Man Buys Wife New Bras After Learning About Her Work Nickname: “So Embarrassing”
The name we’re born with isn’t always the name that sticks. Sometimes we pick up a nickname along the way and that’s what we’re known as from henceforth on. Maybe it’s just a shortened version of our name. Perhaps it’s chosen by friends or family because of something we once did, or an identifying feature we have.
A nurse, who wants to be known as Jessica, says she was completely mortified to learn that her colleagues had given her a rather embarrassing nickname, and that they only used it behind her back. She found out by chance when a new co-worker spilled the beans – while not realizing they were talking to “Jessica with the…” The nurse is now considering reporting the matter to HR but many feel she shouldn’t.
She was mortified to learn that her colleagues had a secret nickname for her
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Now “Jessica with the …” wants to report the matter to HR but it might make things worse
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: aitani**lenurse
Most adults have been called a nickname at work, and not everyone is comfortable with theirs
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Nearly nine out of 10 U.S. adults have either been called by a nickname at work or seen someone else be called a nickname. That’s according to research carried out by Zhe Zhang, Assistant Professor of Marketing Ivey Business School and Shuili Du, Professor of Marketing Peter T. Paul College of Business and Economics University of New Hampshire.
The experts say that nicknaming is a type of “workplace deviance.” This basically means it violates the professional communication rules and is “at variance with the local etiquette.” They also say that nicknaming a co-worker can be both destructive and constructive, depending on what you call them.
The researchers refer to upward and downward nicknaming, saying that the latter is when a manager, team lead or boss, nicknames a subordinate.
“Examples of downward nicknaming include ‘Tiny T’ (for a subordinate who is short), ‘Speedy’ (referring to a subordinate who hurries with cleaning tasks), ‘Smurf’ (for someone being petite), and ‘Penny Pincher’ (for a subordinate who always introduces ‘new ways to be cost effective’),” explains the research paper.
Some people might not like their nicknames, while others may prefer not to be called by a nickname at work at all.
Experts advise taking action early if you don’t want to be called a particular nickname at work. “Do not assume that a nickname may disappear automatically or it could be a one-time thing so it can be allowed ‘this time’. It is much easier to stop a nickname at its early stage than when it’s well-known by many and is used for a long time,” warns the research paper.
It adds that you should politely tell colleagues how you feel, as well as how you’d prefer to be addressed professionally. Do this either directly or in more subtle ways, like dropping your preferred name into conversations as often as possible.
You could also choose a lightly passive-aggressive approach with a touch of humor, suggests Jo Bryant, a tutor at the English Manner etiquette training institute. And if that doesn’t work, Bryant advises the following: “Pretend not to react if someone summons you by the nickname (‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise you were talking to me’).”
And for those out there who have coined a nickname for a colleague, remember that your ‘gesture’ might not be appreciated.
“You should only call someone by a nickname if they give you permission to do so. It is basic respect,” says etiquette and protocol expert Laura Windsor.
The nurse later explained what she expected HR to do about it
But not everyone was convinced… some felt she shouldn’t report the matter to HR
“Came home to new bras”: the nurse revealed that she was getting some much-needed support
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Anybody who creates or uses a sexualizing nickname for a colleague is advertising themselves as a bad colleague who should be avoided. Look what resulted here: OP felt humiliated, realized that there was no way HR could help her without exposing her further, and now she is looking for a new job (as if hospitals can stand to lose good, trained staff over bullying behavior like this). Anyone who heard someone using this nickname should have pulled that person aside and warned them that this is the behavior that drives away good colleagues. Don't be a bystander to bullying and harassment. And OP is well rid of that 'friend' who views her body as a tool for his personal amusement, too.
In this case, OP has done half of her best possible response by getting the padded bras for her own comfort. The second part is to go to tell HR about the nickname problem in terms of "its a non issue now, but it could go badly if the wrong person gets or hears a s****l nickname, so HR might want to get in front of it with a clarification of nickname policy that allows for easy ID between similar names without potential problems " it is a good bet HR doesn't know this time b**b exists and if they are at all decent, will appreciate the warning before it's a potential lawsuit.
Load More Replies...Sounds like a mafia moniker: give this job to Jessica Nipples, she'll take care of it.
It plays very differently if men are included in this humor. But it also plays differently when it's a secret; it's the difference between teasing and demeaning, between laughing with someone and ridiculing them.
Men or women it's s****l harassment. Seemingly she's changed her underwear because of this! Seriously in the 21st century we're still reducing women to their body parts. The internal misogyny displayed here. So inappropriate in the work place.
Load More Replies...HR found out some people referred to me as the bunny. They dragged me in and a few more to admonish them to make me feel better. They then asked if I wanted to say something. I pointed to my name tag and the shirt I was wearing. My shirt had a rabbit with a cup of coffee and my name tag had a sticker reading The Bunnyman. Said "I appreciate the gesture but The Bunny is my work nickname. So please get with me before making me feel bad for a nickname I like"
Did everyone clock this woman's husband buying her the perfect bra? A marriage can't be happier than that.
I did totally he’s awesome isn’t he defo a keeper x
Load More Replies...That’s an awful nickname like it for real means they will say ask Jessica with the n I p p L e s , so said person then has to freaking walk around looking at all the Jessica’s b o o b s intently to make sure they get right one 😱🤬WHAT THE FRESH HELL kinda shite is that other than s e x u a L harassment, more so if it’s a bloke they tell ffs, I have larger ones, so I buy covers you can get , useful even in bras and with sundresses when a bra isn’t practical , so useful they are, n her hubby is a keeper isn’t he bless him x
I would probably do the same as OP, but during my exit interview I would say that I found a new job because of the secret nickname. It wouldn't do anything to help me but it might be enough to stop it happening to someone else.
I have a truly awful nickname given to me by my oldest friend over 40 yrs ago. he and his sons call me it to this day. I would be mad if someone else used it but from them I take it as a sign of love.
Too bad OP's work colleagues are stuck at the grade school mentality. Good for her for looking for a new job. On her last day, she could bring in a cake with 2 large you-knows + pepperoni you-knows!
Rather than a cake, I think two Hostess Snowballs (the pink ones) with a slice of pepperoni on each would get the message across. ☺️ Giving someone a nickname for a body function that happens all by itself randomly for no discernible reason tells me her coworkers have no imaginations. “Float Jessica” would seem to be the obvious nickname. I’m wondering whether the same idiots have a nickname for the guy who gets hardons for no discernible reason, too, or whether it’s just the b****y nurses with the juvenile nicknames.
Load More Replies...You get better bras, then go to your superviser, if not HR. "I tried to laugh it off the other day, because I was embarassed, but this nickname makes me very uncomfortable. It feels very inappropriate to have people call me such a sexualised nickname - particuarly when it's obviously a running joke being used behind my back. I don't want to have to go to HR, or to be b****y about it, but I think "Float Jessica, or Jessica W" would be more appropriate." If there wasn't an immediate "You're absolutely right and I'll take care of it." I'd continue with "Identifying me as "nipples" is s****l harassment, and creates a hostile work environment for me. I don't want to get anyone fired, or bring your leadership into question, but this is not okay. I need you to shut it down, and make it clear that using nicknames that are sexualising or derogatory is not acceptable, or I will have to escalate this to HR."
I have a sincere question: I worked with someone who had large breasts and very protruding nipples. I never said anything to her and certainly would never talk about her body or tolerate others talking about her body. But, they were extremely obvious and I know they was noticed by others. Was I right to not say anything to her because I didn't want to embarrass her or be creepy? Or should I have said something knowing that it was drawing attention from others? And if yes, what?
You were right not to say anything to her. I was on the receiving end of a quiet word about “the girls” some time after immigrating to North America. Told people were uncomfortable about my obvious attributes, could I do something about it? Here’s the thing, at the time I was 28DD on a 5’1”, slim frame. I asked the woman what exactly I was supposed to do about it? I avoided padded bras because they make my bréasts even bigger. I can’t help that my nıpples sometimes harden when I’m chilly, I just slip on a jacket or cardigan to warm up. I wore fitted button up shirts, sure, but we’re talking darts at the waist and chest area, not see-through, skin tight or low cut. Did she expect me to bind my chest &/or wear baggy shirts? After this increasingly sarcastic response, I ended up saying, “This sounds like their problem. If they aren’t professional enough to not gawp at my chest, they need sensitivity training and to grow the fück up”. So far as I’m concerned, that there is the answer. It’s unprofessional and adolescent behaviour to be so focused on a person’s séxual characteristics it makes you uncomfortable.
Load More Replies...Exactly this ,that idea of them having to look intently to check she’s the right one is just shocking
Load More Replies...People are sometimes clueless when it comes to hurting someone else's feelings. I doubt they meant it as offensive, even if that was how you felt. You SHOULD have gone to HR so they could include this type of thing in their s****l harassment training.
So women aren't even allowed to have nípples now? Men are allowed to walk around bare-chested on the beach or at the park, with their nípples on full display. But women have to wear extra thick bras so people can't notice they have nípples UNDER their clothes? Absolutely ridiculous. We're doing a real disservice to women in our society, if women have to wear uncomfortable things just to hide that they have nípples.
Anybody who creates or uses a sexualizing nickname for a colleague is advertising themselves as a bad colleague who should be avoided. Look what resulted here: OP felt humiliated, realized that there was no way HR could help her without exposing her further, and now she is looking for a new job (as if hospitals can stand to lose good, trained staff over bullying behavior like this). Anyone who heard someone using this nickname should have pulled that person aside and warned them that this is the behavior that drives away good colleagues. Don't be a bystander to bullying and harassment. And OP is well rid of that 'friend' who views her body as a tool for his personal amusement, too.
In this case, OP has done half of her best possible response by getting the padded bras for her own comfort. The second part is to go to tell HR about the nickname problem in terms of "its a non issue now, but it could go badly if the wrong person gets or hears a s****l nickname, so HR might want to get in front of it with a clarification of nickname policy that allows for easy ID between similar names without potential problems " it is a good bet HR doesn't know this time b**b exists and if they are at all decent, will appreciate the warning before it's a potential lawsuit.
Load More Replies...Sounds like a mafia moniker: give this job to Jessica Nipples, she'll take care of it.
It plays very differently if men are included in this humor. But it also plays differently when it's a secret; it's the difference between teasing and demeaning, between laughing with someone and ridiculing them.
Men or women it's s****l harassment. Seemingly she's changed her underwear because of this! Seriously in the 21st century we're still reducing women to their body parts. The internal misogyny displayed here. So inappropriate in the work place.
Load More Replies...HR found out some people referred to me as the bunny. They dragged me in and a few more to admonish them to make me feel better. They then asked if I wanted to say something. I pointed to my name tag and the shirt I was wearing. My shirt had a rabbit with a cup of coffee and my name tag had a sticker reading The Bunnyman. Said "I appreciate the gesture but The Bunny is my work nickname. So please get with me before making me feel bad for a nickname I like"
Did everyone clock this woman's husband buying her the perfect bra? A marriage can't be happier than that.
I did totally he’s awesome isn’t he defo a keeper x
Load More Replies...That’s an awful nickname like it for real means they will say ask Jessica with the n I p p L e s , so said person then has to freaking walk around looking at all the Jessica’s b o o b s intently to make sure they get right one 😱🤬WHAT THE FRESH HELL kinda shite is that other than s e x u a L harassment, more so if it’s a bloke they tell ffs, I have larger ones, so I buy covers you can get , useful even in bras and with sundresses when a bra isn’t practical , so useful they are, n her hubby is a keeper isn’t he bless him x
I would probably do the same as OP, but during my exit interview I would say that I found a new job because of the secret nickname. It wouldn't do anything to help me but it might be enough to stop it happening to someone else.
I have a truly awful nickname given to me by my oldest friend over 40 yrs ago. he and his sons call me it to this day. I would be mad if someone else used it but from them I take it as a sign of love.
Too bad OP's work colleagues are stuck at the grade school mentality. Good for her for looking for a new job. On her last day, she could bring in a cake with 2 large you-knows + pepperoni you-knows!
Rather than a cake, I think two Hostess Snowballs (the pink ones) with a slice of pepperoni on each would get the message across. ☺️ Giving someone a nickname for a body function that happens all by itself randomly for no discernible reason tells me her coworkers have no imaginations. “Float Jessica” would seem to be the obvious nickname. I’m wondering whether the same idiots have a nickname for the guy who gets hardons for no discernible reason, too, or whether it’s just the b****y nurses with the juvenile nicknames.
Load More Replies...You get better bras, then go to your superviser, if not HR. "I tried to laugh it off the other day, because I was embarassed, but this nickname makes me very uncomfortable. It feels very inappropriate to have people call me such a sexualised nickname - particuarly when it's obviously a running joke being used behind my back. I don't want to have to go to HR, or to be b****y about it, but I think "Float Jessica, or Jessica W" would be more appropriate." If there wasn't an immediate "You're absolutely right and I'll take care of it." I'd continue with "Identifying me as "nipples" is s****l harassment, and creates a hostile work environment for me. I don't want to get anyone fired, or bring your leadership into question, but this is not okay. I need you to shut it down, and make it clear that using nicknames that are sexualising or derogatory is not acceptable, or I will have to escalate this to HR."
I have a sincere question: I worked with someone who had large breasts and very protruding nipples. I never said anything to her and certainly would never talk about her body or tolerate others talking about her body. But, they were extremely obvious and I know they was noticed by others. Was I right to not say anything to her because I didn't want to embarrass her or be creepy? Or should I have said something knowing that it was drawing attention from others? And if yes, what?
You were right not to say anything to her. I was on the receiving end of a quiet word about “the girls” some time after immigrating to North America. Told people were uncomfortable about my obvious attributes, could I do something about it? Here’s the thing, at the time I was 28DD on a 5’1”, slim frame. I asked the woman what exactly I was supposed to do about it? I avoided padded bras because they make my bréasts even bigger. I can’t help that my nıpples sometimes harden when I’m chilly, I just slip on a jacket or cardigan to warm up. I wore fitted button up shirts, sure, but we’re talking darts at the waist and chest area, not see-through, skin tight or low cut. Did she expect me to bind my chest &/or wear baggy shirts? After this increasingly sarcastic response, I ended up saying, “This sounds like their problem. If they aren’t professional enough to not gawp at my chest, they need sensitivity training and to grow the fück up”. So far as I’m concerned, that there is the answer. It’s unprofessional and adolescent behaviour to be so focused on a person’s séxual characteristics it makes you uncomfortable.
Load More Replies...Exactly this ,that idea of them having to look intently to check she’s the right one is just shocking
Load More Replies...People are sometimes clueless when it comes to hurting someone else's feelings. I doubt they meant it as offensive, even if that was how you felt. You SHOULD have gone to HR so they could include this type of thing in their s****l harassment training.
So women aren't even allowed to have nípples now? Men are allowed to walk around bare-chested on the beach or at the park, with their nípples on full display. But women have to wear extra thick bras so people can't notice they have nípples UNDER their clothes? Absolutely ridiculous. We're doing a real disservice to women in our society, if women have to wear uncomfortable things just to hide that they have nípples.

















































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