Man And His Dad Take BIL’s Equipment And Ruin It, Expect Him To Forgive Them Without Ever Compensating Him
Have you ever heard stories of people complaining about their partner’s family being absolutely awful people? It seems they can’t get along with anyone. They don’t wanna hang out with them or have anything to do with them. It may create unwanted tension between the family, but, hey, it’s a sure sign of how much they love their partner if they’re willing to bear it.
This is a story of a poster wondering whether they are a jerk for telling their brother–in–law (BIL) to get over a 10-year grudge at the poster’s family after they borrowed $70k of equipment from BIL, destroyed it, and never compensated him for it.
More info: Reddit
A tense relationship with your partner’s family is bound to make things difficult, especially when they won’t see eye to eye with you
Image credits: Michael Coghlan (not the actual photo)
The conflict in the story started 10 years ago, when the poster’s family borrowed some equipment from their BIL without his consent with his wife’s help
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While taking the equipment, the father lost control and totaled his truck and all of the equipment
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They used the insurance to cover medical bills and buy a new truck and never paid the BIL back, according to whom the equipment cost $70k
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10 years down the line BIL hasn’t let this go and when the poster heard about it, he called BIL to berate him for being greedy
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The call caused BIL’s wife to get upset and withdraw from going to an upcoming family gathering
In short, the story goes like this. The original poster’s (OP) sister is married to a general contractor, a general contractor being someone who oversees all parts of construction for a client, from providing services and taking care of materials to hiring subcontractors to do part of the work.
10 years ago, OP’s brother and dad needed some heavy equipment to install a deck, and conveniently, the BIL had it. He didn’t let the family borrow it, but they talked his wife into letting them do it and did it anyway.
They totaled the equipment and used the insurance money to cover medical bills and their truck, but not the equipment, worth about $70k.
10 years down the line, they still haven’t paid BIL back, and he never attends anything involving the family. When they heard that BIL is still upset over the money, OP called to harangue him over it, saying that he’s “an a**” for prioritizing money over family.
All of this caused the sister and her kids to withdraw from an upcoming family holiday, telling OP that calling BIL was out of line.
Doing some research, it seems that although there are many customizations that could sway the price of a skid loader, prices range from $30k to $60k, with larger and more powerful models reaching up to $100k prices. As for the dump trailer, new units range from 5 thousand to upwards of 20 thousand for large units with powerful hydraulics. So the husband’s pricing for the equipment he lost sure does seem to add up.
Even though it may seem like the best option, there may be various reasons why the BIL doesn’t want to take legal action against the extended family. It could be out of respect for the wife, not wanting to leave their parents even worse off than they already are. Another reason could be because the wife had let the father and brother take BIL’s equipment, so she may be considered complicit in the crime and would be prosecuted as well.
Image credits: Bradley Gordon
For this article, Bored Panda contacted Linda C. Fritz, a former attorney with three decades of experience, 20 years of which have been spent as an arbitrator and mediator. Fritz has worked with hundreds of cases in many areas, from real estate and construction to personal injuries and health care.
With our current situation in mind, one of the first things that Linda mentions is that “if the event occurred ten years ago, there are likely statute of limitation considerations.” In the BIL’s case, legal counsel should advise before any litigation or legal action.
Working with limited information, Linda says this could be classified as a civil action (the tort of conversion) or a criminal action – theft. “Given the value of such equipment – probably grand theft!” Linda continues.
Nevertheless, legal action would likely be futile, with the amount of time that has passed. A district attorney would be reluctant to prosecute, while a civil litigator would have the already mentioned statute of limitation problems. Therefore, to the dismay of many commenters, the BIL likely wouldn’t be able to get compensation for what was taken from him.
Not all hope is lost at this point. Linda suggests that there may be a way to solve this issue or at least slightly alleviate the strain on their relationship: “A family mediation, however, could be helpful under this scenario.” It’s difficult to tell whether the passage of time would be important in a mediation of this type.
In such a voluntary and confidential setting, if the family members truly want to preserve their relationships, a mediator may be able to bring all of the tumultuous feelings under control and help reach some sort of compromise.
“Having conducted many hundreds of mediations in my legal career, my experience in such settings shows that these types of mediations are successful about 50% of the time.”
Image credits: GEORGE DESIPRIS
When asked about suing family members, Linda has this to say: “Whether or not to sue a family member (for anything!) is always a very serious question, one that is fraught with problems.”
Besides the obvious outcome of severely damaging relationships, the person suing should examine their role in the dispute, Linda says. With the example situation in mind, did the BIL take any steps to be reimbursed or contact law enforcement? If not, why not?
Linda emphasizes that when dealing with family members and potential legal situations, less is more. Less threats of legal action and potential consequences and more suggestions for solving the problem are better. “Mediation services and mediators are abundant in every city and state. Barring a heinous crime involved, e.g., assault, battery and the like, a mediation conducted shortly after the event can work wonders!”
Mediation is quite common and can be effective in some, but not all, criminal matters and is often proscribed by many courts, Linda goes on.
Finally, talking about why family members may hesitate to contact law enforcement, Linda supplies a potential reason: “Once they do and the investigations begin, they have forfeited their rights to control the outcome.” Law enforcement and the legal system take priority.
With mediation, family members will get a say in the outcome and won’t be forced into anything they do not agree with.
If you’d like to find out more about Linda or solving conflicts, we suggest going to Linda’s website, where you can find much more information about conflict resolution and mediation in many, many different situations.
Image credits: Paweł L
But what should you do if you just can’t get along with your partner’s family? Perhaps they have slighted you somehow or never really thought you were a good fit for their partner? LOVEAroundMe has some tips.
One suggestion is to talk to your partner honestly, but only when you’ve spent a bit more time with the family. This may help you avoid uncomfortable situations with the family, or they’ll help you limit contact with the family.
Another important thing you could do is hold your ground. If the family mocks you, you should let them know that you won’t be having any of it, subtly at first, and obviously, if they aren’t listening to you.
What if you’re the one in between your partner and your family? Is there something to do that would mitigate the friction between the two parties? Romper suggests first talking to your partner about what exactly they dislike, where the feelings stem from. By knowing what’s bothering your partner, you can create tools to navigate difficult family situations.
You could also talk to your family about their concerns without being too defensive. If their concerns are not based on anything legitimate, your best option is to ask them to be respectful of you
Ultimately, you shouldn’t forget yourself and set up boundaries to protect your own emotional health. If either your parents or your partner won’t stop being negative, you should tell them that it makes you stressed and that you need some space.
In this case, the comments decided that this person was indeed the jerk. Their post got more than 14k upvotes and more than 7k comments. Commenters said that BIL is right for cutting them off and that they should do their absolute best to make him whole for the $70k.
Commenters blasted the poster for being entitled and calling them out for stealing from the BIL
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God I love the AITA articles where people are actually voted YTA. It's just so satisfying seeing someone get smacked down like that when they expected people to agree with them.
Agree!! Hope some of then learn from it too
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BIL is a lot nicer than I would have been, I'd have taken them to court disregarding if I'd get my money back or not. Thieves are thieves, even worse when they break your trust
Good for you. Even if it puts them in debt, it's STILL their fault the skid loader was destroyed. BIL must have a lot of patience to put up w/ his wife. She IS the one who let them borrow the equipment.
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This person is out of line. This is not a 'grudge', they seriously betrayed his trust and lost something they used to make a living. I am curious why the equipment wasn't insured through the BIL? Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought a business would insure that separately.
Quite possibly because it was taken and wrecked by an unauthorized user/ non employee
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"After he expressly refused us permission to use the equipment on which his business relies, we borrowed (stole) it anyway. Then we wrecked it and didn't compensate him a single penny of its value. Why can't he just get over it?" You know you're TA, my dude.
How has no one mentioned that if the BIL reported it, they dad and brothers and maybe sister would be in jail. Even returning in mint condition this is a felony. BIL had to take a financial hit (and probably continuous hits by insurance) to keep in laws out of jail. That's pretty damn kind to family who treat him with contempt. I assume with no effort at monetary restitution, there wasn't a thank you for not sending me to prison.
Oh he had 3 of them who cares if he lost one.... he had three cause he used every one of them on the job. I'm poor so I can't pay him back but he can take the hit. this guy takes the cake. If my in-laws did this I would still be pissed too.
“Let’s get something straight. My brother and dad are not bad people. They are just unrepentant thieves.” It’s an argument, I suppose. If they couldn’t afford to pay back the cost of the ruined equipment , perhaps they could have paid for a monthly advert in the local paper, with both their names, their faces, and the text ‘We stole expensive equipment from family. We broke it. We refuse to apologise. We say that we cannot afford to pay our family back. Spit in our dog faces if we ever ask to borrow anything from you. Once again, we refuse to apologise or accept any responsibility.’
BIL could have reported it stolen and been paid by his insurance company, but he kept Dad and Brother out of jail instead. They owe him the cost of the loader. Asshats.
Basically OP is upset because BIL who is owed $70,000 won't dish up $150 or a 20th of $3000 and he is wondering who the a*****e here is? The other 19 contributors would be up for $9 extra each in this scenario ffs. If i am wrong in how I read it they would each be up for a maximum of $150 each. None of that math equals any excuse to get upset at someone who is $70,000 out of pocket and rightfully upset about it at all.
Let's not forget $70,000 in 2013 is about $90,398 today. They think they should not be responsible for their actions because it only hurt someone who is responsible enough to tell a family member no.
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My husband's aunt and cousin pulled this. We gifted her one of our cars and she was holding the other one while we were working on selling it after we moved to the city. Told her not to let her son (who has severe brain damage from a crash on a straight with no other cars while going to pick up drugs 6 months before) drive it. She keeps he own keys locked up because she knows he steals stuff. Literally a month after we reiterated in person that we absolutely didn't want him to drive it (and me getting called a "dumb b I t c h" for it) he wrapped it around a tree. She calls my husband and tries to make us feel bad for the idiot and calls us names and insults us for being mad. Find out she was trying to squat in our trailer that was for sale, too thanks to a $150 electric bill. Did she say sorry? Ever? No. My husband and I couldn't have our phones on because they blew them up for 3 months trying to get us to "forgive them".
Nuclear level YTA! Isn't theft/damage valued at $5000 considered a felony? I say get the police involved, and then we will see who is in the wrong. Oh, and this will have a knock on effect because now his companies' insurance has gone up, and he has most likely had to buy and pay for additional security measures. So not only has he lost £70k, but he is also paying extra for the rest of the companies life and his is one skid loader down which reduces his work output which in turn reduces his income
The OPs attitude sucks. His father and brother destroyed his BILs property and want him to act like everything is OK. This family is ridiculous and if I was brother in law, I would not put up with this c**p anymore. They need to stop trying to play the victim and do the right thing.
Uhm dud it say anywhere, that they apologized for wrecking his stuff in the first place?
Gotta love the whole "...he's got 3 other skid-loaders and trailers so he can handle the impact" bit, not considering how expensive everything was or how missing equipment can slow-down things and cost a contractor some serious money (I'm in the business so know it can hurt when you're short equipment). I don't blame BIL one bit and I'd be doing the same thing.
I'm so tired of belligerent entitlement. These a$$holes are so entitled that they feel they should be able to steal 70k and then ask for more. Unreal. If they had any remorse, they'd give that 3k to the BIL along with a repayment plan. BIL should have sued with their attitude.
When I was 20... A long time ago. I borrowed my best friends freshly painted truck to move a couch for my parents. Some how I put a huge scratch from the drivers door to the end of the tailgate. He had the money to fix it and didnt want to use insurance because it would have increased his monthly payment. He had it painted again and it took me 2 years but I paid him back in full. And oddly enough he's still one of my closest friends almost 20 years later. You know because I didn't screw him over.
Does anyone else notice this whole "be the bigger person, just let it go" thing is asked of the people who got shafted? The guilty people are NEVER asked to make a good faith move. I'm typically one to at least consider forgiveness, but that also is predicated by an attempt at contrition. Hopefully I won't get crucified over this, but there it is.
I am in the "YTA" camp. "Can we borrow your expensive work equipment?" "NO". "Okay then, we'll steal it and destroy it". This wasn't just "a mistake". It speaks to the moral values of the relatives taking his gear after they had been explicitly told not to. As does justifying it with "my BIL can afford to absorb the loss".
There would either be people in jail, I would have a lien on their house, or I would have $70K. Those are the options, they get to choose.
These are the types of people to live completely irresponsibly. Job hopping because they keep fighting with their bosses, gotta repair their cars because of reckless and irresponsible driving, and from the way OP writes, probably some mental health issues. I guarantee you nobody in that family other than Sis and BIL have more than $3000 to their names right now
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BIL could have sued and put a lien on both brother and fathers property; he didn't. He could have had both arrested and for a $70k theft, they would have been looking at serious time. He didn't. They never made restitution, but they used the insurance money to pay their own medical bills and replace their truck. Just because he had the equipment, didn't mean he could "afford to take the hit" the equipment may well have been financed, and he probrably had to replace it out of pocket as well, in order to continue his business. His insurance probrably wouldn't have covered the loss, especially when he wasn't making a police report for theft. BIL clearly put his relationship with his wife above finances, but I doubt he considers the thieving inlaws 'family', at this point. YTA, bonehead.
YTA! I agree that maybe he needed to get a truck for work. It could have been a used truck, not an news truck. In 10 years he should have been making payments to try to make restitution. Saying “I’m so sorry I did this without your permission and ruined your equipment. I’ll do everything I can to make up for it,” would probably have made a world of difference. AND now you want money for a vacation? I think the wife is lucky she’s still a wife! I’d never forgive this treatment from this totally entitled family that figures this man makes more money than they do so why should they pay him back. Unbelievable!
They could have made an effort by paying him back a portion of the total every month. Maybe it still wouldn't have been paid back, but it would have shown that they felt remorse. They sound like terrible people.
He had insurance and it didn't pay for the trailer and skid loader? Must be some real flim flam insurance. BIL should have sued the insurance company as proper insurance would be required to cover anything he's hauling or pulling. The insurance company weaseled out of it and the parents let them.
Your dad and brother don't have a felony on their record thanks to your BIL. I think he has contributed more than enough.
Sounds like he did a HUGE favor to all involved by not pressing criminal charges yet he's TA? Yeah, no. That's not how that works. Also definitely overstepped by calling him and telling him to "get over it." You're lucky he doesn't punch everyone in the face.
Wow. I mean..... first of all, the guys sister should not have said yes to them borrowing it after her husband said no- I would never do that to my husband. He's one of the most generous people I've ever met and if he says no to something, there's a reason. And secondly- they have had 10 whole years to try to pay back what they destroyed and never even bothered to try? Not even a little bit? That family has shown that they don't give a damn about the BIL. I have family who are always "broke". What I mean by that, is they never have any money for repairs or maintenance on their homes, cars, or even sometimes the kids, but they damn sure have money for several small vacations a year to the beach or money for booze or parties all the time. There's a reason my husband and I haven't been on a vacation in ten years; I have two sons (now in college), and we have a very nice house with decently nice cars. Apparently, to them, we're "rich" and we need to pitch in more. Hell. No.
If it were my husband, and OUR lively hood, and future for our children. I would have had the cops on them, before my husband returned. You are definitely an entitled AH. And to further demand money, from your sister..bigger than life AH.
Do stupid stuff expect stupid consequences. You steal my stuff, wreck it and then leave me to carry the cost? If your actions have an impact on my livelihood, my possessions or my bank account then I’m not sorry that I’ll cut you off, you did this, not me. Simple remedy before the act, ask me to bring my gear round, ask me to help do the job, be generous with cups of tea and I’ll be there to help. Own your failures, be humble, accept your fate.
Wow, OP, his dad and brother are giant pieces of s**t. I'd still sue.
Gotta love these kind of storys. „Oh my family member has more money then me, so that means they owe me, right?“
Dad should be all "forget the cruise, let's make a gesture to bil and give him the $ for the damage we never repaid." Bil an sis have every right to feel stuffed because they weren't repaid for damages. And for ten years no $ from dad or bro to repay a small but here or there? I think the family is lucky they don't change their phone numbers after 10 yrs.
Oh, the entitlement... BIL was correct in denying the equipment in the first place. I bet if the roles were reversed, they would be pissed as well. It doesn't matter if BIL has a better financial situation than OP, they were wrong. Actually, they still are. I imagine BIL's relationship with his wife suffered because of this stunt they did. They're MAJOR AH's.
This is SO unbelievably out of line. Op, YTA, and I hope that what you did to your brothers equipment comes right back around to you. If someone ever told me "I know I actually stole from you, destroyed your property, and then refused to pay you back, but I'm a huge POS so I think you should get over it because it's been ten years and we've done nothing to fix it!" I'd make them pay 70k in medical bills.
They are very very lucky that they did not get sued into homelessness and should be thanking BIL for his charity. It sounds like there was an insurance pay off for the equipment but it was co opted for their own needs.
You could have rented one and had it delivered How would you feel if you were in his position. Shame on you!
I'm surprised that the BIL didn't have them arrested for grand theft. I sure as hell would've. NO is NO and for them to manipulate their way into taking it anyway while he was out of town, I would definitely have no qualms about putting them in jail and then suing them into poverty.
God I love the AITA articles where people are actually voted YTA. It's just so satisfying seeing someone get smacked down like that when they expected people to agree with them.
Agree!! Hope some of then learn from it too
Load More Replies... BIL is a lot nicer than I would have been, I'd have taken them to court disregarding if I'd get my money back or not. Thieves are thieves, even worse when they break your trust
Good for you. Even if it puts them in debt, it's STILL their fault the skid loader was destroyed. BIL must have a lot of patience to put up w/ his wife. She IS the one who let them borrow the equipment.
Load More Replies... This person is out of line. This is not a 'grudge', they seriously betrayed his trust and lost something they used to make a living. I am curious why the equipment wasn't insured through the BIL? Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought a business would insure that separately.
Quite possibly because it was taken and wrecked by an unauthorized user/ non employee
Load More Replies... "After he expressly refused us permission to use the equipment on which his business relies, we borrowed (stole) it anyway. Then we wrecked it and didn't compensate him a single penny of its value. Why can't he just get over it?" You know you're TA, my dude.
How has no one mentioned that if the BIL reported it, they dad and brothers and maybe sister would be in jail. Even returning in mint condition this is a felony. BIL had to take a financial hit (and probably continuous hits by insurance) to keep in laws out of jail. That's pretty damn kind to family who treat him with contempt. I assume with no effort at monetary restitution, there wasn't a thank you for not sending me to prison.
Oh he had 3 of them who cares if he lost one.... he had three cause he used every one of them on the job. I'm poor so I can't pay him back but he can take the hit. this guy takes the cake. If my in-laws did this I would still be pissed too.
“Let’s get something straight. My brother and dad are not bad people. They are just unrepentant thieves.” It’s an argument, I suppose. If they couldn’t afford to pay back the cost of the ruined equipment , perhaps they could have paid for a monthly advert in the local paper, with both their names, their faces, and the text ‘We stole expensive equipment from family. We broke it. We refuse to apologise. We say that we cannot afford to pay our family back. Spit in our dog faces if we ever ask to borrow anything from you. Once again, we refuse to apologise or accept any responsibility.’
BIL could have reported it stolen and been paid by his insurance company, but he kept Dad and Brother out of jail instead. They owe him the cost of the loader. Asshats.
Basically OP is upset because BIL who is owed $70,000 won't dish up $150 or a 20th of $3000 and he is wondering who the a*****e here is? The other 19 contributors would be up for $9 extra each in this scenario ffs. If i am wrong in how I read it they would each be up for a maximum of $150 each. None of that math equals any excuse to get upset at someone who is $70,000 out of pocket and rightfully upset about it at all.
Let's not forget $70,000 in 2013 is about $90,398 today. They think they should not be responsible for their actions because it only hurt someone who is responsible enough to tell a family member no.
Load More Replies... My husband's aunt and cousin pulled this. We gifted her one of our cars and she was holding the other one while we were working on selling it after we moved to the city. Told her not to let her son (who has severe brain damage from a crash on a straight with no other cars while going to pick up drugs 6 months before) drive it. She keeps he own keys locked up because she knows he steals stuff. Literally a month after we reiterated in person that we absolutely didn't want him to drive it (and me getting called a "dumb b I t c h" for it) he wrapped it around a tree. She calls my husband and tries to make us feel bad for the idiot and calls us names and insults us for being mad. Find out she was trying to squat in our trailer that was for sale, too thanks to a $150 electric bill. Did she say sorry? Ever? No. My husband and I couldn't have our phones on because they blew them up for 3 months trying to get us to "forgive them".
Nuclear level YTA! Isn't theft/damage valued at $5000 considered a felony? I say get the police involved, and then we will see who is in the wrong. Oh, and this will have a knock on effect because now his companies' insurance has gone up, and he has most likely had to buy and pay for additional security measures. So not only has he lost £70k, but he is also paying extra for the rest of the companies life and his is one skid loader down which reduces his work output which in turn reduces his income
The OPs attitude sucks. His father and brother destroyed his BILs property and want him to act like everything is OK. This family is ridiculous and if I was brother in law, I would not put up with this c**p anymore. They need to stop trying to play the victim and do the right thing.
Uhm dud it say anywhere, that they apologized for wrecking his stuff in the first place?
Gotta love the whole "...he's got 3 other skid-loaders and trailers so he can handle the impact" bit, not considering how expensive everything was or how missing equipment can slow-down things and cost a contractor some serious money (I'm in the business so know it can hurt when you're short equipment). I don't blame BIL one bit and I'd be doing the same thing.
I'm so tired of belligerent entitlement. These a$$holes are so entitled that they feel they should be able to steal 70k and then ask for more. Unreal. If they had any remorse, they'd give that 3k to the BIL along with a repayment plan. BIL should have sued with their attitude.
When I was 20... A long time ago. I borrowed my best friends freshly painted truck to move a couch for my parents. Some how I put a huge scratch from the drivers door to the end of the tailgate. He had the money to fix it and didnt want to use insurance because it would have increased his monthly payment. He had it painted again and it took me 2 years but I paid him back in full. And oddly enough he's still one of my closest friends almost 20 years later. You know because I didn't screw him over.
Does anyone else notice this whole "be the bigger person, just let it go" thing is asked of the people who got shafted? The guilty people are NEVER asked to make a good faith move. I'm typically one to at least consider forgiveness, but that also is predicated by an attempt at contrition. Hopefully I won't get crucified over this, but there it is.
I am in the "YTA" camp. "Can we borrow your expensive work equipment?" "NO". "Okay then, we'll steal it and destroy it". This wasn't just "a mistake". It speaks to the moral values of the relatives taking his gear after they had been explicitly told not to. As does justifying it with "my BIL can afford to absorb the loss".
There would either be people in jail, I would have a lien on their house, or I would have $70K. Those are the options, they get to choose.
These are the types of people to live completely irresponsibly. Job hopping because they keep fighting with their bosses, gotta repair their cars because of reckless and irresponsible driving, and from the way OP writes, probably some mental health issues. I guarantee you nobody in that family other than Sis and BIL have more than $3000 to their names right now
Load More Replies... BIL could have sued and put a lien on both brother and fathers property; he didn't. He could have had both arrested and for a $70k theft, they would have been looking at serious time. He didn't. They never made restitution, but they used the insurance money to pay their own medical bills and replace their truck. Just because he had the equipment, didn't mean he could "afford to take the hit" the equipment may well have been financed, and he probrably had to replace it out of pocket as well, in order to continue his business. His insurance probrably wouldn't have covered the loss, especially when he wasn't making a police report for theft. BIL clearly put his relationship with his wife above finances, but I doubt he considers the thieving inlaws 'family', at this point. YTA, bonehead.
YTA! I agree that maybe he needed to get a truck for work. It could have been a used truck, not an news truck. In 10 years he should have been making payments to try to make restitution. Saying “I’m so sorry I did this without your permission and ruined your equipment. I’ll do everything I can to make up for it,” would probably have made a world of difference. AND now you want money for a vacation? I think the wife is lucky she’s still a wife! I’d never forgive this treatment from this totally entitled family that figures this man makes more money than they do so why should they pay him back. Unbelievable!
They could have made an effort by paying him back a portion of the total every month. Maybe it still wouldn't have been paid back, but it would have shown that they felt remorse. They sound like terrible people.
He had insurance and it didn't pay for the trailer and skid loader? Must be some real flim flam insurance. BIL should have sued the insurance company as proper insurance would be required to cover anything he's hauling or pulling. The insurance company weaseled out of it and the parents let them.
Your dad and brother don't have a felony on their record thanks to your BIL. I think he has contributed more than enough.
Sounds like he did a HUGE favor to all involved by not pressing criminal charges yet he's TA? Yeah, no. That's not how that works. Also definitely overstepped by calling him and telling him to "get over it." You're lucky he doesn't punch everyone in the face.
Wow. I mean..... first of all, the guys sister should not have said yes to them borrowing it after her husband said no- I would never do that to my husband. He's one of the most generous people I've ever met and if he says no to something, there's a reason. And secondly- they have had 10 whole years to try to pay back what they destroyed and never even bothered to try? Not even a little bit? That family has shown that they don't give a damn about the BIL. I have family who are always "broke". What I mean by that, is they never have any money for repairs or maintenance on their homes, cars, or even sometimes the kids, but they damn sure have money for several small vacations a year to the beach or money for booze or parties all the time. There's a reason my husband and I haven't been on a vacation in ten years; I have two sons (now in college), and we have a very nice house with decently nice cars. Apparently, to them, we're "rich" and we need to pitch in more. Hell. No.
If it were my husband, and OUR lively hood, and future for our children. I would have had the cops on them, before my husband returned. You are definitely an entitled AH. And to further demand money, from your sister..bigger than life AH.
Do stupid stuff expect stupid consequences. You steal my stuff, wreck it and then leave me to carry the cost? If your actions have an impact on my livelihood, my possessions or my bank account then I’m not sorry that I’ll cut you off, you did this, not me. Simple remedy before the act, ask me to bring my gear round, ask me to help do the job, be generous with cups of tea and I’ll be there to help. Own your failures, be humble, accept your fate.
Wow, OP, his dad and brother are giant pieces of s**t. I'd still sue.
Gotta love these kind of storys. „Oh my family member has more money then me, so that means they owe me, right?“
Dad should be all "forget the cruise, let's make a gesture to bil and give him the $ for the damage we never repaid." Bil an sis have every right to feel stuffed because they weren't repaid for damages. And for ten years no $ from dad or bro to repay a small but here or there? I think the family is lucky they don't change their phone numbers after 10 yrs.
Oh, the entitlement... BIL was correct in denying the equipment in the first place. I bet if the roles were reversed, they would be pissed as well. It doesn't matter if BIL has a better financial situation than OP, they were wrong. Actually, they still are. I imagine BIL's relationship with his wife suffered because of this stunt they did. They're MAJOR AH's.
This is SO unbelievably out of line. Op, YTA, and I hope that what you did to your brothers equipment comes right back around to you. If someone ever told me "I know I actually stole from you, destroyed your property, and then refused to pay you back, but I'm a huge POS so I think you should get over it because it's been ten years and we've done nothing to fix it!" I'd make them pay 70k in medical bills.
They are very very lucky that they did not get sued into homelessness and should be thanking BIL for his charity. It sounds like there was an insurance pay off for the equipment but it was co opted for their own needs.
You could have rented one and had it delivered How would you feel if you were in his position. Shame on you!
I'm surprised that the BIL didn't have them arrested for grand theft. I sure as hell would've. NO is NO and for them to manipulate their way into taking it anyway while he was out of town, I would definitely have no qualms about putting them in jail and then suing them into poverty.
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