“It Is MY Day”: Bride Tells Grandma She Can’t Wear White At Her Wedding, Starts Family Drama

As the song goes, “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to.” And if it’s your wedding day, you reserve the right to cry, have an extra slice of cake or uninvite your grandmother from the whole event.

One bride recently reached out to Reddit for advice after her fears about her grandma wearing white to her wedding seemed like they might actually come true. Below, you’ll find the full story of how Grandma nearly managed to get herself taken off the guest list, as well as conversations with the bride and Jhona Yellin, wedding expert and Editor at Bespoke Bride.

Most couples want their closest relatives present at their wedding

Grandmother in a white sweater gesturing emotionally while seated in a living room setting.

Image credits: ckstockphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)

But when this bride realized her grandmother might be planning on wearing white, she decided that it’s not necessary for her to attend

Bride's request for grandmother not to wear white at the wedding sparks debate.

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Text explains a bride's discomfort with her grandmother wearing a white dress to the wedding.

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Young woman in a brown shirt sits thoughtfully in a modern kitchen, pondering wedding attire etiquette.

Image credits: jm_video / Envato (not the actual photo)

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Text screenshot about a bride's disagreement with her grandmother over wearing white to a wedding.

Later, the bride clarified some details about her situation and provided a brief update

Bride explains why grandmother wearing white affects her special day.

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Elderly woman in a white dress with pearls at a wedding, emphasizing her attire choice.

Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text update from bride clarifying her wedding request about wearing white, addressing comments and concerns.

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Bride insists no white outfits at wedding, plans to inform security to enforce dress code, prioritizing her special day.

Image credits: Puzzled_Dress9590

“I feel it’s just an act of disrespect for her to wear white at another person’s wedding”

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

To find out more about this situation, we got in touch with the bride, Reddit user Puzzled_Dress9590. She revealed that her grandmother is still refusing to speak to her and is insistent on wearing white to the wedding. “I feel it’s just an act of disrespect for her to wear white at another person’s wedding, especially her granddaughter’s,” the author shared. “I found out from my uncle that his ex-wife hated her wearing white as well but swallowed her tongue instead.”

However, the bride says she wasn’t shocked by her grandmother’s reaction, as she’s known to be dramatic. “What surprised me was how relentlessly adamant she was to die on this hill that it’s ‘not a big deal’ and how I’m ‘sensitive and selfish,'” she continued.

And as for what she thought of the replies to her post, Puzzled_Dress9590 said, “A few were helpful about how to handle this; some were more rude and offered little guidance. I posted this more to kind of vent and find out if I truly did anything wrong. It was nice to see I wouldn’t be the only one feeling like this.”

“When someone else shows up in white, it’s like an uninvited extra trying to steal the spotlight”

In the West, it’s the norm for brides to wear white dresses on their wedding day. This isn’t a requirement by any means, and plenty of women have subverted the norm by wearing stunning dresses in every color of the rainbow. But the majority, about 83% of brides, still go for a classic white gown.  

Brittanica notes that the white dress craze was largely inspired by Queen Victoria’s wedding dress in 1840. And by the time this trend trickled down to regular folks, it cemented its way into the wedding world.

Today, some brides also choose to wear white because they associate it with purity and virtue. But Jhona Yellin, wedding expert and Editor at Bespoke Bride, says wearing white as a bride is about more than just honoring tradition.

“It’s about feeling like the main character in a movie where you spent months (or years) planning the perfect scene,” she told Bored Panda. “When someone else shows up in white, it’s like an uninvited extra trying to steal the spotlight.”

“Historically, white symbolizes purity and new beginnings, but let’s be real: today, it’s more about exclusivity. It’s the bride’s day, and if Grandma rolls up in an ivory gown, it can feel like a challenge rather than a coincidence,” Jhona explained. “Some might call it outdated, but the sentiment remains strong—if you wouldn’t show up to the Oscars in the same dress as the nominee, why do it at a wedding?”

While it might not seem fair to uninvite a guest over wearing white, Jhona says this decision is understandable. “Weddings are emotional powder kegs wrapped in lace and fondant, and something as small as a rogue white dress can light the fuse,” the expert shared.

“A dress code is your first line of defense”

Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

“That said, kicking someone out for their outfit can create a scene far worse than the crime itself. A firm but friendly chat beforehand—’Hey, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t wear white’—can go a long way,” she continued. “But if the guest insists, the real question is: is this a hill worth dying on?”

“If it’s an ex who’s showing up in a bridal gown as a power move, then sure, show them the door. But if it’s your sweet but clueless Nana, maybe let it slide,” Jhona noted. “After all, the photos will still tell the story—the bride, beaming front and center, while the rogue guest gets the side-eye of the century. And if you’re wondering just how much control you can (and should) have over what guests wear, here’s a helpful take on why it’s perfectly okay to set some boundaries.”

To prevent drama like this, Jhona says that creating a dress code can be the bride and groom’s first line of defense. “A well-placed ‘No white, ivory, or cream—unless you’re the one saying ‘I do’!’ on the invite keeps things crystal clear,” she shared. “Plus, dress codes can be a great way to set the mood for your wedding—whether it’s black-tie glam or garden-chic. If you need inspiration, check out our 7 Creative Wedding Dress Codes That Are in Fashion Today.”

However, Jhona warns that some guests may take dress codes as personal attacks. “We all have that one aunt who hates being told what to do,” she noted. “The trick is in the wording: make it sound like a fun guideline rather than a military order. And if you’re worried about your mom or grandma feeling left out, why not gently steer them toward something elegant that doesn’t upstage the bride? Here’s a guide to chic mother-of-the-bride outfits that might just do the trick.”

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride made the right choice by putting her foot down? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing wedding outfit drama right here. 

The bride also responded to a few readers and provided more background information

Reddit comments discussing a bride's request for her grandmother not to wear white to the wedding.

Discussion on Reddit about a bride's request for her grandmother not to wear white at the wedding.

Discussion about bride's request for grandmother not to wear white at wedding, citing discomfort with color matching.

Many readers agreed that the bride had every right to put her foot down

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Reddit discussion about a bride requesting her grandmother avoid wearing white to her wedding.

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Reddit comments discussing bride's request to grandmother about not wearing white at wedding.

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Screenshot of a comment discussing a bride's request to her grandmother not to wear white at the wedding.

However, some thought she was blowing things out of proportion

Reddit comment thread discussing a bride's request about her grandmother not wearing white to the wedding.

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Reddit comment discussing wedding dress concerns about grandma wearing white, shared by user on relationship issues.

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