Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
“What’s Something People Love To Romanticize Until They Have To Live With It Every Day?” (48 Answers)
Over-the-top hype is a dangerous thing. On the one hand, it can seriously motivate you to aim for a specific goal. On the other hand, it creates a warped illusion, and reality will never measure up to your sky-high expectations. And you’ll just stand there, shocked and devastated.
Internet users spilled the tea about all the things, lifestyles, and professions that society and people love to romanticize, but they regret them the moment they actually get what they want. We have collected their most eye-opening posts, and they’re a gentle reminder to rethink some of your dreams. Be careful what you wish for.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
“I wish I could stay at home all day and have nothing to do”. Chronic illness has forced me into this life. On the surface, it looks great because I do a lot of knitting and crochet, watch a lot of TV, don’t have a particular time I need to get out of bed etc. It’s not romantic. It’s soul destroying. I WANT to be productive and keep up with everyone and WORK, but my body won’t let me.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 month ago (edited)
I want this. I want to feel useful and needed and know that at the end of the day, I’ve given my best effort to a job I believe in( before disability I was in that dream job, would never get rich there but I believed in the goal). Instead I fight the feelings of being a burden and wanting to end it all before the day comes where my adult children will have to make decisions for me.
RELATED:
#2
1800’s/Medieval times.
I have family that wishes we could go back in time when things were “simpler”.
Like girl. No thanks. I like being able to tell men to stfu, not being a baby making machine, having my own checking account, air conditioning, electricity, driving a car, flying, movies/games, equality (not perfect yet but wayyyy better than those times), and getting an education.
And all the handy appliances/tools? Folks are clueless on how difficult those times were and they were only a little better for the rich/high class.
Tobias Reaper 1 month ago (edited)
oh yeah great you get a splinter you're d**d get a cut on you arm you're d**d and even if you are super careful 2 words bubonic plague
#3
Working the night shift. People love to romanticize it as being peaceful, quiet, and perfect for introverts who hate crowds. But after a few months, your entire social life is completely out the window because you're sleeping when everyone else is awake. You constantly feel like you're running on empty, you develop weird vitamin deficiencies, and trying to get anything done on a normal daytime schedule becomes a massive, stressful chore.
Kelly Scott 1 month ago
I don't know. I enjoyed my night shifts. 11pm to 7am, home by 8am, slept till 4pm and plenty of time to do other things before leaving for work at 10.
The main issue with hype and romanticizing things is that you create a vast gap between how the world actually works and how you expect it to work. The bigger the gap, the larger the shock you experience when you finally realize the difference between your expectations and reality. And we don’t know about you, but for us, this can be quite demotivating and paralyzing. If you’ve been chasing some sort of goal. dream, or career for months and years, only to later realize it is nothing like you imagined, it can lead to an identity crisis. Suddenly, you’re left questioning what else you might have gotten so wrong.
According to Manhattan-based psychodynamic psychiatrist Ahron Friedberg, M.D., it is important not to be overly romantic when choosing or changing your career. Doing purposeful and meaningful tasks is a significant factor in your work, however, at the same time, you need to focus on practical things like financial security, too. Meanwhile, do your due diligence and properly research any profession before committing to it.
#4
Living on a tropical island. Great for vacation, not so great when you realize how much of the things you use everyday are imported by sea ($$$) including gas (and forget next day deliveriesfrom Amazon), hurricanes/typhoons are a way of life and you can't just evacuate inland, small population means fewer experts in everything from Healthcare to water treatment operations.
Vexed Panda 1 month ago
Omg. When i was stationed in Hawaii, the cost of milk was crazy. See a lot of cows in Hawaii ?
#5
PTSD. It's not an excuse to get out of things. It's a prison you will never fully escape from.
Friedberg suggests asking yourself these things before you think about a career change: “What is my ulterior motive? Are my aspirations based in reality? Is my new career supposed to fill gaps in my life that, in the clear light of day, would seem way too cavernous for any career to fill?”
He emphasizes that our judgment gets clouded when we’re feeling particularly desperate or lonely. “We are willing to take risks that we convince ourselves are not risks at all. So, we should ask ourselves: If the purpose of taking this leap fails, will there be enough left in the place where I land to have made the effort worthwhile? If the answer is No, if we invested all our emotional capital in a potential mirage, then it’s probably wise not to take the leap at all.”
#7
Being a forensic scientist.
I’m one, do DNA. It’s not like CSI. It’s a heavy job, you deal with the worst day of everyone’s lives every day. You realize how evil people can be, especially parents. We have vicarious trauma training and mental health is a hot topic.
But it is neat.
#8
Having a chronic illness. People love to self diagnose with all kinds of stuff, put it in their bios, be the centre of attention. I was diagnosed with a lifelong incurable chronic illness when I was 10 and I feel like a perpetual burden on those who love me and the illness needs constant monitoring and it interferes with every moment of the day. I cannot fathom those who want to cosplay that. Weirdos.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 month ago
It really sux because your illness basically becomes your personality because you can’t get proper diagnosis for anything, including things not related to the chronic illness and then you have to fight to get diagnosed so you can fight to get treatment and try to fight to live like a normal for as long as you can.
In the meantime, in a witty piece for The Guardian, Eva Wiseman notes that the issue with romanticizing your life and elevating small moments is that, despite their initial appeal, you start giving too much weight to truly mundane things.
You are, essentially, turning banal and routine things into something that ‘must’ have a narrative arc and main character energy. In other words, when every moment is special and important, nothing is.
“We first clung on to mundanity, the small delights of day-to-day life, as an escape. But soon, I fear, we started elevating these moments and placing importance on them so they had slightly too much weight to bear, narrating short videos of pasta as if documentary footage. These romanticised scenes became not just banal (if sometimes beautiful) moments in a day, but an entire lifestyle. Teethbrushing as narrative arc. Aspirational water bottle-filling at the sink.”
#10
"You have AuDHD?? Omg, bet you're quirky but organized as hell!!11!1!!!"
IT SUCKS. IT SUCKS SO BAD. I'VE BEEN MASKING MY ENTIRE LIFE AND GETTING BY AND NOW BURNOUT OF EVERYTHING HAS HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK. I HATE LOUD NOISES. I HATE LISTENING TO PEOPLE MAKE NOISE. I'M AWKWARD AS HELL. I HATE HOW MY LIFE IS DISORGANIZED ORGANIZED. I HATE THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME THAT COMES WITH IT. MY HYPERFIXATIONS MAKE ME LOSE SLEEP AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY. BEING ON THE SPECTRUM IS NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS!!!!!
#11
A guy being persistent in a romcom is somehow cute but in real life they’d be super creepy and I’d be terrified they’d try something if I didn’t agree.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 month ago
If a man can't take a simple NO for an answer, run and never look back.
#12
Owning horses. Yes you can ride off into the sunset hair flowing in the wind. But there are also 2 AM emergencies, expensive vet bills, can't spontaneously go out of town because you need to find someone trustworthy to take care of them in advance. Hay shortages which results in insane hay prices. The list goes on. Still love them though.
Northlander72 1 month ago (edited)
Horses too, definitely, but this goes for pretty much any animal you choose to buy or adopt. You are now responsible for a life, and you have to adjust accordingly.
Personally, what do you think are the most overhyped and overly romanticized things that people later regret wishing for? Right now, what do you dream of getting or achieving?
What do people romanticize about your profession or lifestyle that doesn’t quite match up to the daily reality? For example, working as a writer certainly matches some of the hyped-up expectations you might have (we survive on endless cups of coffee, do what we love every day, and we’re too smart for our own good) but falls short elsewhere (unfortunately, burnout is far too common, and we didn’t write this on a typewriter with balled-up paper drafts littering the floor).
Grab a drink or a snack and join the conversation in the comments!
#13
Living off grid in Alaska in the winter time.
#14
Being your own boss/ owning a business.
sala:
I’m convinced that for a lot of businesses that don’t make it, its not because they go brankrupt, its because the owner was not prepared for the level of responsibility, working 70hrs a week and sacrificing almost everything else in their life.
sturmwesen 1 month ago
In Germany it's called "selbstständig" which translates to something like "independent", but if you pull it apart to selbst and ständig you can read it as "themselves (working) constantly"
#15
Managing People. I feel like a lot of people want to be THE boss and be in charge. I think being responsible for and directing people sucks. Just my experience.
Coomstress:
Middle management is tough. Keeping all your direct reports happy while answering to executives who don’t know and don’t care what’s happening on the front lines.
#16
Lol.. kid(s). I love my kids but sometimes I go use the bathroom for no reason... lol.
keyboardtek 1 month ago
When we were considering adoption, my friend who had a kid cautioned me that having a kid is the hardest thing anyone can do. And in the first years it is 24/7. Even when you drop them off at the daycare, you find yourself at work worrying about them.
#17
Owning a large home.
It's nice to experience for a bit, but I'm happier with a modest one.
#18
“Cool parents”
Yeah, my dad was a hippie and my mom loved Wicca. My mom also befriended an arsonist because his “soul was pure” so like….idk.
Breadcrumb. 1 month ago
My friends hippie parents didn't believe in hospitals. She has a broken arm for three days before they sought help.
#19
Living in NYC.
lunarlandscapes:
I think a lot of people romanticize cities they've never lived in. Its super easy to think about how romantic and beautiful life could be living in Paris, or NYC, or the New Zealand countryside, but then once you move there and the novelty wears off, you realize you still are living the same life, just in a new city. You still have the same problems and issues you've always had. I took a cultural psychology class during my undergrad and we studied this, its super common in immigrants to have a low period a few months after immigrating because of this
Dorothy Reiser 1 month ago
I live in a suburb of NYC. I rarely go to the city because it's stressful.
#20
Living with a very good musician.
It's not music, it's unrelated loud noises that wear on your nerves all day every day.
#22
"I can fix him". It's all movie magic. It does. Not. Work. Can't recommend.
#23
Being an archaeologist. Dusty af, very early mornings, super hard on your back, out in all conditions, often find nothing. I don’t know a single archaeologist over 35 without a chronic back/knee/hip problem. Still love it though.
#24
Farm life.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 month ago
Even being a sahm in farm life is a huge job. Your days start early and don’t end until well past nightfall. I used to know quite a number of farmers and their families and to say I’m thankful is an understatement. Thankful there are people willing and able to do the job. And thankful I never married into the farm life because I know I would not be able to pull those hours.
#25
Vanlife.
cecilia kilian 1 month ago
I was waiting for this one to come up. Same for living on a boat, it is not for everyone.
#26
Living in an old-timey way by getting water from your own well. I used to live in Yemen and had to carry all my drinking water to my flat. It was awful. And there are kids (like 6-10 yr olds) who spend 4 hours a day just getting the family’s daily water.
Dorothy Reiser 1 month ago
I grew up when my grandparents didn't have running water but a well in their backyard. Ice cold to brush your teeth with. Outdoor bath hut heated by burning wood underneath. Post war Japan.
#27
Moving to a new country with a different culture / language.
It gets old when you can’t talk to your doctor in a medical emergency.
And it gets lonely if you struggle to make friends in the new culture.
Dorothy Reiser 1 month ago
Even when you know the language. I was an American who finally to live in the US when I started college. It's a completely different culture and the first year you keep figuring out the exchange rate of their currency.
#29
Rags to riches stories. In reality there are years of suffering that rarely get seen.
#32
Having a hysterectomy ‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have periods and cramps anymore- I wish my doctor would approve me for one’ thanks Karen I didn’t have a choice because I had early stage endometrial cancer. The recovery sucked, balancing hormones after going through menopause overnight is awful and I feel like I’ve aged 10 yrs and gained 15 lbs in the past 8 months but yeah it’s great not to have to buy tampons anymore 🙃.
BarfyCat 1 month ago
I'm going to go ahead and disagree with this one. Having a hysterectomy was the best thing that ever happened to me! I had endometriosis, polyps, adenomyosis and fibroids. My ibuprofen budget is now $0. My feminine hygeine budget is now $0. My vacations don't get ruined. Important life milestones and events don't get ruined. I cannot recommend it enough!
#33
Being with someone just solely on the basis of love. I personally don’t think love is ever enough.
#34
Getting a dog.
Prinnykin:
It’s hard work! It’s like having a toddler for 15 years.
#35
Tiny homes. While the idea of downsizing can be enticing, it would get old fast.
#36
Some people said off-grid/homesteading. But I moved back to the city after doing that for a while and I still can't sleep right here. Too loud too much light pollution and I'm really tired of homeless people begging me for money everywhere I go. I miss the quiet.
#37
Being the girlfriend or wife of a very successful man… doesn’t help if he’s extremely attractive to women.
There’s a reason I never wanted to be famous. I didn’t want to have to be “on” at all times.
My partner wasn’t famous, but he was a mover and shaker in our city, and it was a lot.
#38
Having an obsessive partner.
#39
Anorexia. Yes, you might be thin and fit as hell - as other people perceive it. But you can feel your body fading away. It's hell. Your whole body goes haywire.
#40
Living the “simple life” with no worries or stress in undeveloped nations.
Dorothy Reiser 1 month ago
No time for first world gripes. Survival takes up your entire life.
#41
Being as fit as an elite athlete and then having to maintain that level of commitment to exercise and nutrition.
Alexandra 1 month ago
I've been a volunteer at our local triathlon for years. One day, 5 minutes before "closing time', an Englishman managed to cross the finish line. We had to pick him up, put him in a wheelchair and wheel him to First Aid (standard protocol). He told us he had sacrificed a year of his life to do this. For a whole year, his life was eating right, exercise, work and rest. Nothing more. He had a family with 3 kids. His wife nearly left him. He told us 'never again'.
#44
Modelling.
#47
Hiking. I really want to like it, but I spend the bulk of it hoping for it to end. And I’m physically fit, I just find it boring. Maybe it will be better now that I live in the desert. (Not likely😂).
Michael Cook 1 month ago
I love walking and hiking. I don't like walking in prairies, because they are just flat with no trees. I love urban walking and walking in forests. I want some interest when I walk.
#48
The ocean. Looks nice until you swallow a mouthful of sea water.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Tobias Reaper 1 month ago
when people romanticise things like ADHD or Autism to seem quirky it really pisses me off because people then think that is what it is and its not serious. Its so much more than they realise my friend has a 6 year old who is Audhd and she has to cook different meals shop carefully for specific clothes with certain textures deal with emotional dysregulation which means she cant just decide to go somewhere especially if there is lots of people.
Alexandra 1 month ago
Ironically, the romanticizing of disabilities like ADHD and Autism stem from wanting to take away the stigma and show that it doesn't have to be that bad. It's the same with people who have DS: there are high-functioning people with DS and they are featured in series and articles, but the overwhelming majority of them need round-the-clock care, have other physical problems and will never be able to live independently.
Load More Replies...
Tobias Reaper 1 month ago
when people romanticise things like ADHD or Autism to seem quirky it really pisses me off because people then think that is what it is and its not serious. Its so much more than they realise my friend has a 6 year old who is Audhd and she has to cook different meals shop carefully for specific clothes with certain textures deal with emotional dysregulation which means she cant just decide to go somewhere especially if there is lots of people.
Alexandra 1 month ago
Ironically, the romanticizing of disabilities like ADHD and Autism stem from wanting to take away the stigma and show that it doesn't have to be that bad. It's the same with people who have DS: there are high-functioning people with DS and they are featured in series and articles, but the overwhelming majority of them need round-the-clock care, have other physical problems and will never be able to live independently.
Load More Replies... 
Related on Bored Panda
