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People Online Call This Woman The Jerk For Critiquing Her Husband Who Decided To Take A Nap On Christmas Day
What’s the best thing about Christmas for you? Each person will probably answer differently. For some people, Christmas is a festive table set with all their family members around it. For someone else – a lush Christmas tree with shiny toys. For another – unpacking gifts in the morning, and for yet another – just an opportunity to sleep a bit longer. And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
In fact, Christmas napping is a favorite pastime for many people around the whole world, because after all these busy pre-holiday weeks, there is finally an opportunity to relax, unwind and just enjoy the luxury of doing nothing. Unless, of course, members of your own family don’t allow you this very luxury…
A few days ago, just after Christmas, this post from user u/anyaccount123 appeared in the AITA Reddit community and has already gained more than 10.7K upvotes and about 2.1K different comments so far. Most of the commenters were not on the author’s side, but it still makes sense to try to understand this tale.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post and her husband had been married for over fifteen years and have two daughters
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
So, the author of the post immediately confronts readers with the fact that her husband, to whom she has been married for over fifteen years, is a big sleeper. As the Original Poster states, they’re independent people, yet enjoy spending time together too. However, sleep sometimes interferes with spending time together, because if the OP herself is a light sleeper, then her husband is a huge ‘night owl’.
Image credits: anyaccount123
One of the main problems the woman encounters in her family life is that her husband is a big nap lover
Over a decade and a half of living together, a woman has not gotten used to the fact that her husband constantly likes to nap anywhere and any time. In the author’s own words, she never naps, and generally believes that the time spent on napping is time wasted – because her husband could play with their daughters instead, they both could have been doing chores, watching movies, exercising and so on.
Image credits: anyaccount123
The OP’s spouse, as she goes on to say, likes to stay in bed longer in the morning on weekends and days off. The wife has tried to fight his napping, but to no avail. She advised him to go to bed earlier, begged him at least not to nap when the girls are around – he just didn’t care and all the woman’s requests simply went in vain. And so, on this Christmas day, the wife’s patience finally snapped…
Image credits: anyaccount123
The night before Christmas the spouses had a party so they got to bed late
The author tells that she and her husband had a party the day before and went to bed very late, and the woman was quite exhausted. However, the couple woke up around nine in the morning, which is awesome, as the OP claims. Together with the kids, they unpacked Christmas presents, after which the mom suggested that the girls watch a movie together with their parents. However, the kids refused, saying that they would rather play with their new toys.
Image credits: anyaccount123
“Great!” said the OP’s hubby at the time. “So, then I can still take a nap for an hour or two!” After that, the man simply returned to bed, although his wife begged him not to do this. According to the woman, he could have played with their daughters, watched some other movie, do something else he’d enjoy – even clean up the Christmas mess, but this nap-lover simply preferred to stay in bed for a few more hours.
After unpacking presents with kids at 9am, the husband decided to take a nap for an hour or two
Image credits: anyaccount123
The woman lost her temper and confronted him, claiming that he naps literally everywhere and any time and could have spent time with the family instead
However, the woman still wondered if she was even right to be mad at her spouse on Christmas day and for actually trying to control when he sleeps. After all, napping has traditions all over the world – it’s sufficient to recall at least the world-known siesta in Spain and most Spanish-speaking countries…
Image credits: Nicole Michalou (not the actual photo)
However, most people in the comments sided with the sleep-loving husband, even stating that Christmas napping is probably the best part of the holiday
The opinions of commenters, as is often the case, were divided, but most still felt that the husband had his right to take a nap – especially if it was Christmas morning. Moreover, Christmas napping, according to some people in the comments, is an integral and probably the best part of the holiday. Commenters do admit that at this time, their own kids go off and play with their new stuff, and the parents just put on football and nap on the couch.
Image credits: Nicole Michalou (not the actual photo)
On a more serious note, some people commented that the Original Poster’s husband may have some kind of sleep disorder, so if she really cares about his health, it’s worth seeing a doctor. In any case, Christmas is probably the worst time for family drama, so the commenters just urge the OP not to ruin the holiday for her own kids and the spouse as well.
And yet, strange stories often happen at Christmas. For example, the one described in this post of ours about a guest who threw a fit over a tampon box suddenly found in the hosts’ bathroom. Or you can just scroll through this wonderful selection of the most beautiful gifts ever received by folks online. And, of course, we are already looking forward to your comments on this tale straight below the post.
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SheilaWeila 2 years ago
I'm glad i don't live with the OP. How lovely it must be Living with someone who has decided they can tell you when you can or can't sleep, and when you should spend time with your kids. Maybe some people can sleep any time they go to bed, but others cannot, so don't pretend that you can change someone's sleep needs by b****ing at them. If his sleep needs were unusual, why wouldn't you consult a doctor? Stop acting like his mommy unless you want him to grow up and move out.
Bec 2 years ago
Right? Maybe the guy should step up a bit but it sounds like she wants everything to be perfect and on her terms, I would nap and stay up late to avoid her too.
Load More Replies...
PattyK 2 years ago
Some of us actually ENJOY sleeping and don’t consider it a waste of time. I don’t think the husband has a sleep problem; I think he — and his wife — have a relationship problem. And that requires professional counseling. If one of them doesn’t want to go to counseling, the other one should go alone.
K W 2 years ago
I fall asleep at almost every holiday now and I'm a mom in her 40's. Heck I fell asleep at 6 pm on my own birthday this year. But I've had tons of medical testing done by a myriad of doctors including sleep testing with basically no definitive answers. I do what I can to plan and mitigate and I rarely stay up late but a day with no nap is pretty rare. That said I would be furious if I got stuck doing all the parenting and household stuff or if a significant other had what might be a major health issue and made zero effort to explore that. But someone trying to tell me all the other ways I should be being productive instead of napping would be a huge red flag for controlling behavior.
Pizzagirl 91 2 years ago
Maybe your tiredness is a bit like mine on holidays: you are stressed working up to that day, and on that day, when the largest part of the responsibility falls off (you can't plan FOR the day anymore, you just have to take it as it comes), your body grabs for that relief and wants to rest. I can work a full 40-week without a nap, but now, during the holidays, I'm glad that my children are young enough so we can just all take our midday naps. And I'm 31.
Load More Replies...
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
I'm a 46 year old insomniac with strange sleeping patterns that are always on the flux. My family & I tried everything from when I was 10 to "fix" this, *the only thing that works is to let me sleep when I need to*. My schedule as of now consists of going to bed at around 3 am, sleeping until 11 or so, getting up until around 1 or 2 and sleeping until 4 or 5. Rinse, repeat. He may simply have sleeping issues. You can get that looked at, of course, and try counseling if you think that's the problem, but you seem to be very controlling. My mother made my life he11 for me when I lived with her because she thought I could just be awake whenever, like a neuraltypical person. Yeah, that simply isn't possible.
Lara M 2 years ago
If he's a night owl and has a job and kids, he's sleep deprived by definition. His body needs to catch up on sleep. It's a biological need like food or water. I'm a night owl and I sleep in once a week. I'm an engaged and involved parent and a hard worker, and the only way I can remain an engaged and involved parent and hard worker is if I'm not sleep deprived.
B.Nelson 2 years ago
I'm one of those people who can't nap while most of my family naps just fine. I would suggest the OP look into a possible anxiety disorder for themselves. Also, if the husband snores and sleeps that often, then he probably has a sleep disorder. Get that checked out ASAP. I get it though. It's hard to deal with a family of nappers and all you can think about is that you need to take care of everything during that time. The truth is you don't. Instead of napping, read a book or play a game.
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
I'm glad I no longer live with a napper/selfish disengaged dad. When you divorce, you get 50% of your time back and you're not solo parenting. I have enormous amounts of free time... I have hobbies, exercise, travel, and have fun all on my own. My career is back on track. It is glorious!!
David Leick 2 years ago
Rule #1 of taking a nap: You do so when you damn well please. Except for during your work shift, I cannot condone that.
RoanTheMad 2 years ago
I think if I lived with OP I'd be taking a hammer to my head to knock myself out into sleep.
Niki A 2 years ago
People have different sleeping patterns. What has me so zoned out by this is that you think napping at all is not normal and is wasted time. No one should spend every minute of every day doing something just because it's "productive". I agree he shouldn't be dipping out on responsibilities, but you seem to think naps are the devil and that people who said YTA don't have kids. I have to take a nap every day right now, leaving my husband with our children. Sometimes he naps with me, sometimes he doesn't. If he naps, he won't sleep at night, whereas I can sleep all night. We don't try to "even the score" or argue about it. It's pointless. Your problem is not that he naps, but that he isn't helping. Please get help.
SheilaWeila 2 years ago
I'm glad i don't live with the OP. How lovely it must be Living with someone who has decided they can tell you when you can or can't sleep, and when you should spend time with your kids. Maybe some people can sleep any time they go to bed, but others cannot, so don't pretend that you can change someone's sleep needs by b****ing at them. If his sleep needs were unusual, why wouldn't you consult a doctor? Stop acting like his mommy unless you want him to grow up and move out.
Bec 2 years ago
Right? Maybe the guy should step up a bit but it sounds like she wants everything to be perfect and on her terms, I would nap and stay up late to avoid her too.
Load More Replies... PattyK 2 years ago
Some of us actually ENJOY sleeping and don’t consider it a waste of time. I don’t think the husband has a sleep problem; I think he — and his wife — have a relationship problem. And that requires professional counseling. If one of them doesn’t want to go to counseling, the other one should go alone.
K W 2 years ago
I fall asleep at almost every holiday now and I'm a mom in her 40's. Heck I fell asleep at 6 pm on my own birthday this year. But I've had tons of medical testing done by a myriad of doctors including sleep testing with basically no definitive answers. I do what I can to plan and mitigate and I rarely stay up late but a day with no nap is pretty rare. That said I would be furious if I got stuck doing all the parenting and household stuff or if a significant other had what might be a major health issue and made zero effort to explore that. But someone trying to tell me all the other ways I should be being productive instead of napping would be a huge red flag for controlling behavior.
Pizzagirl 91 2 years ago
Maybe your tiredness is a bit like mine on holidays: you are stressed working up to that day, and on that day, when the largest part of the responsibility falls off (you can't plan FOR the day anymore, you just have to take it as it comes), your body grabs for that relief and wants to rest. I can work a full 40-week without a nap, but now, during the holidays, I'm glad that my children are young enough so we can just all take our midday naps. And I'm 31.
Load More Replies... Ches Yamada 2 years ago
I'm a 46 year old insomniac with strange sleeping patterns that are always on the flux. My family & I tried everything from when I was 10 to "fix" this, *the only thing that works is to let me sleep when I need to*. My schedule as of now consists of going to bed at around 3 am, sleeping until 11 or so, getting up until around 1 or 2 and sleeping until 4 or 5. Rinse, repeat. He may simply have sleeping issues. You can get that looked at, of course, and try counseling if you think that's the problem, but you seem to be very controlling. My mother made my life he11 for me when I lived with her because she thought I could just be awake whenever, like a neuraltypical person. Yeah, that simply isn't possible.
Lara M 2 years ago
If he's a night owl and has a job and kids, he's sleep deprived by definition. His body needs to catch up on sleep. It's a biological need like food or water. I'm a night owl and I sleep in once a week. I'm an engaged and involved parent and a hard worker, and the only way I can remain an engaged and involved parent and hard worker is if I'm not sleep deprived.
B.Nelson 2 years ago
I'm one of those people who can't nap while most of my family naps just fine. I would suggest the OP look into a possible anxiety disorder for themselves. Also, if the husband snores and sleeps that often, then he probably has a sleep disorder. Get that checked out ASAP. I get it though. It's hard to deal with a family of nappers and all you can think about is that you need to take care of everything during that time. The truth is you don't. Instead of napping, read a book or play a game.
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
I'm glad I no longer live with a napper/selfish disengaged dad. When you divorce, you get 50% of your time back and you're not solo parenting. I have enormous amounts of free time... I have hobbies, exercise, travel, and have fun all on my own. My career is back on track. It is glorious!!
David Leick 2 years ago
Rule #1 of taking a nap: You do so when you damn well please. Except for during your work shift, I cannot condone that.
RoanTheMad 2 years ago
I think if I lived with OP I'd be taking a hammer to my head to knock myself out into sleep.
Niki A 2 years ago
People have different sleeping patterns. What has me so zoned out by this is that you think napping at all is not normal and is wasted time. No one should spend every minute of every day doing something just because it's "productive". I agree he shouldn't be dipping out on responsibilities, but you seem to think naps are the devil and that people who said YTA don't have kids. I have to take a nap every day right now, leaving my husband with our children. Sometimes he naps with me, sometimes he doesn't. If he naps, he won't sleep at night, whereas I can sleep all night. We don't try to "even the score" or argue about it. It's pointless. Your problem is not that he naps, but that he isn't helping. Please get help.
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