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“Just Leave”: Pregnancy Announcement At Child’s Funeral Causes Family Uproar
“Just Leave”: Pregnancy Announcement At Child’s Funeral Causes Family Uproar
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“Just Leave”: Pregnancy Announcement At Child’s Funeral Causes Family Uproar

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If you’ve always dreamed of starting a family, finding out that you’re pregnant might be one of the best moments of your life. Finally, you can start preparing to bring a little one into the world, and in less than a year, your family will have gained an adorable new member. But there’s a time and a place for announcing good news like this, and it’s important to read the room before spilling the beans.

After one woman decided to inform her relatives of her bun in the oven at a family funeral, she was quickly shut down by her sister-in-law. Below, you’ll find the full story that was posted on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.

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    It can be impossible to think about anything else when coping with a recent tragedy

    Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    So when this woman’s sister-in-law attempted to steal the show at a family funeral, she was quickly shut down

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    Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: NataKor5 / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Few-Extent-3804

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    Image credits: Rawpixel / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)

    Losing a child is a tragedy that no parent should have to experience

    Losing a spouse is an absolute nightmare, and losing a child is something that no parent should ever have to endure. So the pain of experiencing both at once sounds incomprehensible. Psychology Today notes that parents grieving the loss of a child may struggle with concentration, develop anxiety and/or stress, and begin to feel lethargic. 

    It’s also possible that they might feel bitter towards others who seem to be enjoying happy lives, and it’s common to feel isolated from the world as it appears to move on as normal while the parent is dealing with unfathomable levels of pain. It’s recommended that parents give themselves enough time to properly grieve and get support and avoid making any sudden life changes until they’re in a more stable place.

    It can be equally as life-shattering to lose a spouse. Sophia Dembling detailed the “endless sorrow of grieving a spouse” for Psychology Today, noting that she misses the most boring moments with her husband the most. Having someone around to chat with while making dinner, have coffee with on a Sunday morning or to go grocery shopping with is a blessing that many of us take for granted. 

    Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The grieving process is often complicated

    Sophia also shared that she misses the security of the connection she had with her husband. Suddenly, there wasn’t someone moving through the world that she knew was always thinking about her at least in the back of his mind and that would always go to her first. 

    And it’s incredibly painful to lose the “language of love” that you’ve created with a spouse. The inside jokes and vocabulary that only the two of you use together seems to vanish into thin air when one person is gone.

    Grief will never be an easy thing to experience. Whether you’ve lost a beloved pet or the love of your life, it’s important to let yourself experience all of the emotions that come up. Verywell Health notes that it’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of overwhelming sadness, guilty, inability to function, shock or numbness, confusion, anger and denial. 

    And when it comes to losing a child, it’s common to experience complicated grief, or intense grief reactions for a very long time. Around 10% of people who have lost a loved one experience this type of grief, but it’s even more common amongst parents who have lost a child. These parents have a much harder time accepting and adapting to the loss they’ve experienced than the majority of people grieving a loss.    

    Image credits: George Chambers / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    It’s important to know what to do, and what not to do, when supporting bereaved loved ones

    CPD Online College also notes that losing a child can impact a person’s relationships and how they function within their family. For example, the bereaved parent may feel bitter towards siblings who have kids of their own, and relatives might not know how to respond to the situation or what to say. This can strain relationships as well, if loved ones don’t feel comfortable reaching out, and in turn don’t do enough to support the grieving parent.

    It’s important for loved ones to do what they can to support parents who are experiencing a tragedy like this, as they need all the help they can get during the grieving process, it just has to be the right kind of help. HelpGuide notes that it’s wise to do your research and try to understand the grieving process and know that there’s no right or wrong way to experience it. You might need to be patient with your loved one and allow them grace if they’re irritable or acting out of character for a while.

    When talking with a grieving loved one, just listen and accept their feelings. Don’t tell them what to do or to focus on the bright side. And as much as possible, offer help that’s actually practical, like making frozen meals, buying groceries, cleaning their house or hiring someone to clean it, taking care of their pets, and more. 

    We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda piece discussing similar family drama, look no further than right here

    Many readers agreed that the woman was right to put her sister-in-law in her place

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    Adelaide May Ross

    Adelaide May Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Read less »
    Adelaide May Ross

    Adelaide May Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    What do you think ?
    Rosgrana
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, you “made a pregnant woman cry?” Too bad. The pregnant woman made the funeral of a father and his two young children all about herself, TO THE BEREAVED WIDOW AND MOTHER! The pregnant woman thoroughly deserved it, and needs to be excluded from all family events and contact until she apologises, first and most humbly to Mary, for her dreadfully inappropriate behaviour, and then to the OP for making trouble instead of acknowledging how badly she behaved and that it was right to call her out on it.

    MisterE
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dis bish is 5!!! weeks along? Are they nuts? Anything can happen. You dont announce until at least after week 10-12. I feel bad for their future children.

    Couragetcd
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Feeling bad for their future child is the major takeaway I have from this. There is very little chance for the kid to not be an entitled brat.

    Load More Replies...
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    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I applaud you for what you did. What your brother and SIL did is disgusting!!! How dare she act that way at the funeral. Especially in the presence of the woman who lost 2 children and her husband. They deserve to be yelled at. They deserve worse than that. I'd cut them off and exclude them from everything. They deserve it. They want to make everything about themselves? Do it by themselves now.

    Heffalump
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What odds SIL wants to name her spawn after the dead children?

    Jill Davidsen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hadn't considered that, but you're probably right.

    Load More Replies...
    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What’s even worse after reading this, if the SIL hadn’t said anything, her brother would have. What on earth made them think that the best place to announce a pregnancy was at the funeral of a father and two children? I do not have the words.

    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SIL is an AH with no discretion and she sure has main character syndrome. It’s really psychologically messed up to announce your preggers during a child’s funeral. She’s a sociopath who doesn’t care at all about other people.

    LB
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! There must be something seriously wrong for a person to turn out like this...

    Load More Replies...
    MR
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On what planet do you go to someone's funeral and announce your pregnancy? Like, yes, I get three people, including 2 kids, died and the mother is probably going follow them because I can't imagine living with that. And that makes it a million times *worse*. But even if it were a grandparent who had lived their life to the fullest. A funeral is never a time to make such an announcement. Then going around like you're at some sort of impromptu baby shower? Who TF are these people?! The whole family needs to get together and tell them both to shove off and go NC. Those two are lucky it wasn't turned into an impromptu funeral for 6 after what she pulled. That poor mother. That's so heartbreaking. I really hope she can get through this.

    whineygingercat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have no words. Good grief, SiL CLEARLY doesn't know how to "read the room." Not only did she add insult to injury, she continued to rub it in that poor woman's face. SiL DESERVED to be shut down.

    Martin Björling
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I wish I could have commented on the original Reddit post, but it's closed since it's 3 years old. The SIL sounds to me to have all the traits of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. And the brother is such an enabler. To not understand why what SIL did is wrong lacks so much empathy that Darth Vader sounds like an ideal father. I love that OP called SIL out for her behavior, and I feel a bit sad that she feels she needs to justify it. There is no need at all to justify that she called SIL out, she did what was perfectly needed and warranted in the situation. Also, kudos to OP's parents for being on OP's side and for the father to kick brother and SIL out.

    Virgil Blue
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Say what you want about Darth, but he did try to connect with his kids once he learned they weren't dead. And he killed the Emperor to save Luke at the end at the cost of himself.

    Load More Replies...
    Lost Penny
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You made a pregnant woman cry!!" The pregnant woman should be thankful nobody spat in her face. What kind of monstrosity does that??

    Load More Comments
    Rosgrana
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, you “made a pregnant woman cry?” Too bad. The pregnant woman made the funeral of a father and his two young children all about herself, TO THE BEREAVED WIDOW AND MOTHER! The pregnant woman thoroughly deserved it, and needs to be excluded from all family events and contact until she apologises, first and most humbly to Mary, for her dreadfully inappropriate behaviour, and then to the OP for making trouble instead of acknowledging how badly she behaved and that it was right to call her out on it.

    MisterE
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dis bish is 5!!! weeks along? Are they nuts? Anything can happen. You dont announce until at least after week 10-12. I feel bad for their future children.

    Couragetcd
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Feeling bad for their future child is the major takeaway I have from this. There is very little chance for the kid to not be an entitled brat.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I applaud you for what you did. What your brother and SIL did is disgusting!!! How dare she act that way at the funeral. Especially in the presence of the woman who lost 2 children and her husband. They deserve to be yelled at. They deserve worse than that. I'd cut them off and exclude them from everything. They deserve it. They want to make everything about themselves? Do it by themselves now.

    Heffalump
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What odds SIL wants to name her spawn after the dead children?

    Jill Davidsen
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hadn't considered that, but you're probably right.

    Load More Replies...
    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What’s even worse after reading this, if the SIL hadn’t said anything, her brother would have. What on earth made them think that the best place to announce a pregnancy was at the funeral of a father and two children? I do not have the words.

    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SIL is an AH with no discretion and she sure has main character syndrome. It’s really psychologically messed up to announce your preggers during a child’s funeral. She’s a sociopath who doesn’t care at all about other people.

    LB
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! There must be something seriously wrong for a person to turn out like this...

    Load More Replies...
    MR
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On what planet do you go to someone's funeral and announce your pregnancy? Like, yes, I get three people, including 2 kids, died and the mother is probably going follow them because I can't imagine living with that. And that makes it a million times *worse*. But even if it were a grandparent who had lived their life to the fullest. A funeral is never a time to make such an announcement. Then going around like you're at some sort of impromptu baby shower? Who TF are these people?! The whole family needs to get together and tell them both to shove off and go NC. Those two are lucky it wasn't turned into an impromptu funeral for 6 after what she pulled. That poor mother. That's so heartbreaking. I really hope she can get through this.

    whineygingercat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have no words. Good grief, SiL CLEARLY doesn't know how to "read the room." Not only did she add insult to injury, she continued to rub it in that poor woman's face. SiL DESERVED to be shut down.

    Martin Björling
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I wish I could have commented on the original Reddit post, but it's closed since it's 3 years old. The SIL sounds to me to have all the traits of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. And the brother is such an enabler. To not understand why what SIL did is wrong lacks so much empathy that Darth Vader sounds like an ideal father. I love that OP called SIL out for her behavior, and I feel a bit sad that she feels she needs to justify it. There is no need at all to justify that she called SIL out, she did what was perfectly needed and warranted in the situation. Also, kudos to OP's parents for being on OP's side and for the father to kick brother and SIL out.

    Virgil Blue
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Say what you want about Darth, but he did try to connect with his kids once he learned they weren't dead. And he killed the Emperor to save Luke at the end at the cost of himself.

    Load More Replies...
    Lost Penny
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You made a pregnant woman cry!!" The pregnant woman should be thankful nobody spat in her face. What kind of monstrosity does that??

    Load More Comments
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