his standard, she realized he no longer met hers

    Woman considers divorce after weight loss and 5-year marriage, with a three-year-old child.

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    Text about postpartum challenges of losing weight and adjusting to parenting.

    Text describing relationship tension and comments on weight loss and intimacy between a wife and husband.

    Text excerpt on relationship struggles, self-esteem, and efforts to regain affection after weight loss.

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    Text discussing a woman's weight loss journey, focusing on gym, swimming, and healthier habits.

    Woman in gray activewear measuring waist in front of mirror, standing by teal armchair, focusing on weight loss goals.

    Image credits: avanti_photo / envato (not the actual photo)

    Text of a wife's emotional reflection on husband's changed behavior post-weight loss.

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    Text about weight loss, attraction, and self-esteem issues in a relationship.

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    Text discussing a wife's desire for divorce due to past treatment after weight loss, expressing trust concerns.

    Text image about seeking advice on relationship issues, discussing marriage decisions on Reddit.

    Text discussing relationship issues and considering divorce after behavior concerns.

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    Image credits: throwRA_132457

    Let moms rest, recover, and be seen

    Image credits: Toa Heftiba / unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Pregnancy and childbirth are life-changing experiences. You grow a whole human, bring them into the world, deal with emotional and physical stress, and then dive straight into raising them. It’s exhausting, beautiful, and intense all at once.

    So when women gain weight during or after this process, it should be the last thing anyone comments on. After everything the body goes through, changes are not just expected, they’re normal. In fact, according to one study, around 75% of women are heavier one year postpartum than they were before pregnancy, with nearly half retaining over 10 pounds and about a quarter holding on to more than 20.

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    Still, the pressure for women to “bounce back” remains strong. Unrealistic beauty standards and body-focused criticism can leave many new mothers feeling anxious and insecure. The Mental Health Foundation found that over 40% of women who had been pregnant felt more negative about their bodies afterward, compared to only 12% who felt more positive. That’s a staggering gap.

    Some believe they’re helping by suggesting weight loss or encouraging new moms to “just work out” or “watch what they eat.” But those comments often feel like thinly veiled criticism, adding to an already overwhelming list of responsibilities. Instead of helping, they come off as dismissive, tone-deaf, and damaging.

    It doesn’t help that when the baby is born, much of the care and attention women received during pregnancy vanishes. According to a review published in PLOS ONE, postnatal care is still one of the most underserved areas of maternal health. Many women feel forgotten not only by those around them, but by the healthcare system itself.

    “Once the baby’s out healthy, then people are kind of less bothered,” Soo Downe, co-author of the report and a professor of midwifery studies at the University of Central Lancashire, told CNN. She noted that commercial hospital systems may not see much profit in ongoing maternal care, which only makes the situation worse.

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    Rather than pointing out everything new moms are “doing wrong,” we should be asking how we can support them better. Based on a review of 36 studies across 15 countries and over 800 women, the most important factors for a positive postnatal experience were: feeling emotionally supported, adjusting to changes in relationships, accepting their new bodies, and receiving proper postnatal care.

    Ultimately, what women wanted most was to feel confident and capable in their new roles, while being given the space to adapt emotionally, physically, and socially. That support can take many forms—like access to therapy for postpartum depression or honest conversations with a partner about intimacy and dividing responsibilities. Help from friends, family, or a nanny can also make a big difference by giving new moms time to rest and recharge.

    “Society benefits from happy, secure mothers, babies, and families,” Downe said. “The more support we can give to women in the postnatal period, the better our societies are going to be for the future.”

    With all the hurt and effort she endured, most readers felt she’d be better off walking away

    Reddit discussion about a woman contemplating divorce, seeking support and sharing relationship struggles.

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    Reddit comment discussing weight loss and relationship issues.

    Reddit comment discussing marriage, weight loss, unconditional love, and relationship expectations.

    Comment about divorce advice, saying "Swim away from him girl!" with 2.4k likes.

    Comment on relationship doubts after weight loss, suggesting love based on attraction isn't guaranteed.

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    Reddit advice on divorce: Wife questions husband's behavior after weight loss and health issues, considering separation.

    Reddit comment offers advice on dealing with weight loss and relationship issues.

    Reddit comment discussing marriage vows and unconditional love challenges.

    Reddit comment discussing justification after weight loss leading to marital issues.

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    Comment supporting a wife's decision to seek divorce, highlighting conditional love issues.

    Reddit comment discussing postpartum depression, support, and trust in relationships.

    Reddit post about wife losing weight leading to divorce, discussing body image and relationship struggles.

    Comment discussing unconditional love after weight loss.

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    Reddit comment discussing weight loss and relationship advice about divorce.

    Discussion on intimacy and attraction from an online post, highlighting weight loss and relationship issues.

    Reddit comment discussing relationship issues after weight loss.

    Reddit comment discussing relationship challenges and intimacy related to weight gain.

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    Reddit comment discussing marriage struggles and hiring a nanny for personal time, reflecting on relationship dynamics.

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past five years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past five years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

    Gabija Palšytė

    Gabija Palšytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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    Gabija Palšytė

    Gabija Palšytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

    What do you think ?
    lenka
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is not a man who will stand by you "for better or worse". If you get critically ill, cancer, accident, anything that incapacitates you, he will abandon you. Personally, I wouldn't be waiting for that moment.

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure the standard marriage vows have that in them, as well as “in sickness and in health”. I could be mistaken.

    Load More Replies...
    Sue Denham
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nobody can make this decision for you. Trust your gut instinct. You will know. Wishing you good things.

    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yours is the only remotely sympathetic post I’ve seen.

    Load More Replies...
    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't force affection, but that goes both ways. He treated her like c**p to get her to loose weight and now she's lost her affection for him. She shouldn't force herself to stay with someone she doesn't love.

    LilliVB
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not just that. After the first bout of attraction when you first start a relationship, there should be other factors that strengthens and deepens love between a couple. And these factors don't go away when you gain weight. If he is so fixated just on physical appearance that he treated her like c**p when she wasn't physically appealing to him anymore, his love for her was just really shallow and only on a surface level. She shouldn't waste her time and her efforts on someone that actually didn't really love her like she deserves.

    Load More Replies...
    Jenny Barnes
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A good friend of mine went through this. She lost the weight and he was oh so happy and showed her off, until she got cancer and "got ugly" according to him. He was out the door and never heard from again. Men like this only want arm candy. Dump him and loose even more weight.

    Emily
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so sad when you look up the statistics - the percentage of men who leave their partners when they get ill really makes you look twice at relationships. My own ex-husband left me when my mental health started to decline, even though I stayed with him through s*****e attempts, self hard, months and months and months of hospitalizations.... but, you know, I got sick and it was too much. LOL

    Load More Replies...
    Corwin 02
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perfect way to shed another 180 or so pounds

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another post proving that the best weight loss is sometimes emotional. Good for you girl!

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd just say, "You know how those extra pounds made me completely unattractive to you? Well your treatment of me has made you completely unattractive to me, and unlike me, who can lose the weight, you can't rewind the clock and allow me see you as someone I want to have s*x with again, ever." He sounds like a "wife as appliance" bro, and they are always c**p partners.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a year old. Hope OP dumped that horrid man + that OP + her child are living their best lives.

    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being cruel for months at a time until he gets his way isn't love. I'm terrible at relationships, and even I know that.

    Load More Comments
    lenka
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is not a man who will stand by you "for better or worse". If you get critically ill, cancer, accident, anything that incapacitates you, he will abandon you. Personally, I wouldn't be waiting for that moment.

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure the standard marriage vows have that in them, as well as “in sickness and in health”. I could be mistaken.

    Load More Replies...
    Sue Denham
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nobody can make this decision for you. Trust your gut instinct. You will know. Wishing you good things.

    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yours is the only remotely sympathetic post I’ve seen.

    Load More Replies...
    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't force affection, but that goes both ways. He treated her like c**p to get her to loose weight and now she's lost her affection for him. She shouldn't force herself to stay with someone she doesn't love.

    LilliVB
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not just that. After the first bout of attraction when you first start a relationship, there should be other factors that strengthens and deepens love between a couple. And these factors don't go away when you gain weight. If he is so fixated just on physical appearance that he treated her like c**p when she wasn't physically appealing to him anymore, his love for her was just really shallow and only on a surface level. She shouldn't waste her time and her efforts on someone that actually didn't really love her like she deserves.

    Load More Replies...
    Jenny Barnes
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A good friend of mine went through this. She lost the weight and he was oh so happy and showed her off, until she got cancer and "got ugly" according to him. He was out the door and never heard from again. Men like this only want arm candy. Dump him and loose even more weight.

    Emily
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so sad when you look up the statistics - the percentage of men who leave their partners when they get ill really makes you look twice at relationships. My own ex-husband left me when my mental health started to decline, even though I stayed with him through s*****e attempts, self hard, months and months and months of hospitalizations.... but, you know, I got sick and it was too much. LOL

    Load More Replies...
    Corwin 02
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perfect way to shed another 180 or so pounds

    Michelle C
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another post proving that the best weight loss is sometimes emotional. Good for you girl!

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd just say, "You know how those extra pounds made me completely unattractive to you? Well your treatment of me has made you completely unattractive to me, and unlike me, who can lose the weight, you can't rewind the clock and allow me see you as someone I want to have s*x with again, ever." He sounds like a "wife as appliance" bro, and they are always c**p partners.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a year old. Hope OP dumped that horrid man + that OP + her child are living their best lives.

    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being cruel for months at a time until he gets his way isn't love. I'm terrible at relationships, and even I know that.

    Load More Comments
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