It is incredibly hard for people to understand what being a parent and raising kids is like until they have children of their own. While well-meaning, your non-parent friends can come off as unintentionally hilarious and just a bit ridiculous with some of their suggestions. Like telling you to ‘just bring the baby’ to the rock concert/camping trip/bar they’re desperate to go to.

Redditor u/lohype started up a very energetic and bubbly thread about all the silly things that childless people tell parents. And it all shows just how unaware many non-parents are of how much having a kid impacts your life. The well-meaning silliness is off the charts in this list, and we hope that it makes you smile, dear Pandas.

Scroll down for the best ‘just bring the baby’ moments, upvote your favorite ones, and tell us all about your experience with your non-parent friends in the comments.

Bored Panda reached out to redditor u/lohype, the creator of the insightful thread, and she was kind enough to share her thoughts about parenting with us. She told us that once you have children, it really is like the start of a new era.

"It is a total shift in every possible respect; your priorities, your worldview, and your day-to-day life. Everything you do happens through the lens of what’s best for your child. Furthermore, the goalposts are constantly shifting—my son is seven months old and his needs and challenges have changed completely drastically every few weeks since he was born," she opened up to Bored Panda.

According to the mom, crossing over into the parenting world will challenge your beliefs and assumptions about the world. "You’ll start to see so many things in a new light, from which spaces are not designed with strollers in mind to how political issues could threaten your child’s future." Scroll down for the full interview.

#1

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”

My wife replies, “and clean when the baby cleans. Cook when the baby cooks.”

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Marcellus the Third
Community Member
2 months ago

The hard one is "poop/vomit when the baby poops/vomits". Practically impossible to keep up.

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#2

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents I’ve been invited to two weddings recently. Both told me to bring my toddler. My completely feral, 0% socialized because of the pandemic, toddler. To a wedding. With a formal ceremony and a formal sit down dinner. No. No thank you.

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Buren
Community Member
2 months ago

That is nice of you. I have seen way too many delusional parents who think their kids are well-behaved and it's a hell mess

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#3

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents When I was nine months pregnant with my first I was so miserable and uncomfortable. I actually said out loud to a friend who already had kids that I couldn’t wait for my baby to be born already “so I can get some sleep.” My friend- being the angel that she is just nodded and smiled.

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ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴘʟᴀʏs_ᴄʀᴋ
Community Member
2 months ago

your friend seems like an angel

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According to mom u/lohype, she hasn't noticed in her social circle that anyone feels pressured to have kids just because their peers do. "It has not been my experience that people have children because they feel pressured by other friends or family members. It’s a deeply personal decision that alters the course of your life forever, and it absolutely isn’t the right choice for everyone," she said.

"I love my son and being his mom, but I have always tried to be realistic in my expectations—I knew it wasn’t going to be glamorous."

#4

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents I’m 36 weeks pregnant with my second and had lunch out with a friend today who said to me ‘it’ll be great, once you’re on maternity leave you’ll be able to go out all the time for lunches and drinks’ …. …. I don’t think the concept of having a baby is quite understood there!!!

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Sapna Sarfare
Community Member
2 months ago

Which idiot says that???

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#5

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents Here is a great one that I am guilty of having used pre-kid:

“My kid will never/ I will never something something my kid”

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Jerry The Joker
Community Member
2 months ago

I don't remember what the issue was but my sister once gave me some advice about children that I ignored. Until I had children. I called her and apologized.

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#6

"Just let them cry it out! Just tune it out!"

No matter where you fall on the 'cry it out' argument, listening to ANY baby cry for more than a few minutes is like nails on a chalkboard. It's not something you just 'tune out', any more than you 'tune out' an air raid siren.

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Sam
Community Member
2 months ago

Its meant to be that way. Its biologically hardwired. its also why cats have tuned thier cries to be baby like. Now you can't ignore them either

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Bored Panda was interested to hear the redditor's take on what a couple that's sitting on the fence about whether or not to have a baby should do. In her opinion, it's the perfect opportunity to evaluate their lives and goals.

"I think fence-sitting is a really healthy place to be because it means you’re ready to examine what your life might be like with or without children. Nothing can truly prepare you for the experience of becoming a parent but taking your time in making the decision is definitely the best way to reach the right conclusion," she said.

#7

“She’s asleep, just leave her at home while you pop out.” Like, absolutely no! The idea of leaving the house and leaving her alone scares the crap out of me. (She’s only 4 months old for goodness sake)

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Wilko Lunenburg
Community Member
2 months ago

It's illegal.

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#8

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents "Sounds like you need a coffee!" When I was explaining how hard work is when I'm so exhausted I don't always understand what people are saying to me. Tried to explain the difference between long term sleep deprivation and like, one bad night's sleep. "OK that sounds bad, make it two coffees!" She has baby twins now...

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housea
Community Member
2 months ago

karma

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#9

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents "Don't stop your hobbies! Just bring the kids along!" Usually said by a married man who's wife runs everything for him so he can just do this thing without the kids messing it up.

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Sam
Community Member
2 months ago

I guess it depends on the kid and thier age, but I was an active participant in my parents' hobbies: fishing and hiking with dad, riding horses with mom. And according to my mother the fact that it was something we did together made it extra special. She still says she misses riding with me.

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"If you feel okay about the sacrifices (sleep, free time, flexibility) and you’re driven by a deep desire to shape a human being, you will do just fine. Personally, I found it easy to anticipate the kinda sucky things about being a parent because everyone warns you about them," redditor u/lohype told us.

"However, nothing prepared me for the amount of love I have for my baby and how fascinated I am by everything he does. I kind of assumed I would feel the same way I do when I hold someone else’s baby—it couldn’t be more different. The feeling I get when my son nestles into me is incomparable to anything I’ve felt before."

#10

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents "Just find a baby sitter for this thing I just invited you to that starts in an hour"

Uh dude ... thats not how any of this works :D

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ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴘʟᴀʏs_ᴄʀᴋ
Community Member
2 months ago

i don’t have kids but that’s insane

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#11

I will never let my child be in public with a dirty face!

2 years later ...

She's actually not screaming for once and that chocolate pudding isn't hurting a damn soul.

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Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
2 months ago

🤣 yup

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#12

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents My family that lives like 1.5 to 2 hours away tells me to bring the baby over to see them. Meanwhile they have never come to see the baby. ... sure... you can't manage to drive this far as an adult but you want me to bring the baby?

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Hphizzle
Community Member
2 months ago

As a single woman, I always travel to my friends with kids. I’m easily movable and much more flexible with my time.

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Raising kids is no joke. Relationship and dating expert Dan Bacon, a proud father of two, spoke to Bored Panda a while back about finding the right balance between being a strict and fun parent. He stressed that patience is vital, and that parents should realize that children always push boundaries to see what they can get away with.

“In order to be good, functioning citizens of a society, children do need to be shown what is good and what is bad. However, you have to remember that a child is a clean slate and is effectively innocent,” the expert told us.

“The child will often say and do things that could make you angry if you don’t understand that he/she is simply testing to see what is okay or not, or what the limits are. Without testing, the child will just sit there, be quiet and do nothing, which isn’t going to happen,” Dan said.

#13

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents "We bought a little something for the kiddo!"

Please...please no more. Our little apartment couldn't fit all of the toys dumped on her. Now, our full size house can't fit all of the toys dumped on her. She doesn't need more stuffed animals. She doesn't need more coloring books. She doesn't need more crayons or markers or blocks. She definitely never needed any stickers, and I will start ending relationships over the continued introduction of kinetic sand into my home (yes, it's better and cleaner than Play-Doh...until it isn't).

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Buren
Community Member
2 months ago

You should tell them upfront, and request for useful things instead like diaper and formula if they really want to bring something. Or cake for mom and dad

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#14

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents It’s truly unreal the extent to which people without kids don’t get it. My brother-in-law would get on us at the last family vacation for eating breakfast so early….when we did it because the kids were up and can’t exactly feed themselves. They’re expecting now and part of me can’t wait for them to get whacked by reality.

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housea
Community Member
2 months ago

This is the real reason why nobody truly warns would-be parents what they’re in for…

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#15

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents My friend works nights so when she’s off she wants to meet up during the day, she drinks and I don’t which is totally fine but when I say what time nap time is she always says “just skip it” I’m like “are you insane?”

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I Just Changed My Name
Community Member
2 months ago

Yeah, she's trippin

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“The child wants to explore the world around it and see what he/she can and cannot do. The child will also regularly forget what is right or wrong at times, or remember that something is wrong, but do it again anyway to see if you have a different response this time.”

He continued: “By doing it again, the child often shows you that it doesn’t need to follow a particular rule because the rule was too strict, or unnecessary, which then results in you changing and allowing the child to do it from then on.”

Dan pointed out that parents should be realistic about instilling positive habits in their children by thinking about how long it takes for them to do the same thing.

#16

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents I was the first of my friend group to have kids.

I remember them all heading off camping to a huge 3day music festival - minimal electricity, shower or toilet facilities. Like - not even port-a-loos.

I was 3days post partum and they couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t come and just bring the baby along.

They only stopped asking when I said We’d go - but someone would have to take responsibility for disposing of my giant maternity pads….

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PandaGoPanda
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

Now that is a new level of insensitivity, even teenagers and single middle-aged blokes understand without being told that no woman is going anywhere 3 days after birth.

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#17

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents My married SILs said this to me before they had kids.

"You shouldn't have schedules for them. It's really OCD."

A year after they had their babies: "how do you get them to do what you want/ go to bed?"

Sleep schedules. Keeping track of their naps.

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Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
2 months ago

Starting kids on a good sleep schedule early in life makes it a lot easier for them to maintain one when they're on their own and settled down as well.

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#18

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents "You can sleep when the baby sleeps!’

And before my son was born I wholeheartedly believed this, I now realise that while this works for some parents for others (like me) this is a mythical idea something in the realm of reality of unicorns

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Natalie Kudryashova
Community Member
2 months ago

As a parent of three, I try most of the time to sleep when they sleep. You need your sleep, other things can wait

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“You need to be patient as the child grows up and figures out how to behave and approach life in a way that suits you and himself/herself. One way to think about expecting a child to change or follow your orders is to remember how long it can take you to change a certain behavior as an adult,” he said.

“Sometimes it can take weeks or months for you to stop a habit, change a behavior or take on a new behavior that people are asking of you, so you shouldn’t expect a child to change everything overnight and be completely obedient to every new rule you come up with," Dan noted.

"You have to love patiently, otherwise being a parent will make you feel stressed all the way through the child’s life.”

#19

“You should/shouldn’t let your kid do X.” I will decide what is acceptable behavior or not. The most common one is telling me I shouldn’t let my kid cry. He’s a kid. When I was a kid. I cried a lot. Many people told me not to cry. I didn’t stop being “sensitive,” I just stopped sharing and resented people for it. My son can cry. Don’t worry, I’ll leave the room. His emotions are valid.

It’s always advice like, as if it’s my first day with my son.

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Novel Idesa
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

This is infuriating and I used to get it a lot as parent of an autistic kid. "You shouldn't let your kid wear headphones at the dinner table." "You shouldn't give in to her tantrums, you're spoiling her." Actually a tantrum and a meltdown aren't the same thing, Karen, and nobody asked for your ignorant input. Do you understand what overstimulation is, how to avoid it (with things like headphones) and how to manage it when it happens? No? Then stay in your lane.

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#20

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents My friend constantly compares my having a toddler and newborn to her having a ten year old black lab. Not even kind of the same thing.

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Buren
Community Member
2 months ago

I have dog, I take care of dogs, but I disagree with kid's comparison. Affection, responsibility, yes, you have to treat pets as family, but there are whole lot of other efforts to make sure the person one brings to the world would become decent and capable human being.

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#21

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents My boss (who is actually a parent) said to me that if I had any training sessions I didn’t want to miss while I’m as on maternity leave (which are at least several long usually) I could “bring him with me as long as he’s a good baby”. Because we all know how predictable babies are

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Rahul Pawa
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm extra bothered by the phrase "good baby". So some babies are just "bad"? 🤨

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#22

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents This hits home for me. After three girls it's so easy for other people to say, "Oh you should really try again for that boy!"

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Krysta Pandoo
Community Member
2 months ago

People keep saying that to me after my two boys. 'You need to try for a girl next!'. Being esctatic with boys and not wanting another kid let alone a girl is like a foreign concept.

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#23

Basically the moment my sister-in-law was pregnant, my older brother decided that he knew all about child-rearing and wanted to give me all kinds of advice about my 2 yo. They were going to babysit while we went to a wedding and he said they were going to grill hot dogs and go swimming. LO had been in a pool ONE TIME for the one lesson I had been able to schedule and never eaten hot dogs. When I explained to my brother that hot dogs are the #1 choking hazard food for kids under 5 and I could bring chicken nuggets/whatever so he didn't have to buy anything, and that I didn't feel comfortable with him going swimming without us there, he called me a helicopter parent and that I was "ruining" my son. A week later they had a party to announce their pregnancy and he introduced me to my sister-in-law's family as "my sister, AKA my nephew's very overprotective mom." Nice.

They did not babysit for us.

Their son is now about 4 months and has barely left the house. Who's overprotective now?

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housea
Community Member
2 months ago

Send them a gift for their new baby! A toy helicopter would work just fine

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#24

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents I visited one of my friends when I was still childless. She was like a week postpartum and still struggling a lot with breastfeeding. Baby wanted to eat. I was like: “I don’t mind! Just feed her! I’ll just watch!” She was probably too polite to kick me out.

I’m so sorry. I had no idea.

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housea
Community Member
2 months ago

My first attempt at breastfeeding was at the center of a circle of friends, family and strangers in the NICU (newborn intensive care unit). All watching intently. It did not go well. We figured it out eventually though. :)

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#25

I have a 7-month-old son and I’m very fortunate that most of my friends either want kids or love them, so he’s very popular. However, now that I’m a parent myself, I find it some of the assumptions and things they say SO funny, especially since I had exactly the same logic before I had a kid of my own. Probably the most common one I hear is, in reference to a late-night gathering at someone’s home, “Just bring the baby! We’d love to see him!” It makes me giggle because I used to say stuff like this all the time and my mom friends were probably too exasperated to explain the concept of bedtime to me.

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Francesca Annoni
Community Member
2 months ago

I love dinner with friend with kids.. we have a lot of very organised friends... " dinner with kids?" "OK, not later than 7 pm, menu for kids with pasta with tomato sauce or pizza, carrots and small tomatoes to eat, a table for the kids near the TV, and at 9,30 pm everyone goes home" "perfect , we'll bring ice cream for kids and beer for adults"

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#26

My sister-in-law had a baby right around Thanksgiving, several weeks early after a very high risk pregnancy that landed her in the hospital the last 4 weeks of her pregnancy on observation/bed rest. Her sister couldn't understand why she was "ruining Christmas" by not wanting to go camping over Christmas/New Year's. Keep in mind, the trip was being planned when the baby was anticipated to be born on Christmas Eve...

When he was born around Thanksgiving the sister rejoiced! The camping trip must be on! Only to be let down by her sister and pesky nephew's medical needs coming first. ::sigh::

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not_at_school ;)
Community Member
2 months ago

thats... very entitled

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#27

“Have you tried 'most common solution'”

No, Brenda. Somehow that incredibly common option that we’ve used for all our other fussy babies never occurred to us. That’s so incredibly helpful you should write a book!

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housea
Community Member
2 months ago

So great when parents of easy babies suggest “most common solution” as though you’re just too dumb to have tried it. Not all babies are the same! Some are super chill and others won’t sleep more than 2 hrs at a time for the whole first year, and no book is going to install an off switch on the latter baby.

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#28

Childless people seemed confused about over stimulation to me. Like why I asked for permission to use a bedroom and I carried a fussy baby to a dark room for rocking. My son would throw his nursing cover and screech if there was too much excitement going on as well as unlatching to lift his head and try to look around at the excitement. Feeding uncovered in a dimly lit, quiet room worked much better.

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Shelli Aderman
Community Member
2 months ago

Baby FOMO is REAL! 💕👍🏽

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#29

30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told Parents I was ranting about the lack of sleep because of the 6 month regression and my friend said "that's so weird, my dog has been waking up to pee at night too! I wonder if he's having a regression"

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Sam
Community Member
2 months ago

3am cat derby. Its very hard to sleep when you are actively being used as a spring board. And having toy mice thrown in your face so you can throw them.

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#30

My bio dad and stepmom would always invite us all over for dinner, always at 7/730. I told them constantly that we will always turn down dinner because I’m not pushing back my infant’s bedtime. Sometimes they’d even invite us over day of, with very little prep time. Please make it more obvious that you guys didn’t have kids lol (my bio dad divorced my mom when I was a baby and I know his ass was no help when I was an infant).

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Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
2 months ago

Sounds like the invite is just a formality so bio dad didn't feel a bad about not being involved as much as he should be.

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