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Couples’ Therapy Turns Into A Nightmare As Therapist Sides With One Partner Against The Other
Interview With Expert
Imagine walking into a couples therapy session hoping to mend things with your partner, only to leave feeling like you’ve been ambushed, misrepresented, and misunderstood.
That’s exactly what happened to today’s Original Poster (OP) who had been trying to work through some deep-seated differences with her girlfriend. They hoped therapy would help them bridge the gap. But the results? Well, let’s just say, it didn’t go as planned.
More info: Reddit
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It is most certainly a different kind of betrayal when the one person you turn to for guidance ends up making things worse
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author and her girlfriend were both in couples therapy to work out the differences between them
Image credits: Savings_Split_3870
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Their joint session went well, but during an individual session, the therapist told the author things her girlfriend had told her
Image credits: Savings_Split_3870
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The therapist refused to acknowledge her side of the story and also accused her of being selfish, manipulative, and controlling
Image credits: Savings_Split_3870
The girlfriend also noticed that the therapist seemed to be biased, and now the author feels stuck as there are no other therapists in the same area
The relationship between the OP and her girlfriend seemed to have a lot of love, but also a fair share of contrasts. She was hyperactive, always on the move, and loved trying new things. Her girlfriend, on the other hand, was more of a homebody, preferring peace and quiet to socializing and adventure.
Their differences had led to some tension, and they thought therapy could be the key to working through their issues. Their first joint session went relatively well. However, in her solo session, the OP found herself blindsided by accusations. According to the therapist, she was dominating the relationship, not making sacrifices, and even failing to recognize her partner’s efforts.
The OP was painted as rigid, selfish, and controlling, and though she explained that she’d made a lot of efforts, she was met with criticism that felt unjust and extreme. As the therapy sessions unfolded, the OP’s girlfriend shared that the therapist had repeatedly questioned her about leaving the relationship and had even described the OP as manipulative.
The most telling incident came when the therapist interpreted placing a hand on her girlfriend’s thigh as a controlling gesture to silence her. The girlfriend also felt that the OP’s words were misrepresented. Now, after such a tumultuous therapy experience, the OP would like to know the difference between healthy confrontation and straight-up emotional harm.
Image credits: Frolopiaton Palm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In a situation where therapy seems to have exacerbated the couple’s tension, it’s essential to understand the ethical guidelines therapists should follow to ensure a safe and constructive space. Bored Panda reached out to psychologist Christabell Madondo, who emphasized that therapists must set clear boundaries in both joint and individual sessions.
“Therapists should always clarify roles and confidentiality from the start. It’s also very important to avoid forming alliances or taking sides, and maintaining transparency throughout the process,” she explained, emphasizing that this approach is crucial in building trust and ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected.
However, what if a client feels misrepresented or unfairly judged during therapy? Madondo advised that the first step is to address the issue directly with the therapist. “If the response doesn’t resolve the concern, clients can request a case review, seek a second opinion, or even consider transferring to another therapist,” she said.
She highlighted that these steps help ensure that the therapeutic space remains emotionally safe and that both partners feel supported in the relationship.
We also asked her about signs that a therapist might be projecting bias or making harmful assumptions. She noted several red flags, including overgeneralization or stereotyping, making moral judgments, or minimizing the client’s lived experiences.
“Therapists should always strive for empathy and consistency,” she added before stating that if these qualities are missing, it may be a sign that the therapist’s personal biases are influencing the therapeutic process, which could damage the trust and safety required for successful therapy.
Netizens criticized the therapist’s behavior, calling it highly unprofessional and damaging to the couple’s relationship. They emphasized that a therapist should never frame things in absolute, accusatory terms.
What do you think about this situation? Do you believe therapy should be a neutral space, or is it okay for a therapist to take sides? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens expressed their irritation towards the therapist as they maintained that she’s highly unprofessional and unethical
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
It's so important to report therapists like this. The procedure depends on where you are, but therapists like this bully vulnerable people, who aren't always able to see that like OP and her gf have.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Ok that therapist sounds like she has serious issues. The job of a therapist is to facilitate not try to accuse and blame. They need to look online or elsewhere and find a good therapist and they do need to report her for her profoundly unprofessional behavior. If both people in the session and after the individual session feel the counselor was out of line, outright lying, and menacing then it was definitely unprofessional.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
Does therapist want them to break up so therapist can have OP's GF?
Vinnie 7 months ago (edited)
That occurred to me, as well. Dating a client would be a major ethical breach. Thank goodness the couple are in agreement about the therapist.
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FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
It's so important to report therapists like this. The procedure depends on where you are, but therapists like this bully vulnerable people, who aren't always able to see that like OP and her gf have.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Ok that therapist sounds like she has serious issues. The job of a therapist is to facilitate not try to accuse and blame. They need to look online or elsewhere and find a good therapist and they do need to report her for her profoundly unprofessional behavior. If both people in the session and after the individual session feel the counselor was out of line, outright lying, and menacing then it was definitely unprofessional.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
Does therapist want them to break up so therapist can have OP's GF?
Vinnie 7 months ago (edited)
That occurred to me, as well. Dating a client would be a major ethical breach. Thank goodness the couple are in agreement about the therapist.
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