“This Baby Is 0% My Responsibility”: Pregnant Teen Gets Kicked Out From Mom’s House

This all seems reasonable to me. Not sure I'd make the same decision, but 19 is an adult, and raising the baby is a choice. It's not as if she's developed and illness or became disabled. She s choosing a path that would completely upend her mother's life. It's reasonable to say you need a plan. If you're mature enough to raise a child, you're mature enough to sort out the basics. If you are unable to figure this out as a parental team, you aren't ready to raise a child together.

Not sure where she is, just insurance comments imply US. It's not the norm in the US to raise children in your parents home. Multi generational homes exist, but aren't the default so it is unreasonable to expect it in the way you would in some places. Parents are being generous allowing her to stay while at school, but that's a different agreement than to having a baby in the house. Thee daughter sounds like she is not taking responsibility for her choices. Doesn't sound like she's ready for motherhood.

Coming at this from another angle, I'm surprised by how she describes 'normal grandparents stuff' - "show up at birthday parties, ... buy gifts here and there, but that's it." To me, that is right at the bare minimum of grandparenting. It's one stage up from being your parent's 'genetic material donor'. I cherish the relationship I had with my Grandma. We'd play, we'd bake, we'd do jigsaw, we'd talk, we'd spend time enjoying being together. She was so much more than someone who turned up for birthday parties, and gave gifts here and there.

I read the bartender comment as an assessment of current income. It's a normal job for someone in their 20s but not enough to support a family and not a job where it's expected he will increase earnings. Together the new parents can't afford a place of their own, or are unwilling to live where they can afford. How are they going to manage all the expenses of raising a child? How are they going to get health care? Obviously it's terrible this should be a concern, but before you decide to raise the baby, these are concerns you should address. The very basic requirement for a child is shelter, and if you can't figure even that out, what kind parent are you? Expecting others to pick up your slack. This isn't a family that has fallen on hard times, this is deciding to start a family without basic amenities.

You can not expect your daughter to abort her child. Abortion is a free choice, having a baby is also a free choice. Even when her relationship boyfriend will not last, you have to learn her how to be a responsible mother. Don't push away, learn her how to be a good mum. She's nineteen, she can make her own choices but she still needs love from her mother.

I got pregnant at 19 and my husband and I went between his moms house and my mom’s house. We grew up fast he got his CDL and I went into college . We moved out when our baby was a year old to our own place. Throughout the years we’ve have 3 more kids, built a home on a good amount of land, got married, I graduated, and I’m about to start back up a work this next school year. My husband and I have been together for 11 years now, married for 8. None of what we made happen would have been possible without the support of our mother’s helping us (giving us a place to continue living) when we were younger. We grew up and became responsible and I could never thank either one enough for their support during that time period in our lives. No one bought our son his diapers, formula etc we did, no one watched him day in and day out when they did it was because they offered not me asking. Sounds like she has a daughter that has great potential but a baby doesn’t always ruin someone’s life.

What is with teenagers and young adults expecting their parents to support their kids? When did that become a thing? Mum is a snob about bartenders. But she's being reasonable with her daughter. She is not responsible for the girl's choices. If the girl cannot find a situation in which she can raise her child, then she has to choose adoption or abortion. You are not entitled to have your parents pay for your kids. I'm guessing that boyfriend saw wealthy parents and saw a nice situation for himself if he knocked the girl up.

Stick to your gund mom. The daughter has made her bed you don't need to support her.

Wow about the attitude on bartenders - some people don't have the good fortune of being able to get a job with health etc and from what I've heard it's good money! What a AH

Girlie is a whole a*s adult. She’s not a teen, she’s 19 not 16. Get a job and move out.

When people try to make their problem your problem. Nope. You know it all? Good. Figure it out.

Sometimes more than others, one would really like to hear the story from the other side

It's harsh, but she's an adult and makes her own decisions, so expecting her mum to just pick up the slack isn't good, but neither is forcing your child out when they need you most. I could never do that to my daughter.

How about helping mom, dad and baby out? Get everyone together and discuss what all of the choices and options are. Help new dad get work and education. Mom can have baby and go to school if it's what she wants. Don't push, be patient. Help provide a home if you can afford it. Everything will turn out better when everyone supports one another. Really. This new baby belongs to everyone and deserves love and support from everyone. Isn't there enough punishment and pain in this world? Let's try kindness.

Better kick her out soon enough for her to get an abortion after baby daddy ditches her when he finds out his plan to get a better place to stay fell through.

So the lovely people on the internet heavily criticize someone for telling a child that they have to leave home at 18 (and rightfully so), but it's perfectly okay if the child is 19 and pregnant? Am I the only who thinks this is inconsistent? The mother sounds horribly self-centered to me.

I had my daughter at 19 and my mother threw us out. 6 months later, I met the man I was married to for 23 years of severe trauma and loss - due to a chronc genetic illness I inherited from my mother. When my husband died, and certain my daughter and I had been left destitute, the only contact we received from anyone in my family was an angry 'we told you so' graduation letter from my mother and brother...the same mother and brother writing a few years later to request 'donations' for the first baby shower of his eldest son, just turned 20. My grandson had just received the second of his trust payments at about that time, so it was his pleasure to treat the boy. It's amazing how much they love the remarkable young man he turned out to be.

I say this as a 19 year old parent who is now 45 with a 26 year old and an 18 year old and, damn. This woman is worse than any of the grandparents of my kids. It happened. Your child is pregnant. You are going to be a grandparent. And instead of acknowledging how difficult it was for you as a 19 year old, you decided to make your own child's situation 10 times worse.

NTA. Waitressing or bartending isn't going to provide that child with a good life, it doesn't even make rent in most places. The daughter is 19, immature, and has clearly proven that she doesn't make great choices when it comes to the big stuff. OP is going to be stuck raising and providing for however many loser babies her loser daughter pops out with her loser boyfriend if she doesn't stand firm now

Mum is a bit of AH for the following reasons 1 - didn't sit down with her daughter and discuss options. Mums only option was abortion, I have nothing against abortion if that is what a woman wants but the decision made for her by others is cruel. 2 - bartenders often earn more money than most entry level office jobs 3 - she gives the impression that she doesn't like the idea of being a grandmother - her contempt at the idea is very palatable. That's ok but the way she puts it sounds like she won't even offer emotional support I get she doesn't want any of this but as someone who was in tge daughters position with parents like this I can tell her that she lose her daughter

I wouldn't say this was the best option. I get her point but being more supportive wouldn't hurt anyone. She can go back to studying later if she wants or find a job that doesn't need her to have done so. Sounds more like the mum doesn't like the fact her daughter isn't following the plans she made for her.

Sounds like she's mimicking his behavior and talking back when normally she wouldn't. Her body her choice but your home. Not more parents put their feet down about these kids thinking mom n dad or gram and gramps will raise my kids while I still go do my life they would really wake up. This isn't the early 2000 of Maury and who's your daddy rebellious kids. She's a barely adult with no idea what is coming along if she goes through this. Maybe sit them both down and tell them to shut up and tell them your story. Then say you guys need to gtfo of my home and decide what's going on. The "inn" is closed like her legs should have been. Wouldn't surprise me if he had other kids too or gfs on the side.

Babysitting (within reason) IS part of being à grand-parent IMHO. The fun part: you take them, you play with them and then you give them back. In French it's called "Chic! Ouf!" (Yeah! Phew!, as you say when they arrive, and then when they leave 😇) OP seems to want no part of her grandkid, not even that one, and it's a bit sad.

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She is totally the AH. She thinks a good upbringing only consists of making your children get good marks at school and go to university. She is the typical classist hypocrite who wants to keep appearances at all costs. She is not an AH in other things, though. She doesn't want to raise the baby, and she doesn't want the bf to move in with her daughter and her, which is reasonable. But I wonder how she would feel and what she would say if the boyfriend were well off instead of a bartender. I bet you anything she would be more then happy to welcome him in the the family. Her problem is NOT the baby, her problem is the father is poor.