“Please Don’t Be That Wife”: Mom Doesn’t Want Husband Going On 3-Day Bachelor Party
Interview With ExpertYou and your partner are a team, so your leisure shouldn’t come at their expense and vice versa. However, a woman who goes by Foreverexhausted1 on Mumsnet told the platform’s members that she’s at a loss. On the one hand, she wants her husband to have fun with friends at the bachelor party they’ve been planning, but on the other, she isn’t a fan of the idea that she’ll be alone with the kids for three days. So, she asked others for help with her dilemma.
Raising children demands sacrifice, and this mom doesn’t like the fact that her husband wants to go away for three days
Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)
However, he believes she’s being unreasonable
Image credits: Foreverexhausted1
Image credits: nd3000/Envato (not the actual photo)
As her story went viral, the woman clarified a few things
Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum says parents need to look out for each other so that they don’t burn out
Image credits: Dreamy Fox Photography
“Three preschoolers are like 33 preschoolers, in all honesty, and I say that as a former teacher!” Vicki Broadbent told Bored Panda. The multi-award-winning TV broadcaster and woman behind the family blog Honest Mum is also raising a teen, a tween, and a toddler, and said, “Even with two parents, you’re outnumbered, let alone one!”
“My advice is not to abstain from weekends away solo but to arrange for additional childcare where possible,” said Broadbent, author of The Working Mom: Your Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and Home.
“That might be friends with similarly aged children or family members [willing] to help. I find having friends with their own kids over to our house is helpful as the children play with one another, relieving the pressure.”
“Failing that, arranging activities in advance can be helpful, as well as cooking ahead of time and freezing meals you can reheat.”
Image credits: George Dagerotip/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
To make sure that their needs are met and there’s no resentment accumulating in the background, couples can create a list of childcare and household tasks and come back to it whenever they need assurance that they’re comfortable with the responsibilities they each have so that both can avoid feeling weary and isolated.
“For partners who are leaving the other, try and help with as much as possible, cooking food in advance, cleaning the house before you leave, relieving as much stress as possible,” Broadbent said. “Then, clean and cook again, pulling your weight on your return.”
Some surveys suggest that parents have just 32 minutes to themselves every day, and with free time hard to come by, they take to hiding from their children four times a week to carve out space.
It’s not unreasonable to assume that the author of the post is already spreading herself thin. While the extra few days don’t sound like much in a vacuum, factor in the backlog she might be having, and they can become the difference between functioning and breaking down. The good thing is that she and her husband are still talking. Hopefully, they will find a solution that suits both of them.
But the majority of those who read the woman’s story believe she should let her husband go on the trip
Some, however, think the man is being selfish
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Good god. If my husband had gone away with his mates for the weekend while I was pregnant and in hospital, I would have left him. If he does not provide physical and emotional support and I can't trust him to be there when I truly need him, what the fukcing point is there in being married at all. You are better off as a single mum - one less man child to look after. And at least that way, you get a break when he has the kids.
Honestly, I feel like the responses here are from the Upside down. FFS, what is wrong with you people? You are all trolls. op, go away for at least a week (not sure where you are at with breast feeding). However, the moment you are able to get away for more than that, GO. Honestly, your husband sounds like a massive w****r. Our twins are now 17 and there is No Way in Hell that my husband would have left me with two babies, let alone three!! FFS.
How is it the husband's fault when OP never actually lets him take care of the kids? According to OP her husband has told her she could have time off but OP thinks he's not qualified. How will they ever find out if they never try it?
Load More Replies...My husband's FIL had a stroke, he lives in another country. Husband went for 2 weeks, but had to stay for 9 weeks. Things happen, if she can't cope for 3 days, with notice I'm a bit shocked. She has time to plan, call in for help, organise play dates, cook ahead (he can help). The number of times he goes away, and the timing when she was pregnant is more than questionable and a whole different matter.
Him going to the stag is one thing, but why TF has OP not left him or forced him to therapy after he left her alone in the hospital for 3days!? That's not something you do. Even if you're not married and you live together you go to the fkn hospital wtf
Ps- Am HORRIFIED BY THE RESPONSES! You people are Massive Misogynistic Trolls.
Or maybe you overreact? I have a kid with my partner and in the seven years they have been alive I've probably been away a maximum of 2 weeks overall. My partner has been on multiple trips, over one lockdown she was stuck abroad for 6 weeks whilst I had the then 3-year old and was looking for work. Heck, my partner has just come back from being 11 days aways and I don't criticise or think anything bad about her
Load More Replies...She needs to plan her weekend break BEFORE his stag party. That's the only way she'll get one.
I'll bet she told him it was ok for him to go away while it was in the hospital and now blames him for it.
If you have to even ask such a thing when your wife is in the hospital pregnant, you're a s****y partner and deserve neither wife, nor kid. Why some women have kids with....such man children is beyond me.
Load More Replies...Get a life lady ! I’m a lone mum now I’m 60 kids are 24-21 this yr been divorced 13 years ! N in that entire time I didn’t have ANYONE at all ,so been with em 24/ 365 n its lush lol ex left the county to be with his affair s k a n k ! N I pre that when they were young often had them on my own for weeks while he was working away plus his other two kids from his previous marriage , it’s a few bloody days omg mother up lady !!
If she’s a full time parent, it sounds like she only gets any time to herself maybe at the end of the day. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume she may not have as much of an active social life as her husband and would hard pressed to carve out that kind of time for herself. And, honestly, if he wasn’t willing to postpone or cancel a trip with friends while she was hospitalized due to a pregnancy, I doubt his offer to help was sincere. It sounds like he made the offer knowing full well she wouldn’t be able to really take him up on it. And a married man extending a 1 night stag party to 3 days just sounds like trouble. It’s not like they’re going camping. There’s going to be a lot of drinking, maybe dr-gs and maybe str!ppers. And he probably will barely spare a thought to his king-suffering wife at the end of her rope at home. If she takes even a night off, I’m sure she’d spend the entire time thinking about her kids and maybe her husband
Good god. If my husband had gone away with his mates for the weekend while I was pregnant and in hospital, I would have left him. If he does not provide physical and emotional support and I can't trust him to be there when I truly need him, what the fukcing point is there in being married at all. You are better off as a single mum - one less man child to look after. And at least that way, you get a break when he has the kids.
Honestly, I feel like the responses here are from the Upside down. FFS, what is wrong with you people? You are all trolls. op, go away for at least a week (not sure where you are at with breast feeding). However, the moment you are able to get away for more than that, GO. Honestly, your husband sounds like a massive w****r. Our twins are now 17 and there is No Way in Hell that my husband would have left me with two babies, let alone three!! FFS.
How is it the husband's fault when OP never actually lets him take care of the kids? According to OP her husband has told her she could have time off but OP thinks he's not qualified. How will they ever find out if they never try it?
Load More Replies...My husband's FIL had a stroke, he lives in another country. Husband went for 2 weeks, but had to stay for 9 weeks. Things happen, if she can't cope for 3 days, with notice I'm a bit shocked. She has time to plan, call in for help, organise play dates, cook ahead (he can help). The number of times he goes away, and the timing when she was pregnant is more than questionable and a whole different matter.
Him going to the stag is one thing, but why TF has OP not left him or forced him to therapy after he left her alone in the hospital for 3days!? That's not something you do. Even if you're not married and you live together you go to the fkn hospital wtf
Ps- Am HORRIFIED BY THE RESPONSES! You people are Massive Misogynistic Trolls.
Or maybe you overreact? I have a kid with my partner and in the seven years they have been alive I've probably been away a maximum of 2 weeks overall. My partner has been on multiple trips, over one lockdown she was stuck abroad for 6 weeks whilst I had the then 3-year old and was looking for work. Heck, my partner has just come back from being 11 days aways and I don't criticise or think anything bad about her
Load More Replies...She needs to plan her weekend break BEFORE his stag party. That's the only way she'll get one.
I'll bet she told him it was ok for him to go away while it was in the hospital and now blames him for it.
If you have to even ask such a thing when your wife is in the hospital pregnant, you're a s****y partner and deserve neither wife, nor kid. Why some women have kids with....such man children is beyond me.
Load More Replies...Get a life lady ! I’m a lone mum now I’m 60 kids are 24-21 this yr been divorced 13 years ! N in that entire time I didn’t have ANYONE at all ,so been with em 24/ 365 n its lush lol ex left the county to be with his affair s k a n k ! N I pre that when they were young often had them on my own for weeks while he was working away plus his other two kids from his previous marriage , it’s a few bloody days omg mother up lady !!
If she’s a full time parent, it sounds like she only gets any time to herself maybe at the end of the day. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume she may not have as much of an active social life as her husband and would hard pressed to carve out that kind of time for herself. And, honestly, if he wasn’t willing to postpone or cancel a trip with friends while she was hospitalized due to a pregnancy, I doubt his offer to help was sincere. It sounds like he made the offer knowing full well she wouldn’t be able to really take him up on it. And a married man extending a 1 night stag party to 3 days just sounds like trouble. It’s not like they’re going camping. There’s going to be a lot of drinking, maybe dr-gs and maybe str!ppers. And he probably will barely spare a thought to his king-suffering wife at the end of her rope at home. If she takes even a night off, I’m sure she’d spend the entire time thinking about her kids and maybe her husband





























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