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We all know, rationally, that if a fly landed in our soup, the actual surface area it touched would be very small. At the same time, most of us also would probably prefer to not eat that particular bowl. As it turns out, this same principle is just as true when it comes to dating.
So we gathered the most interesting responses to a thread posted on BoredPandaHQ, asking netizens to weigh in on what causes women to rapidly lose interest in a man. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to head on over to the BP community and follow the page for more interesting threads and memes.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
For me, it's lying. Lie to me once, I will lose all respect for you.
loco_mixer:
No human in the history of the planet tells the whole truth all the time.
Mynameismommy:
True but there’s a huge difference between lying to save someone’s feelings when knowing the truth would do no good (in my opinion the only justifiable time), and just lying to get what you want or because it’s “easier”.
RELATED:
#2
Inability to communicate. Counter accusing instead of taking accountability for their actions.
Defiant_Industry1155:
Counter accusing is the actual worst.
OP:
Absolutely! 💯 It can be so shocking and confusing until you realize what they're actually trying to do. Toxic.
Sue Denham 16 hours ago
Absolutely. And the person who can say "Yes, I did do that and I apologise for it," gets extra respect from me.
Ever wonder why a guy can go from prince charming to total cringe in the blink of an eye? That sudden stomach flip of revulsion is what the internet affectionately calls the ick. We posed this question to the good folks at Bored Panda HQ and gathered their thoughts. While it might seem harsh to dump someone because they ran for the bus with a backpack on or used a straw too enthusiastically it is a genuine psychological phenomenon.
According to experts at VeryWellMind, the ick develops when we’re suddenly repulsed by a specific, often “small” action. It often pops up during the early dating stages when you are still building an image of who someone is.
#4
So many things…. if i had to pick one thing i’d say it’s when a man makes a rude “joke” about me and i get upset and then he acts like i’m too sensitive for not enjoying being insulted.
DearTumbleweed5380:
For me, when I turned it back around on him and woah - the sulking! The hurt feelings and the poor little me act. Don't give it out if you can't take it.
#5
I don’t like when they don’t have empathy for others especially empathy for children, animals and the elderly. I also don’t like mansplaining my profession to me when they know nothing of it.
#6
Lack of passion, stupidity, arrogance and a big ego. To name a few… oh and if he says he's an alpha male…🙄.
The concept gained massive popularity through reality shows like Love Island where contestants would suddenly find themselves repulsed by a partner for the smallest reasons. While some people argue it is just a shallow excuse to end things others believe it is our intuition signaling a deeper lack of compatibility.
#7
Possessiveness and jealousy. It's not a compliment.
One-Load-6085:
The whole romance novel genre women love would beg to disagree...
Anon:
If you fear abandonment, seek therapy. Don’t make it your partner’s problem. They shouldn’t have to sacrifice their family & friends just b/c they have you.
#8
I lose interest when a man shows me he doesn't know how to listen. I'm not talking about deep conversations, I'm talking about simple details, like if I tell him something important and he doesn't even remember it, if everything revolves around him, or if he seems present but isn't really there.
dankeykang4200:
So ADHD is pretty much a deal breaker for you? It's fine if it is. Women born in December are a deal breaker for me. It's not because anything dumb like astrology. It's because my mother, my sister, my son, and Jesus all have birthdays in December. I can't afford another December birthday in my life.
#9
Eat with your mouth open. 🤮.
chouxphetiche:
And lick every finger with a loud smacking sound.
Your brain might be picking up on subtle social cues or hygiene habits that do not align with your long term needs. In the responses you see here many women describe that precise second where the rose colored glasses shattered. Maybe he did a weird little dance or he was way too intense about a hobby that just did not click.
#10
If he/she is an unwarranted ahole to waiters, or people on the phone who's job it is to help you and likely already deal with aholes all day.
Instant turn off.
Spock_s_wife1984:
That is so cringe. I also hate when people I’m with are jerks to servers, cashiers, retail workers or anyone in the service industry.
Fire Singer 41 minutes ago
I call them out now. I don't have the patience to listen to the people I'm with (primarily a problem for my grandpa who I refuse to go to restaurants with alone anymore) be rude to wait staff or anyone else.
#11
Constantly talking over me and not letting me get a word in. Making excuses.
Crystalwitch60 8 hours ago
👍that’s lack of respect totally and comes with the doors >>>>>>>that way use it !
#12
Narcissistic behaviors and alcoholism.
Shark Lady 14 hours ago
I lived with an alcoholic for six years, I don't recommend it. You can't change their behaviour until they want to get sober.
Psychologists often suggest that the ick acts as a defense mechanism to protect us from investing in the wrong person. We often want our partners to be “good,” so we overlook warning signs. This way, our brains can give us a reality check. It is almost like your subconscious mind is performing a quick audit and deciding that the physical or social chemistry just is not there.
Once you catch the ick it is notoriously difficult to shake off because it affects your base level of attraction. It turns charming quirks into irritating flaws that you just cannot unsee. While some minor icks can be managed through open communication many people find that the feeling is a point of no return. It serves as a reminder that dating is often as much about what we cannot tolerate as it is about what we love. So if you find yourself suddenly turned off by the way he holds a sandwich just know that you are definitely not alone in that experience. We’ve put together a community on Reddit for Pandas to share their thoughts on questions like in this post and to share memes and interesting facts, so head on over there for more.
#16
Finding out he values his mommy's opinion more than the opinion of his significant other.
Anon:
Pretty deluded to think a guy would automatically value your opinion higher than the womam who created and loved him unconditionally for 30 years; you seem to have a scarcity mindset.
#17
Being a man boy. Having to be told what to do. Propping them up: ie having to make their Dr. appts. travel plans, grocery shopping etc.
Not being a helpful partner. Playing video games instead of helping with kids & chores.
anon:
It's gonna be weird when you have kids with a Man and then it turns out he plays video games instead of helping with kids
Crystalwitch60 8 hours ago
Is this anon a freaking incel troll ? Cos he’s proving the points perfectly every one !
#19
When a man feels he "trapped" me, then stops working, stops taking care of himself, turns into a sorry little man-child. Then acts all offended when I either walk with nobody's help, or find someone better. No honey, you brought it all on yourself. Leave my name out of your mouth 😂.
#20
Perpetual victimhood.
zububonsai 14 hours ago (edited)
"Boohoohoo, all my coworkers are bad...and my neighbours.... and politicians all want my worst... the immigrants are stealing my job..." Yep. Find the common denominator.
#21
Being a hypocrite, exploitative and controlling. I was v close with a guy and then he hit the trifecta in one giant meltdown, which went over a few days. Suddenly saw him in a completely different light and never felt the slightest physical attraction again, and only felt revulsion. It also made me re-evaluate our past and pretty much everything he'd ever said or told me in a *very* unflattering light.
#22
Feeling taken for granted, lack of respect, lack of support.
BlazingJav:
Feeling taken for granted can be confused for a man feeling safe and secured with her partner.
Anon:
What? So men taking women for granted? Just means they feel safe ? That’s a new one, cool!
#23
Bad breath. Or a particularly bad kisser.
Spock_s_wife1984:
If he has bad breath, he’s a bad kisser by default.
#26
The toilet seat. It’s usually the toilet seat.
EmpiresofNod:
I was married at 16 and one day my wife fell into the toilet because I left the toilet seat up and I heard it. I never left the toilet seat up again. Even now after all these years when my nephew uses the toilet, I tell him to stop using my bathroom. He then asks "How do you know I used it?" I respond with "becasue you left the seat up. Do you have no respect for the ladies in the house?"
Shark Lady 14 hours ago
Ttirreg: some people go to the bathroom at night without turning on a light so as not to wake up others in the house, or so you don't get that horrible blinded feeling. Everyone should be putting the lid down before you flush so you don't end up with p**p/urine particles flying around your toothbrush.
#27
- comparing me to his mom
- being rude
- Lying.
#28
For me, ego disgusts me, bad moral compass, rudeness… and sometimes just being too “into me” is a turn off. Honestly, anything! I’m a “vibe” person, always tuning into my gut feelings about the situation. It’s just the way the Weinstein wobbles.
Ok_Departure504:
You seem like the kind of person that would create a very toxic relationship.
#29
When I’m not feeling like I’m wanted and special. We don’t want to tell us, we want to feel it all around us.
#30
When he values his masculinity more than me.
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
The problem is with him seeing any sort of conflict between the two in the first place.
#31
If he tries to play that push and pull game — trying to get you to chase him for basic conversation. Childish. Blocked.
#32
One nasty joke at my expense. Anything in the ballpark of gaslighting. Hit me once in anger.
Welcome to my past. No you do not get another chance.
InternationalBet2832:
Women pick fights because they want to be reassured their man is strong enough to fight off enemies. This is a big red flag for a man. If a woman knows she'll be thrown out if she fails to control herself, he'll control herself. Otherwise she'll scream her head off.
Bewitched One 15 hours ago
w*f is that reply? So, basically, you think it’s okay to hit a woman? There are shorter ways of saying it bud
#33
Shallow conversation.
Grape Walls of Ire 15 hours ago
Geez, you generally can't be deep and philosophical when you're trying to write up a grocery list.
#34
Too complicated of a lifestyle: constant travel, weird work schedule, pets, workaholism, family enmeshment, a stressful job, restlessness, weekends away, poor eating and the inevitable health conditions, dreams of owning livestock. At that point it doesn’t matter if they’re fiscally stable or honest, a net negative.
#35
He consistently takes more than 12 hours to message me back. Total turn off.
KatSaidThat 9 hours ago
Circumstantial. What if you are texting him at 6pm when he just went on shift and is not allowed to play on the phone? You need to have a conversation about it. If it still happens, then yes, sack him off.
#36
Shaking her hand when he’s trying to hit on her.
I was at a beer garden and some dude was hitting on me and straight up offered me a handshake. I was all, “Ok. No thanks!”
Imaginary-Carpenter4:
A handshake is such a traditional, normal interaction, which you have every right to refuse of course, but there is nothing weird about it in my opinion.
#37
Discovering he is a visual polygamist.
What do you think ?
Ace 15 hours ago
Pretty much the same old, same old, but why has BP decided to claim credit with the "Bored Panda Community"headline when it's yet another list copied straight from Reddit?
Kiki Likes Sweets 15 hours ago (edited)
Yeah,thought that too as I've never seen any of the user names before, but clicked on Bored Panda HQ and found that its the Bored Panda reddit page, and its all from there. They're now the real community, apparently, and we're just the BP plebs.🤔
Load More Replies...
Must Be Bored Again 15 hours ago
Breaking trust. Doesn’t have to be an affair. Secret spending, hiding money, eBay a****t, actually set up secret PO Box to send and receive items. We were married, not dating! Nothing weird, just collectables or things that interest him. Why hide it?
Ace 15 hours ago
Pretty much the same old, same old, but why has BP decided to claim credit with the "Bored Panda Community"headline when it's yet another list copied straight from Reddit?
Kiki Likes Sweets 15 hours ago (edited)
Yeah,thought that too as I've never seen any of the user names before, but clicked on Bored Panda HQ and found that its the Bored Panda reddit page, and its all from there. They're now the real community, apparently, and we're just the BP plebs.🤔
Load More Replies... Must Be Bored Again 15 hours ago
Breaking trust. Doesn’t have to be an affair. Secret spending, hiding money, eBay a****t, actually set up secret PO Box to send and receive items. We were married, not dating! Nothing weird, just collectables or things that interest him. Why hide it?
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