Guest Thinks That Birthday Party Food Restrictions Aren’t For Her, Ends Up Disinvited By The Host

Based on my life experience, I’ve developed a rule for myself: if I’m planning to organize or host any family or friendly gathering and there are any crucial rules or requirements, I’d better remind everyone of them several times. Yes, there’s a risk of being called “petty,” but it’s better to do so than face problems later.

Well, the user u/throwaway-cupcakelad, the narrator of our story today, is just 17 years old and clearly hasn’t had time to gain much life experience, good or bad. So, when planning her birthday party, she only warned all guests once about not bringing any food containing nuts. As it turned out later, one warning was too little…

More info: Reddit

Sometimes life presents us with a dilemma between losing a friend or risking another person’s health, and it’s crucial to make the right choice

Two women decorating a birthday party banner, highlighting guestzilla ignoring food allergy restrictions set by host.

Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The author of the post is a teen getting ready for her 18th birthday party and inviting guests

Text post discussing disinviting a friend over ignoring food allergy restrictions set by party host.

Text message conversation about hosting an 18th birthday party with food and allergy considerations.

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Text excerpt discussing a guest ignoring food allergy restrictions set by a party host, leading to conflict.

Text message about party plans mentioning food allergy restrictions set by the host to ensure guest safety and comfort.

Text discussing a serious nut allergy and concerns about potential reactions at a party.

Text message warning about food allergy restrictions and preventing cross-contamination at a party event.

Young woman smiling while looking at phone indoors, illustrating guestzilla ignoring food allergy restrictions by party host.

Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The host offered BBQ and pizza, and told the guests they could also bring their own food, but no nuts were allowed because of one guest’s allergy

Text on a screen describing a conversation about a homemade cake containing nuts, highlighting food allergy restrictions.

Text conversation discussing guest ignoring food allergy restrictions by bringing cake with nuts to a party.

Guestzilla upset for ignoring food allergy restrictions by party host and facing disinvitation from the event.

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Text message conversation about a guest ignoring food allergy restrictions set by a party host and being disinvited.

Text about a guest ignoring food allergy restrictions set by party host, specifically about bringing items with nuts.

A slice of nut-topped cake on a plate illustrating food allergy restrictions ignored by guestzilla at a party.

Image credits: wahyu_t / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The author found out later that one guest baked a cake with nuts anyway, and she threw a fit after getting told it was disallowed

Text message about guest ignoring food allergy restrictions at a party, leading to conflict and being disinvited.

Text message conversation about a guest ignoring food allergy restrictions and being disinvited from a party.

Text excerpt about ignoring food allergy restrictions causing a party guest to be disinvited due to a nut allergy risk.

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Text describing a cake resembling a spongey treat cake, explaining it is not a traditional birthday cake with frosting.

Text explaining a guest ignoring food allergy restrictions set by a party host, leading to being disinvited.

Text excerpt about a guest ignoring food allergy restrictions set by party host, leading to conflict.

Person typing on a laptop, responding to comments about a post related to ignoring food allergy restrictions.

Text post discussing the seriousness of airborne food allergies and respecting allergy restrictions at parties.

Text post explaining disinviting a guest who ignored food allergy restrictions set by the party host.

Image credits: throwaway-cupcakelad

So the host ended up disinviting this friend, and her boyfriend as well, getting dubbed “entitled and unreasonable” by them

So, the Original Poster (OP) says she’s 17 years old now and planning her 18th birthday party. Nothing fancy, just a friendly gathering at home, BBQ and pizza, with guests also bringing their own food. Among the invited guests was “Emily,” the author’s close male friend’s girlfriend, and she volunteered to bake a cake.

However, our heroine had one important food-related restriction. One of the guests is allergic to nuts, so the birthday girl warned all guests in advance that nuts in any form were not allowed in the food they brought. The author added Emily to a general friends chat, and she, too, added a thumbs-up emoji to the message about the no-nuts rule.

And so, literally the day before the birthday, Emily sent the original poster a photo of the cake she baked – and it obviously contained nuts. The author clarified, and yes, Emily admitted that the cake had nuts. When our heroine said once more that nuts were not allowed, the guest assumed that the allergic person could simply not eat this cake at all.

The author declared that impossible, and Emily replied that then she wouldn’t show up. Well, the OP agreed that in that case, she was disinviting her. Some time later, Emily’s boyfriend called and bashed her for “being entitled and unreasonable.” And now our hero faces the prospect of losing two guests at once, and her friends and acquaintances are also very divided over this. So, the author took it online, seeking support.

Two women sitting on a couch having a serious conversation about food allergy restrictions at a party setting.

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

If you look at the experts’ opinions, there can be no dispute – the original poster did the right thing, as nut allergies can have very rapid consequences. In fact, nut allergies are considered one of the ten most widespread allergies in the United States, affecting roughly 0.5% to 1% of the country’s population, as this dedicated article states. So, risking a guest’s health is definitely not worth it.

Furthermore, studies show that the number of children and adults allergic to various nuts has been steadily increasing over the past decades. For example, this study by scientists at the University of Manchester shows an increase in the incidence of allergies from 5% to 7% among infants and 1% to 2% among adults. So, the problem of allergies will only become more pressing over time.

Furthermore, the possible consequences of contact with an allergen can include fairly rapid (sometimes within 5 minutes of exposure) anaphylactic shock. Thus, the original poster’s decision to prioritize the health of a guest over the potential loss of friendships seems difficult, but entirely justified.

In fact, people in the comments unanimously sided with the original poster, also recalling sad stories of losing their own friends and close ones over food allergies. So, according to the responders, this is absolutely not a case where one should give in to friends’ childish whims. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

Most commenters sided with the author, claiming that food allergy is actually a thing one shouldn’t mess with, so the host made the right choice here

Commenter shares losing a friend due to peanut allergy after ignoring host’s food allergy restrictions at party.

Conversation about guest ignoring food allergy rules at a party, causing conflict and disinvitation by host.

Text conversation showing guest ignoring food allergy restrictions set by host, leading to disinvitation from party event.

Alt text: Social media comment explaining a guest ignored food allergy restrictions, leading to being disinvited from a party.

Reddit comment explaining how a guest ignored food allergy restrictions set by party host causing safety concerns.

Guestzilla ignoring food allergy restrictions at party causes cross contamination and gets disinvited by host.

Comment explaining the importance of respecting food allergy restrictions set by party hosts to ensure guest safety.

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Comment from user appreciating allergy advocacy, mentioning child with tree nut allergies and dedication to food allergy restrictions.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment emphasizing the importance of respecting food allergy restrictions set by a party host.

Comment on a group chat discussing a guestzilla ignoring food allergy restrictions set by a party host and getting disinvited.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing ignoring food allergy restrictions set by a party host causing conflict.

Screenshot of a detailed online comment discussing food allergy restrictions and safety concerns at a party.

Comment explaining a guest ignored host’s food allergy restrictions at a party and was disinvited for not respecting nut allergy rules.

Comment discussing respect for food allergy restrictions and the consequences of ignoring party host's allergy rules.

Comment from greentreemoss supporting host avoiding a health emergency due to guest ignoring food allergy restrictions.

Screenshot of a forum comment explaining the importance of respecting food allergy restrictions at parties.

Screenshot of an online comment explaining a guest ignoring party host’s food allergy restrictions and being disinvited.

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