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My son is turning 6 very soon… I’ve lost track of the number of times people have told me, “Cherish these years—they grow up so fast.” But it’s a lot. And I guess it’s true. One moment you’re changing diapers, and the next, your child is having their own children. It’s tempting to want to hold onto them tightly, hoping they’ll stay small and cute. But inevitably, at some point, parents have to let go.
One dad has been left puzzled after his 16-year-old son suddenly started being unusually affectionate with him. The topless teen cuddled up to his father on the couch without saying a word. The man says that, while he doesn’t want to complain, his wife thinks it’s “weird” and has accused him of being too touchy with their son. The dad is seeking advice…
RELATED:
This dad decided to cherish the moment his 16-year-old son decided to cuddle up to him
Image credits: ImageSourceCur / envato (not the actual photo)
But his wife has him second-guessing himself after she called the interaction “weird”
Image credits: mverkhoturtseva / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway03042025
Research shows that giving your teen physical affection can help keep them out of trouble
Image credits: dvatri / envayto (not the actual photo)
People generally don’t bat an eyelid when a parent shows physical affection to their young child. But some question whether it’s still appropriate to hug, kiss, cuddle, or tickle an older kid. Not only is it normal, say the experts—it’s actually really good. For several reasons…
Research has shown that teenagers are much less likely to seek unhealthy physical affirmation when they have regular healthy affirmation from parents. This is especially true if it comes from their dads.
“They are less likely to get into legal trouble and less likely to get into major school trouble,” notes the Hope For Your Family site. “In short, adolescents with a strong, healthy bond (marked by healthy physical affection) have a stronger sense of self and healthier boundaries.”
What this leads to is a better self-image. And, in turn, better relationships. And that’s definitely not a bad thing.
The experts over at Teen Therapy OC tend to agree. “Your kid is developing a sense of what they perceive as ‘normal’ for their adult life based on the way things work in your home,” writes therapist Lauren Goodman on the site. She explains that physical affection is an important part of love.
It’s also an area where you can make a quick impact on how your teenager feels. “If you continue to hug them and kiss them before they leave for school, sit right next to them on the couch, or rub their shoulders from time to time, you will maintain more emotional closeness,” says Goodman.
Not all teens feel the same way, though. Some get the ick when their parents get too close. But it can depend upon who sees them getting a hug, kiss, or cuddle. One survey found that 58% of moms believe it’s acceptable for a mother to show affection to her teenage son “anytime, anywhere.”
Teenage boys said, “Not true!” 59% of the teen guys polled felt that moms should only ever show them affection at home, away from the public eye.
550 U.S. moms of sons aged 10-17 took part in the Wakefield Research survey, while the same number of American boys also gave their opinions.
“It’s called love”: many netizens reassured the dad that his son’s behavior was normal
Some disagreed and felt it was totally “weird”
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What do you think ?
Mobey Drunk 11 months ago
Imagine if the genders were reversed. A dad holding his daughter would be concerned a sweet gesture. However, males are told to reject any comforting touch. So, it's weird that a son would do it. We don't need double standards, one standard will do just fine.
winterwidow87 11 months ago (edited)
The amount of people who think this is weird and has sêxual undertones is concerning. Hug your sons! (and daughters but i guess that's seen as "normal").
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 11 months ago
Direct your concern to the change in behaviour, not the behaviour itself. Maybe he's upset about something and is looking for comfort. Could be something in school, who knows.
Crystalwitch60 11 months ago
He will tell them in his own time , for now he’s looking for reassurance! Not being pushed ie he’s thinking I need to know I can rely on my dad (strange mind he don’t go to mum but 🤷♀️) that’s what he needs right now nothing more until he’s feels safe n ready to ask for help , speaking as a mother of two kids n a step mother to three times since I was 18 lol n I’m now 60 somethings def worrying him isn’t it x blessed be
Load More Replies...
Meyrin 11 months ago
Cuddle with your child ffs (regardless of gender) especially if they initiate it. If you for some strange reason You don't like it then ok your house your weirdness, but in my not so humble option cuddle whenever you get the chance. I'm seriously dreading the thought when my once would decide to stop permanently.
Dragons Exist 11 months ago
Why is physical affection being seen as sexual by some, like yeah it's very slightly weird in this case but it's just laying on the sofa
BoredPangolin 11 months ago
What makes it 100% NOT weird is that they are father and son!
Load More Replies... lenka 11 months ago
Hug that boy as much as you can! There is sooo much emotional development going on for kids at that age. He is seeking connection, grounding and emotional regulation and all of that is GOOD! If he is still coming to you for hugs it means you are still his safe space. If it is unusual for your kid to suddenly come for hugs, you might need to invest some time to make sure there are no underlying concerns. Otherwise, enjoy those hugs for as long as they come and congrats on being your kid's safe space.
Weasel Wise 11 months ago
This makes me sad that the mom is not okay with her child cuddling with his father. I would have LOVED to be able to have kind and loving interactions between myself and my parents. Let the young man engage and appreciate having loving family that isn't afraid to show such affection, ffs!
Kathy Richardson 11 months ago
When my middle son (A) was about 15 his brother told me he had been crying himself to sleep every night. He, A, finally came into my room one night and asked to sleep with me. Of course I said yes, and after talking a while he finally told me that every night as he is going to sleep he would imagine what it would be like if I died because he knew my parents had died when I was a teen (my dad when I was 13, and my mom when I was 15). I think all the hormonal upheaval going on in him contributed to this. We got through it and he was fine in a few months. Comfort your kids when they need it because you never know what's is going on with them (real or imagined) and it can really screw with their minds and emotions if ignored or berated and told to grow up.
BoredPangolin 11 months ago
1/4 of you think it's "weird" that a son and a father cuddle? Yikes! Not only I think it's totally normal, but on top of that I'd be concerned the kid is trying to reach for help about something, if he started to do that suddenly. Being unable to reach out for a hug or cuddle with a love one is a big part of men's toxicity. Just learn to show affection and life will be easier and better for everyone!
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 11 months ago
This makes me sad, I like physical affection, both with friends and family, totally platonically, but there’s such a weird culture around it. Let me hug my friends!
Paula Glasscoe 11 months ago
I hug a few folk at work, male and female, and it’s just lovely. None of them take it as anything more than a comfort and if someone did I’d absolutely respect/set them straight (depending on what their interpretation was - uncomfortable vs assuming more)
Load More Replies...
Ann Tiques 11 months ago
My family has always been very physically affectionate—kisses on the lips on arrival and departure, big squeezy hugs. In fact, in my immediate family growing up, we groomed each other like monkeys. My dad would pay us to comb his hair or rub his back til he fell asleep. I love the reassurance of physical affection. I think a lot of people don’t get enough touch and it’s not good for them or for us as a society (I get that some people don’t like or want physical affection and totally honor that).
Tom De Paul 11 months ago
Italian, by any chance? This describes my family and they're Italian.
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 11 months ago (edited)
OP is being a good and loving father to a son who may be going through something so. OP should probably find an appropriate time to calmly ask his son really, how he's doing. Son just needed to know his dad was there for him; wife is clueless.
CP 11 months ago
More people not realizing that not liking something doesn't make it wrong. "You don't like that my son is cuddly, now tell what could possibly be wrong other than your opinion." People need to realize that saying something is "just not for me" is perfectly okay and better IMO instead of telling them they are wrong.
Crystalwitch60 11 months ago
As a mother with a 21 yr old son n 24 yr old daughter , I’m 60 , he is worried about something but isn’t ready to tell you about it yet , so he’s seeking reassurance that you are still there for him no matter what ! this is A GOOD THING , please don’t push him or over think it , as n when he’s ready what ever it is he will tell you , as for the touching , hmm so so , however your wife is seeing s**t that’s not there ! so he will either speak up when he’s ready or the pure reassurance your giving him may also be enough to help him decide things NTA n ty for being a wonderful father x blessed be
Child of the Stars 11 months ago (edited)
The level of touching isn't bad or weird, but if it's unusual for him to initiate that kind of intimacy, I'd be concerned that something's up (my 12yo daughter isn't particularly physically affectionate, so when she does come for cuddles, it's always a sign that something's up). It might just be that he's feeling a little extra insecure with the social-political stuff happening and he just needs a little parental reassurance that everything's going to be ok or it might be that he's experiencing something more serious like clinical anxiety or depression and needs the reassurance of emotional support through physical contact. If he's not ready to share, that's okay; I'd bet dollars to donuts that if his dad keeps giving him this kind of reassurance, he'll eventually open up.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Stop sexualising parental hug/kisses. They tried this with the Beckhams too - apparently David was too sexual kissing his own daughter on the lips. WTF is wrong with people.
Emilu 10 months ago (edited)
Mum’s probably jelly she doesn’t get the same treatment because she has weird hangups about it being sexual etc. Dad, enjoy it and hope it lasts. Son, show love to your dad. He might not always be there, so show him you love him while you still can — I know I’d give anything to be able to show my dad that I loved him again. My small consolation was that I didn’t have to regret anything that I *had* done when he unexpectedly passed away.
Touhou Youyoumu 10 months ago
This is just sad the dad had to ask, was he wrong for showing physical affection with his son.
Karen Philpott 10 months ago
Wow, those 4 last contributor's. Just, wow. Victorian are you? So hung up on, what? Affection and love? Nothing sexual here.
Johanna Briggs 10 months ago
I was 30 and had gone through a bad split from my ex husband. I was having a really rough day between work and the 3 kids. When I got to his house he was in his chair, I just climbed in his lap cuddled and started crying. He hugged me rubbed my back while rocking in his recliner. I passed out, best nap I had had in a long time and it made me feel so much better. I have my mom, but my dad's always been my safe space. And it should be like that for all kids, they should be able to go to their dad's for anything at any age. If they need that safety feeling that a true dad gives them give it to them.
Tom De Paul 11 months ago (edited)
Women will go out of the way and WORK to find something wrong with their husband, family, son, job, boss . . . . There are too many daytime talk shows. I guess it keeps therapists employed full time.
Emilu 10 months ago (edited)
Not sure what women with which you associate, but the women in my life don’t have time for that s h i t. Have you actually met a woman? Or are you just a red-pill dude/bitter divorcee?
Load More Replies... Mobey Drunk 11 months ago
Imagine if the genders were reversed. A dad holding his daughter would be concerned a sweet gesture. However, males are told to reject any comforting touch. So, it's weird that a son would do it. We don't need double standards, one standard will do just fine.
winterwidow87 11 months ago (edited)
The amount of people who think this is weird and has sêxual undertones is concerning. Hug your sons! (and daughters but i guess that's seen as "normal").
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 11 months ago
Direct your concern to the change in behaviour, not the behaviour itself. Maybe he's upset about something and is looking for comfort. Could be something in school, who knows.
Crystalwitch60 11 months ago
He will tell them in his own time , for now he’s looking for reassurance! Not being pushed ie he’s thinking I need to know I can rely on my dad (strange mind he don’t go to mum but 🤷♀️) that’s what he needs right now nothing more until he’s feels safe n ready to ask for help , speaking as a mother of two kids n a step mother to three times since I was 18 lol n I’m now 60 somethings def worrying him isn’t it x blessed be
Load More Replies... Meyrin 11 months ago
Cuddle with your child ffs (regardless of gender) especially if they initiate it. If you for some strange reason You don't like it then ok your house your weirdness, but in my not so humble option cuddle whenever you get the chance. I'm seriously dreading the thought when my once would decide to stop permanently.
Dragons Exist 11 months ago
Why is physical affection being seen as sexual by some, like yeah it's very slightly weird in this case but it's just laying on the sofa
BoredPangolin 11 months ago
What makes it 100% NOT weird is that they are father and son!
Load More Replies... lenka 11 months ago
Hug that boy as much as you can! There is sooo much emotional development going on for kids at that age. He is seeking connection, grounding and emotional regulation and all of that is GOOD! If he is still coming to you for hugs it means you are still his safe space. If it is unusual for your kid to suddenly come for hugs, you might need to invest some time to make sure there are no underlying concerns. Otherwise, enjoy those hugs for as long as they come and congrats on being your kid's safe space.
Weasel Wise 11 months ago
This makes me sad that the mom is not okay with her child cuddling with his father. I would have LOVED to be able to have kind and loving interactions between myself and my parents. Let the young man engage and appreciate having loving family that isn't afraid to show such affection, ffs!
Kathy Richardson 11 months ago
When my middle son (A) was about 15 his brother told me he had been crying himself to sleep every night. He, A, finally came into my room one night and asked to sleep with me. Of course I said yes, and after talking a while he finally told me that every night as he is going to sleep he would imagine what it would be like if I died because he knew my parents had died when I was a teen (my dad when I was 13, and my mom when I was 15). I think all the hormonal upheaval going on in him contributed to this. We got through it and he was fine in a few months. Comfort your kids when they need it because you never know what's is going on with them (real or imagined) and it can really screw with their minds and emotions if ignored or berated and told to grow up.
BoredPangolin 11 months ago
1/4 of you think it's "weird" that a son and a father cuddle? Yikes! Not only I think it's totally normal, but on top of that I'd be concerned the kid is trying to reach for help about something, if he started to do that suddenly. Being unable to reach out for a hug or cuddle with a love one is a big part of men's toxicity. Just learn to show affection and life will be easier and better for everyone!
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 11 months ago
This makes me sad, I like physical affection, both with friends and family, totally platonically, but there’s such a weird culture around it. Let me hug my friends!
Paula Glasscoe 11 months ago
I hug a few folk at work, male and female, and it’s just lovely. None of them take it as anything more than a comfort and if someone did I’d absolutely respect/set them straight (depending on what their interpretation was - uncomfortable vs assuming more)
Load More Replies... Ann Tiques 11 months ago
My family has always been very physically affectionate—kisses on the lips on arrival and departure, big squeezy hugs. In fact, in my immediate family growing up, we groomed each other like monkeys. My dad would pay us to comb his hair or rub his back til he fell asleep. I love the reassurance of physical affection. I think a lot of people don’t get enough touch and it’s not good for them or for us as a society (I get that some people don’t like or want physical affection and totally honor that).
Tom De Paul 11 months ago
Italian, by any chance? This describes my family and they're Italian.
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 11 months ago (edited)
OP is being a good and loving father to a son who may be going through something so. OP should probably find an appropriate time to calmly ask his son really, how he's doing. Son just needed to know his dad was there for him; wife is clueless.
CP 11 months ago
More people not realizing that not liking something doesn't make it wrong. "You don't like that my son is cuddly, now tell what could possibly be wrong other than your opinion." People need to realize that saying something is "just not for me" is perfectly okay and better IMO instead of telling them they are wrong.
Crystalwitch60 11 months ago
As a mother with a 21 yr old son n 24 yr old daughter , I’m 60 , he is worried about something but isn’t ready to tell you about it yet , so he’s seeking reassurance that you are still there for him no matter what ! this is A GOOD THING , please don’t push him or over think it , as n when he’s ready what ever it is he will tell you , as for the touching , hmm so so , however your wife is seeing s**t that’s not there ! so he will either speak up when he’s ready or the pure reassurance your giving him may also be enough to help him decide things NTA n ty for being a wonderful father x blessed be
Child of the Stars 11 months ago (edited)
The level of touching isn't bad or weird, but if it's unusual for him to initiate that kind of intimacy, I'd be concerned that something's up (my 12yo daughter isn't particularly physically affectionate, so when she does come for cuddles, it's always a sign that something's up). It might just be that he's feeling a little extra insecure with the social-political stuff happening and he just needs a little parental reassurance that everything's going to be ok or it might be that he's experiencing something more serious like clinical anxiety or depression and needs the reassurance of emotional support through physical contact. If he's not ready to share, that's okay; I'd bet dollars to donuts that if his dad keeps giving him this kind of reassurance, he'll eventually open up.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Stop sexualising parental hug/kisses. They tried this with the Beckhams too - apparently David was too sexual kissing his own daughter on the lips. WTF is wrong with people.
Emilu 10 months ago (edited)
Mum’s probably jelly she doesn’t get the same treatment because she has weird hangups about it being sexual etc. Dad, enjoy it and hope it lasts. Son, show love to your dad. He might not always be there, so show him you love him while you still can — I know I’d give anything to be able to show my dad that I loved him again. My small consolation was that I didn’t have to regret anything that I *had* done when he unexpectedly passed away.
Touhou Youyoumu 10 months ago
This is just sad the dad had to ask, was he wrong for showing physical affection with his son.
Karen Philpott 10 months ago
Wow, those 4 last contributor's. Just, wow. Victorian are you? So hung up on, what? Affection and love? Nothing sexual here.
Johanna Briggs 10 months ago
I was 30 and had gone through a bad split from my ex husband. I was having a really rough day between work and the 3 kids. When I got to his house he was in his chair, I just climbed in his lap cuddled and started crying. He hugged me rubbed my back while rocking in his recliner. I passed out, best nap I had had in a long time and it made me feel so much better. I have my mom, but my dad's always been my safe space. And it should be like that for all kids, they should be able to go to their dad's for anything at any age. If they need that safety feeling that a true dad gives them give it to them.
Tom De Paul 11 months ago (edited)
Women will go out of the way and WORK to find something wrong with their husband, family, son, job, boss . . . . There are too many daytime talk shows. I guess it keeps therapists employed full time.
Emilu 10 months ago (edited)
Not sure what women with which you associate, but the women in my life don’t have time for that s h i t. Have you actually met a woman? Or are you just a red-pill dude/bitter divorcee?
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