The Surprisingly Simple Mistake Destroying Long-Term Relationships (And How To Overcome It)

My grandparents made the most adorable couple I had ever seen. Theirs was a flirtatious marriage that lasted well over 60 years. Obviously, there were those days when they bickered or were extra mean to each other. But the way they cared for one another, I have never seen a love like that. In today’s age of fleeting romance, their extraordinary relationship seemed like something straight out of a rom-com. 

Long-term relationships are often romanticized because a lot of fiction pushes the narrative of “happily ever after.” In reality, they don’t just magically last; they are challenging and require effort from both partners. After all, these romantic bonds can be pretty fragile, and they can easily fall apart. It’s hardly surprising that “gray divorce” became so trendy in recent years.  

As for why long-term relationships fail, the reasons are numerous. They can include infidelity, financial stress, loss of emotional connection, no proper communication, or just growing apart. However, American psychologist and professor Dr. John Gottman conducted extensive research for decades and concluded that it’s not always the big things, but the small ones, that actually destroy long-term relationships.

We discuss all about his research in this article. We also look at the complexities of long-term relationships, what works in them, what doesn’t, and how to actually thrive in one. Moreover, Bored Panda got an exclusive interview with Irina Firstein, a licensed individual and couples counseling therapist from New York. Among other things, she discussed misconceptions about long-term relationships and how these bonds have changed over the past few decades.