Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
We've all received our fair share of weird messages. Maybe it was a neighbor asking to "borrow" something totally unexpected, or a completely out-of-the-blue drunk text from an ex. But every now and then, you get a message so bizarre, so out there, that the only logical thing to do is share it with the internet.
Today, Pandas, we've rounded up some of the strangest, funniest, and most confusing texts people have ever received. So sit back, scroll on, and enjoy this wild collection of unexpected digital chaos!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Opening Gone Unexpected
Jaya 11 months ago
As far as joking opening lines go, I thought this one was actually cute and kinda funny.
Wolfgang Bonow 11 months ago
Yeah, I think the f-off was over the top in the reply. Pretty low.
Load More Replies...
RELATED:
#2
I Don’t Think She’s Gonna Respond Anymore
Mike F 11 months ago
Wow, if you have something to say, say it. If you keep beating around the bush we'll never figure it out.
person (i think) 11 months ago
Another good response to “you’ll never find someone like me again” would be”I sure hope not!”
Boredest Panda 11 months ago
It would be such a blessing to never find someone like you again, I might even have to start believing in God
#3
My Ex Texted Me After I Found Out He Cheated
Text messaging has come a long way from its early days. Believe it or not, the first-ever text message was sent way back in 1992 when engineer Neil Papworth sent a simple “Merry Christmas” over the Vodafone network.
Back then, no one could have predicted that tiny text bubbles on our screens would go on to change the way we communicate forever.
#4
Tinder Goth Girl
Eroe Infinito 11 months ago
The censored word is "tagged." So her and her ex were playing tag.
Bewitched One 11 months ago
I’m guessing she’s trying to put on an act with the name or trying to act “scary” But maybe she’s just whacko 🤷🏼♀️
Tilly’syellowsnowman 11 months ago
Oh, the censoring is really good. What word is that? Strobing?
Dragons Exist 11 months ago
I assume the censoring is so it doesn't get blurred but so we can still read it?
#5
Is This Your Man?
Vic 11 months ago
I think at this point you are just insulting the scum ..
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
I'm going to be downvoted but this would make me go straight to the wife because you just know you are not the only one getting this message and she deserves to know what a POS he is before she wastes more of her life on him.
Hakitosama 11 months ago
Takes a screenshot. Finds the wife. Sends the screenshot...sisters look out for eachother
Michael Largey 11 months ago
Why would any single woman respond positively to this? Had it ever worked for this guy?
Deborah B 11 months ago
No, you're missing the point, this is honest signaling, and should be encouraged. Tell him you appreciate his honesty, and hope he's being equally open with his spouse. It would save everyone from wasting time and emotions on men who are lie about the fact that they're cheating pieces of s**t.
#6
I'm At Church With My Mom And She Messaged Me This While I Was At The Washroom
Corvus 11 months ago
It's really hard to poop with God watching over you. Some privacy please!
Andrew Keir 11 months ago
He's watching when you, er, 'make babies', too. Someone should say something - but I'm an atheist so I don't have a prayer
Load More Replies... 
Bewitched One 11 months ago
She’s just making sure the turd coming out doesn’t turn you gay or something. /s /j
Giles McArdell 11 months ago
"Muuum, go away! You're making it go back in!" - Moss from "The IT crowd" :D
Back in the early days, texting wasn’t the free-flowing chat fest it is now. SMS had a strict 160-character limit, which meant every word had to count. No room for rambling or over-explaining! This constraint led to the rise of abbreviations, which are still a part of everyday texting lingo today.
#7
New AirPods Cheaper Than Repair
quentariel 11 months ago
Yes, but the poor helpdesk person can't do anything about it so everyone please them nicely. Besides, this one was joyfully honest and I like that.
Load More Replies... PFD 11 months ago
Cheaper to buy a new wine glass than repair a smashed one, too. When we choose miniaturised precision engineering, we make a choice of something inherently hard to repair, like drinking from fine crystal instead of a good solid mug. Repairable earbuds just aren't a thing. Even at iFixit, where they've done loads of earbud teardowns, the main "repair" they really seem to talk about is fitting a new battery. If you want repairable, start out by accepting that you're gonna have big over-the-ear cans. And don't buy Apple :)
Jason Kennith 11 months ago
Couldn't agree more. Apple kinda sucks and most people I know who use it are stupid idiots who have no idea what they're doing. The battery life lasts a day, tops. My Samsung can go almost a week without charging. (OK to be fair it is a Gabb phone, but still Samsung.)
Load More Replies... The person leveling NYC 11 months ago
Dang, Apple’s Verified Account texted them AND hit them back?
ColdSteelRonin 11 months ago (edited)
I first encountered this in the early 90s with a VHS player. It was 4 months old, 1 month outside of manufactures warranty. The power supply modulator (if I recall correctly) went out and it would have cost $150 to repair the player which I had paid $120 for. Tossed it and bought a different brand that lasted until VHS became obsolete.
Earonn - 11 months ago
1. only 3 months of warranty? In what uncivilised country did you live??? 2. Given the prices were about the same as in Germany, that's would make roughly 1.5 hours of work (that part cost us usually around 50-100 Deutschmark). The repair doesn't take that long but the question is if you found out what was wrong or if the workshop did (in which case they would have invested time in finding out what was wrong - and make sure that it wasn't just the modulator - but get no money for that investment. All in all not way too high but yeah, why would you pay that if it cost way less.
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 11 months ago
It's called miniaturization and can only be done by pulling the entire thing apart and rebuilding. This is not a car engine where stuff comes out readily in one or two pieces.
#8
Guy I (Used To) Find Attractive Happened To Slide Into My Dms
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Lol at impatient people who think everyone is just sitting around scrolling on phones waiting to be hollered at. At least that flag comes early.
Neopet22 11 months ago
A guy I sometimes hook up with like once a year,got pissy at me for taking long to respond on WhatsApp. Explained to him I don't go online often on the phone where i have WhatsApp installed and that he can text me if he needs me urgently (meaning like he wants to meet or smth). 2 weeks ago he sends me a message 'sup' I answered an hour later and went offline as I was getting ready to sleep,he answered 10 min later and then texted me 1 hour later calling it hopeless to talk to me if I don't answer the text. People need to chill about texting,not everyone owes you an immediate response and life gets busy.
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 11 months ago
i know i should be focusing on what they are saying, but im just popping off at the fact they both follow dwight from the office
#9
Text From Our Estranged Mum To Sister For Her 17th Birthday
Anastasia Beaverhausen 11 months ago
I feel this, my “mom” texts for my birthday every 3 years or so and it’s always the wrong day. 😔
Leekier 10 months ago
Every birthday mam used tell me how long my dad had been dead; he died the week of my first birthday. The year she told me I was the same age as dad when he died, I had instant chest pains! Just an anxiety attack though
Load More Replies...
char 11 months ago
as it was sent past 11:48, I'm guessing she meant it was her last two minutes of being 17, the language was a little hard to follow though
Load More Replies... 
Colleen Glim 11 months ago
How do you forget what day another human being was exiting your body? Those are etched in my memory
Fast forward to today, and texting is one of the most widely used forms of communication. In 2021 alone, mobile users in the U.S. sent a jaw-dropping 2 trillion text messages.
That’s nearly 6 billion texts per day! To put that into perspective, if each text took just one second to read, you’d be reading non-stop for over 190 years.
#10
Texts You Never Want To Get
Tilly’syellowsnowman 11 months ago
Omg… I’ve had similar experiences in school, and it’s freaking terrifying. I would be so concerned if I got that text. Hope they’re ok.
turk 11 months ago
School shooting and children dying? That's the cost of living in America. Ho-hum. A billionaire CEO got shot?!? Call out the national guard!!! This cannot be tolerated!!!
pfeils wife 11 months ago
Turk, it's so sad how accurate your comment is. 💔
Load More Replies... Bewitched One 11 months ago
Apparently this was an 8th grader. So around 14. The gunman (another 8th grader) was trying to break in through a window while this brave young man led others out the back door of the building. The shooter shot at the window trying to get in and was subsequently “taken out” by the police
Bewitched One 11 months ago
Mom said she absolutely didn’t listen and took off running to the school (probably live close, I have my kids’ school right on the other side of the fence from my backyard, thankfully) but I believe she said that the boy was in the cafeteria when he heard gunshots and that was when he sent the first text
Load More Replies...
Bewitched One 11 months ago
Right. Unless this was someone telling like a friend or bf to not pick them up. As a parent. I wil use my body as my child’s bullet proof vest before I just “don’t come”.
Load More Replies...
R Dennis 11 months ago
There was a shooting at a high school 30 miles from my daughter's high school (4 dead) and an all night manhunt for a gunman at my goddaughter's university (3 dead)... I fear these texts every day. People can say all they want about remote learning during covid, but at least I didn't have to worry about random gun violence.
Stacey Brennan 11 months ago
That is absolutely terrifying!!! Parents and children shouldn't have to live with that threat while attending school. It's madness!
#11
Why Are Some Men Like This?
Boredest Panda 11 months ago
Honestly, men who do this have an IQ so low the people in Hell jump down to it when they want to die again. And then they never even hit the ground because it keeps getting lower.
Lila Allen 11 months ago
I'm just not sure how they think stripping off and showing their shortcomings is a come on
Load More Replies...
Apachebathmat 11 months ago
I wonder why some men send a picture of the ugliest part of their body?
Undercover 11 months ago
A german comedian said about these men: "Their face looks like a pan of maggots, but look at my shlong!" 😁
Load More Replies...
Tobias Reaper 11 months ago
honestly why do dudes do this nobody wants to see that i dont even like seeing my own
Earonn - 11 months ago
Sounds good, but humour doesn't make them stop. Threats work better.
Load More Replies...
H R 11 months ago
Take a screenshot of dvery peenis you get, and send one back. Preferably a different one
Gozer LeGozerian 11 months ago
Exactly. They'll feel so disgusted and wouldn't understand why you would do such a horrible thing to them
Load More Replies...
Earthquake903 11 months ago
They never really grow out of it either (those that are inclined to do this). I'm 53 and get these surprisingly often when trying to make a connection. It's gross. I've sent a few pics of other (better) D pics and they got BIG mad! Lolololol
Broccoli 11 months ago
Say: What happened to the rest of it? or Why are you showing me a picture of a child’s penis? or Where is it? I can’t see it?
tl gmc 11 months ago
Or tell him you feel bad for what he'll go through for the next few years, but he should see a doctor asap.
Load More Replies... #12
Breaking Up Over Text Is The Worst
Khavrinen 11 months ago
Well, it gets tiring when you have to type that all out a couple of dozen times...
Neopet22 11 months ago
Too bad we don't have copy paste in this universe 😢
Load More Replies... 
With the internet failing us at the worst possible times, texting has remained a reliable lifeline. Whether it's confirming a meeting, sending an emergency “Help! No WiFi” message, or just sending a quick “What’s up?” to a friend, SMS remains one of the easiest ways to stay connected when all else fails.
#13
What A Sad Country We Live In For My 12 Year Old To Text Me This
Nikole 11 months ago
Illinois just passed “Karina’s Law”, which requires law enforcement to confiscate firearms within 96 hours when a judge revokes a person’s FOID card (firearm card… you actually need one here) due to an emergency restraining order. Gun nuts were saying that they’re worried it’ll be used to unduly restrict people from owning guns. DO YOU HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER BECAUSE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ASŚHOLES??
RedMarbles 11 months ago
Seems to be the only time they're concerned about innocent people being punished or losing any rights.
Load More Replies...
LizzieBoredom 11 months ago
If a child under the age of 18 takes a gun to school, arrest the parents. Nothing else is getting through to these GunNuts so let's keep trying this route.
pfeils wife 11 months ago
It worked in Michigan and I agree! "Jennifer and James Crumbley are serving 10 to 15 years in prison for involuntary manslaughter in the 2021 Oxford High School shooting. They are the first parents in the United States to be convicted for a mass school shooting involving their child. Their son, Ethan Crumbley, is serving a life sentence for murder and other crimes. He killed four students and wounded seven others."
Load More Replies...
Peeka_Mimi 10 months ago
Sad country where i got my 8yo granddaughter a phone in case 🧊 shows up at her school. We live in Aurora CO and are Chicanos. No we aren't being overrun by Venezuelan gangs. Yes we are legal. Fun fact: Colorado used to be Mexico. The border crossed us in 1848, but that doesn't matter to the Orange Putrescence and his brown shirts. I'm even an Army Veteran, but we are living in terror.
Beth Wheeler 11 months ago
If you have guns in the house you need to have a very heavy gunsafe with a dial combination that kids don't know. The one my husband bought years ago weighs 500 lbs. You also need to teach kids gun safety. Start out by explaining to them how dangerous they can be. How heavy they are, how to make sure they are truly UNLOADED. My husband taught our boys about guns and asked them a lot of questions before they were allowed to touch or shoot them when they were 13 or 14 each. They are 33 and 36 now and firm believers in their gun safety training. My youngest is a gunsmith now himself Their stepbrother has a4 yo and they laid into his stupid a*s because he had his loaded guns laying on a table because he didn't put them in his gun cabinet after going deer hunting 1 day. He's stupid but a better parent than the lazy a*s mother that refuses to discipline at all and gets mad when he does. You also shouldn't be able to buy a gun until you're 21 since the legal drinking age is 21.
a person who likes books 9 months ago
once my school had a lockdown because some idiots spray-painted some orbeez guns
Maria Evripidou 10 months ago
don;t care about rules. I would leave and call my parents on my way home.
Richienotsorich 11 months ago
I'm guessing the authorities have done their research and found that no one reacts badly within 4 days, yeah!
#14
Verbal Matricide
ILoveMySon 11 months ago
Parents make mistakes and, hopefully, Mom had a truthful conversation with him.
Megalodon Meg 11 months ago
Having consensual sex isn't a mistake, it's consensual sex. I had my eldest at 17 and I'd never in my life say that he nor the act that created him was a mistake. He's the light in my life. The only thing mom here needs to talk to him about is healthy safe sex practices and not s**t shaming people.
Load More Replies...
Bewitched One 11 months ago (edited)
Oof. I was going through a lot at 17 and before that. Like from 12 to about 22. If this kid thinks 3 people is a lot 😬 he’d be glad I wasn’t his mom lol I was with more guys between 15-18 than I have been from 18-30
Power puff scientist 11 months ago
maybe the issue was the unprotected sex that led to kids with 3 different dads?
Load More Replies...
Steïcy Gya 11 months ago
I dont think its the child place to come have this talk with the mother like this. Its okay to ask questions and have the talk. But this child is basically shaming his/her mum for having sex at 17 and for how many persons she had sex with. It was certainly not the brightest decision from her mum and dad and the other dads. But really not the kid's place to come talk like that.
ί𝔫ＣίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬 10 months ago
From a learning standpoint, I can understand why he's questioning the "do as I say, not as I do" aspect of sex education. His parent is the closest role model, and if he needs answers, he should be able to have a frank discussion.
Load More Replies... 
Chris the Bobcat 11 months ago
"Uh, huh huh huh. Beavis, your mom is a s**t." "Quit talking about my mom, Butt-head."
Earonn - 11 months ago
The replies are full of self-smug shytes who shame the mother without knowing anything about the situation here. She might have wanted teh child. She might have got raped. The father might have been in the picture but died. He might have run away. F**k all of you and your purity morals, writing this s**t with one hand while with the other hand you jerk off to your porn channels.
#15
17 Year Old Said She Was 23
Royal Stray 11 months ago
Report her profile and block her. Had girls in my middle school do this c**p too. They were like 14-15 and thought they were "mature enough" to be with older guys. They'd have tons of make up in their profile photos and pretend to be 18-19 and whenever they got busted (which'd be pretty quick) they'd get mad and act like the guy was the immature one, or pretend that it was fine because they only used the app to look for friends. It was annoying at the time, but in hindsight it's just kinda awful
bart simpson 11 months ago
You have sex with one, and it' s statutory rape if you're even only one year older than her.
Load More Replies... m6nbtfpx7q 11 months ago
ALL 17 year olds think they’re mature for their age. Surprise! They’re not.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 11 months ago
I consider myself 4 mentally so thats a bit of a sweeping statement
Load More Replies... Ace macbeth 11 months ago
Like bc u are a child? I was this girl and my parents encouraged dating older "men". I cringe so hard now and can tell ya it will mess her up later with all the so called adults who were ok with pedophilia
Mrs.C 11 months ago
My kid had a college roommate who was 17 her entire freshman year. The child's mom told her not to tell guys her age because, "They wouldn't want to date [her] if they knew." So she didn't. She hooked up with multiple guys that year unbeknownst to all of them.
Load More Replies...
Ace 11 months ago
Had that happen to me, except it was the morning after that she told me she was actually 16, not the 23 she and her friend had claimed when we met in the over-21s bar. I was 32. Perfectly legal and all in that country at that time, but she was on some sort of weird kick to screw as many older men as she could. Should I have asked for some proof?
Sergio Bicerra 11 months ago
Sadly, ID's can be fake. Wasn't there a case where a guy met with a minor in a pub, the girl was id by the bouncer and let in, they hit it off and then the guy convicted cause she wasn't 21 as she claimed? Gonna look into t.
Load More Replies...
Novlette Williams 11 months ago
Good for him! Also please keep in mind a lot of men being accused of being predators are actually the victims of precocious teens.
weatherwitch 11 months ago
Giving out an age older than you actually are is incredibly immature 🤦🏻♀️
But while texting is still going strong in many places, some countries are seeing a decline. Brits, for instance, sent around 40.86 billion texts in 2021, which might sound like a lot, but it’s actually a drop from previous years.
By 2022, that number had shrunk even further to 36.44 billion texts—suggesting that even the UK might be leaning more towards instant messaging apps instead.
#16
Woke Up To This Text From My Uncle
Boredest Panda 11 months ago
And absolutely no follow up for an HOUR from Uncle Ronnie? That being said, he sounds like a pretty cool uncle. He’s just giving me those good vibes.
Leekier 10 months ago
In situations where I knew I could breakdown I text instead of talking; also it means you’re not interrupting more important things that need dealing with in a crisis. On the other hand I don’t think I’ve ever contacted the wrong person. I did used to get texts asking for a lift to church at 23:30 every Christmas Eve from an acquaintance whose in-law shared my first name; she never saved last names🤦🏼♀️
Load More Replies... 
michael Chock 11 months ago
And that's how you find out your best friend doesn't feel the same about you.
#17
Surprised My Girlfriend With Baked Goods And Flowers Before She Went To Work, And Her Co-Workers Ate Them All
Patricia Steward 11 months ago
You gotta keep one for yourself before you put them out for consumption.
David 11 months ago
Why would you set them out to share if you didn't want them shared? If someone shared treats at my old work we didn't think, "Oh but I bet she didn't eat a single one and wants us to save six of these for her." Cuz you assume the person sharing already set aside any they wanted to keep.
Earthquake903 11 months ago
Wow. I'd go straight to their HR or equivalent and complain until I got fully reimbursed and a heartfelt apology to the intended recipient.
#18
Man I’m Actually Pissed. My Mother Got Rid Of My First Pet Without Warning Me
Nadira Abdulla 11 months ago
Wow, there should be a special place in hell reserved for this person
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
My mother did this to me with three of my pets when I was still a single-digit-aged child, and I'm turning 43 this month and I definitely haven't forgiven her. So, yep, I feel that XD
Load More Replies...
farbenzirkel 11 months ago
I got a question: "...my first pet..." and after a week ("last week"), she gets curious, where he is? She wasn't THAT involved it seems to me...
PFD 11 months ago
Yeah. "Do you know where my dog is? I haven't seen him for a week. Is he still at the grooming parlour? Grooming takes a week, right?" doesn't sound like someone who should be owning a dog. It sounds like they got the dog & dumped it on mum to take care of. Though maybe there's context.
Load More Replies...
ॐBoyGanesh 11 months ago
I’d make that “oh well” come back and haunt her for the rest of her life.
China, on the other hand, still dominates the texting game. In 2022, a whopping 1.295 trillion text messages were sent across the country—that’s about 3.5 billion per day!
Meanwhile, in Germany, texting seems to be fading into the background, with just 5.8 billion texts sent that same year, marking its lowest numbers yet.
#19
Every Software Engineer Has Experience This
Earthquake903 11 months ago
Exactly, why else would anyone want to be a software engineer?
Load More Replies... Fat Harry (Oi / You) 11 months ago
I'm a programmer, but people think that means I know how to fix their printer or tell them why their router isn't working. Sure, I *might* be able to do those things, but it's because I've been working with computers a long time, not because of what I do for a living. It's like asking the doctor what's wrong with your tooth. He might know the answer from experience, but it's not his field of expertise.
June 11 months ago
I am too, and yes except it is not necessarily a matter of years of experience, for me it's a lot of logic and common sense, that improved since I'm a programmer but existed already in my nerdy reality 🙃 And nowadays I'm picky with people I'm actually helping : my blind lovely neighboor struggles with her router / tv ? Sure I'm figuring things out. My nightmare of a grandmother calls me during work hours due to her narcissist lack of common sense? I'm telling her that my hour rate is too expensive for her (it's not, but she would hire a professionnal, so it's a win as she won't acknowledge that I've got a REAL job and keeps disrespecting me). I know how quick sh!t can hit the fan and end up in neverending debugging, so I'm carefull 🙃
Load More Replies... Patricia Steward 11 months ago
Get her number, call her, and tell her what he asked you to do.
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
No, but if you give me her number, I can warn her to block you on everything else.
Joshua Russell 11 months ago
Missed opportunity to tell this weirdo he needs to accept the block and move on like a real man.
Rali Meyer 11 months ago
Done, I unblocked your number. Girl still doesn't read your text? Oh, that's bad.
#20
This Guy Just Added Me On Snap From A Dating Site💀 Like Ok???
Data1001 11 months ago
Looks like someone who took a course from a self-proclaimed 'pickup artist' and is trying his hand at "negging". In other words, typical incel, lol.
David Morgan 11 months ago
I always found the 'involuntarily' part of the name confusing - it seems so obvious WHY most of them are celibate, it's that they treat other people like something they trod in by accident. No, there is no grand conspracy to keep you from being happy, you're just an a*****e and unwilling to change.
Load More Replies...
SheamusFanFrom1987 11 months ago
Personally, I find girls with bangs the hottest, but that's just my personal opinion. You do you, sisters. Just like me and my 5 o'clock shadow which majority of the ladies in my office have bugged me to shave (Only if I feel like it) XP Oh, I'm pretty sure she knows what she's missing, fella. And she is purposely missing out -_-"
Kat Alison 11 months ago
If this is what dating is like now….I give it maybe 100 more years until the human species goes extinct.
#21
This Is A Normal Response Or I’m Tripping?
Ellie Ahmed 11 months ago
“I won’t force you into a relationship”, says white literally one minute after demanding that green go on a date with them against their will. Dude.
Maartje 11 months ago
exactly- sorry I said the same thing and then I read yours.
Load More Replies...
Kise Miarse 11 months ago
An example of the importance of assertiveness. "Can we cancel?" Should have been "I've decided to cancel." Controlling people latch right on to the difference and see an easy target.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 11 months ago
"I won't force you into a relationship, just the first date" Not that he's the controlling type...
Jessica Tolar 11 months ago
That's when I come back with "yeah...That's a big no from me Dawgs. Have a good one tho" lol
While some places still rely on SMS, others have moved on to apps like WhatsApp, Telegram, and Messenger. Let’s be real—when was the last time you actually sent a regular text instead of a DM? In many parts of the world, texting is starting to feel a bit… old school.
#22
My Wedding Is In 2 Days…. This Is The Text I Wake Up To From My Mother
Royal Stray 11 months ago
She's entitled and thinks that since she's not the one having to deal with it OP should just solve the problem. I bet you she'd throw a tantrum if it was the other way around
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 11 months ago
"Sure, Mom. They can have your and Dad's seats. There's a Wendy's down the street from the reception where you two can go. Bon Appetit!"
Kayla West 11 months ago
Honestly feel like the person should have just stuck to their guns. Mom would have probably brought them anyway even with the no, but allowing this behavior to go on could allow further behavior like this down the road and then a future reddit post about how 'My mother doesn't respect my boundaries. What do I do?'
#23
I'm *trying* To Date And I Encounter This Constantly. Why Is It Such A Big Deal That I Choose Not To Drink Alcohol??
Isabel Galvez 11 months ago
I don't drink either and I still can go to places and meet people.
Yayheterogeneity 11 months ago
Exactly. Nothing wrong with my feet, I always say...
Load More Replies...
char 11 months ago
pretty red flag that this guy can't think of any first date ideas that aren't drinking
CP 11 months ago
The biggest red flag is not being able to comprehend there are people that don't drink and it isn't weird at all to just have water.
Load More Replies...
Remi (He/Him) 11 months ago
The only reason I can think to get so weird about it exactly
Load More Replies...
Brittania Kelli 11 months ago
Another person here who doesn't drink, it's really not that strange a concept. In fact I find it alarming when it's such a big deal to person.
Damned_Cat 11 months ago
"That's weird", "you're weird". Are these two even old enough to be dating, much less drinking?
bart simpson 11 months ago
If in Canada, they were already drinking when they were that young.
Load More Replies... Fat Harry (Oi / You) 11 months ago
What's wrong with going somewhere and getting a mocktail? Or just a fancy smoothie or something? My partner's not a big drinker; I like a pint with a meal. We don't exactly struggle to find places to go!
~nope~ 11 months ago
Literally was gonna ask that 😭 has this man never heard of soda??
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 11 months ago
Me either, can't stand the taste or smell of any of it.
Load More Replies... Royal Stray 11 months ago
I do drink, but I wouldn't be this weirded out if someone doesn't. As long as they don't care if I do
#24
I’m A Teacher. My Student Told Me Her Grandma Died
Kari Panda 11 months ago
And this is why schools/universities often insist on death certificates if you‘re missing important exams due to a death in the family.
Bewitched One 11 months ago
Most, in my experience, request a copy of the obituary
Load More Replies...
Chihuahua Mama 11 months ago
I had a professor in university who, after talking to other professors, realized a student had had 7 grandmas die....
Johnny McFearless 11 months ago
If grandmas were polyamorous lesbians...?
Load More Replies... PFD 11 months ago (edited)
"Isn't this the fourth time 'her grandmother has died' this year?" "Yes, poor child. Such a tragic time for her family."
BrunoVI 11 months ago (edited)
From M*A*S*H, Col. Henry Blake to Cpl. Max Klinger (who even pretended to be transgendered in order to get a discharge from the Army during the Korean War): "Father dying, right? ... Father dying last year. Mother dying last year. Mother AND father dying. Mother, father, and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here's an oldie but a goodie: Half of the family dying, other half pregnant."
Load More Replies... 
howdylee 11 months ago
My grandma died on the first day of my college's spring break. Funeral happened a few days later, still on my break. But the funeral was where she lived... in Florida. So I had to suddenly fly to Florida during Spring Break... wasn't cheap and because it was last minute I couldn't get a return flight until a Tuesday, after classes got back in session. Even to me it looked suspicious! But the professors I had for the missed classes believed me and no one asked for proof.
That being said, businesses still love SMS marketing. Gen X leads the way in receiving promotional texts, with 49% of marketers targeting them. Millennials come in close at 47%, while Gen Z isn’t too far behind at 44%.
And yes, even boomers get in on the action, with 39% of marketing texts landing in their inboxes.
#25
Friends Told Me To Post This On Reddit
Michael Largey 11 months ago
As Groucho Marx never sang "Chlamydia, chlamydia, oh don't get chlamydia ..."
#26
My Landlord Entered My Apartment Without Notice (Illegal) To Tell Me To Clean My Lint Trap
Kristin 11 months ago
Why do landlords do this c**p?!!! There was an incident here in colorado where i live and a couple had a feeling the landlord was up to something so they decided to install cameras in the residence. Come to find out the landlord was using their apartment to have S** and then the worst part was them using her wedding dress to "clean up" if you catch my drift. Then they also found cameras in the bathroom!!!!
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Ok, aside from landlord having a valid concern, he has broken the lease agreement and they can move out without notice. I would find a place to live and not pay that final month's rent and put it towards a deposit on the next place instead. Let him go to small claims, there is evidence of breaking not only the lease but the law here too.
V 11 months ago
Entering a rental property without appropriate notice would be an automatic $2500 fine for the landlord here.
Load More Replies... Neopet22 11 months ago
Not really a landlord but I hate that in my apartment building, maintenance and the building caretaker technically have a right to come inside my apartment even if I'm not there and they need to do something. Like I have cats at home,what if they come in and one runs out? Who will be responsible? I used to work overnights and sleep during the day,sometimes the maintenance guy didn't knock loud enough and once they entered my apartment to drop off a small AC unit to install later. I was asleep and almost s**t myself when I heard someone inside.
patricia patricia 8 months ago (edited)
I would charge anybody who enters my house with trespassing if they crossed the door uninvited or when I'm not there. There's no such thing as "technically have the right", whatever they say. The police cannot enter your home without a search warrant but a perfect stranger can come and go whenever they feel like? No f*****g way.
Load More Replies...
Littlemiss 11 months ago
Like my old landlord who tried to put the house on the market and demanded I let a real estate agent take prospective clients through my home without me present. When I said no, she told me to give my keys to the brand new neighbors who moved in a week before because "They're trustworthy, I rented to them". I kindly told her F OFF.
Leekier 10 months ago
When we were looking for a new home we viewed one which turned out to be tenanted. It was summer so the guys were sunning themselves in the garden while we were there. They seemed ok about it but I felt very uncomfortable; it really wasn’t suitable because it turned out to be on a steep hill but even if it had been perfect I don’t think we’d have made an offer. I know there’s an argument that if we didn’t buy it someone else would or the landlord could evict them to sell it but I still wouldn’t want to be the one responsible for someone loosing their home
Load More Replies... Boredest Panda 11 months ago
Landlord: “You can’t just steal the June rent money, I’m still your landlord, it’s illegal” “Please don’t argue.”
Cloud Ryn 1 month ago
Screenshot ,save,contact lawyer, contact cops have a hole arrested for tressspassing . Tenants have rights always remember to get a copy whatever your signing before u get yourself a apartment/ house. That way u know exactly what you're landlord can do and not do . And even then there are laws depending on your state/ country that can change depending on where you live . Just remember and landlords word isn't law always do your research so u know your rights. I know it sounds corny but i believe knowledge is power. Stay safe out there everyone 😃
Christine Stewart 10 months ago
Lint is very flammable, maybe they shouldn't have entered your apartment without telling you- but they have every right to tell you to clean the lint trap and prevent a fire!
patricia patricia 8 months ago
They don't have the right to enter the apartment. Full stop. No excuses or reasons.
Load More Replies... #27
How Not To Sell A Car
John Dilligaf 11 months ago
don't care about *your* life story. Am very interested in the *car's* life story
Kayla West 11 months ago
This would turn me off buying it. To me this is some low-key cagey behavior from the seller. Even if they are legit and the car is in perfect condition this is not the way to interact with your potential buyers. These are absolutely valid questions.
tl gmc 11 months ago
I asked on FB if they can drive it to a mechanic nearby for me to pay to get it checked and they lady stopped messaging. Tells a lot about the car.
Deborah 11 months ago
My 26 year old car has 32K. I got it shortly before my spine got too bad to do most of the activities I loved - riding and competing my horses - and then I had spine surgery, and moved somewhere where everything I need is 5 miles or less from my house. Good enough explanation? It's prepared for when things get to the stage I am no longer able to drive. There are reasons for old car/low mileage, and I do think it's a very valid question.
Joshua Russell 11 months ago
Completely reasonable questions, but they should be asked by talking on the phone or in person, because that's a lot of slow typing to ask someone to do, and the buyer should be asking lots of questions like that. Any seller who won't answer questions like that is a red flag.
Melinda Flick 11 months ago
I want to know there's nothing terribly wrong with the car, OR I want to know what IS wrong with the car, so I know what I'm getting into. I'm not buying a 25 year old pig in a poke....
But out of the billions of texts sent worldwide every single day, some are bound to be absolute gems of chaos, confusion, and pure comedy—just like these. Which of these weird, awkward, or downright baffling texts made you laugh the most? Let us know!
#28
My Bfs Creepy Dad
Kari Panda 11 months ago
And to the dad‘s wife, and maybe also to her own parents. This is terrifying.
Load More Replies...
USMC5815 11 months ago
My father pulled some sh*t just like this with my wife....but in person. Haven't spoken to him in years.
Bewitched One 11 months ago (edited)
My son and I were staying with his dads dad after we had just moved back to Ohio from California (his dad was in another relationship but I had no family to help me out and they both knew that 🤷🏼♀️). He had recently split up with his long time wife but she was still living there cause he couldn’t get her to leave. Well, he said to me one day, while I was playing with his just barely over one year old grandson, and I quote “I’d love to lick your pussy”. Bro? Really? I left that week to stay with ex’s great grandma on moms side for a bit. Dude is dating a girl I went to school with, who was in my brothers grade, and two years older than me. Which happened to be the same age his first child, my sons father, was. He has to be 53-54 now and she’s about 32-33. They got together not long after I moved out. Couple years if that. That son is turning 13 in about 4 months. So he was 40s and she was very early 20s when they got together. IF they’re even still together, idk lol
#29
My Friend Does This Sometimes
Boredest Panda 11 months ago
He wants to know what you need it for? Well now *I* want to know what you need it for! Actually, on second thought no I probably don’t.
Glen Ellyn 11 months ago
Ridiculous request. Repaying a debt and then immediately asking for it back?? Sheesh. 🙄
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
This is like our alcoholic friend asking for money for food then getting arsey when we asked what pizza he wanted. Didn't want pizza, just money. Shut that down.
#30
So This Just Happened
PhaseWitFact 11 months ago
TBF Amazon quickly resolved an issue for me over chat a few hours ago. So I expect better bc I always get better from them.
Load More Replies... June 11 months ago
You're correct but you get downvoted. The phrasing, maybe? Like, you don't get to tell me what to do, you're not my cat 🤷♀️
Load More Replies...
bart simpson 11 months ago
Answer to the comment above the #25. The marketing texts in baby boomers' boxes just end up unread and eventually dumped with yesterday's unread emails.
#31
Mom Knows I’m Engaged And Living With My Fiancé
#32
Roommate Refuses To Take Any Less Than 1 Hour + In The Shower With 5 Of Us Living Here
Regina Holt 11 months ago
I'd be flushing the toilet repeatedly, or use the kitchen sink. Screw with the water temperature.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 11 months ago
I'd be getting up just a few minutes before them and then taking an hour for my shower. I'm a morning person, I can definitely beat them on the getting up early stakes.
Load More Replies...
Charles McChristy 11 months ago
There's usually a shutoff valve on the water heater, if you didn't know.
Kathleen Pearlman 11 months ago
Turn off the water to the shower, or the whole house, if applicable. That would teach them a lesson, I hope. All soaped up and nowhere to go.
#33
Ex Boyfriend Randomly Dm’ing Me
ColdSteelRonin 11 months ago
“I’d rather be in Philadelphia” is derived from a fictional epitaph that locally-born entertainer W.C. Fields (1880-1946) proposed for himself in Vanity Fair magazine in 1925: “Here lies W.C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.” By implying that Philadelphia would be slightly preferable to the grave, the joke tapped a vein of critical commentary about the city in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries.
#34
My Aunt Losing Her Mind Over The Name Of My Soon To Be Born Daughter Lilith
Bewitched One 11 months ago
Just a bit. I considered the name Mazikeen when pregnant if we were having a girl. He turned out to be another boy though. Kinda thankful lol
Load More Replies...
Nira Amana 11 months ago
She 'heard many exorcists'??? Where does she live, horror movie set? Doubt one just casually meat an exorcist every few weeks to know 'many'
BeesEelsAndPups 11 months ago
We hang out at a bar called The Blue Oyster on 47th and Lex.
Load More Replies...
Kayci Styles 11 months ago
It’s not actually in the Bible. There is extra-biblical texts that refer to her, so the aunt is extra cookie.
meeeeeeeeeeee 11 months ago
I love how they judge a name but priests are fine...a priest...11% of them that we know of are child molesters.
Dragons Exist 11 months ago
At least she specified "talk to a good priest", wouldn't want her talking to some priest in an alley
Load More Replies... Kathleen Pearlman 11 months ago
Where did she get the idea that Lilith is a demon name? Not from the Bible, so what's her problem?
Nicole Weymann 11 months ago
I just looked her up on Wiki and was surprised at the different takes in English and German. (E."Lilith [...]is a feminine figure in Mesopotamian and Jewish mythology, theorized to be the first wife of Adam and a primordial she-demon. Lilith is cited as having been "banished" from the Garden of Eden for not complying with and obeying Adam."// G: Lilith is an ancient oriental female demon of sumerian origin.Similar to the later akkadian perception and her afterlife in late antiquity there is some negative connotation connected to her. Her name is used as a forename in several languages" (my own translation) The German article explains how she was pictured in various cultures, while the English one focuses a lot more heavily on Hebrew/Jewish sources and evaluations.
Load More Replies...
GalPalAl 11 months ago
I would love for someone to prove how religion does any of these things irl to people as punishment for not following the doctrine of a crazy person. If you believe that, you probably believe the lies and rhetoric of criminal elect Cheeto Mussolini too. It's times like this that I wish we had an alternate planet to inhabit and disassociate with these kind of nutjobs.
Andi 11 months ago
Lilith was Adams firsts wife? kicked out for being disobedient .... she always sounded go to me!
bart simpson 11 months ago
She disobeyed the serpent and saw right through his scheme, told Adam about the trap, which God didn't like, and was thus kicked out of Eden. Don't worry for her, she landed in another Paradise and still lives there to this day.
Load More Replies... #35
Announced To My Entire Family That I Am Severing All Ties With Them And This Was My Brothers Response
Bewitched One 11 months ago
From the OPs previous post history, I’m not sure they meant anything they said. As one comment states “the poster thinks someone is watching them through the walls of their apartment but couldn’t see a counselor long enough to be diagnosed as schizophrenic. Yea, I’d imagine that’d be tough to live with”. In other words, family either saw this coming or poster didn’t mean it. Or brother is just an a*s. Maybe all three 🤷🏼♀️
Nahkaparturi X 11 months ago
"It is with heavy heart" ... this sort of melodrama seems a bit excessive too. Just cut all ties and if they ask where you are, tell them. This is like the 3 year old kid announcing they're running away from the front door.
CP 11 months ago
Based on that snippet we have no idea who is the injured party.
Load More Replies... #36
Boss Wants Me To “Make Up” Work Day I’m Missing Because Im Flying Back From A Work Trip
Rali Meyer 11 months ago
"I'm thinking about getting two days off because this work trip included my weekend"
Ashtophet’sRevenge 11 months ago
I don’t travel for work often (it stresses me out) but when I do, I never, ever work on the plane. It’s a nice little extra time to myself…
Hidalgo 11 months ago
Was a consultant and expectation was that we traveled on personal time. It sucked
#37
My Parents Discussing Who Should Cancel Dinner With Me, Not Realizing I’m On The Thread. Riveting
marcelo D. 11 months ago
you only offer a new date when you want to see the person, and for that combo is obvious that's not the case
Load More Replies...
Mason Kronol 11 months ago
Reading the original post the mom had Covid. Context matters. I hate rage bait. I miss bored panda being about “new” pics and memes. Not things flushed out of Twitter or Reddit 7 years later.
char 11 months ago (edited)
but finish taking screenshots and laughing first
Load More Replies... #38
My Husband, Who Is Not Good With Emotional Topics, Broke The News Of My Beloved Cat Being Put To Sleep Like This
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
tbf, I hate the term rainbow bridge so this made me smile a bit. But I have dark humour, so
ColdSteelRonin 11 months ago
Besides the fact that the rainbow bridge connects Midgard to Asgard and not pet heaven
Load More Replies... 
HeavyMetalHeart 11 months ago
Something may have happened suddenly while she was out of town.
Load More Replies... BigTimeAussie 11 months ago
That's like saying when you die you go to the big toilet in the sky like what 💀 who would want that
ColdSteelRonin 11 months ago
Have you never seen Ricks (of Rick and Morty) toilet? I could spend eternity there. Ricks-Poop...Planet.jpg 
Wang Zhuang 11 months ago
Well...she did say that he's not good with emotional topics, so his response is probably not very surprising? I don't know
#39
Forget Getting To Know Each Other, He Wants To Talk About 'Perfect Mixed Babies' First
kansasmagic 11 months ago
Can you imagine? Women used to have to go out in public to get harassed like this. This is much more convenient.
Load More Replies...
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 11 months ago
Aaron, Aiden, or Austin I think. Name and shame douches like this.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 11 months ago
Really? On the bright side, at least no one wasted anyone's time...
#40
A Text From My Wife While She Is At Work
Bewitched One 11 months ago
Update from OOP “ Her mother got a email about a warrant for her arrest (it was a scam) but my wife and MIL believed it.”
john doe 11 months ago
Hahaha my ex GF and her mother fell for that one too, I had to call the local police station and have them tell them it was a scam before they calmed down even a little bit.
Load More Replies... 
Mike F 11 months ago
Apparently it was some dumbass scam email the wife's mother received.
Load More Replies... #41
My House Burned Down Two Months Ago, And I'm In A Fight With The Insurance Company. My Neighbour Has Concerns
Rali Meyer 11 months ago
My plan is to burn your house down, neighbor. Then it blends in again with mine.
Fire Singer 11 months ago
OH S**T! This might legit be my grandpa! He's a jerk like that. His neighbors house burned down and he had the nerve to go ask the neighbor when he was going to rebuild because he was "bringing down the property value." I don't talk to grandpa a whole lot...
#42
The End Of A 3 Year Relationship
char 11 months ago
i'm a picky eater, and it freaking sucks! I WISH I could eat anything served to me or order anything off a menu, but the fact is that the only choice i'm presented with is between sticking to things I like or forcing myself to suffer and gag down something my body despises for no reason. I'm not trying to be a b***h about it, I just would like eating to be a pleasurable experience for me
Deborah 11 months ago
This is why I always eat alone. Also allergies and autism-related issues.
Load More Replies... June 11 months ago
I am not really a picky eater : I'm autistic, people pleaser with RSD and forced myself to eat some of my ARFID foods my whole life, and it sucks big time. I'm not really a picky eater but at the restaurant there are often just one or two dishes I can actually eat. Just let people be, seriously. Glad I grew out of some ARFID foods but it was definitely NOT by forcing them.
#43
Asked A Local Bar Owner If They Were Hiring
David Morgan 11 months ago
No, they have standards and some employee protections.
Load More Replies... 
#44
Sold Someone Chairs Off Of Facebook Marketplace And He Text Me This Hours Later
Jenny Barton 11 months ago
...'he said, sadly, while gently shaking his head.'
Load More Replies... Bored Retsuko 11 months ago (edited)
F off!!!!!!!! Seriously, women can't even sell f*ing chairs without being objectified by some creep
Rali Meyer 11 months ago
Seller could have replied: "Sorry, you had your chance hours ago" - lol
#45
I Knew “Free Kittens” Was Too Good To Be True
Anonymous 11 months ago (edited)
Who's green? I only see black and blue bubbles
Load More Replies...
ColdSteelRonin 11 months ago
Almost all cats are semi feral in the regard that if abandoned or lost etc. they can fend for themselves independently.
#46
Blocked
Vic 11 months ago
Actually it does make sense. In fact it's efficient that the trash takes itself out..
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Is that love language a series of grunts for 45 seconds and then one longer groan before the show ends?
m6nbtfpx7q 11 months ago (edited)
The IQ on this one is nonexistent. The bar is so low you could roll over it.
char 11 months ago
that's, um, really not how those work. physical touch is my second love language, which just means that receiving physical affection from those I care about (hugs, cuddles, playful shoves, just general touching) feels soothing and makes me feel loved. not whatever tf you're talking about. it's all pseudoscience anyhow, good for understanding yourself and others but with no real scientific backing. by telling me this, you ARE helping me to understand you bc I know understand that you're a sleazy douche
SheamusFanFrom1987 11 months ago (edited)
Looks like someone is about to get the love language tonight, self love involving the hand being the only language on the menu -_-"
Orange Panda 11 months ago
Oh my gosh, I'm so glad that wasn't a thing when I was younger. Hahaha!
#47
I Can’t Do Dating Anymore, My Heart Hurts Too Much
Sparky4 11 months ago
I think the texts are on the same day but only 1.5 hours apart. To me this is about the short time frame. How could he accept the invite then go on a "so amazing date" with someone else AND be done with it in less than 90 minutes?
Load More Replies... Bewitched One 11 months ago
Atleast he was honest and told her as soon as he knew he didn’t want to see anyone else 🤷🏼♀️
FreeDragon 11 months ago (edited)
For everyone that thinks Black is a "he": I checked the original reddit thread and Black is a woman. From the original OP: "Yeah, I’m really not upset at her at all, I appreciate her honesty. It just sucked because we had been talking about this date for a week and she told me she couldn’t go Monday night (the night this happened), but she didn’t say why. So I felt kinda blindsided when she said this 2 hours after."
June 11 months ago
Reminds me of something : talking with this guy for weeks (1.5 months) and we fail at meeting each other due to work mostly. At some point, we have our first date planned !! The day D morning he texts me that he had a date the previous evening so he cancels with me. I was a little bit salty because we basically talked daily for 6/7 weeks and idk I have a need for closure and I thought it was not fair that we didn't even meet. Nvm. 1 month later he pops in my dms again 😅 I laughed 😂
afia kooma 11 months ago (edited)
This is just normal life, someone being fair and up front. And regretting cutting ties too soon when their first date turns out to be a loon 😅
#48
My Mom’s Reaction To Me Letting My Daughter Get A Haircut
#49
My Friend Matched With This Guy On A Dating App
ॐBoyGanesh 11 months ago
You set your age range, so he did this specifically to insult people.
Data1001 11 months ago
Better yet, make a voodoo doll of him and stick many pins in it. Might not work, but will probably make you feel a bit better. ;-)
Load More Replies...
GalPalAl 11 months ago
I wish I had a nickel for every person I have ever heard say something so insensitive and insulting because I would have more money than Elon Musk. The guy on the dating app is delusional that anyone would be interested in seeing him naked (probably has a micropenis) or giving this POS the time of day. Gross and go to hell turdwaffle.
#50
Married Physician I Met At The Gym Asked Me Out
kansasmagic 11 months ago
Fair question, but she might have found out after the initial exchange. I wouldn't know, but my assumption is that guys like this don't lead with "Just so you know, I'm married and have kids, but..."
Load More Replies...
#51
Rejection After Date
Ace macbeth 11 months ago
Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with this one.
Load More Replies... Boredest Panda 11 months ago
This is actually perfectly respectful on both sides, don’t get how it’s cringy or awkward. If they’re not feeling it they’re not feeling it 🤷♀️
Westend Revolver 11 months ago
Exactly! I would be happy getting that instead of the ghosting I normally get 😭
Load More Replies... person (i think) 11 months ago
This is “confusing” only in that it shouldn’t be on this list? This seems like respectful communication on both sides.
EmJay 11 months ago
For everyone saying "nothing wrong with it" the reason its on this list is because the name is texts that will ruin someones day, if having enjoyed a date and wanted to go on another one you would want the other person to agree. It would make you feel a bit sad or bad that they didn't want to.
afia kooma 11 months ago
Does not even almost belong here. Only incels and or entiteled people would see something wrong with this exchange..
SheamusFanFrom1987 11 months ago
Wish I could've gotten this at least once rather than getting ghosted by Tinder or Bumble matches after date #1. Story of my life and why I'm off both sites now T_T
#52
This Guy That Graduated From School Before I Have Asked For My Number On Instagram And Asked How His Life Has Been. Can’t Tell If He’s Trolling Or Not
#53
Why Are Men Like This??
ॐBoyGanesh 11 months ago
I agree with the commenters on Reddit that either his gf or wife sent her the last reply.
Rali Meyer 11 months ago
Who is the man? I get this from girls all the time: "we should really meet again soon", but never do
#54
My Girlfriend Sent Me This, I Told Her To Give It A Week Or So… What Do I Do?
Royal Stray 11 months ago
Depends if this is a "I need some personal time/space" break or a "Can we take a break in the relationship" break. Because the first one can be reasonable if their social battery is dead, but the second is just a breakup.
SlightlyTarnished 11 months ago
Why can't people just say "it's over"? Don't try to ease things down with "small break" bs or "idk what's wrong with me".
#55
Facepalm Guys
#56
The Most Insane Text I’ve Received
ॐBoyGanesh 11 months ago
With or without the shell? That’s my first thought. Also, what about a little shell if it was a bad crack? You know, the kind you flight the albumen with a finger or fork to try to ease up the side of the bowl? Or, in this case, buttcheek? It’s a seriously unique kink and I have so many questions.
ElfVibratorGlitter 11 months ago
Haha, this is so unhinged I just texted it to my partner. I cannot wait to see the reaction when he reads this....
SheamusFanFrom1987 11 months ago (edited)
And you eggs-pect me to eat my sunny side up that I just made after reading this...? XP
#57
My Ex From Nearly A Decade Ago
afia kooma 11 months ago
No matter how big or small it is, its just a tiny piece of flesh compared to the brain and heart, wich are the important sexual organs.
BeesEelsAndPups 11 months ago
When I read "sexual organs" my brain started playing the song "Sexual Healing" but with a church organ. It kinda slaps
Load More Replies... Rali Meyer 11 months ago
"I was just being nice" Like the span between my thumb and index finger is 9"
#58
Made An Enemy On My First Day Of Work
David Morgan 11 months ago
You didn't make an enemy, an enemy made you. This kind of 'unofficial rules' petty b******t is why so many people wanted to work from home.
ॐBoyGanesh 11 months ago
Seniority isn’t typically legal. It’s definitely not when it’s arbitrary and violates someone’s guaranteed right to a break within a certain time period.
Michael Largey 11 months ago
"My work schedule is management privilege. Tell them you're overruling them, and then we'll see."
Orange Panda 11 months ago
I'm not clear on why they didn't ask when their lunch break is when they started.
#59
My Tacky Alcoholic Coworker Asking Me To Pay Her Bar Tab At 1am.... I Don't Drink Myself So Why Would I Pay For Her Bar Tab?
#60
I Just Want My Paycheck
#61
I Texted My Doctor About My Foot Pain And This Was His Only Response
S Bow 11 months ago
I wouldn't be at all surprised, when I was dealing with my parents estate the lawyer billed me for text messages, even some that were only a couple words, and he was a family friend. Frankly I'm surprised he didn't try to charge me for the time he spent thinking about our next step. 🙄
Load More Replies... 
#62
POV: You’re Happily Married And Message Your Friend Who Recently Got A Girlfriend
DeeDee M 11 months ago
This recently happened to me. It was a male friend from high school. His wife was never friendly, but i figured everything was fine. Wrong! I sent him a text saying hi, how are you? Blocked number, blocked on the 'gram. No explanation. At least this guy was honest and kind.
#63
I Hate It When People Come Into My Dms Begging For Money
#64
Was Planning On Going To A Concert, Got Replaced An Hour Before It Started
Rali Meyer 11 months ago
I once got a date cancelled 10 minutes before. I stood already outside. Then it also started to rain...
#65
Proud Of Myself
#66
These Texts My Little Sister Received From Her Grandma
Kalikima 11 months ago
Reminds me of my grandma. My husband and I had plans to go camping, and my grandma calls me the night before to tell me that her and grandpa would be in town in 2 days! We lived 1500 miles apart, and apparently they'd planned for weeks to drive thru and visit us, but couldn't be bothered to tell us, just expected us to be happy to drop all plans with no problem. She was livid when I wouldn't, and we got into a big fight. She wouldn't take my calls, and I got mad enough to write her a letter, where I kinda went off on her. She never forgave me. For 20 years she held onto that letter, and whenever I tried to reach out, she would read the letter to me. Even after dementia kicked in, she still had that damn letter, and wouldn't see me. She died holding on to one moment in time, one argument, for over 20 years.
StumblingThroughLife 11 months ago (edited)
MY sister from HER grandma..... ??? - Edit. Clarification: thanks BoyGanesh.
#67
I Did Not Respond
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Reminds me of my ex, who once told me (literally moments after I had my 19-year-old cat euthanized in my arms) "You knew she was dying, why are you still crying?"
#68
GF Of The Guy Whos Been Harassing Me For A Year Just Sent Me A Lovely Text
Petro Roos 11 months ago
No, she's not. Can't be! But clearly he's an a$$h0le
Load More Replies...
ॐBoyGanesh 11 months ago
There’s 4 pictures and an entire story to this one, so you gotta click thru the link below the image.
#69
Guy From A Dating App That I Just Met
#70
When People You Match With Have The Conversation Skills Of A Pet Rock
Jessica Tolar 11 months ago
I do 3 of these questions. If you don't volunteer any additional info or ask me a question, I'm done. By that point, it's an interview and not a convo
#71
Every Time I Make A Plan With Friends
Rali Meyer 11 months ago
"Friend" didn't get back soon as was promised. It was already 11:17 next day when Arcade girl followed up. Not her friend, I guess
#72
The Best Part Is He Sent Me This At 8:30 Am
#73
An Actual Text Conversation Between My My Roommate And Me After She Woke Me Up At 4am
Fire Singer 11 months ago
Yeah but not at 4am. At that time you should be sobbing silently into your pillows. ;)
Load More Replies... #74
Invited My GF To A Cook Out To Meet My Family... This Happens Pretty Much Every Time We Make Plans
#75
My Date Cancelled 2 Hrs Before We Were Supposed To Meet
David Jeffery 11 months ago
This doesn't seem that bad; though it doesn't appear that a head's up was forthcoming
marcelo D. 11 months ago
he cancelled 2 hours before, and only cause she asked.
Load More Replies... Tobias Reaper 11 months ago
i had a date that cancelled and forgot to tell me and i only told me when i arrived at the place we were supposed to meet and then only told me once i texted her.
Lara Verne 11 months ago
So they're not feeling well. It can happen, you wouldn't go either. This is not rudeness.
#76
Why I’d Rather Be Single
#77
My Ex Wife Texting Me Asking For Money Because She’s Too Lazy To Get A Job
Robert Beveridge 11 months ago
I'd like to start cooking with caviar and foie Gras like they do on Iron Chef, too, but I ain't gonna ask my ex for the money
David Morgan 11 months ago
Maybe they were all previous messages like that one.
Load More Replies... #78
My Friend After 3 Months Of Totally Ignoring Me Said This
Susie Elle 11 months ago
As someone with suspected ADHD, I've been told so many times I'm 'too loud' or 'too energetic', it sucks. I mean, especially because people feel the need to just shove it in my face at random moments. Imagine me saying 'you've the enthusiasm of a saucer, but ok'.
BookFanatic 11 months ago
My ex used to call me a b***h when I got hyped up and really excited and chattered a lot. I didn't speak around him for 3 days out of spite. One of many reasons he's now an ex.
#79
My Supervisors Response To Me Asking For A Raise
Fire Singer 11 months ago
I think the problem is that the employee asked about a raise two weeks ago and instead of working on it or even being honest and just saying no the boss decided to send a pic of his beach vacation. It's just kind of a slap in the face like...I won't give you a raise (or even consider it) but look at the great vacation I'm on!
Load More Replies... 
Add New Image
What do you think ?
BookFanatic 11 months ago
Was texting with a guy who had a cute dog. I cooed over her picture, asked the name, breed, etc. Told him I had two cats. He replied "Cats can f*****g burn in hell as far as I'm concerned" and ghosted me. Like...okay dude.
Emie N. 11 months ago
Look I'm a huge dog lover myself but I also like cats. We dog lovers don't claim that guy, he's a complete a**hole!
Load More Replies...
Captive 11 months ago
Man some people react way too nicely to plain rudeness. Don't settle with aholes guys
Susical 11 months ago
Having grown up in West Texas, my default response when stressed is to be super polite & nice. I generally regret it later, when I'm back home & fuming!
Load More Replies...
Craig S. (EvilSausage) 11 months ago
Okay I get that ads pay the bills, but does BP really need to have an ad pop up and take up a quarter of the god dam page every time I scroll down to the next entry?
The person leveling NYC 11 months ago
Yeah a LOT of these were overreactions (see my comment on the one where the grandma is crashing out over “Lilith”)
bart simpson 11 months ago
In the survey above, you forgot my all time favorite, All of the above.
BookFanatic 11 months ago
Was texting with a guy who had a cute dog. I cooed over her picture, asked the name, breed, etc. Told him I had two cats. He replied "Cats can f*****g burn in hell as far as I'm concerned" and ghosted me. Like...okay dude.
Emie N. 11 months ago
Look I'm a huge dog lover myself but I also like cats. We dog lovers don't claim that guy, he's a complete a**hole!
Load More Replies... Captive 11 months ago
Man some people react way too nicely to plain rudeness. Don't settle with aholes guys
Susical 11 months ago
Having grown up in West Texas, my default response when stressed is to be super polite & nice. I generally regret it later, when I'm back home & fuming!
Load More Replies... Craig S. (EvilSausage) 11 months ago
Okay I get that ads pay the bills, but does BP really need to have an ad pop up and take up a quarter of the god dam page every time I scroll down to the next entry?
The person leveling NYC 11 months ago
Yeah a LOT of these were overreactions (see my comment on the one where the grandma is crashing out over “Lilith”)
bart simpson 11 months ago
In the survey above, you forgot my all time favorite, All of the above.
You May Like "Be Very Careful With What You Say Next": 80 Funny Text Messages That Took An Unexpected Turn “Die In A Minute”: 125 Times Autocorrect Made A Mess From A Normal Text "Men Talking To Themselves In Your Inbox": 64 Screenshots Of Messages Men Have Sent Women
Viktorija Ošikaitė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Dominyka Proškėnaitė
Related on Bored Panda
