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Most of us would probably like to be more open and honest with each other, but in real life, that’s often easier said than done. Online, though, people tend to be much more willing to say what’s actually on their mind.
So when one Redditor asked men what they’ve always wanted to tell women but never do, plenty of them were willing to share. Scroll down to read their answers and get a glimpse into their thoughts.
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#2
The silly things I do mean a lot to me. That T-shirt with the dumb print? I really like it. If you let me be vulnerable with small joys, I will be vulnerable with bigger things.
#3
Stop following fashion trends. They are just there to rip you off and make you buy garbage you don’t need. And some of them make you look outright ridiculous.
monsieur mabel 1 week ago
.....like those ripped jeans that hey both sexes are wearing ?.........fools always a partin' with they coin..........tee hee
#5
Compliment us. I genuinely teared up when a gay man (very respectfully) hit on me. He complimented my jacket n shoes and complimented my color coordination. He very quickly realized I wasn’t gay and the conversation turned into sports rather quickly. But, I always think about that day.
Doctor Strange 1 week ago
I remember with perfect clarity the last time I got an unsolicited compliment on my looks. And that includes during the rare times I had a girlfriend. I was 6 years old. I'm over 40 now.
#7
That most “sweet” women’s perfumes smell vile, they smell far better without them.
Rinso The Red 1 week ago
My wife thinks it is hilarious how much I like the smell of her shampoo
#8
We actually do get our feelings hurt. we just dont say anything because we were taught not to. its exhausting tbh.
#9
That we want you to help us assemble our Lego Millennium Falcon.
#10
Please hug and spoon me first!
#11
We love you in all your forms.
Tall and short, slim and full-figured, bright and modest, funny and serious, beautiful and unique, graceful and clumsy, dressed and naked, close to us and barely known, independent and shy, smart and simple, loud and quiet — all of you.
We often find it difficult to express our love without sounding rude or inappropriate.
But we love you.
You are the most important part of our lives.
Billo66 1 week ago
I prefer a s**y outfit over nudity any day. I have a good friend who is a dancer. She always invites me to see her show. I've told her numerous times. "Sweetie, Im the only friend you have who hasn't seen you naked. I like being friends with you on that level. I'm not after your body, you're just a cool chick I like to hang out with" I have never been in a strip club in my life. I already know what naked ladies look like and I don't know what's up with the pole.
#12
That peace matters more than drama.
A woman who brings calm, respect, and loyalty stands out more than she may realize.
#13
Misandry is not attractive or appealing.
Bur* 1 week ago
I mean... I have a very high wall up when it comes to random men. My "misansry" was built up over time by the behavior of the general male population, not taught. Is it really wrong to be wary when a large subsection of the population treats you like you're worthless unless you're willing to have séx with them?
#14
We actually love gentleness and tenderness. Also, we need peace in our lives.
#15
Sometimes when you tell me about something that happened at work I think that you’re in the wrong.
Spannidandoolar 1 week ago
Then tell them? Thos goes both ways, my husband was p1ssed about his bosses reaction to something so I framed it slightly differently and then he realised how he could avoid the issue happening again.
#16
Being pregnant/on the time of the month/menopausal/post-partum is NO EXCUSE for treating people poorly/being a jerk.
If it wouldn’t be acceptable to treat the McDonald’s drive thru worker that way then what makes it ok for you to treat a child or your husband that way?
#17
When I see an outfit tha's pretty cool, or an awesome hairstyle, I want to compliment them. But I don’t want to come off like I am flirting. I am happily married, and don’t want people to think that I am being flirtatious with someone that isn’t my wife.
Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 1 week ago
My husband was the same way. I told him to say something along the lines of, "My wife would love your hair cut" or "My wife would think your outfit is pretty cool." This is a way to give a compliment, but within it, you've mentioned your wife, which cuts against any suspicion that you are flirting.
#18
Sometimes we like to be wined and dined too! Maybe not in fancy restaurants, it we like to be appreciated.
Doctor Strange 1 week ago
Everyone needs to feel like they are wanted. Doesn't necessarily have to be 'wined and dined', there are many ways to show a guy you actually want HIM specifically, and not just anyone.
#19
I know mansplaining happens but i genuinely just like talking amd explaining things im passionate and informed on and youre giving me attention so sorry you got sucked into my info dump. I know you probably do know this thing im yammering on about, or at least are aware and smart enough to figure it out, but when I start a sentence im cursed with finishing the thought or I cant sleep at night. Im sorry if none of it is new or profound.
Yes, Im aware that this is also, in effect, kinda mansplaining...
Fungus John 1 week ago (edited)
like everything, mansplaining has lost its meaning and has become a catch all for anything a man says that I don't like.
#20
Us being quiet, or zoning out, does not mean we're mad. It also does not mean we're starved for something to occupy our time. It means we've shut off our brains for a little bit of oblivion time.
We don't know why you can't get there and we can't tell you how. But it's nice there and we like to spend a little bit of every day there.
#21
We sometimes feel totally clueless about how you think or feel. We want to get it right but we rarely admit when we’re lost in translation, because we don’t want to seem weak or dumb. And a lot of guys secretly want to hear you say you trust us. It’s weird how simple some of these things are, yet we bottle them up. If you want, I can give you a short list of like 5 more things that men always keep to themselves but are dying to say.
Sue Denham 1 week ago
Chances are if you're honest about how you're confused we'll have a whole lot more respect for you.
#22
It is very difficult for us to get over someone when we truly fell in love.
Kelly Scott 1 week ago
I fell in love with the lead singer of a rock band when I was 13 and have never recovered.
#23
Not speaking for all men here, but I love how much easier it is for me to get along with women than men. Also, women are freaking awesome, tough, and make the world go round, men are babies...
I'm sure these are unpopular opinions, but something I want to get off my chest.
David Paterson 1 week ago
I love how much easier it is for me to get along with women than men. My wife gets jealous if I get along with women. Then wonders why I don't socialise. I can't tell her.
#24
This story is so long and you are telling it horribly.
#25
Making yourself a martyr unnecessarily is not in any way helpful. We’ll just resent you for not trusting us enough to ease your burden. Let us help you instead of trying to win gold in the suffering Olympics.
Spannidandoolar 1 week ago
Then notice the burden? It's not difficult to think if we didn't have each other what tasks would we respectively need to pick up that we don't currently do? Is there a disparity between these lists?
#26
I'm not following you; we happened to be going in the same direction. This is as awkward for me as it is for you. I'd love to get your attention and tell you I want to overtake so I can walk in front, but calling out is weird. Me speeding up to overtake with no announcement is also weird....rock and a hard place. Guess I'll wait and tie my already tied shoes or something.
Auntriarch 1 week ago
Cross the road. That's what we're told to do if we think we're being followed
#27
She always told me to tell her if she ever sounded like her mother. That’s never going to happen. The telling her part.
#28
That your behavior, attitude, and treatment of others wouldn't be tolerated for a moment if you were guys. .
Kelly Scott 1 week ago
I don't know. I haven't seen a lot of women catcall strange men, or tell men their bodies are built to only sire children, or that they need to be totally alpha all the time.
#29
Many men secretly wish they could express to women how much they long for emotional safety and true appreciation. They frequently experience silent pressure to be the "unshakable provider" while secretly yearning for a place where they can be vulnerable without fear of rejection.
Doug Moyer 1 week ago
Many men THINK they are under pressure to be the "unshakeable provider" when they are not...
#30
We are not as strong as we pretend to be.
Ye Olde Dirty Grumpy 1 week ago
It has been scientifically proven that men are extra weak vs colds
#31
We don’t understand 90% of home décor trends, but we support them anyway.
Doug Moyer 1 week ago
Neither of us understand any of that. I bought most of the furniture and did most of the decorating because I moved to California before she followed me out. None of the furniture goes together in any way. What ever.
#32
"you snored last night".
Rinso The Red 1 week ago
"A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores' - Sir Terry Pratchett (GNU)
#33
That other girls also look good… just because we’re in a relationship doesn’t mean that other people stop being attractive.
It’s just important that you don’t stare or act on anything and just be respectful.
Display Name 1 week ago
My girl and I both look at girl butts and cute guys. It's just natural and nothing wrong with it...
#34
When you ask us to fix something and we do, please don't say "I could have done that."We know you could have. You asked us to. We did it. Just let it be a nice moment.
Kelly Scott 1 week ago
Um, we would only say that if we asked you to fix something and it took you 6 months and a bottle of wine to do it.
#35
YOU CAN CHOOSE WHEREVER YOU WANT TO EAT
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE, WE CAN EAT WHEREVER I WANT TO EAT
YOU CAN'T CHOOSE TO DO NEITHER OF THESE.
persephone134 1 week ago (edited)
I used to work in a movie theater, selling popcorn etc.. A random scene of a young couple who order drinks. He asks her, "What do you want to drink?". She: "Don't care". Hence, he: "Coke light, then." She probably did care, but wanted to be polite and let him choose. He probably wanted to be polite and respect her worry about being too fat. Now they both didn't have the drinks they really wanted. Communication can be hard. It may lead to bigger failures at communication.
#36
What do you want?
No games, just get to the point.
Kelly Scott 1 week ago
That reminds me of a line in Tootsie. The woman wants to know if the guy is attracted to someone else. "Just tell me!" He tells her he is interested in someone else. She screams like a banshee. "You said to tell you!" "But I never said how I would feel about it!" Paraphrasing here - I can't remember the exact lines.
#37
The feeling of purpose they're love gives us, wanting to be there no matter how corny it sounds laying my life for you. The thoughts and memories good or bad fuel my everyday. You don't just give me the sense of belonging but the urge to fight. Even when I fail just merly the scent of you pushes me to get up and continue. To you I devote my life, my friend who's seen me at my lowest who's seen me bare with nothing to hide behind. I choose you. Even when upset, I'll choose you, my life, my purpose.
#38
We’re often just as insecure as you. We’re just better at hiding it.
#39
Tell me if you want me the propose solutions or just listen….
Rinso The Red 1 week ago
This is definitely both sides. We want to make things better, but often, she just wants to vent. I ask if there's anything I can do to help. If the answer is no, I know I'm there to sympathize, not solve.
#40
Stop bringing up up problems and anxieties just before we are about to go to sleep.
Happy to hear and listen throughout the day, but when my heads on the pillow, the lights are out, I’m in sleep mode, and I’m just gonna resent being tired the next day.
#41
That we like to watch TV without having someone chatting all the time.
sofacushionfort 1 week ago
And it shouldn’t be my job to explain to you what you’re missing while you’re also looking at your phone
#42
I wish you showed me the same level of attention to my feelings that I show you.
#43
We would like to be able to be more vulnerable but you seem to like us less when we show that side.
#44
That we notice the little things you do and I really appreciate them but it feels awkward to just drop that randomly. But it’s not that men don’t want to share, it’s just that some truths feel too raw to say without overthinking.
#47
It is emotionally manipulative, or at best emotionally immature, to get upset at me because you did something that made me get upset at you.
So many grown women, either intentionally or not, create situations where it’s hard to be forthcoming about your own feelings because if the man gets upset the woman takes it personally and gets upset about that. Now I’m in a situation where I’m apologizing even though you’re the one who messed up. It’s effectively punishing me for being open with you about my feelings. It’s not healthy.
#48
For me;
The reason I was taking things slow wasn’t because I wasn’t taking things seriously. It’s because I have a really bad trauma response when it comes to trusting people because of my childhood. So talking to you (partner) was difficult and every part of my body was telling me not to trust you because you’ll just hurt me like everyone else did, including my family. But you seem good enough to trust and just take the leap of faith on.
I’ve only ever gotten to the path of a relationship twice in my life, both times I was laughed off or disrespected to the point where I could feel my old panic attack kick in, for being too “slow” in the process of leading to a relationship. So as you can see my trust issues have gotten pretty extreme now, I joke that it’d probably take me a year of talking to someone to actually trust them enough to go on a first date. This genuinely messed with my head even worse because I’ve been going to therapy for 16 years for things that have happened to me and some women feel disrespected when you don’t follow a specific timeline. Which then leads to them thinking you’re playing them or not actively moving the momentum. So yeah, if you’re talking to a guy who seems nervous, shy, or ‘slow’ in momentum. There’s a chance (not always) but there’s a chance that it’s coming from a traumatic response.
I’m still hopeful I’ll find a woman/man who actually understands me because I know what I want and need in a relationship.
Edit: I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m putting women down, I’ve had plenty of really nice and respectful women in my life, although I wasn’t available at the time they completely understood and treated me so well. 🫶 thank you to all the kind hearted women out there who made me feel safe in the dating world.
Oskar vanZandt 1 week ago
Most of us feel vulnerable when we enter into intimate relationships... It takes time to build trust.
#49
We low-key love when you ask for our opinion, even if we act like it’s a hassle. Just say the word!
#51
I had a friend with really bad breath who always complained about being single. I don't think anyone had it in them to tell her.
#52
Honestly sometimes in the gym, some of you gals are hella strong, sometimes i wanna compliment but worried it’ll come off creepy.
like i have the love of my life already - but don’t want it come off weird.
Bored Jellyfish 1 week ago
Please don’t be watching us workout, and just pay attention to your own.
#53
Why do you get to be upset because I'm trying to solve your problems instead of just being an ear but I can't be upset with you when I tell you mine and you just want to listen instead of helping me?
Why don't these things go both ways? Why is your point of view automatically the high ground?
Kelly Scott 1 week ago
Is this just a vent or do you want a suggestion? Open mouth, let words come out. Two-way communication is a wondrous thing.
#54
My experience has been with women, but this goes for everyone. All the guys I know are simple creatures and logic/solution oriented (not implying they're not emotional). I'm bad at guessing games, I'm not going to know exactly what you want for your birthday, I don't like surprises, if you come to me with a problem, my first response is going to be how to solve that problem and none of that can be changed. I'm waaaay dumber than you think and the only thing on my mind is where I left off in my save file.
#55
Read bell hooks "The will to change"
Also my need to explicitely clarify boundaries alongside how i communicate with you comes because I want to ensure I am not violating your boundaries more than I am satisfying my desires and because of my in the momment concerns that come about as a result of what i recognize in your actions.
I legitimately did mean every kind thing I say because the momments we spent together represented for me finding someone who for once was as close to finding someone who could even slightly understsnd me as they could.
#56
I had a coworker in my company, she does not listen fully but always intrupt between talk and she is still single. I want to tell her but i fear she might interupt again and cover her major fault and will not accept.
#57
That when we go quiet mid conversation we are not mad, we are just thinking about something completely unrelated. could be anything. sometimes it is a movie from 2003. it means nothing.
What do you think ?
Ace 1 week ago (edited)
A lot of these are bordering on misogyny, really showing a lack of understanding or empathy. Mostof the botom half of the list, TBH, which is I guess, why they're down at the bottom half of the list.
Bored Jellyfish 1 week ago
Yeah, I only made down a quarter the list before I clicked out.
Load More Replies...
Chris the Bobcat 1 week ago
Some of these are genuinely terrible, while some of them are pretty accurate. But some of the comments show why a lot of us don't show vulnerabilities in the first place.
Ace 1 week ago (edited)
A lot of these are bordering on misogyny, really showing a lack of understanding or empathy. Mostof the botom half of the list, TBH, which is I guess, why they're down at the bottom half of the list.
Bored Jellyfish 1 week ago
Yeah, I only made down a quarter the list before I clicked out.
Load More Replies... Chris the Bobcat 1 week ago
Some of these are genuinely terrible, while some of them are pretty accurate. But some of the comments show why a lot of us don't show vulnerabilities in the first place.
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