30 Ridiculously Silly Things Childless People Have Told ParentsInterview With Author
It is incredibly hard for people to understand what being a parent and raising kids is like until they have children of their own. While well-meaning, your non-parent friends can come off as unintentionally hilarious and just a bit ridiculous with some of their suggestions. Like telling you to ‘just bring the baby’ to the rock concert/camping trip/bar they’re desperate to go to.
Redditor u/lohype started up a very energetic and bubbly thread about all the silly things that childless people tell parents. And it all shows just how unaware many non-parents are of how much having a kid impacts your life. The well-meaning silliness is off the charts in this list, and we hope that it makes you smile, dear Pandas.
Scroll down for the best ‘just bring the baby’ moments, upvote your favorite ones, and tell us all about your experience with your non-parent friends in the comments.
Bored Panda reached out to redditor u/lohype, the creator of the insightful thread, and she was kind enough to share her thoughts about parenting with us. She told us that once you have children, it really is like the start of a new era.
"It is a total shift in every possible respect; your priorities, your worldview, and your day-to-day life. Everything you do happens through the lens of what’s best for your child. Furthermore, the goalposts are constantly shifting—my son is seven months old and his needs and challenges have changed completely drastically every few weeks since he was born," she opened up to Bored Panda.
According to the mom, crossing over into the parenting world will challenge your beliefs and assumptions about the world. "You’ll start to see so many things in a new light, from which spaces are not designed with strollers in mind to how political issues could threaten your child’s future." Scroll down for the full interview.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
My wife replies, “and clean when the baby cleans. Cook when the baby cooks.”
I’ve been invited to two weddings recently. Both told me to bring my toddler. My completely feral, 0% socialized because of the pandemic, toddler. To a wedding. With a formal ceremony and a formal sit down dinner. No. No thank you.
When I was nine months pregnant with my first I was so miserable and uncomfortable. I actually said out loud to a friend who already had kids that I couldn’t wait for my baby to be born already “so I can get some sleep.” My friend- being the angel that she is just nodded and smiled.
According to mom u/lohype, she hasn't noticed in her social circle that anyone feels pressured to have kids just because their peers do. "It has not been my experience that people have children because they feel pressured by other friends or family members. It’s a deeply personal decision that alters the course of your life forever, and it absolutely isn’t the right choice for everyone," she said.
"I love my son and being his mom, but I have always tried to be realistic in my expectations—I knew it wasn’t going to be glamorous."
I’m 36 weeks pregnant with my second and had lunch out with a friend today who said to me ‘it’ll be great, once you’re on maternity leave you’ll be able to go out all the time for lunches and drinks’ …. …. I don’t think the concept of having a baby is quite understood there!!!
Here is a great one that I am guilty of having used pre-kid:
“My kid will never/ I will never something something my kid”
"Just let them cry it out! Just tune it out!"
No matter where you fall on the 'cry it out' argument, listening to ANY baby cry for more than a few minutes is like nails on a chalkboard. It's not something you just 'tune out', any more than you 'tune out' an air raid siren.
Bored Panda was interested to hear the redditor's take on what a couple that's sitting on the fence about whether or not to have a baby should do. In her opinion, it's the perfect opportunity to evaluate their lives and goals.
"I think fence-sitting is a really healthy place to be because it means you’re ready to examine what your life might be like with or without children. Nothing can truly prepare you for the experience of becoming a parent but taking your time in making the decision is definitely the best way to reach the right conclusion," she said.
“She’s asleep, just leave her at home while you pop out.” Like, absolutely no! The idea of leaving the house and leaving her alone scares the crap out of me. (She’s only 4 months old for goodness sake)
"Sounds like you need a coffee!" When I was explaining how hard work is when I'm so exhausted I don't always understand what people are saying to me. Tried to explain the difference between long term sleep deprivation and like, one bad night's sleep. "OK that sounds bad, make it two coffees!" She has baby twins now...
"Don't stop your hobbies! Just bring the kids along!" Usually said by a married man who's wife runs everything for him so he can just do this thing without the kids messing it up.
"If you feel okay about the sacrifices (sleep, free time, flexibility) and you’re driven by a deep desire to shape a human being, you will do just fine. Personally, I found it easy to anticipate the kinda sucky things about being a parent because everyone warns you about them," redditor u/lohype told us.
"However, nothing prepared me for the amount of love I have for my baby and how fascinated I am by everything he does. I kind of assumed I would feel the same way I do when I hold someone else’s baby—it couldn’t be more different. The feeling I get when my son nestles into me is incomparable to anything I’ve felt before."
"Just find a baby sitter for this thing I just invited you to that starts in an hour"
Uh dude ... thats not how any of this works :D
I will never let my child be in public with a dirty face!
2 years later ...
She's actually not screaming for once and that chocolate pudding isn't hurting a damn soul.
My family that lives like 1.5 to 2 hours away tells me to bring the baby over to see them. Meanwhile they have never come to see the baby. ... sure... you can't manage to drive this far as an adult but you want me to bring the baby?
Raising kids is no joke. Relationship and dating expert Dan Bacon, a proud father of two, spoke to Bored Panda a while back about finding the right balance between being a strict and fun parent. He stressed that patience is vital, and that parents should realize that children always push boundaries to see what they can get away with.
“In order to be good, functioning citizens of a society, children do need to be shown what is good and what is bad. However, you have to remember that a child is a clean slate and is effectively innocent,” the expert told us.
“The child will often say and do things that could make you angry if you don’t understand that he/she is simply testing to see what is okay or not, or what the limits are. Without testing, the child will just sit there, be quiet and do nothing, which isn’t going to happen,” Dan said.
"We bought a little something for the kiddo!"
Please...please no more. Our little apartment couldn't fit all of the toys dumped on her. Now, our full size house can't fit all of the toys dumped on her. She doesn't need more stuffed animals. She doesn't need more coloring books. She doesn't need more crayons or markers or blocks. She definitely never needed any stickers, and I will start ending relationships over the continued introduction of kinetic sand into my home (yes, it's better and cleaner than Play-Doh...until it isn't).
It’s truly unreal the extent to which people without kids don’t get it. My brother-in-law would get on us at the last family vacation for eating breakfast so early….when we did it because the kids were up and can’t exactly feed themselves. They’re expecting now and part of me can’t wait for them to get whacked by reality.
My friend works nights so when she’s off she wants to meet up during the day, she drinks and I don’t which is totally fine but when I say what time nap time is she always says “just skip it” I’m like “are you insane?”
“The child wants to explore the world around it and see what he/she can and cannot do. The child will also regularly forget what is right or wrong at times, or remember that something is wrong, but do it again anyway to see if you have a different response this time.”
He continued: “By doing it again, the child often shows you that it doesn’t need to follow a particular rule because the rule was too strict, or unnecessary, which then results in you changing and allowing the child to do it from then on.”
Dan pointed out that parents should be realistic about instilling positive habits in their children by thinking about how long it takes for them to do the same thing.
I was the first of my friend group to have kids.
I remember them all heading off camping to a huge 3day music festival - minimal electricity, shower or toilet facilities. Like - not even port-a-loos.
I was 3days post partum and they couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t come and just bring the baby along.
They only stopped asking when I said We’d go - but someone would have to take responsibility for disposing of my giant maternity pads….
My married SILs said this to me before they had kids.
"You shouldn't have schedules for them. It's really OCD."
A year after they had their babies: "how do you get them to do what you want/ go to bed?"
Sleep schedules. Keeping track of their naps.
"You can sleep when the baby sleeps!’
And before my son was born I wholeheartedly believed this, I now realise that while this works for some parents for others (like me) this is a mythical idea something in the realm of reality of unicorns
“You need to be patient as the child grows up and figures out how to behave and approach life in a way that suits you and himself/herself. One way to think about expecting a child to change or follow your orders is to remember how long it can take you to change a certain behavior as an adult,” he said.
“Sometimes it can take weeks or months for you to stop a habit, change a behavior or take on a new behavior that people are asking of you, so you shouldn’t expect a child to change everything overnight and be completely obedient to every new rule you come up with," Dan noted.
"You have to love patiently, otherwise being a parent will make you feel stressed all the way through the child’s life.”
“You should/shouldn’t let your kid do X.” I will decide what is acceptable behavior or not. The most common one is telling me I shouldn’t let my kid cry. He’s a kid. When I was a kid. I cried a lot. Many people told me not to cry. I didn’t stop being “sensitive,” I just stopped sharing and resented people for it. My son can cry. Don’t worry, I’ll leave the room. His emotions are valid.
It’s always advice like, as if it’s my first day with my son.
My friend constantly compares my having a toddler and newborn to her having a ten year old black lab. Not even kind of the same thing.
My boss (who is actually a parent) said to me that if I had any training sessions I didn’t want to miss while I’m as on maternity leave (which are at least several long usually) I could “bring him with me as long as he’s a good baby”. Because we all know how predictable babies are
This hits home for me. After three girls it's so easy for other people to say, "Oh you should really try again for that boy!"
Basically the moment my sister-in-law was pregnant, my older brother decided that he knew all about child-rearing and wanted to give me all kinds of advice about my 2 yo. They were going to babysit while we went to a wedding and he said they were going to grill hot dogs and go swimming. LO had been in a pool ONE TIME for the one lesson I had been able to schedule and never eaten hot dogs. When I explained to my brother that hot dogs are the #1 choking hazard food for kids under 5 and I could bring chicken nuggets/whatever so he didn't have to buy anything, and that I didn't feel comfortable with him going swimming without us there, he called me a helicopter parent and that I was "ruining" my son. A week later they had a party to announce their pregnancy and he introduced me to my sister-in-law's family as "my sister, AKA my nephew's very overprotective mom." Nice.
They did not babysit for us.
Their son is now about 4 months and has barely left the house. Who's overprotective now?
I visited one of my friends when I was still childless. She was like a week postpartum and still struggling a lot with breastfeeding. Baby wanted to eat. I was like: “I don’t mind! Just feed her! I’ll just watch!” She was probably too polite to kick me out.
I’m so sorry. I had no idea.
I have a 7-month-old son and I’m very fortunate that most of my friends either want kids or love them, so he’s very popular. However, now that I’m a parent myself, I find it some of the assumptions and things they say SO funny, especially since I had exactly the same logic before I had a kid of my own. Probably the most common one I hear is, in reference to a late-night gathering at someone’s home, “Just bring the baby! We’d love to see him!” It makes me giggle because I used to say stuff like this all the time and my mom friends were probably too exasperated to explain the concept of bedtime to me.
My sister-in-law had a baby right around Thanksgiving, several weeks early after a very high risk pregnancy that landed her in the hospital the last 4 weeks of her pregnancy on observation/bed rest. Her sister couldn't understand why she was "ruining Christmas" by not wanting to go camping over Christmas/New Year's. Keep in mind, the trip was being planned when the baby was anticipated to be born on Christmas Eve...
When he was born around Thanksgiving the sister rejoiced! The camping trip must be on! Only to be let down by her sister and pesky nephew's medical needs coming first. ::sigh::
“Have you tried 'most common solution'”
No, Brenda. Somehow that incredibly common option that we’ve used for all our other fussy babies never occurred to us. That’s so incredibly helpful you should write a book!
Childless people seemed confused about over stimulation to me. Like why I asked for permission to use a bedroom and I carried a fussy baby to a dark room for rocking. My son would throw his nursing cover and screech if there was too much excitement going on as well as unlatching to lift his head and try to look around at the excitement. Feeding uncovered in a dimly lit, quiet room worked much better.
I was ranting about the lack of sleep because of the 6 month regression and my friend said "that's so weird, my dog has been waking up to pee at night too! I wonder if he's having a regression"
My bio dad and stepmom would always invite us all over for dinner, always at 7/730. I told them constantly that we will always turn down dinner because I’m not pushing back my infant’s bedtime. Sometimes they’d even invite us over day of, with very little prep time. Please make it more obvious that you guys didn’t have kids lol (my bio dad divorced my mom when I was a baby and I know his ass was no help when I was an infant).
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