Pregnant Woman Comes Home From The Hospital To Find Her House Completely Trashed, Is Expected To Clean It All Up, Wonders If She Was Wrong To Call Mom For Help
When returning home after a week in the hospital, most people might expect to find a bouquet of flowers from their partner, a sparkling clean house and a relaxing atmosphere that’s conducive to their healing. Unfortunately, for one expectant mother, her recent stay in the hospital was likely much more peaceful than the drama that ensued after. Below, you’ll find the full story that she shared on Reddit detailing the tumultuous days that followed her return home.
After spending a week in the hospital, this expectant mother went home hoping to rest and heal
Image credits: Liubomyr Vorona (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, what she found upon arrival was a huge mess, courtesy of her husband and his brother’s family
Image credits: Kemal Yildirim (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Esra Afşar (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Taylor Grote (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anton (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Even-String-3530
It’s understandable for couples to want to keep their issues private, but when one partner desperately needs help, it’s natural to reach out to family members
Image credits: eudial2224 (not the actual photo)
This situation would be upsetting enough for any spouse or partner to experience, but especially when a woman is pregnant and ill, her partner should be going out of their way to ensure that she is not in stressful situations. According to March of Dimes, increased levels of stress during a pregnancy can increase a mother’s chances of having a baby who is born premature or having a low-birthweight baby. There are also a variety of health issues linked to babies who are born premature, such as cerebral palsy, behavior problems like ADHD, mental health conditions such as developing depression later in life and even neurological disorders.
Even the mother herself can experience a host of dangerous and unpleasant symptoms caused by stress during her pregnancy. These might include normal pregnancy discomforts (such as trouble sleeping and morning sickness) becoming exacerbated, developing problems eating which can lead to becoming over or underweight, or developing high blood pressure during pregnancy. Some pregnant women also find themselves under so much stress that they seek unhealthy coping mechanisms that will harm their baby, such as smoking or drinking alcohol.
It’s also especially important for expectant mothers to avoid stressful situations, for the health of herself and the baby
To help reduce stress during a pregnancy, March of Dimes recommends staying healthy and fit by eating a balanced diet, getting plenty of rest and exercise. They also recommend that pregnant women cut back on all activities they don’t need to do, such as household chores that their partner can pick up. It can be wise to try relaxation activities, such as prenatal yoga or meditation, and taking a childbirth education class can help assuage any fears the expectant mom may have. It’s also important to have a strong support network, including the mother’s partner, friends and family.
It is the responsibility of everyone around the expectant mother to work to make her life easier. Sometimes, this means simply staying out of her way and allowing her some peace. And in this particular case on Reddit, her husband could have easily cleaned up the home and shown his wife some support. She needs rest, especially after being ill. The last thing she needs is to be worried about the state of her home and overwhelmed by her in-laws barging in and wreaking havoc.
All couples shift when a child comes into the picture, but it’s up to them to ensure that the changes aren’t for the worse
Image credits: stockbusters (not the actual photo)
As some of the comments on Reddit noted, it can be concerning when a partner seems to suddenly change, and the reason for this husband’s change might be their baby on the way. According to Tracy K. Ross, LCSW, it is natural for a relationship to shift when a child comes into the picture, but both partners need to be mindful of these changes to ensure that they don’t all become negative. “We know from research that a relationship that’s not given attention will get worse,” Ross told Healthline. “If you do nothing, the relationship will deteriorate — you’ll be co-parents arguing about tasks. You have to put work into the relationship for it to stay the same, and work even harder to improve it.”
Thankfully, it sounds like the situation is improving and that her family members have been supportive in recent days, so we can only hope that issues like this never arise again. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. And then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring spousal drama that ensued when a mom returned home, look no further than right here!
The expectant mother later provided more information on the story, responding to some of the readers who were on her side
Readers unanimously agreed that the woman had done nothing wrong, noting how wonderfully her family responded in this situation
NTA, but I give your MIL and husband credit for realizing they were.in the wrong, and to your MIL for pitching in and helping set up your care, too. I can’t even imagine your sickness and stress. Perhaps your husband will realize the gravity of his error, and this could be a way forward for you both.
Yes, massive kudos to MIL who was only wrong up to the point of stepping inside, confronted with the evidence and did an immediate about face - it can take a lot to admit you're wrong and she didn't hesitate. Husband, on the other hand, needed both mothers to shove evidence in his face, with shouting and disapproval. MIL also gets bonus points for the after care meal planning. It honestly sounds like SIL is the problem here - it all stems from her behaviour. I wonder if there's more going on with her that needs help too.
Load More Replies...
Here's update: "Talk with husband: summed up since it lasted 4 hrs. it was a hard talk. He is remorseful. Bil was only supposed to stay for a couple of nights. Then leave originally he thought they would be gone before I got home. He said he is tired and emotionally upset himself. When I originally passed out. My husband left to help a friend move. He came home and found me. He said he has no idea how long I was on the floor hurt. He was originally scared I had died. Since then he has had nightmares. On top of dealing with his family drama. He admitted to dumping his frustration onto me. When it's not my fault. He begged me for another chance. The next steps. We are still separated. He plans on staying at my brother house in his casita. We are going to go to marriage counseling and Individual counseling. He asked if he could come when the home health nurse comes each night and to my Dr's appointments. I agreed to that."
"Update on BIL: his wife admitted to having and affair. She told him she got married too soon and doesn't want the responsibilities of being a mom anymore. I am not sure what will happen with him and his kids but, I am shocked that she feels this way especially with her kids."
Load More Replies...
I’ll hold them down for you if you give me the first punch for each of them.
Load More Replies...
Things I learned from Reddit. 1. Never let family move in to your house. 2. See rule # 1.
That really depends on the family. Don't forget: people post about bad things all the time, they also like to brag about the excellent things, but they rarely post about normal things or stuff that only concerns them and was a failure. Behind every single success story on the internet stant thousands of failures who keep quiet. On every entitled customer throwing tantrums come thousands of normal customers that just quietly go about their days. Behind every trashy family who misbehaves stand thousands of normal families who behave decently and gracefully. For every extremist bigot using their religion to bully people there are thousands of quiet pious people who don't even talk openly about their affiliation. But the extremes are louder and pushier. That doesn't make them the norm though. What is true though is that because people are taught to be decent, they often don't push back enough against the bad apples. So often bad behaviour gets enabled by people trying to keep the peace.
Load More Replies...
Hopefully your husband shapes up. Everything he did was wrong, and I'm not surprised you don't see him the same. If something like this happens again leave, because it will not stop.
I love that they called her mother in law, lied to her then she came to verify and was like NOPE NOT OKAY!
My wife had hyperemesis gravidarum. She was constantly sick and throwing up for the entire pregnancy. I feel horrible that this woman has to go through that and also deal with a s****y home life.
I don't know how OP survived that. I was sick like that while expecting and got down to 110lbs. Could not hold anything down. Very weak and shaky. So very worn down had a hard time delivering. Son was delivered with forceps. She needs her family helping her out until she if fully recovered however long that takes. And above everything else she needs a peaceful pampered home life. Not just for her but for her baby to be healthy too.
I noticed OP repeatedly say her husband apologised to get mother and was only upset once both mothers and t the OP's brothers arrived, and I am aware this bus a young couple but sure if the husband is man enough to get married and make a baby he's old enough to consider his partner. And the in - laws mil included seriously need a wake up call, OP is your family not just some woman and that baby she is carrying is their blood. I'd advise marriage guidance and some house rules, this behaviour is a huge red flag. I hope you will be able to get past this and you can repair and strengthen your relationship. It sounds like your family are supportive that's a blessing. Good luck and blessing to you and the little one .
There are Updates in the post. MIL did a face heel turn as soon as she arrived and saw the house. It seems her son, OPs BIL has lied to her about what was happening and she didn't even know OP was in the hospital and sick. She ripped BIL, SIl and the husband a new one and made the in-laws move out and the husband cleaning the house while she helped too. Husband is crawling back apologising. He moved out and they are in couples therapy. He was a weakling who pushed everything on his spouse instead of standing up for himself and her against his brother and was in denial about what was happening. He needed mommy to set him straight to realise vow badly he f*cked up.
Load More Replies... I hope she divorces this dirtbag. Any person that needs a drastic intervention before they side with their sick, pregnant wife is a huge piece of human sh!t and should be left out with the trash
Some men just aren't paying attention and i think he was too worried about her to see what was going on. At least he straightened up when mommy slapped him upside the head. And he cleaned more that night than my ex in 15 years. And he was a "great guy that no understood why i wasn't happy." This guy gets one chance.
Load More Replies...
It's nice to read a story about a good MIL, for a change. The husband does not seem to be interested in the health and wellbeing of his wife and unborn child. Does he realize how easy it is to lose a child to to malnnurition from being this unwell? To have a whole family move in while the wife is sick in the hospital without discussing it with her is insane. To then expect said wife to clean up and be a gracious host while also still working even more so. Then lying ot his mother about it like a child?? Why do women pick s****y husbands like this? Are they so desperate to end up alone?
They don't marry men like this. Some people are nove and fine as long as everything is good but totally unfit to deal with any kind of problems. Those women get together with them when everything is going well, and then they find out they have married morons when push comes to shove. I wouldn't know how OP should have known that. She writes she didn't recognize her husband anymore when she came home. That shows he didn't behave like that ever before.
Load More Replies...
So lucky you had a family to call when you were so vulnerable. I can't imagine what poor young wives/women do in such horrendous situations with no family near by or supports at all. I really really hope you stop being so sick soon, you're going through enough and giving so much to have your baby and so many people just don't understand the toll. Yes we are grateful to be able to have babies but that dosen't mean we can't say it's so hard and we need help and comfort from those who say they love us. Love is an action word. I wish you an uncomplicated delivery and good health for you and your child. I hope you guys work stuff out but if it's healthier for you not too than it's okay because you have already shown how strong you can be and your family will have your back. Good luck.
It sounds like life is hitting everyone really hard here, like a cascading avalanche. I feel compassion for everyone involved. And thank God for the mothers. I am thinking maybe SIL may have gotten pregnant and that's why she got married so young, and she's been regretting it ever since. Just a thought. So, BIL+SIL are going through a bad time with each other plus they have no jobs right now. They are both stressed and unhappy. The husband is scared his wife may be dying and this out of control crowd is messing his space so he has no way to figure how to help his wife or handle his brother. And then the sick wife comes home. Yeah. Everyone is young and suffering and confused here. They are all going to need to step up in different ways to make things better.
I was sick all day, everyday for almost 8 months when I was pregnant with my son. I was very young and still lived with my mom who, luckily, was happy about my pregnancy and took care of me. I can't imagine being expected to care for a household by myself, let alone other people's kids when I couldn't even stand upright from the toilet.
I think the only a******s in this story are the OP's husband and the BIL and his wife. The husband for not asking the OP if she agreed to let BIL+family stay at their home and the BILand wife for being such pigs and not cleaning after themselves. We have a saying where I live, "el muerto y el arrimado a los tres días apestan".
NTA, but I give your MIL and husband credit for realizing they were.in the wrong, and to your MIL for pitching in and helping set up your care, too. I can’t even imagine your sickness and stress. Perhaps your husband will realize the gravity of his error, and this could be a way forward for you both.
Yes, massive kudos to MIL who was only wrong up to the point of stepping inside, confronted with the evidence and did an immediate about face - it can take a lot to admit you're wrong and she didn't hesitate. Husband, on the other hand, needed both mothers to shove evidence in his face, with shouting and disapproval. MIL also gets bonus points for the after care meal planning. It honestly sounds like SIL is the problem here - it all stems from her behaviour. I wonder if there's more going on with her that needs help too.
Load More Replies... Here's update: "Talk with husband: summed up since it lasted 4 hrs. it was a hard talk. He is remorseful. Bil was only supposed to stay for a couple of nights. Then leave originally he thought they would be gone before I got home. He said he is tired and emotionally upset himself. When I originally passed out. My husband left to help a friend move. He came home and found me. He said he has no idea how long I was on the floor hurt. He was originally scared I had died. Since then he has had nightmares. On top of dealing with his family drama. He admitted to dumping his frustration onto me. When it's not my fault. He begged me for another chance. The next steps. We are still separated. He plans on staying at my brother house in his casita. We are going to go to marriage counseling and Individual counseling. He asked if he could come when the home health nurse comes each night and to my Dr's appointments. I agreed to that."
"Update on BIL: his wife admitted to having and affair. She told him she got married too soon and doesn't want the responsibilities of being a mom anymore. I am not sure what will happen with him and his kids but, I am shocked that she feels this way especially with her kids."
Load More Replies... I’ll hold them down for you if you give me the first punch for each of them.
Load More Replies... Things I learned from Reddit. 1. Never let family move in to your house. 2. See rule # 1.
That really depends on the family. Don't forget: people post about bad things all the time, they also like to brag about the excellent things, but they rarely post about normal things or stuff that only concerns them and was a failure. Behind every single success story on the internet stant thousands of failures who keep quiet. On every entitled customer throwing tantrums come thousands of normal customers that just quietly go about their days. Behind every trashy family who misbehaves stand thousands of normal families who behave decently and gracefully. For every extremist bigot using their religion to bully people there are thousands of quiet pious people who don't even talk openly about their affiliation. But the extremes are louder and pushier. That doesn't make them the norm though. What is true though is that because people are taught to be decent, they often don't push back enough against the bad apples. So often bad behaviour gets enabled by people trying to keep the peace.
Load More Replies... Hopefully your husband shapes up. Everything he did was wrong, and I'm not surprised you don't see him the same. If something like this happens again leave, because it will not stop.
I love that they called her mother in law, lied to her then she came to verify and was like NOPE NOT OKAY!
My wife had hyperemesis gravidarum. She was constantly sick and throwing up for the entire pregnancy. I feel horrible that this woman has to go through that and also deal with a s****y home life.
I don't know how OP survived that. I was sick like that while expecting and got down to 110lbs. Could not hold anything down. Very weak and shaky. So very worn down had a hard time delivering. Son was delivered with forceps. She needs her family helping her out until she if fully recovered however long that takes. And above everything else she needs a peaceful pampered home life. Not just for her but for her baby to be healthy too.
I noticed OP repeatedly say her husband apologised to get mother and was only upset once both mothers and t the OP's brothers arrived, and I am aware this bus a young couple but sure if the husband is man enough to get married and make a baby he's old enough to consider his partner. And the in - laws mil included seriously need a wake up call, OP is your family not just some woman and that baby she is carrying is their blood. I'd advise marriage guidance and some house rules, this behaviour is a huge red flag. I hope you will be able to get past this and you can repair and strengthen your relationship. It sounds like your family are supportive that's a blessing. Good luck and blessing to you and the little one .
There are Updates in the post. MIL did a face heel turn as soon as she arrived and saw the house. It seems her son, OPs BIL has lied to her about what was happening and she didn't even know OP was in the hospital and sick. She ripped BIL, SIl and the husband a new one and made the in-laws move out and the husband cleaning the house while she helped too. Husband is crawling back apologising. He moved out and they are in couples therapy. He was a weakling who pushed everything on his spouse instead of standing up for himself and her against his brother and was in denial about what was happening. He needed mommy to set him straight to realise vow badly he f*cked up.
Load More Replies... I hope she divorces this dirtbag. Any person that needs a drastic intervention before they side with their sick, pregnant wife is a huge piece of human sh!t and should be left out with the trash
Some men just aren't paying attention and i think he was too worried about her to see what was going on. At least he straightened up when mommy slapped him upside the head. And he cleaned more that night than my ex in 15 years. And he was a "great guy that no understood why i wasn't happy." This guy gets one chance.
Load More Replies... It's nice to read a story about a good MIL, for a change. The husband does not seem to be interested in the health and wellbeing of his wife and unborn child. Does he realize how easy it is to lose a child to to malnnurition from being this unwell? To have a whole family move in while the wife is sick in the hospital without discussing it with her is insane. To then expect said wife to clean up and be a gracious host while also still working even more so. Then lying ot his mother about it like a child?? Why do women pick s****y husbands like this? Are they so desperate to end up alone?
They don't marry men like this. Some people are nove and fine as long as everything is good but totally unfit to deal with any kind of problems. Those women get together with them when everything is going well, and then they find out they have married morons when push comes to shove. I wouldn't know how OP should have known that. She writes she didn't recognize her husband anymore when she came home. That shows he didn't behave like that ever before.
Load More Replies... So lucky you had a family to call when you were so vulnerable. I can't imagine what poor young wives/women do in such horrendous situations with no family near by or supports at all. I really really hope you stop being so sick soon, you're going through enough and giving so much to have your baby and so many people just don't understand the toll. Yes we are grateful to be able to have babies but that dosen't mean we can't say it's so hard and we need help and comfort from those who say they love us. Love is an action word. I wish you an uncomplicated delivery and good health for you and your child. I hope you guys work stuff out but if it's healthier for you not too than it's okay because you have already shown how strong you can be and your family will have your back. Good luck.
It sounds like life is hitting everyone really hard here, like a cascading avalanche. I feel compassion for everyone involved. And thank God for the mothers. I am thinking maybe SIL may have gotten pregnant and that's why she got married so young, and she's been regretting it ever since. Just a thought. So, BIL+SIL are going through a bad time with each other plus they have no jobs right now. They are both stressed and unhappy. The husband is scared his wife may be dying and this out of control crowd is messing his space so he has no way to figure how to help his wife or handle his brother. And then the sick wife comes home. Yeah. Everyone is young and suffering and confused here. They are all going to need to step up in different ways to make things better.
I was sick all day, everyday for almost 8 months when I was pregnant with my son. I was very young and still lived with my mom who, luckily, was happy about my pregnancy and took care of me. I can't imagine being expected to care for a household by myself, let alone other people's kids when I couldn't even stand upright from the toilet.
I think the only a******s in this story are the OP's husband and the BIL and his wife. The husband for not asking the OP if she agreed to let BIL+family stay at their home and the BILand wife for being such pigs and not cleaning after themselves. We have a saying where I live, "el muerto y el arrimado a los tres días apestan".
124
37