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Someone Asks “What Have You Done That’s Made You Die A Bit Inside,” And Answers Are Too Entertaining
There's no better way to face and deal with your mistakes than immortalizing them on the internet. Recently, one Twitter user has shared an embarrassing moment from their lives, "I once accidentally licked my fit Dentist’s hand whilst maintaining eye contact." In return for the hilarious confession, they asked others to reveal the thing's they've done that made them die a bit inside. Naturally, when someone leads by example, many follow. The people have been delivering such funny and cringy responses, they will definitely make you feel less of a complete fool yourself. Scroll down to check them out and upvote your favorites. (Cover image: Franco Folini I Facebook cover image: abbeyprivate)
More info: Twitter
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#1
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
I full on viking laughed at this, in the office, which was dead silent, untill just now
Meryl Steyn 7 years ago
Haha! A friend's daughter in an interview meant to say she is not very clued up on computers but said to the interviwer, "I,m not very intelligent". The interviewer replied, well that's not going to work!"
RELATED:
#2
Tone Lystad 7 years ago
One evening I dosed off in the sofa with a candle lit on the table and the TV on. I woke up and went straight to the TV, bowed down and blowed on the switch to turn it off! I think I laughed so long, I had a problem falling asleep after going to bed.
Ereka Schafer 7 years ago
When I was in the house cleaning business I had put adds on various bulletin board in order to expand my business. Having never been very good at spelling here's how it read. Honest hard working and dependable looking for houses to clean. I have great refreshment . Which was supposed to have said great references.
Christine Blackburne-Kowal 7 years ago
I was so prepared but nervous the day I was taking my driver's test. The man who was going to administer it was very heavy set and fit rather uncomfortably into my 87 Honda Civic. When he got in, he didn't put on his seatbelt. I thought this was part of the test. I asked him once to out it on. He distractedly said no. Again, I thought he was testing me, so I insisted. He then put down his clip board looked me dead in the eye and just said 'NO.' loudly and directly with NO room to wonder if he was anything but dead serious. I think I shook for the entire test, but somehow passed. I was sure he was going to fail me.
Jesse Musil 7 years ago
so what was the reason for im not putting it on? i'm a little lost on this one...
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#3
Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
The fart is the cherry on the humiliation sundae- kudos on your gracious recovery/
Marika Stanway 7 years ago
I am laughing so hard at this!! 😂😂😂 Literally, tears streaming down my face! Well, hello! Ahhahaha!
Patricia Rix 7 years ago
This one is the best! Thanks for that mental image and a great laugh!
#4
Melody Lanzatella 7 years ago
I've done That! The worst part??? It didn't look ANYTHING like my car!!
Ashley Bogan 7 years ago
A week or two back my husband and I almost did the same thing. His key for my car doesn't have a clicker but we walked up to a silver Camry thinking it was ours and just as he was about to unlock the door I noticed the water bottle and tablet in the seat that did not belong to us. Our car was two spaces away as well.
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
Reminds me of something happening to me a long time ago : my dad had stopped the garage business but still occasionally had some costumers who came by for maintenance. He told me to get the grey Volvo in front of the house. I got out, put the key (told you it was a long time ago) in the door, but the door refused to open, tried and tried..... whilst looking around, a bit annoyed at such mishap. Until I noticed there was another grey Volvo, exactly the same, right behind it. Checked if nobody saw me acting stupidly... got into the right car and drove it into the garage.
Taylor Carroll 7 years ago
I never sat in the other car, but twice now I've walked towards an identical car at Starbucks and only the stickers I have have saved me LOL
Jim Hunt 7 years ago
Once my uncle drove to the water company to pay his bill, in a small town in a rural area. He got back home, then realized he was in the wrong car. His key had unlocked it, and worked in the ignition, and the car was the same model. He drove back and presumably got it sorted out.
#5
#6
Gaurav Beck 7 years ago
I have received few of those kind of pics from my female friends sent accidentally ,they share that kind of stuff with each other for laughs
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Bruce Ferrier 2 years ago
And that's when you want to go back in time to scream at yourself not to do it
TheMsLollidella 7 years ago
Smth similar. Sent some snap of these guys dancing, takig their shirts off on some utube vid with the caption "this is what i live for" and accidentally sent it to my cousin who i dnt know that well. So embarrassing.
#7
Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
I used to be very modest and practically prim, then I was diagnosed with RECTAL cancer. During treatment I would naturally just roll to my left side whenever anyone came into the exam room as so many people had poked around in my butt. Dignity...I used to have dignity...
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
I love the use of the word "whipped" in this context, really gives you a good undestanding of the eagerness in which she presented the boob
diane a 7 years ago
Was in hospital after an op on a shattered elbow - bandaged and strapped from from wrist to shoulder - a very young student doctor came in to take a blood test - asked which arm i preferred??? umm guess!!
Cactuar Jon 7 years ago
It's always a good idea to wait for people to finish their sentences lol
#8
Binxyminxem 7 years ago
Hahaha I laughed out loud at this one! Got to love a bit of toilet humour 😂
Aminah El-Dhany 7 years ago
Hopefully sneeze covered up the sound of the fart and there was no smell when you farted.
#9
Yvonne Bernal 7 years ago
Being an ex-waitress, I would have picked up the tab for BOTH of them
diane a 7 years ago
Staying in Wolverhamptom Britannia Hotel- every night I bought the homeless girl outside - and her dog - some hot food - cold chicken for the doggo
diane a 7 years ago
On the other end of the spectrum - a woman (heroin addict) begging for money for a bus ticket home. I handed her my valid- all-day bus ticket and got a mouthful of abuse as she only wanted money - made me feel sad
Load More Replies... Bored Fox 7 years ago
She paid her back of course. You can read more here at the comments: https://twitter.com/juliemac1000/status/1013524777238253569
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Full Name 7 years ago
Lots of homeless people make very good money if they have a prime spot in a busy city. They make a LOT more than you'd think just begging for change. I've watched people take them inside a clothing store and buy them nice stuff, then they'd literally immediately take it all off, put it in a bag and put on their tattered stuff while begging. Used to p**s me off when I'd walk by on the way to my minimum wage job and they'd get cranky if I didn't give them money. I called a couple of them out on it and they just blushed and turned their head.
diane a 7 years ago
it all went wrong for him when he was burglaring a house and had to jump out of a 3rd floor winidiae - broke both heels -- idiot
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Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
I'd have loved it if the story ended with "...and now we've been married for ten years and have two children!"
Kath Leen 7 years ago
and 2 cats...or maybe more..and dogs...and zebras...or you have your own zoo... XD
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diane a 7 years ago
Another Vet story -- had to take my Great Plains Ratsnake to a small animal practice - as he hadnt been eating - the Receptionist had misheard on the phone - and they were all expecting a Rattlesnake- they were all geared up with protective clothing and antivenom -- sooo embarassing
Lara Seiva 7 years ago
My husband used to wake up before me to work and always kissed me before leaving. One day he does as usual. A few seconds later, I feel some hairs touching my mouth and procede to kiss (I was half asleep, eyes closed). I wake up to him bursting in laughter and realize I had kissed my cat's a*s.
Melissa Schermerhorn 7 years ago
Hee, my old vet was the best looking and nicest man ever. I should have tried this.
#11
Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
I can't count the times I've said "Be safe, love you." when ending conversations with perfect strangers. Apparently I have a secret tendre for my dry cleaner and the guy who takes my lunch order. It's just like muscle memory, your mouth just says it out of habit.
Elaine Roe-Smith 7 years ago
I've done the same thing there is a bus driver who I am friends with. He was going on vacation and driving a long way I said to him, "Be safe drive careful and I Love You", (I say that to my children when they are going somewhere and driving ).. It is out of habit I guess... :)
Marnee DeRider 7 years ago
All the more reason to stop saying I love you to loved ones as casually as one says thank you or good morning. Save it for when it's meaningful
#12
Laugh Fan 7 years ago
I love that the other guy gave him a thumbs up. There are so many people with disabilities that aren't immediately obvious and others that are completely hidden.
Clowton 7 years ago
Yup. OP is tryjng to outdo someone to show them up; and this guy is just happy to share in OP's ability to go faster.
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Christina Sersif 7 years ago
He shouldn't treat anyone this way. Initially he wanted to fat shame someone for trying to get fit only to find out he was being a mega douche. Even if it was just a regular person who happened to be fat TRYING to get fit, leave him alone. You get shamed for being fat, shamed for trying, and then shamed for doing nothing. I'm glad this guy got his karma, but he needs to remember to never treat anyone that way.
Caroline Espenschied 7 years ago
Down Syndrom or not, this was just a dude riding a bike, enjoying himself. Why bother him ?
TeeMarieTisMe 7 years ago
It shouldn't have taken this experience for him to "be a better human"... Don't be an a*****e. Period. Hopefully he really has changed his d**k-ish ways.
Maurício Tomé 7 years ago
I almost cried reading this one. OP, I really hope you're not that a*****e anymore. To the rest, don't be like "past OP"
Jesse Musil 7 years ago
you shouldn't feel any shame from this anymore. you're guilt was plenty enough and there was no harm done except to your own feelings. this guy didn't know any better and in fact was encouraging you on, he didn't have any knowledge of your dubious plan on the race. he had a good time, you feel like c**p about it so the universe righted itself!
#13
Nikki Apple 7 years ago
Yup. Happened to me the other day. "Nice to meet you!" ... "Wait... We've met, haven't we?" *dies*
Kate McInnes 7 years ago
LOL - I went and spoke at a community group some years ago - all went well - meeting was wrapping up and I was being all very polite - leaned across the table and said to one of the ladies "lovely to meet you, see you next time, blah blah blah". Turned around and said something very similar to 3 or 4 other people as they were leaving; turned around again and even more people were filing past so I said to this lady "lovely to meet you" she stared at me blankly and said "again". Oops, first lady I spoke to had walked around the table to get to the door. Died a little inside but laughed and said oh well, better to say hi twice than not at all :( :) !!!!
#14
Xandra 7 years ago
Well, it could have been worse... The knee is a pretty safe spot after all :)))
Clowton 7 years ago
Yup, but it feels nothing like a gear lever though... 😉😅
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Nikol Böhmová 7 years ago
I did that couple times in driving school. My instructor was big guy and own small (for him) car and he always put his legs near gear stick. Third time I got mad and he never got comfortable in car with me again :D
Sean Maynard 7 years ago
My flight instructor always said “your hands must always be on 2 things: the yoke, the throttle and my leg, you choose which 2. Needless to say I passed my flight test.
#15
Chris Pitch 7 years ago
The sentient machine shall remember this and spare your life when the takeover happens.
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
which would have made me instantly fall in love with you if I had stood there in the queue behind you.
#16
birdhouse 7 years ago
If the guy was a pervert and I knew that was his brother, I'd still tell him. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Clowton 7 years ago
Probably better that OP didn't know. The new guy would know it's an objective statement, and now he knows what is expected.
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Petra Schaap 7 years ago
at highschool I warned a new girl in our class about the computer teacher who would always be too close and hanging over your shoulder and making you feel very uneasy. When I finished talking she said "thats my dad" oops
#17
Mimis Nachbarin 7 years ago
"trousers fell to my knees" - could never happen to me. With none of ym trousers.
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
Guy to his friends : "Y'all should fly *company of the plane*, they give free lapdances"
Julia Gentzler Roark 7 years ago
Wait... Interesting sentence structure, or... How did he end up with your pants on?
#18
TropicalPanda 7 years ago
Pinky Ivy .. keep that innocence alive.. its getting rare!! :)
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athornedrose 7 years ago
i had the opposite problem. got dinner with my dad, and when he went to the bathroom, the waiter came with the bill and asked if it was for me or my "gentleman" rofl
TheMsLollidella 7 years ago
I get the same ! I was 15 ? and my dad got me ice cream near a pool and the person asked if we were together. I said "Yeah ofc we are, hes gettin me ice cream duh. " wasnt till later it clicked what the person meant . But gross lol bleh
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Mimis Nachbarin 7 years ago
This is only embarrassing if both women were around the same age. But if one was 20 years older than the other - of course you could think they are mum and daughter...
Kiss Army 7 years ago
When my husband and I got together he mowed the lawn for two ladies that he said were mother and daughter. After I got to know them, I realized they were a coupled and not mother and daughter. 25 years later, he doesn't mow there lawn any more but they are still our great friends!
Sarah Booth 7 years ago
My dad introduced me to some woman at a work party and the woman accusingly said to me in an aggressive tone, " and HOW are you related to him?" I said, "I'm his daughter." And suddenly her voice when up two octaves, "oh, isn't that nice!" —all sweetness and light. I guess she had been left for a much younger woman recently as my dad is 40 years older than me!
Carly Kirn 7 years ago
My brother took me out to lunch one time and either a waitress or one of his coworkers that was also there thought I was his date. Kind of worse than this, because he's 11 years older than me...and I was 14.
#19
Casandra Nițescu 7 years ago
Why is this embarrassing? If I was the guy with no arms I would have just nodded in the right direction or something. There ARE other ways to "point."
Jesse Musil 7 years ago
when my mom couldn't find me when i was little at the grocery, she would goto customer service and had them page me over the intercom...as highly embarrassing. =[
#20
Nadja Lambacher 7 years ago
did the person call the cops? I really wanna know more! Also male friendships seem interesting.
Jace 7 years ago
As a male, this is a type of behavior I would never demonstrate. If I had a friend that did s**t like that, the friendship would not last long.
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Nicole Fontaine 7 years ago
This is comforting to read, maybe next someone does this to me I’ll think “maybe they just think they know me”
Abigail Kreiss 7 years ago
Is this something guys do often to greet good friends? We women are so boring.
#21
just a thought! 7 years ago
My friend did this too lmao. Her friend texted her saying his brother passed away and my friend stupidly thought that he was talking about our just completed exams and congratulated him. Umm... It was really awkward for a while, to say the least .
#22
Lena W 7 years ago
Translation: while alone in the house, someone knocked at the door. He stood there and said, “Police, we’re doing door to door visits looking for someone in the village.” He handed me a card with a photo on it. “Sorry, never seen him before,” I replied. “That’s me,” he said, as he took his ID back.
#23
Laugh Fan 7 years ago
I'm not sure I'd ever be over that enough to share it. I applaud your courage!
Agnes Jekyll 7 years ago
yup, this is second worst--the first being the guy who sailed naked over the stairs farting
Mika N 7 years ago
She said she was 10, not an adult. Kids don't always think things like that through.
Load More Replies... #24
Mangoes'nRum 7 years ago
A 'thumbs down' boo is weird. A 'I'm trying to scare you' boo is funny.
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Clare Ashton 7 years ago
In UK on Remembrance Day to mark the end of WW1 we hold a minutes silence at 11 am. When other tragic events happen we also hold a time of silence. It could be one of these.
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#25
Gabriel Sbárbaro 7 years ago
The song's name is "I'm Not The Man I Used To Be", not "Half The Man I Used To Be"...
Snorri Kristins 7 years ago
Bilateral above knee amputee. What I get from that is you cut the human by the knee and kept the leg as the remaining patient.
#27
Marnee DeRider 7 years ago
My niece's friend turned up pregnant to a wedding after having moved away for two years. We had all known her for years. I couldn't remember her circumstances, and I have no idea why, but when she said she was pregnant, I just asked casually, "Who's the father?" She replied, "My husband". Funny thing is, apparently I'm so well-known for saying dumb things my sister told me the young woman didn't think anything of it. (I, however, am still mortified.)
Sabine Weyermann 7 years ago
To all people thinking it’s not believable: I have ADD and I do this kind of stuff rather often...
Jenny Lorenz 7 years ago
"How are you keeping?" is an odd thing to ask anyway. Well, maybe it's in a part of the world that says this and I never knew til now.
Jace 7 years ago
The brain processes words much differently than what you assume. It's not the phonemes or rhyming. Concepts can come out with completely muddled vocabulary.
Load More Replies... #28
Chris Pitch 7 years ago
Not your fault. You weren't to know and if the dude didn't show ya before getting into an argument or not explaining to you properly, it seems like they were trying to make you feel bad, and in front of people.
Christina Sersif 7 years ago
I'm guessing disco is one of those words that the English say different than Americans?
bob 7 years ago
Not ouch. How was she supposed to know his left hand was missing?
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Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
This is the third dentist-tongue story on the thread! I didn't realise that dentists tasted so nice!
#30
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
A rule of life - never congratulate someone for their pregnancy until they actually tell you they're expecting. I've avoided some very close calls by following that maxim!
MEB 7 years ago
I am almost 8 months pregnant and for the past few weeks, there has been no mistaking possible : I am very much "with child". So, almost everyday now, when I'm out and about, random people will comment about my bump and ask me questions, such as when am I due. I just LOVE to answer "Oh, it's not a baby, it's a tumor". The faces they make! I think I'm gonna start recording their reactions with my phone it's so funny! :)
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
Had a close call in a "related" story : my ex was a nurse, used to pick her up when she finished her shift. Saw her talking to a colleague who had just had a baby and she was showing pics. Good thing I wasn't saying to much except "beautiful baby" .... and not something like : "and how is it doing now ?" My #$&* ex didn't tell me until later it was... stillborn....
Alice Beith 7 years ago
Something similar happened to me :( a woman with a big tummy that looked exactly like a pregnancy bump (it was swollen, not fat) came in the organic shop where I was working. She asked for a supplement (I was in the Health & Bodycare department), I started to show her and said:"These can also be taken during pregnancy". She looked at me and said:"I'm not pregnant". I just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and disappear... XD
#32
Mimis Nachbarin 7 years ago
Much worse things in that world can happen to people than beeing naked at a beach for a second. Relax.
Lindsay Wilson 7 years ago
But it’s an article about embarrassing incidents, and I’d say accidentally revealing your bare a**e to a crowd is pretty damn embarrassing. No one is trying to say it’s the worst thing in the whole world
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Kiss Army 7 years ago
In my late teen, I took a dive off the high dive at the swimming pool and felt my bikini top raise up, I pull it down before I got out of the water BUT once I saw the shocked face of an old man I looked down and realized I had pulled it down to far and my boob was hanging out. Even worse I had to stay at the pool until my mom came and picked me up at the arranged time.
#33
diane a 7 years ago
I regularly leave the house with the TV remote in my bag instead of my mobile
Nici Palmer 7 years ago
at friends house.. desperately trying to change the channel on her telly... while she was on her cell to someone..... had begun calling London England.!. friend was watching me and was on floor laughing so much she was unable to tell me what i was doing..using her cordless ph, not a remote!
Nini* Mini* 7 years ago
Did the same with my ac control,someone in the store had the same ringtone,I was at the cashier's counter when their mobile rang, i reached into my handbag pulled out my ac control and answered, cashier looked at me as if I was a crazy person
#34
#36
diane a 7 years ago
i worked as Admin in an Establishment where all 52 relidents were in wheelchairs - hilairity abounded
diane a 7 years ago
Those with long term disabilities generally have great senses of humour about themselves and their situations
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Suzi Gauthier 7 years ago
I have a paraplegic friend in a wheelchair who is always saying he is going to "walk" down the street, etc. It made me giggle at first, but I didn't know him well enough then to say anything, but now I'm used to it.
Nick Thornber 7 years ago
When my double amputee father died the undertaker, a family friend, asked for "shoes and socks to dress the deceeased". We laughed uncontrollably but he looked mortified.
#37
Sabine Weyermann 7 years ago
Come on... I’m not a native english speaker and I understood it perfectly.
Load More Replies... Christina Sersif 7 years ago
I'm guessing he was still drunk when he wrote this. No idea what happened
Vlatko Šagud 7 years ago
Wee mates met mate went to see a wee bit later than what the mates might meet wee. There, happy deciphering.
#38
Katinka Min 7 years ago
Funerals like that are the best (at least when it'S the funeral of someone who died of old age.) It might take a while, but eventually the family will laugh about this for years to come.
#39
Caroline Brouard 7 years ago
They didn't know ! They probably wouldn't have reacted like that otherwise.
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Lucinda Overhoussen 7 years ago
I would be too ashamed to repeat this story. That fact that this girl had no hands made it as a separate tweet/punch line suggests the long hard look you should have given yourself wasn't long or hard enough.
Hamza Sameer 7 years ago
I saw people play musical instruments with half arms or feet. It's really impressive. And some of them were really good.
Load More Replies... Scott Basham 7 years ago
Fell kind of dumb for asking, but what does he mean when he said he got “baked”?
Jace 7 years ago
I'm all for legalization of drugs, but this is a great example of why regulation is still a great idea. Irresponsibility is irresponsibility.
Anna Lourie 7 years ago
Who says they wouldn't have laughed, if they were "sober"?
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#40
just a thought! 7 years ago
This will never happen with me cause I never say "I love you" just like that lol ...
Hanna Tilman 7 years ago
Me too, plus I hate phone calling especially when there are people who can hear me lol
Load More Replies... Mimis Nachbarin 7 years ago
That's a simple matter of habit. You tell everyone and everything you love them, so it is clear that this can happen...
Binxyminxem 7 years ago
Lol reminds me of the time my hairdresser said "love you" at the end of a call once! I was only ringing for an appointment 😄
Kate McInnes 7 years ago
Got some good news while at work some years ago - could hardly contain myself, told work mate about it while doing a little excited stamp up and down on the floor. Work mate hugged me saying "Oh I'm sooo happy for you sweetheart". Think SHE died a little inside - she apologised and said she forgot she wasn't talking to one of her kids :) !!
Joan Taylor 7 years ago
My boss did this all the time: Bye Hon, love you. It's what he said to his wife and daughter. I worked with him for 30+ years, so I guess I earned it.
#41
Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Phrases like this are so common place in the English language. I remember being told by a blind person that they don't let it matter as they are just everyday sayings and no-one means any harm.
Caroline Brouard 7 years ago
My bet is it's common to pretty much every language. At least that's the case in french.
Load More Replies... Suzi Gauthier 7 years ago
I worked with the blind, and even the blind people say things like this. Sometimes it's worth a giggle, but mostly it just gets ignored.
Casandra Nițescu 7 years ago
Why is this embarassing though? "Keep an eye out for it" is just an expression.
#42
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
Not all of us have, but in third grade one of my class mates did this. The whole class laughed uproarously, much to the embarrassment of the poor girl. I blushed in sympathy...
PandaPiglet 7 years ago
I am a teacher and it happens more often than you would think. I think it's sweet. Both when they call me mom and dad..!
Carly Wahl 7 years ago
In third grade i once tried to kiss my teacher goodbye like i did my mom when i left
Marnee DeRider 7 years ago
In 6th grade (not that young), I called my teacher "Mom". Mr. Downing didn't bat an eye. And there was never a man who looked )or acted) less like a Mom than he. He was more of a Mike from Breaking Bad than "Mom".
Hope Smith 7 years ago
I've been called mom so much as a teacher that my mom says I'm not allowed to count students as her grandchildren. But there's 200 of them!
#43
Christina Sersif 7 years ago
I'm so confused. divers side? were they in a boat? he got in the wrong car?? I don't understand
#44
Sharon Chance 7 years ago
I was going through the checkout line at Kmart when the cashier told me my item was 50% off. I meant to say sweet but instead said sweetie. I just walked away.
#45
Jade Lynn 7 years ago
I think I did the opposite of this and made the person knocking embarrassed. They asked if my parents were home and I said "umm I own this house. My parents don't live here". It was awkward for me and I'm sure it was for them too haha
Dana Hill 7 years ago
-Are you parents home? -Probably. -May I speak with them? -Sure, but you'll have to go to their house instead of mine. *door slams shut*
Load More Replies... Kiss Army 7 years ago
I once called a company to complain about poor service and the Customer Service Representative asked me if my parents knew I was playing on the phone. I informed her that I was indeed 36 and offered her my parents phone number in case she wanted to call them. Then I asked for her supervisor and ended up with an apology and a very nice gift card!
Pata Alves 7 years ago
It happened to me as well. I was off one fine winter day in my pokemon onesie when some teenage kids on a charity run knocked and asked me if my parents were home. I asked them why and they said they needed to speak with someone 18 or older. I seriously tried not to laugh when I said I was 25. They were very embarrassed so I invited them for tea while they talked to me about their charity.
Teratai Ismail 7 years ago
I once almost finished spring cleaning my whole house, when someone knocked on the door. When i answered, the guy asked if my employer is at home. I said I'm the owner. I think he died inside a little that day.
Jette Pretzmann 7 years ago
When I was a young teenager, a man called us at the landline (it was before mobile phones) and asked me if my nice husband was home!! I put down the phone and called: “dad! Its for you!!” Not sure if I should laugh or be offended.
Binxyminxem 7 years ago
Awww poor squidgykins! Mind you I'm currently 30 and my mum says she still sees me as a little girl. Must be me baby face lol!
#46
400 Bad Request 7 years ago
I'm guessing that's where the "panic" part of the story came in. Thinking straight tends to become a little harder when you're panicking.
Load More Replies... #47
Katinka Min 7 years ago
Why woould she have that in her purse - along with all the grimy bills? O.o
#48
StrangeStars 7 years ago
She didn't deserve it, exactly, but it's also her fault. When a customer says something like that you don't ignore them.
#49
Miriam Brose 7 years ago
I once asked a friend if she has ever grown a beard just to see how oh looks. Well, that face... uuh... I stayed with that anyway and said I'd do that because I would be curious. She still likes me.
#50
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
The mood might have been lightened a little if the poor fellow had quipped "I'm blind, not deaf..."
#51
Laugh Fan 7 years ago
I did that once with a work colleague. I'd met both of his tiny, blond-haired children so when looking at a photo of a family day out I pointed to the dark haired figure and asked 'who is this boy?'. It was his wife.
Jaded Queen 7 years ago
But I thought dark hair was a dominant trait. May be dirty blonde
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just a thought! 7 years ago
This is why I just ask "who is this?" And not with a noun or pronoun .. makes things a lot easier
#52
Miriam Brose 7 years ago
I just wanted to write you could buy them anyway. Then the last words sunk in my head. Oops.
#53
Darryl Kerrigan 7 years ago
I thought it was a tiny caravan, so him having a wank was making the whole thing wobble....
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#54
#55
Hamlets twin 7 years ago
With all the effort going on down there I'm more surprised it doesn't happen all the time.
Rogue Angel 7 years ago
I did the same when I gave birth. My ex- made such a big thing out of it. The midwife just changed the towel.
S Wilmo 7 years ago
Little round chocolate candies in UK. look like American "whoppers" candies.
Load More Replies... Teratai Ismail 7 years ago
Oh that was my biggesr worry hahaha. I kept asking my husband, did i poop? For all 3 deliveries.
Bruce DePenha 7 years ago
It can be embarrassing, but if it helps, if those students couldn't handle that then they should immediately rethink their career choices.
Pamela24 7 years ago
Oh, come on, if you want to be a doctor you'll have to deal with much worse things or definitely this many times. Most certainly if you want to deliver babies. I don't envy this lady and I really wish this doesn't happen to me but she's right that this happens a lot with giving birth.
Load More Replies... #56
BarryAllenTheFlash 7 years ago
I had to give a small speech for school once, walked out into the audotirum, and proceeded to trip and take the miceophobe out with me 😬
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#58
#59
Suzi Gauthier 7 years ago
Coming back to work after many were on Christmas vacation, I got used to asking, "How was your Christmas?" I asked a poor woman who I had forgotten that I heard her mother died over the holiday. I realized it as soon as I had passed her & almost died myself.
Lindsay Wilson 7 years ago
My ex-boyfriend did this to our friend the day after her mother died: ‘cheer up, what’s wrong with you?!’ face palm forever
#60
Tarmin Slingerfinger 7 years ago
Cmon people. A perfect "wink wink nudge nudge" joke from Gordon there and y'all vote it down
#62
#63
Sasy 7 years ago
I am guessing small town, everyone knows someone you know, so the driver was too embarassed to say he didn't know him.
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#64
#65
Hope Smith 7 years ago
I was talking on Facebook with a guy from clasd that was creepin on me but I wasn't interested. I fall asleep. Next day, I wake up to about 20 messages asking where I was, why wasn't I replying, etc. I immediately reply with "Sorry, I fell asleep on you" paused, typed "Well not on you, that'll never happen" and tried again to fix it with "I mean I'm lucky I'm interested in both genders" and he replied with 'Stop trying to f*****g fix it, I get it'. It was an awkward rest of semester. Don't type half asleep people!
#66
Miriam Brose 7 years ago
Reminds me to the day when a sister of mine and I were about the same age. We sat a radio on record and she began to moan and groan. At the same time I played with a squeaky hole punch (the ones for paper). As we listened to this tape my sister immediately demanded we delete this because... obvious things... I STILL don't know why we did that.
Adam Jebem-ti Mater-Milanovic 7 years ago
Deadset, made me actually lol at 4.50am. The "do some comedy" line got me for some reason.
#67
Jessica Gunn 7 years ago
Not too embarrassing, maybe you were saying you would love to move there too...
#68
Michael Stokes-Byrne 7 years ago
Young Iggy Pop was arguably pretty damn cute.
Load More Replies... #69
Katinka Min 7 years ago
It happens when you mix different kind of booze. Or when you are so absorbed in dancing etc that you don't notice how drunk you are getting until, suddenly, you're totally wasted. Normal mistake to do at 18. You should eventually learn to know how much you can take.
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#70
Sally Appleton 7 years ago
Once I was trying to be nice by offering to get a blind girl at a university party a drink. For some inexplicable reason, I thought she was only blind in one eye. So I was holding the cup in front of her face waiting for her to take it (she didn't know I was there) when she leaned forward to talk to someone else.. Straight into the cup.
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#73
Miriam Brose 7 years ago
2004 I joined a group of drunk people sleeping by the wall of an big hall where a Techno Party was going on. I was drunk, felt bad and just wanted to sleep. A bit later I felt
Miriam Brose 7 years ago
better and could go on partying. Sorry for this. Accidentially pressed send...
Load More Replies... #74
bob 7 years ago
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Anger management is advised at this point...
Load More Replies... Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
Why do people feel the need to shout and drop the "F" bomb in such an innocuous situation. That was just terrible behavior regardless, I suggest some lessons in civility and basic human kindness.
Sheila Robinson 7 years ago
My Dad was deaf, and apparently this isn't unusual. Generally people talking to the back of his head so he couldn't lip read them...
Mimis Nachbarin 7 years ago
Wow, you've got one temper... What made you anyway shout at someone (deaf or not) in that situation?
Carmen Elena 7 years ago
My friend, deaf or no, that man didn´t deserve that language. "no, thank you" was enough.
#76
TheMsLollidella 7 years ago
Sis almost did the same. Wantes to catch a pokemon in that pokemon go app at the WWII museum >__> how are we realted, idk.
Josie Jones 7 years ago
I can understand taking pics but maybe not selfies. I mean for what purpose? I think selfies are gratuitous as the best of times it does make a person seem a bit self involved
ioana adriana 7 years ago
Not all have someone to take pictures for them...or worse,they suck at shooting a decent pic so its better to do it on your own ;-)
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#78
Binxyminxem 7 years ago
But everybody farts, Soooometiiimes. Hooold ooon, hoooooolld ooooooooooon... (Sorry this reminded me of a jokey version of a certain r.e.m song me and my Fiancé sing sometimes. Sooometiiiimes! I hope I haven't ruined it by posting this!)
Clowton 7 years ago
That will forever be in my head when I hear it now. Thank you.
Load More Replies... borklaser 7 years ago
2 years ago I was on a 3ish hour flight from NY to Dallas with my 3 daughters, one of whom is an older baby at the time. Somene had TERRIBLE, NOSTRIL SEARING Gas all 3 plus hours, my 4 go cried because it was so bad. everyone in line of sight was staring daggers at me and the flight attendant even asked if I wanted her to stay with my other children while I changed the baby's diaper. Baby was not to blame, and slept through the entire ordeal.
#79
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
Oo, after 32 of these I'm finally reminded of my own experience! A work colleague and I once took an intercity flight on a Fokker, and we were sitting in the 'plane with the starboard propeller runing, but the port one static. Whilst we waited for the last few people to board I leaned over to my colleague and commented "I wonder why they haven't started the other engine. The person in the seat in front turned to look silently at me - it was the golfer Jack Newton... Oh...
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#82
Hope Smith 7 years ago
Fresh out of high school, looking for a job. I'm out visiting my grand-mère when I get a call to go for an interview. I walk in, go to sit down and cross my leg, my steeltoe boot hooks her skirt, lifts it as high as my foot. I apologise, continue the interview. As I leave the building with mom asking if I got the job, I look down and notice what shirt I'm wearing: If you see Kat, why oh you. I did not get the job and I tossed that shirt.
#84
Clowton 7 years ago
I've heard "he could talk the hind leg off a donkey" or "he would chew your ear off". Maybe she wanted to combine them for efficiency.
Load More Replies... #85
M O'Connell 7 years ago
You wait for an opportune moment, lest it otherwise slip out in an uncontrolled manner. Your success may vary.
Load More Replies... #86
MammaG 7 years ago
Why should she smile for you in the first place? Do something worthy of it.
Keuthonymos 7 years ago
It was her choice to smile at him, he didn't go "SMILE AT ME OR AMA SHOOT YER". Get some friends, ya misery.
Load More Replies... #87
Nadja Lambacher 7 years ago
She wasn't naked, just not wearing a bra. If you have bigger boobs they bounce sans bra .
Load More Replies... #88
#89
Binxyminxem 7 years ago
I would have made that mistake too! I thought what are the chances he has false knees when I read this.
#91
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
I hear they invented something to hold all of that (except the tits) , it's called a purse or a clutch.
#92
Lin Martin 7 years ago
Arrived late, slipped into church just as the doors were closed, standing room only. Good some strange looks then the vicar said we were there to mourn the passing of 'George'. Didn't know the services were running late, we should have been at the next one. Had to partake in George's funeral, then file out the back door, run round to the front door and go in again for Ronald.
Emily Softley 7 years ago
At least this one isn't all bad. Sucks to miss the funeral you were meant to be attending though.
#93
Jace 7 years ago
No way to know the name was so critical and using the wrong word or name is a very common human thing.
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#96
Marnee DeRider 7 years ago
That phrasing, "I was sat..." is that a UK thing perhaps? (In US, normally we'd say, "I was sitting..." Just curious.
#97
Final score:
8points
#99
Hard 2 Guess 7 years ago
You don't even apologized for your bag brushing up to him, and he's an arsehole? I am thinking "Yeah, I AM an arsehole" was a sarcasm.
Marnee DeRider 7 years ago
I think it's rude to berate someone for a non-consequential accident. Yes, if he realized he had bumped the guy, he should apologize, but the seated man was also rude (though maybe not to the extent as to qualify as an arsehole).
#100
#101
#102
Clowton 7 years ago
"Be careful what you ask for. You might just get it."
Load More Replies... #103
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
I always tend to check behind me first.... which gives a weird signal to the person waving at me of course.
#104
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#108
Anna Lourie 7 years ago
not everyone has a problem with the taste . Especially if she is a smoker herself ^^
Load More Replies... #109
Jessica Gunn 7 years ago
Okay...I mean, that's what yearbooks are for....it's okay if there isn't a personal message
#110
Lucinda Overhoussen 7 years ago
Irish wakes have drinking. But if you know you can't handle it you'd have one?!
Load More Replies... #111
#112
Kate McInnes 7 years ago
Friend was participating in a fund raising long distance bike ride. I made a donation online and was complimenting/congratulating her on taking part in this and the many other 'good' things she gets involved in. Meant to say I love you for this, or for all that you do or something like that; only actually typed I love you. Realised how it sounded as soon as I pressed send; think it embarrassed her. She never said anything but things changed just a little.
#113
Carol Emory 7 years ago
I just had one yesterday where I sent an e-mail to my prof saying "May not be in class today, car broke down." To which he replied "How long have you been going by yourself to our non-existant classroom." Turned out I sent it to the prof that I have an online only accounting class with. After an eye roll and two face palms, I forwarded it to my computer prof with the meme "You can only say WTF? so many times a day before you just start drinking." He sent me a laughing emoji back.
Hope Smith 7 years ago
Did you know if you reply to one email while another email is open in the next tab (like hit reply to one and right click reply to open another tab) the email will go to the last reply you hit? I was typing a quick reply to my sister while preparing to type a long one to my prof. He got my sister's email with a simple, "You're too cute. Love you!" Oddly my prof and I are friends now. He also got the other email, so that was good.
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What do you think ?
Pamela24 7 years ago
Wow a lot of these are about meeting people with disabilities. I wish schools did more in teaching how normal it is to have a disability, how to approach disabled people, what are the ways to help them or how to talk to them without offending them (especially through bringing them to schools) and generally include them in the society better.
Pamela24 7 years ago
Oh and I completely forgot - if you're interested in educating yourself more on this topic, go check out Jessica on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MissJessicaKH/playlists?shelf_id=1&view=50&sort=dd She makes great videos and really helped me with understanding the world of disabled people better.
Load More Replies...
Kenny Kulbiski 7 years ago
I saw a friend in a convenience store browsing through a girly magazine. Snuck up behind him, gave him a smack on the head, and told him he was a pervert and should be ashamed of himself. Guy was a complete stranger. Stammering ensued.
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
I couldn't pick one time, I've just generally acted like a complete idiot multiple times throughout my life
just a thought! 7 years ago
I relate completely to this... Too many incidents to share, that I don't even wanna do it
Load More Replies... Janine B. 7 years ago
Once I had a really really good hot stone massage. So the therapist started massaging my back. The massage table also had a hole to place your face in so I could l lie there very comfortable. After a couple of minutes I got so cosy and relaxed I dozed off a bit. Suddenly woke up making a slurpy sound. Realised I had started drooling on the floor. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be just really embarrassed. Decided for both. The massage therapist joined in laughing and said I wasn't the first one to drool on the floor. And that he was actually thinking about placing a bowl under the table. Oops. :D
glowworm2 7 years ago
That one's actually really cute. The massage therapist must be really good if some of the clients accidentally end up drooling. Drooling is generally a sign of being relaxed if anything.
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Monica Michelle 7 years ago
I use a wheelchair when I can't walk and was in a bookstore when a woman looked at the book I was buying and said ”oh my God that is such a good book you will just sit down and NEVEr get up again.....”defening silence in the store except my cackling. I thanked her for the laugh and the story
diane a 7 years ago
Aged 4 - onstage at the town panto - the rest of the dance troupe exited on time leaving me furiously tap dancing alone on the stage in front of 500 people - someone had to drag me off
John Louis 7 years ago
It was 1992. I bear a resemblance to Pat Sajak, and feel that gives me the right to go up to someone and tell that they look like a celebrity. I see a person who looks like the newly elected President Bill Clinton. I approach the person and remark, "You look like Bill Clinton." True Story it was a woman.
with a Y and a Z 7 years ago
my husband cooks a local delicacy of their province where it needs pig brain..so i ask the butcher "do you have brains?" everyone around me starts to laugh specially if they says "no".. i think i did this more than once
Nikita Harris 7 years ago
In my early 20s I used to think it was funny to reply ‘Your MOM is/does (adjective/activity)!’ So for example, if someone told me ‘You’re ridiculous.’ I’d reply ‘Your MOM’s ridiculous!’ Well a guy I had just started hanging out with and trying to get to know romantically invited me to hang out at his step dad’s beach house over the weekend one summer. We were relaxing and talking and I don’t remember exactly what he said, but he threw a playful jab at me. I, in turn replied with the ‘Your MOM’ thing. He asked ‘What?’ And I said it again. Emphasizing the word ‘mom’ even louder. He just sort of, forced a smile and changed the subject. Later that evening I went to the fridge for a beer. Saw her memorial pamphlet on the fridge. I had forgotten. His mom was dead. Fuuuuuuuuck
Pamela24 7 years ago
Wow a lot of these are about meeting people with disabilities. I wish schools did more in teaching how normal it is to have a disability, how to approach disabled people, what are the ways to help them or how to talk to them without offending them (especially through bringing them to schools) and generally include them in the society better.
Pamela24 7 years ago
Oh and I completely forgot - if you're interested in educating yourself more on this topic, go check out Jessica on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MissJessicaKH/playlists?shelf_id=1&view=50&sort=dd She makes great videos and really helped me with understanding the world of disabled people better.
Load More Replies... Kenny Kulbiski 7 years ago
I saw a friend in a convenience store browsing through a girly magazine. Snuck up behind him, gave him a smack on the head, and told him he was a pervert and should be ashamed of himself. Guy was a complete stranger. Stammering ensued.
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
I couldn't pick one time, I've just generally acted like a complete idiot multiple times throughout my life
just a thought! 7 years ago
I relate completely to this... Too many incidents to share, that I don't even wanna do it
Load More Replies... Janine B. 7 years ago
Once I had a really really good hot stone massage. So the therapist started massaging my back. The massage table also had a hole to place your face in so I could l lie there very comfortable. After a couple of minutes I got so cosy and relaxed I dozed off a bit. Suddenly woke up making a slurpy sound. Realised I had started drooling on the floor. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be just really embarrassed. Decided for both. The massage therapist joined in laughing and said I wasn't the first one to drool on the floor. And that he was actually thinking about placing a bowl under the table. Oops. :D
glowworm2 7 years ago
That one's actually really cute. The massage therapist must be really good if some of the clients accidentally end up drooling. Drooling is generally a sign of being relaxed if anything.
Load More Replies... Monica Michelle 7 years ago
I use a wheelchair when I can't walk and was in a bookstore when a woman looked at the book I was buying and said ”oh my God that is such a good book you will just sit down and NEVEr get up again.....”defening silence in the store except my cackling. I thanked her for the laugh and the story
diane a 7 years ago
Aged 4 - onstage at the town panto - the rest of the dance troupe exited on time leaving me furiously tap dancing alone on the stage in front of 500 people - someone had to drag me off
John Louis 7 years ago
It was 1992. I bear a resemblance to Pat Sajak, and feel that gives me the right to go up to someone and tell that they look like a celebrity. I see a person who looks like the newly elected President Bill Clinton. I approach the person and remark, "You look like Bill Clinton." True Story it was a woman.
with a Y and a Z 7 years ago
my husband cooks a local delicacy of their province where it needs pig brain..so i ask the butcher "do you have brains?" everyone around me starts to laugh specially if they says "no".. i think i did this more than once
Nikita Harris 7 years ago
In my early 20s I used to think it was funny to reply ‘Your MOM is/does (adjective/activity)!’ So for example, if someone told me ‘You’re ridiculous.’ I’d reply ‘Your MOM’s ridiculous!’ Well a guy I had just started hanging out with and trying to get to know romantically invited me to hang out at his step dad’s beach house over the weekend one summer. We were relaxing and talking and I don’t remember exactly what he said, but he threw a playful jab at me. I, in turn replied with the ‘Your MOM’ thing. He asked ‘What?’ And I said it again. Emphasizing the word ‘mom’ even louder. He just sort of, forced a smile and changed the subject. Later that evening I went to the fridge for a beer. Saw her memorial pamphlet on the fridge. I had forgotten. His mom was dead. Fuuuuuuuuck
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