“Get A Job Or Get Out”: Woman Snaps After A Decade Of Financial Support For Her Husband

Romantic relationships and marriage are meant to be genuine partnerships. They’re based on mutual understanding, respect, sincerity, and support. And while following your passion is important, things can get pretty tough if one partner is the sole breadwinner and all the financial pressure is on their shoulders.

Mumsnet user GeofferyLLama asked the internet for advice regarding a sensitive situation at home. She opened up about how for the past decade her husband has been working on various personal projects instead of getting a stable job, and she’s at the end of her rope. Scroll down for the full story, including advice from the net, and a rather surprising twist to the story. Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral post, GeofferyLLama, and she was kind enough to share a wholesome update with us.

Taking a risk and focusing on your passion projects is fine, so long as you don’t leave the financial burden entirely for your partner to bear

Woman frustrated with husband after years of empty promises, demanding change.

Image credits: stefamerpik / freepik (not the actual photo)

A woman asked for advice online, wondering whether she should give her husband an ultimatum to get a job after a decade of working on passion projects

Text reads: "AIBU to say get a job or get out? 10 years ago, a few days before my second daughter was born, I got offered the job of a lifetime.

Text highlighting false promises from husband about his job situation.

Text excerpt discussing husband's project and wife organizing a nanny-share amidst promises.

Text about wife's frustration after husband's broken promises on getting a job.

Text about a wife expressing frustration over job promises from her husband.

Text describing a wife's frustration over a husband's 10 years of unkept promises about finding a job.

Text discussing wife's frustration over husband's false job promises.

Text on image discussing financial struggles and wife's frustrations with husband's false promises.

Text about husband's job and financial struggles; wife urges him to "get a job or get out.

Text image discussing a gig's poor pay and financial struggles, with savings dwindling.

Text describing a wife's frustration over husband's false job promises.

Wife tired from husband's false promises, stressed over bills at table with laptop and coffee.

Image credits: wayhomestudio / freepik (not the actual photo)

Text expressing a wife's frustration over ten years of false promises from her husband.

Text describes wife's frustration with husband's unfulfilled promises.

Text expressing frustration over unfulfilled promises after 10 years, asking if husband should get a job or leave.

Image credits: GeofferyLLama

There’s a lot of stress and anxiety that comes from being the sole breadwinner in your family

Image credits: milanmarkovic / freepik (not the actual photo)

The awesome bit of news that the author shared with Bored Panda is that her husband has successfully found a job.

“The good news is my husband just accepted a job offer as a university lecturer,” GeofferyLLama shared an update with us.

“It’s going to be a big change,” she said. “A part of me has got very used to him always being around, getting me tea when I’m working and running the kids around, but it’s also a massive weight off my shoulders.”

There are other benefits besides a second paycheck in the family. “It’s also great for him to be back in the workplace, doing something he loves,” GeofferyLLama said. “I’m glad I vented on Mumsnet, as it pushed me to confront the issue.”

The author reiterated the fact that it’s very stressful being the only breadwinner in the family. “That stress is even bigger when you’re freelance and are never sure where you next paycheck is coming from.”

Passion, ambition, creativity, and perseverance are all incredibly important parts of any person’s career, sure. Nobody’s criticizing anyone for working on their passion projects in their spare time. And there are other non-financial ways to contribute to your family’s welfare, too.

However, what you do in life can’t all revolve exclusively around pie-in-the-sky projects and expensive, time-consuming, creative ventures.

You have to be practical. You have to get the basics right. You have to have a stable job to put food on the table and keep a roof over your head. If you have children, it’s even more important to have a dual income, unless you’ve had the good luck of being born into a well-off family or recently hit the jackpot.

If there’s a mismatch between reality and expectations, open and honest communication is your best strategy. It can be incredibly awkward to talk to your partner about sensitive topics like money. However, issues don’t get solved by ignoring them.

It might take a few conversations to get on the same page, but it’s all worth it in the end. Ideally, you want to find a fine balance between being firm yet friendly. Being judgmental only makes the other person get defensive. However, being too lenient means that your personal boundaries might get ignored.

It can be incredibly stressful to be the sole breadwinner. The risk with there being only one breadwinner is that if they unexpectedly get laid off or take time off to skill up or pivot to a new position, it potentially puts the entire family’s livelihood at risk.

Meanwhile, when both partners work, they can support each other financially if one of them needs time to get a new job.

It’s probably a good idea for everyone to have an emergency fund to rely on in case you or your partner lose your job

Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)

Whatever your unique situation might be, it’s a good rule of thumb to always have an emergency fund so that you can weather at least some bad luck and metaphorical storms that life throws your way.

Broadly speaking, the bigger your emergency fund, the better, because you have more flexibility with a larger safety net. However, putting all of your hard-earned cash into your emergency fund might not be the best strategy: at some point, you should consider investing a part of your savings.

According to HSBC, having emergency savings that you can fall back on means that you won’t have to borrow money or make difficult financial decisions during tough moments like losing your job, paying medical bills, or repairing your car or home.

The bank recommends that you have at least 3 months’ worth of living expenses in your emergency fund, aiming for 6 months’ worth.

This money should cover your core monthly expenses like rent or mortgage payments, as well as your expenses on food, transportation, etc.

“You may want to open a separate savings account for your emergency fund so you’re not tempted to dip into it. Ideally, you want to be able to access the money quickly, if you need it, so you don’t want it to be in a locked savings account or invested,” HSBC suggests.

“A good way to stick to your savings plan is to set up a standing order to move money into a savings account each month. If you schedule it for the day you get paid, you’ll lower the temptation to spend it. You can also put extra money into your savings account whenever you want. If you have money left over at the end of a month, why not add it to your savings?”

What are your thoughts about the entire situation? Have you ever been the sole breadwinner in your relationship or had serious discussions about money? How long do you think it’s fair to let your partner focus on their creative ventures before (gently) pressuring them to get a job? Let us know in the comments.

Many readers were quick to react, while others offered the author some heartfelt advice

Online forum discussion about wife's frustration over husband's false promises of getting a job.

Discussion on husband’s false promises and the wife's frustration after ten years, focusing on job issues and relationship strain.

Comment on false promises needing steady earnings after 10 years.

Comment advises a wife tired of false promises to divorce after 10 years.

Text urging a wife tired of false promises from her husband to make a change after 10 years.

Comment discussing impact of husband's false promises causing financial strain and family stress.

Comment about fair ultimatum to husband with false promises.

Online comment advising wife to demand husband get a job or face divorce.

Text on relationship struggles, addressing a husband's false promises about finding a job after ten years.

Text urging a husband to become a supportive father and prevent financial ruin after 10 years of false promises.

Text highlighting a wife's frustration after 10 years of her husband's unfulfilled promises.

Text discussing a husband's lack of job for ten years and financial strain on wife.

Woman exhausted after husband's false promises; ultimatum given to find a job or leave within a month.

Comment discussing financial loss, urging a husband to work, suggesting delivery driver as a job.

Some internet users used the opportunity to share similar stories

Text from a discussion about wife tired of false promises urging husband to get a job.

Text post discussing job expectations and deadlines for a spouse.

Later, the woman confronted her husband, and things genuinely turned out well

Text post about wife's frustration from husband's job promises and her demand for change.

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