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37 Stories From Women Who Married Rich And Found Out That This Kind Of Relationship Isn’t Sweet
Living a life of luxury and extravagance isn’t all glitz and glamor. There’s a lot of stress and mental health issues that come with vast wealth. You’re constantly under scrutiny. And even your closest relationships might not be quite what you want or need from them.
Women who married rich spilled the tea about what it is really like to live with someone who is incredibly successful. We curated their most intriguing insights, and you’ll find them below. Extreme materialism isn’t even the worst problem—it’s just the very tip of the iceberg.
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#1
I have a friend who married (and divorced) two very, very wealthy men. It definitely came with some perks, but the narcissism was next-level. Everything was about them. Their needs were way above everyone else’s, and they weren’t really interested in what anyone else had to say. She's now married to someone who is moderately successful and puts her first. Third time's the charm.
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#2
Workaholic.
#3
Im not a woman but im self-aware enough to know my faults especially when it was pointed out to me
base line: what made me successful is also what women don’t like about me
detached from my emotion; there is no such thing as work, only missions (so i never know when to stop working); wasting time is a sin, so little things like going for walks, feels terrible. Lack of empathy towards people’s emotions
worst thing of all, nobody has told me this but im sure its not liked, since im the successful one, you are on my schedule, not yours.
i think the only benefit i provide is being a provider and the ability to get stuff done.
When I worked with Oracle, I had to recruit one of their geniuses for position that paid 250k annually, so the manager and I were going through the list of projects these geniuses have completed in their career. This one tech, stood out, he had nearly triple the amount of projects and not only that, his projects were of the highest complexity almost inhuman and what the manager said after shook me to my core, he didn’t say he was hard working or motivated, he said “yeah he must have gone through some kind of trauma to make him want to work so much” and i find it true, so whatever trauma he went through is also going to affect his ability to be in a relationship.
The ultra-wealthy and super-rich struggle with problems that most other people do not. One of these issues is chronic isolation.
“Most people can’t understand how rich people can have problems. They dismiss rich people’s mental health concerns as insignificant and of diminished importance,” clinical psychotherapist Paul Hokemeyer, who has lots of experience working with the rich, told CNBC.
“They live in such a rarified place of the top 1% where there are very few people who share the realities of their world.”
Meanwhile, psychotherapist Amanda Falkson adds that the rich may not be lucky or happy, no matter what outsiders tend to think. The rich face emotions like grief, trauma, losses, and challenging relationships, on top of stressing over how their money is spent and who (not) to trust.
#4
Curious that so many people here are saying that you never get time with him.
I found the opposite. Most days he worked just two or three hours a day. We had lazy breakfasts, long lunches, and he did hobbies most evenings.
All we had was time. So much of it.
#5
My ex wasn't extremely rich, but he was wealthy, and his family was successful. For the most part, he seemed sweet, funny, and charming, all the things that I value in a person. But he was materialistic to the extreme, and it took me a while to realize the way he spoke about money wasn't just for jokes. He once said that a human's intrinsic value is tied to how much they're financially worth, and that I was less than him because I didn't make as much money as he did. I understand wanting money so you can be comfortable, but he wanted money for money's sake and viewed people through a lens of what they were worth to him. It was pretty gross.
#6
As someone who has dated people considered both rich and successful, I've noticed that they're incredibly busy. I have gone a month easily without seeing them, and barely texting in the meantime. Usually, having wealth comes with responsibility, and that makes it hard to find time to hang out. In addition, I think a lot of people have trust issues. It seems like a good idea to date someone wealthy, but most times, these men have trust issues because of their past. It's tough. If you're someone who can control your emotions and don't really want a loving or present partner, then marrying rich is for you.
“Wealth can be pretty isolating … sometimes all eyes are on you to see what you do with your money,” Falkson says.
Meanwhile, Hokemeyer emphasizes that there is additional pressure if you are wealthy, but your spouse is not. You might feel that you’re being used for your money. Moreover, your spouse might feel looked down on or portrayed as a gold digger, even if they aren’t.
Kids are affected by massive wealth, too. Calda Clinic points out that children in wealthy families suffer from anxiety 20% to 30% more often than normal. Other common issues include substance misuse, depression, eating disorders, cheating, and stealing.
#7
He will never have time for you, or will have little time to respond. If you are a woman who wants a lot of attention, then dating these people is not it. You will get to a point when you realize it doesn't matter how wealthy or rich the man is — if he doesn't care about you, it means nothing. Though some women can deal with this, I personally don't think it is for me.
#8
I know one dude who bought several condos as an investment. Then, when one was remodeled, instead of renting it back out, he moved his mistress in. He put her credit card and car in his project manager’s name. Poor people can't do this sort of thing, so they don't.
#9
Looking at my parents, my dad was always busy and hardworking. He left the house very early in the morning, only to return late at night. Also, he wouldn't take bull from anyone and valued his own time, so it takes a strong woman to be with such guys.
Getting rich overnight or marrying into wealth might sound like a dream come true, but it comes with its fair share of challenges. Just recently, someone in Illinois won the Powerball jackpot worth a whopping $1.04 billion. The winner can either take a lump cash payment of $450.5 million (pre-tax) or have the annuitized prize paid out over 29 years. Most Powerball winners choose lump sums over annuity payments.
The issue with overnight success and having a wealthy spouse is that you cause other people a lot of envy if you openly flaunt your cash and success. Suddenly, you can no longer be sure whether someone wants to be friends with you or reconnect because they care about you or because they want access to your assets. Meanwhile, you might find yourself the target of lawsuits, scams, investment ‘opportunities,’ and desperate pleas for help.
#10
I’ve dated wealthy men (and I am also a high-earner, for context). This idea of the peaceful, well-groomed wife at home is mostly a myth. Having genuinely moved in those circles, wealthy men want a woman who’s like them: educated, smart, and with a good career. Generally, they’re committed partners. What people don’t seem to know is that to be really wealthy, you usually are really intelligent, too. They see marriage as a life choice to be weighed and considered seriously. They also need a partner who can meet them, mentally. This applies to both men and women.
#11
The biggest risk is going to be entitlement. Someone can see you as not an equal partner if your paycheck isn't equal. Usually, there is some variation of a guy acting unkindly or selfishly and refusing to even listen to his partner's complaints because he sees it as if she owes him. A lot of guys who earn more expect not to lift a finger outside of their career, even if their partner works too. Society really does tell men that the main thing they need to contribute to a relationship is a paycheck. But relationship breakdown is usually because they were not connecting with their partner and family, and not being supportive within the home.
#12
I’ve been with a man who was wealthy. He was respectful, very busy with work, and spoiled me. We lived together for roughly 16 years. He was frugal with his finances and planned what he would spend on. Every time we stepped out, he always held the door open for me, no matter how long we were together. He didn’t work on weekends, but saved his earnings from work during the weekdays. He taught me a lot about organizational planning, how employees think when strategizing on leveling up their companies, and cutting employees loose who are not producing income for the company. I was able to use this in my daily life and plan ahead for myself. I just opened my own company this year, and am on my way to making six figures. Next year, I’ll be opening up a second branch in Philadelphia. Long story short, he taught me a lot of things that I was able to implement into my daily life. So, that was a plus for me.
Do you know anyone who married rich? How have their lives changed, and what do they struggle with? How full of drama are their lives?
If you happen to be well-off, how do you make sure that the people closest to you aren’t just trying to use you for your wealth? What are some green flags that someone is being genuine and authentic?
Let us know in the comments at the bottom of this post.
#13
My husband is wealthy and it’s overall been positive. I love the security of not having to do mental math at the grocery store to make sure I have enough money and not having any stress if an unexpected expense pops up.
I think financial security makes your relationship stronger because it eliminates a lot of the things I see some of my friends fight about with their partner. When my husband and I moved in together he came with a 3x a week housekeeper, a lawn service, and a maintenance man on call. So we don’t have the typical arguments about the husband not cleaning up after himself, ignoring his “honey do list”, or the woman feeling like she’s doing most of the housework. If anything I feel like he does a lot more and I feel bad. I’m also not the housewife type and I work so I don’t cook for him aside from maybe 2x a year.
Of course we still argue but for us the biggest argument is over social events. I love them and he’s introverted and sober so he hates them. We get invited to some really cool parties and galas and I feel like I have to drag him and then he doesn’t have fun. I don’t think that’s a wealth thing but wanted to share we definitely still argue and wealth doesn’t solve everything.
Biggest negative is I do feel a larger than average pressure to look good. This doesn’t come from my husband, but I can’t help but notice almost all of his friends and most people in our neighborhood have very attractive wives. I think this definitely relates to all of these people being wealthy. I spend much more time and effort on my appearance now and I think part of that is because I don’t want people to be thinking/saying “wow he’s so successful why is he with her?!” I’ve always cared about my appearance and worn makeup/dyed my hair long before meeting my husband, but now I can afford more expensive hair appointments, Pilates, skincare, Botox, etc. so my beauty routine has gotten much more expensive/time consuming.
Like everything, there are pros and cons!
Colleen Glim 1 hour ago
I think I’m glad I married a poor man. We argue about the usual things but I’m a diehard introvert and I give less than zero fùcks about how I look
#14
Successful men become successful because they focus all of their time and efforts on whatever skills made them wealthy and successful. They aren’t going to be doing the laundry and helping around the house. I am always amazed at how many women want a successful husband, and then complain about him not doing things around the house.
#15
A lot of people will think you’re in it for the money, even if you had or have your own career — because no one bothers to ask what the wife of a wealthy man does.
#16
My ex was wealthy and successful. We weren’t married, but lived together. He didn’t work more than any man I’ve dated since, wasn’t more stressed either. He was a very chill guy, loved to go hiking on the weekends and spend time with his family, etc.
One thing that surprised me was that he had a relatively small home, didn’t plan on updating it when I moved in, never bought expensive clothes, we rarely went out to eat, only on very special occasions.
The only thing he spent money on was travel, but only on getting to very far away untypical destinations, and continued his modest lifestyle when we got there.
I even questioned how much money he had at a point because he only hoarded it. The reason I know, is that he passed away a few years after we broke up, and his siblings inherited all his money. One was a nurse and one was a teacher. Both bought huge, beautiful homes in an expensive neighborhood, and drive very nice cars, so I guess he was rich all along.
Kira Okah 1 hour ago
One thing that I have heard is the world of difference between the "Old Money" and the "Nouveau Riche". The former are more likely to be modest, while the latter are more likely to flaunt it and be frivolous (note, I said more likely). Having met an honest to goodness Viscount when with my father in a shop in London once, you would never have guessed that he was a Viscount without seeing his ID, he was that modest. On the other hand, those guys who were hanging out of the doors of the Orient Express in London Victoria and insulting "the poors" coming in at the adjoining platform were not Old Money.
#17
I dated a wealthy guy for four years. He had high earnings and generational wealth. I also have high earnings, for context. What I noticed is that they’re really busy. You have to be comfortable with work calls during dinners and them being tired and stressed. In my experience, wealthy people also run on quite fast processors: They’re intelligent and often want to do lots of different things. This can be hard work, too!
#18
I lived with a man that many would consider pretty well-off (or even wealthy) for nine years. He was entitled and financially controlling to me. Those things can happen with men who are less well-off, for sure, but in a different way.
#19
My fiancée is wealthy, successful and handsome. We are not married yet but are soon to be married. Being with a wealthy “generous” men is overall a plus in my experience. My friends are also married to wealthy men and we are all provided for, loved and respected. Contrary to popular beliefs, most wealthy men from stable family are loyal and they understand divorce would be emotionally/financially detrimental for them so they value marriages too.
The common con is that they can be really busy but all of our fiancée/husband makes time for us, especially on special occasions. You also need to learn to give them space when they are stressed out because most of the time wealthy men works in highly stressful jobs.
Of course there are self-destructive wealthy men as well. They mostly come from broken dysfunctional families. They cheat, lies and have substance issues. I know few like these through my fiancée.
#20
It depends on the source of the wealth, my father in law was a traditionally successful man who made his wealth from climbing the career ladder. He married mother in law who’s quite a bit younger. I see that he yells at her and doesn’t want her to give him suggestions on what to do at all. But again she has always just benefited from His wealth and even with his nastiness she never wanted to leave so I guess she chose it herself.
Im together with one of this sons whom he never spoiled one bit. He’s good with money, doesn’t splurge at all and he has wealth from his own work and investments that he built from scratch. He’s not reliant on a career so we have time for each other. However the downside here is 1) because of his fathers wealth he grew up in comfortable environment so he tends to be material when it comes to living environment. We have to give and take when making decisions here but ultimately it leads me to investing some of my assets into things that I don’t consider high yield or important. 2) his father due to his career has a very hot temper and my husband resembles his mother when it comes to personality. So he is kinda the underdog in his family that his father sort of is harsher on compared to his siblings and as his partner I’ve had to stand up for myself more than the other kids partners.
Then there is the classic one where although I have a successful career too people tend to think everything is his 😂 I’ve had to make it clear when we have bought things together.
Another downside also projects to my own family. So I have families that live in a developing countries and they would literally want to build relationship with us/ his family with the hope that their kids can benefit from knowing us somehow. lol. 😂 or my grandparents who decided to give most of the inheritance to my aunt because her husband suffered from debt and from the surface it looks like I’m the doing who won’t have problems since I married “rich”.
#23
Okay here’s a real answer : as someone who has dated people considered both rich and successful. They are incredibly busy I have gone a month easily without seeing them and barely texting ( an hour or so) usually having wealth comes with responsibility and they are extremely busy hard to find time to hangout. In addition I think a lot of people have trust issues. It seems good idea to date someone wealthy but a lot of times men have trust issues because of their past or hearing about stuff. It’s tough but if you are someone who can control your emotions and don’t really want a loving or present partner it’s for you.
#24
My ex wasn't rich according to the numbers you posted in a comment, but he was wealthy and his family was successful.
For the most part he seemed sweet and funny and charming, all the things that I value in a person. But he was materialistic to the extreme and it took me a while to realise the way he spoke about money wasn't just jokes. He once said that a human's intrinsic value is tied to how much they're financially worth, and that I was less than him because I didn't make as much money as he did.
I understand wanting money so you can be comfortable, but he wanted money for money's sake, and viewed people through a lens of what they were *worth* to him. It was pretty gross.
#25
Being a trophy wife. It’s the saddest of all existences I believe.
Men who accumulate wealth tend to accumulate other things including a pretty girl. You tend not to see a rich guy with an ugly girl do you. And pretty girls will give up on looks to be with a rich guy. All very sad when you think of it. Find a girl on the way up. If she loves you for who you are with nothing, she’ll be your partner in the good times too. That’s what everyone deserves.
#26
I was married to a dentist and tbh it was so much about him and his practice. Also, he was a lousy lover who didn't care about pleasing me in the bedroom. He was also very critical at times. He was like the Golden Boy to his parents (my inlaws). who could do no wrong. I should never have married him but was young and inexperienced. I would have fared better with a guy who maybe wasn't as successful==like someone who had a trade for a living like a mechanic, carpenter, plumber, etc. who was smart and also good in bed.
#28
I own a successful business with 5 guys and one thing i will say is that a wealthy man will only ever be as faithful as his options. If you depend on him for every thing it makes it even that much harder. I know the Trad wife phenomenon is a more of a thing these days but let me remind you it is not easy. I have a really close friend also that was the wife of a lawyer and since she depended on him and even left college to marry him, when he was sick of her he locked her out of his house, took her car and left her to go move back to her parents with only a small garbage bag of things he felt she deserved to take. Which wasn’t much - She signed a prenup out of love and she was a very faithful and loving wife.
You have a much better chance of having a healthy and promising relationship if you both have a belief in a faith that believes in sacred marriage and even that isn’t fool proof or can even be deceiving.
Since i am one of 6 successful partners, i am the richer (wo)man in most of my relationships. Does that always work in relationships? Well no i am still not married, but i will say, the older i get and the more i watch my friends struggle with financial issues or divorces, i realize how much i love my financial freedom and no man can legally take that away from me.
#29
Successful individuals often have demanding schedules, which can lead to a lack of quality time together.
#30
Not married but previous SO. He came from money. Very lazy and entitled. What was his was his what was mine (I made more money than he did…which was nothing) was also his, but he somehow always made jabs at me in public as if i were in it for “his money”. Threw tantrums and was used to getting his way. Cut the cord. Good riddance
EDIT: so I guess wealthy but not successful. Half answering your question.
#31
He will never have time for you, or will have little time to response. If you are a women who wants a lot of attention, dating these people is not it. You will get to a point when you realize it doesnt matter how wealthy or rich the man can provide,if he doesnt care about you, it means nothing. Though some women can deal with this, I personally dont think it is for me.
#32
Yeah everytime I hear "money" being the ultimate goal for every other goal. I always think these people are one step behind the big picture. It all goes back in the box. The money, power, wife, kids, all of it doesn't go with you. So you gotta ask yourself, what matters?
#33
I dated a wealthy guy for four years (high earnings + generational wealth). I also have high earnings, for context.
They’re busy. You have to be comfortable with work calls in dinners, them tired and stressed. In my experience wealthy people also run on quite high/fast processors: they’re intelligent and often want to do lots of different things. This can be hard work too!
#34
Also side note- if you complain about a rich man being a work a holic you better remember that you chose that from day one - if you choose to not work but marry a man that is successful NEVER EVER EVER complain that he works too much. That is the nail in the coffin to every wealthy man or woman in a relationship. New and continued Business doesn’t always magically grow on trees, if you can’t handle it or if quality time is your love language, move on to a guy that has a balanced life or a trust fund baby with nothing but free time.
#35
Successful men become successful because they focus all of their time and efforts on whatever skills made them wealthy and successful.
So they aren’t going to be doing the laundry and helping around the house.
I am always amazed at how many women want a successful husband, and then moan about him not doing things around the house.
#37
A sucessful man may just be the plan B for safety security safety and stability but the plan A man who really gets her juices going will be a man who is not as sucessful but good in the bedroom...those are the risks...
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What do you think ?
Binky Melnik 1 hour ago (edited)
The absolute weirdest thing I learned from dating wealthy people is that I’m terrified of those exotic and expensive race-type cars. The first time I got in a Maserati, it was terribly embarrassing, as it’s about 6” off the ground (or maybe less, even), and trying to maneuver into it while wearing heels and a short leather dress was prolly hilarious to anyone watching me try to do it, but was mortifying to me! (Don’t believe me? Put on some heels and then see how gracefully you can sit on a pillow. You can’t!) The speed at which they drive them is REALLY scary, and because your delicate bits are sooo close to the asphalt, speed bumps are nightmare-inducing! I was convinced my catbag would be scraped off on a speed bump (and there were two in the lead-up to my complex). Sure, I had to deal with some who were obscenely tight-fisted and some who threw money around like confetti and you never know which you’ve got until you’ve gone a few places together, and then there are those who look down at you because you don’t have your own wealth, and even when I did, I was still made to feel by one as if I were broke and worthless. (Had to get away from that one *quickly* while I still had a shard of self-esteem and -respect remaining). The funnest was a sugar mama-type who was generous, loving, and wanted only for me to be HAPPY, and didn’t make me feel as if I were there for the money the way some others do. (That’s a super-tiring argument, and twice, I simply threw up my hands and said, “You got me! I put up with your fixation on shoes and boots because you have money! And now I’m outta here!” (though I’d never asked for ANYTHING, ever.) On the whole, I’d rather be with someone who can take care of themselves and doesn’t judge peoples’ worth by counting their dollars, who are smart, funny, kind, and have good character. I don’t ever need someone making me feel small, as I grew up with that and STILL haven’t grown out of that mindset.
Binky Melnik 1 hour ago (edited)
The absolute weirdest thing I learned from dating wealthy people is that I’m terrified of those exotic and expensive race-type cars. The first time I got in a Maserati, it was terribly embarrassing, as it’s about 6” off the ground (or maybe less, even), and trying to maneuver into it while wearing heels and a short leather dress was prolly hilarious to anyone watching me try to do it, but was mortifying to me! (Don’t believe me? Put on some heels and then see how gracefully you can sit on a pillow. You can’t!) The speed at which they drive them is REALLY scary, and because your delicate bits are sooo close to the asphalt, speed bumps are nightmare-inducing! I was convinced my catbag would be scraped off on a speed bump (and there were two in the lead-up to my complex). Sure, I had to deal with some who were obscenely tight-fisted and some who threw money around like confetti and you never know which you’ve got until you’ve gone a few places together, and then there are those who look down at you because you don’t have your own wealth, and even when I did, I was still made to feel by one as if I were broke and worthless. (Had to get away from that one *quickly* while I still had a shard of self-esteem and -respect remaining). The funnest was a sugar mama-type who was generous, loving, and wanted only for me to be HAPPY, and didn’t make me feel as if I were there for the money the way some others do. (That’s a super-tiring argument, and twice, I simply threw up my hands and said, “You got me! I put up with your fixation on shoes and boots because you have money! And now I’m outta here!” (though I’d never asked for ANYTHING, ever.) On the whole, I’d rather be with someone who can take care of themselves and doesn’t judge peoples’ worth by counting their dollars, who are smart, funny, kind, and have good character. I don’t ever need someone making me feel small, as I grew up with that and STILL haven’t grown out of that mindset.
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