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“Heartbreak Made Me Do It”: 35 Deranged Shenanigans People Pulled Off Post-Breakup
Interview With Expert
My ex was on bad terms with his mom. After we broke up, I sent her an email detailing what a horrible human he was, giving her more cause to hate him. I know it was super petty, but I am no saint, and I was in pain.
Well, folks have been known to have done absolutely unhinged things after a breakup. When a netizen asked them to spill the tea, people didn’t hold back. From downright creepy to utterly hilarious, we have compiled the best tales just for you. Check them out below, so you know what I mean!
More info: Reddit
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#1
Pretended to be sympathetic when she had problems with her new bf. Even drove her to the station and helped her file charges for domestic violence. I spent a whole year acting friendly while keeping receipts.
Used it all against her in custody.
Edit: we divorced because she cheated. Then she went off the rails with d***s and partying. She was an unfit mother and I did what I had to do to prove it. It worked.
Call me Satan if you want. I won.
Edit 2: someone replied to me in this thread "found Satan". I dont feel bad for anything I did. It was way worse than the few things ive described here.
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#2
He always did this thing where he’d take the last granola bar and leave an empty box in the pantry.
So I emptied out every single thing in the pantry and fridge and left the empty containers… down to the spices and flour bags. Eat s**t, Brandon.
I also put glitter on his ceiling fans hahaha.
#3
I didn’t key his car or anything, but I did aggressively heal. I blocked him everywhere, went to the gym like it was my job, got bangs, started therapy, and became so mentally and physically stable that if he saw me now he’d probably think I was doing it out of spite.
From grief to rage or just disappointment, our minds can go through waves of emotions after a breakup. To understand how it really affects the human psyche, Bored Panda reached out to Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She explained that sometimes, it triggers a neurochemical withdrawal similar to quitting a substance.
"The brain's reward system, previously fueled by 'love chemicals' like dopamine and oxytocin, suddenly starves. This leads to obsessive 'looping' thoughts and an intense craving for the ex-partner. The brain processes social rejection in the same regions as physical pain. That's why emotional distress often manifests as actual physical symptoms, such as chest tightness or lethargy," she added.
#4
I threw our engagement ring into a canal, rather than, y’know, selling it and buying myself something nice.
Calane E. Vanya 38 minutes ago
Being in a financially fragile situation, I get annoyed when I read about people literally throwing money down the drain. It simply shows a lack of respect for the work it takes for most people to save up for things. On the one hand, I understand the emotional response of "I can't look at this thing!", on the other...
#6
Got drunk at a wedding in her town a few months later and woke up the next morning back in her bed.
While our expert believes that a breakup is a highly subjective experience, she stresses that it can cause fragmentation of self-identity. "In long-term relationships, identities often merge (the 'we' instead of 'I'). When the bond breaks, individuals often report feeling like they don't know who they are anymore," she noted.
Prof. Lobo elaborated that we build our future around our partners. According to her, a breakup forces the psyche to delete a planned future and rebuild a new narrative from scratch, which is cognitively exhausting. She claimed that the psyche generally moves through these phases: protest, despair, detachment, and reorganization.
#8
Not something I *did* per se, but something my body did to me. I was sick for like...6 months? A year? After my high school boyfriend dumped me.
My body reacted really physically to the stress. I would throw up after every meal. Not because I wanted to or because I was forcing myself to - I just couldn't hold anything down. I would eat lunch and just automatically hit the bathroom 10 minutes later and wait because I knew it was coming. That was such an awful time in my life. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
KatSaidThat 59 minutes ago
I randomly used to get ill around a guy I was dating (at least 10 years ago). There was no reason for it, I liked him. But my body wasn't having any of that. Was really strange and it still bugs me today. Why did I suddenly get vomitus around him?
#9
Not exactly unhinged but I was planning on treating him and his younger brother to the movies when he broke up with me by text.
I literally glazed the text and left my house and drove myself to the movies and saw the movie by myself. I then sat in the car and cried.
We also conversed with our expert about how people's reactions after a breakup range from taking revenge to self-destruction. She claimed that whether they lash out or turn inward is usually determined by their locus of control, attachment style, and personality traits.
"Those who seek revenge often view the breakup as an 'ego threat' or a personal injustice. By lashing out, they attempt to regain a sense of power and balance the scales of pain. This behavior is frequently linked to a need for dominance or an external locus of control. The individual believes that hurting the person who caused their misery will somehow alleviate their own suffering," Prof. Lobo expressed.
#10
I was sober, and started drinking. I drank everything in our house, then moved out and just drank.
it’s two years later, and I think it’s time to go sober again.
it’s been long enough.
#11
Ex wife cheated for 2 years with my best friend (married almost 30) and then started saying I should go and have 'experiences' myself trying to absolve herself. I dont think she thought I could pull as I'd never strayed or even expressed interest in anyone else during our entire marriage. So on our wedding anniversary (1.5 months after the affair came out) and sick of her almost goading me into sowing my own wild oats (thinking I had no game) I asked her if she was really sure this was what she wanted and she said yes and 'gave me a pass'.
The next night my friends were having a party and I made sure a woman from that group who I'd 'felt a mutual vibe with' (but never expressed or acted on cause I was married!) was going. My friends had told her that me and my wife had split and she said she was keen. She turned up and I had a wonderful time with her with lots of intimacy and affection along with the s*x. Second only woman I'd ever slept with.
Turned out my wife wasn't so immune to jealousy when I was out playing instead of her.
Note: random revenge s*x isn't the healthiest way of dealing with a cheating a partner but when you're reeling from the trauma of it... Well it's a thing.
Kate Johnson 34 minutes ago
Actually it's perfect. I'd have told her how much more attractive and what a better lover the gal I hooked up with was than her, before I left her for good!
In contrast to seeking revenge, some people get self-destructive by turning to alcohol, substances, or social withdrawal. Prof. Lobo emphasized that for these individuals, the breakup is viewed as a personal failure or a loss of their entire identity. She believes that instead of seeking power, they seek numbness.
"Alcohol or self-destructive behaviors act as chemical 'band-aids' to quiet the intense psychological pain. Ultimately, both paths are maladaptive coping mechanisms used to avoid the difficult, stagnant work of grieving. One uses fire to burn others, while the other uses it to burn themselves," she added.
#13
Went to Bakersfield, CA for a vacation lol
I just wanted to go somewhere there was no chance of me running into anyone I know, and just chill for a few days.
#14
I agreed to try to stay friends. F****n dumb as f**k and I'm miserable.
Norfolk and good 1 hour ago
Sometimes the best thing to do is to cut contact and move on. Trying to be friends with an ex can be a bad idea, especially if one person hasn't fully moved on from the relationship. Always be honest with yourself about what your motives are. Ask yourself how you'll feel when they start seeing someone else. If you're only being friends with an ex because you're holding out hope for a reconciliation, then that's probably not going to end well.
#15
Burned every bridge I had with family, friends, coworkers, etc. Afterward I packed my s**t, got in my truck, and just drove.
Psychologically speaking, Prof. Lobo narrated that closure is achieved when you stop treating the breakup as a problem to be solved. Rather, you start treating it as a story that has ended. "By granting yourself closure, you reclaim your personal narrative. This shift moves the ex-partner from the center of your mental world to a peripheral memory that no longer dictates your emotional stability," she concluded.
Well, I guess psychological closure is more important than taking revenge, crying over the ex, or acting self-destructively. With that in mind, you can still enjoy the rest of the unhinged stories. Also, if you have anything similar to share with us, feel free to do so in the comments below!
#16
Stole the left shoe of every pair of his shoes.
#18
I worked with him so I spit in his coffee every day for about year and a half, put nails under his tires and keyed his car on a regular. He cheated on me with an 18 year old, we were in our late 20’s.. To me it felt deserved at the time.
#19
Calculated how much money he spent on me and then payed him back exclusively in nickels.
Honestly it was hilarious and everyone (including him) found it as such.
#21
Once I found out my ex was cheating on me with with her married co-worker, I told her that if her new "boyfriend" didn't tell his pregnant wife that they'd been hooking up, that I would. She claimed he told her and I knew she was lying. I reached out to the wife, she had no idea, and immediately kicked her husband out of the house.
#22
Blacked out for two weeks, went to rehab, stayed sober, built a better life. I really didnt see that one coming. .
#23
Not unhinged, more cringy. You know the song heartbeat from childish gambino? I hang up the phone after a breakup with my last word "I wish we never f****d and I mean that" as a german speaker. It still shivers.
#24
Layed on my floor the entire day. She was my first ever love and our official breakup was her calling to me she had slept with someone else. After balling my eyes out for a very long time, I crawled into bed. Over the next few months I leaned ever more heavily into alcoholism until my life was completely destroyed.
#26
Almost drank myself to d***h. A GF and friend stabbed me in the back. My friend I ha known for 15 plus years and we started a two piece band together. I started seeing this lady and we were together for 6 years. I thought she was the one that I’d spend my life with. She ended up f*****g my friend/bandmate 2x. I was beyond devastated. All my definitions of love, trust, friends, relationships were shattered. So I move to Ohio from NC to start a new chapter. I had no support system and kept drinking. Always a cheerful drunk never mean or violent. I met a lady near Cleveland who was really into me. Wanted to marry, maybe a child, her family really loved me. But I was too wrapped up in my self loathing, self fulfilling drunken prophecies and ruined a truly great and wonderful love. We parted ways and moved back to NC over a year later, only to return to be diagnosed with stage 3 cirrhosis with ascites and walking that fine line of needing a liver transplant. Thankfully I recovered somewhat that no new liver was needed.
#27
Alcohol, long a*s handwritten letters, calling from other numbers after I’m blocked feels so creepy just writing this stuff lol.
#28
Not exactly a breakup, and not exactly immediately after. I lost my wife suddenly and without warning. A good friend of ours was very comforting (no not in that way) and within a couple months we were getting very close and eventually talked about marriage. As I slowly came to my senses I began to realize this was a terrible, horrible idea; she was not entirely emotionally stable, and though she loved my daughter, she disliked my son. I broke off our relationship. When she told me that I'd never find anyone else, all my feelings of guilt over the split were lifted, as I realized I'd made the right decision. About a year and a half later I met the right person.
#30
Took all his spoons and one leg to the couch. He cheated on me. It’s the least I could’ve done.
#31
My boyfriend at the time wanted to ‘see other people’. I slept with an ex soon after, partly to see if it would make him jealous. He took it as a cue to dump me for the girl he wanted to hook up with in the first place.
We were 23.
They had 4 kids eventually. .
#33
Lost over 100 pounds, quit drinking, quit smoking, quit doing d***s and got super into shape with the gym and running. Got mentally ahold of myself and learnt healthy coping mechanisms I still use to this day.
#34
I didnt do the most unhinged thing but it happened to me (not my reaction to it but the fact that she did it).
I am a very calm man who can regulate my emotions really well with breathing methods. I was 30M dating a 24F, after 6 months i broke it off cause of her immaturity, but i did it in a good way IMO. I wasnt mean to her i just said that it wont work out.
We had met at the workplace and a month after we met, i switched jobs, there was this russian guy that i would sometimes talk to there.
In her mind, she thought that he and i were best friends for some reason, i have no idea why. I hadnt spoken to him for 5 months after i quit the work.
When i broke up with her, she called me two weeks after to tell me that she had to admit that she made a mistake. They were at a afterparty with the workplace and they went to her place and had s*x.
She came to my place to tell me this in person and my reaction to it absolutely broke her. I couldnt of cared less.
I totally expected stuff like that from her which is why i broke up in the first place, she had suffered HUUGE trauma, she had been r***d by her father and other stuff, its not the reason why i broke it off, i knew about that from the start, she just couldnt regulate her emotions in any way shape or form and i did my best to try and make it out.
But when she told me she had slept with him and she saw that i was kinda shrugging like "Alright...?"
She started explaining why "Yeaah i dont know you know, we were drunk and i know you and him are like best friends"
And i interrupted her there "Hold on, what do you mean best friends? I barely know the guy, i havnt spoken to him for 5 months"
And thats when she broke, the shock on her face when she realised that she got f****d by a person she doesnt even like to try and get back at me and it backfired in the worst way possible, she was devastated. To the point where i had to console her lol, i couldnt believe that i was doing it considering what she had done and the fact that SHE believed we were best friends even if we werent. She was aiming to hurt me and i was actually trying to make her feel better.
After consoling her for a few minutes i told her straight up "This is on you, God punished you for doing this when i have been nothing but nice to you, i frankly dont care and you know it but the problem is that you were hoping that i would care and you wanted to hurt me for no reason at all. I personally wont forgive you because there is nothing to forgive, this action doesnt mean anything to me, you have to learn to forgive yourself because the only person you hurt here is you and these are the reason why we broke up".
Then i drove her home, gave her a hug and wished her nothing but the best.
Frankly its one of those moments where i am quite proud of myself and how i handled that situation and even more so how i could easily keep my emotions in check and not take this personally. Because at the end of the day, it was not about me, it was about her.
#35
Okay buckle in, this is gonna be a long one-
I flew to the new city he was living in, that I’d never previously been to. Showed up at his doorstep. 🤣 (he was working in this city with an old childhood friend who gave me his address lolol)
In my head and to my friends and family who knew our “story”, everyone was so supportive and “omg it’s like a lifetime movie! Go get your man!”
We had broken up the year before to “find ourselves”. And we both would reach out randomly through those years to catch up and we would mention how we hadn’t ever felt what we once had.. so when I decided to visit him, I had just accepted a job in another country and wanted to let him know I was still holding onto our love and the door would be open if he ever wanted to try again.. but I needed him to SEE me, not just keep hearing me say these things from thousands of miles away..
But when I stood at his front door I immediately felt regret. I wanted the earth to eat me up into the dirt and spit me back into my home. I felt like a psychotic ex girlfriend who found his address and stalked him??? I was too scared to even knock!!! Anyways, while im standing outside his door contemplating turning around, he was literally getting to the building, turning the corner, and boom he sees me. I’m standing in front of his door on the second floor of his apartment building. Utter shock on his face. My insides tightening with discomfort and regret, feeling shy and kind of crazy. After stopping in his tracks, he comes up the stairs. He immediately questioned how or why I ended up on his doorstep
I pathetically and embarrassingly answered “I had a layover..” 🥺. (neither of us were living in our hometown at the time and it was holiday season so it sounded plausible). he invited me in. And from one moment it was shock and numbness to seeing each other again after so long, to home, comfort and no loss of time.
We are married now. And he always tells me that me making that move was a huge step to bringing us where we are today. I got my happy ending. 🥹so kind of like real lifetime movie stuff hahaha. I don’t regret it. 🥹.
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