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“We Weren’t Going To Pretend”: Man Ditches Dying Wife For His Mistress, Is Shocked To Be Exposed
When a couple decides to separate, they often brace themselves emotionally for the challenges ahead. But for children, the experience is different; they may face a mix of confusion, hurt, and anger. This can be especially difficult when a new partner enters the picture.
In one example, a teenager shared the emotional toll of attending her father’s engagement party with the woman he had an affair with during her mother’s terminal illness. Although she and her sister refused to go, their father insisted on making the event their mandatory visitation time. At the party, emotions boiled over, and the sisters openly expressed their hurt, revealing the family’s unresolved issues. Keep reading for the full story and to see how complex family dynamics unfolded in this difficult situation.
RELATED:
Divorce can be especially hard on children, and emotions can run even higher when infidelity is involved
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / Envato (not the actual photo)
A teenager shared how she called out her father’s affair at his engagement party with his new partner
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Vitolda Klein / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Defiant-Gap2084
The teen also responded to follow-up questions about her visitation rights with her father
Image credits: Elina Fairytale / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Parents are responsible for supporting their children emotionally—before, during, and after a divorce
Marrying the love of your life is a dream that many hold dear. But sometimes, life doesn’t go as planned. Even couples who seemed perfectly in sync can find that, over time, they’ve grown apart. This might lead them to reconsider their future together.
There are times when people fall out of love or find that other challenges, such as differing life goals, priorities, or values, have come between them. Whatever the reason, making the decision to separate can be incredibly difficult.
But when a relationship ends, it’s not just the couple that feels it; the whole family, especially kids, goes through the changes, too. It’s important for parents to sit down and have honest communication with their kids. They should talk to them about the separation in a way that shows they’re still loved.
And the support shouldn’t end after the separation. If a parent starts dating again, they should introduce the new partner to the kids slowly. Each family moves at its own pace, so observing how your children are adjusting after a separation is key.
Taking things slowly allows you to gauge when they might be ready to hear about your new relationship. Give the children all the time they need to feel secure with their routines before adding another change to their lives.
So, when you feel your children are ready, start the conversation with care. Family and divorce expert Ann Gold Buscho, Ph.D., emphasizes that introducing a new relationship thoughtfully can lead to positive, lasting connections. She advises, “When you are successful, you will have years to enjoy your expanded family.”
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s essential for parents to give their children time to feel comfortable with a new partner
This approach shows that timing, patience, and sincerity can help foster trust and open the door to a warm bond between your children and a new partner. It’s also helpful to be reassuring with your kids. Try explaining that this new person doesn’t change their relationship with you or with the family.
Additionally, when introducing a new partner, it’s important to ask children for their thoughts and feelings. By doing this, parents can help them feel secure and understood, which goes a long way in making the transition smoother.
However, rushing this process can backfire. Kids may end up feeling confused, anxious, or even resentful, especially if they aren’t truly ready to accept someone new. Taking the time to address these feelings and keeping communication open helps everyone adjust and strengthens the family bond.
In cases like the one mentioned, the father’s approach overlooked his children’s emotions. The author must have felt unheard and undervalued, which fueled her outburst at the engagement party. When there’s unresolved hurt, it’s only natural for children to express their frustrations, especially in emotionally charged settings. What’s your take on this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Many people online sympathized with the author’s frustration in the situation
Some felt the teenager could have approached the situation in a calmer or more thoughtful way
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What do you think ?
Stygtand 7 months ago
The “yta” needs to go suck on a sponge. You dont need to forgive people to move on, you cut them out of your life asap. This man is not a father, he is a spermdonor. Forgiveness is for people who regret, who show remorse. And even then it not a given. Some things cant be forgiven.
Tabitha 7 months ago (edited)
The s***m donor here dumped his dying—-repeat, DYING—-wife, after constantly cheating on her during their marriage, and jumped right into the arms of his side piece when his wife was diagnosed a terminal. His little brain runs his life, because his big brain is empty and his heart is a pile of s**t. He and his side piece remain clueless as to why their kids are deserting them, one by one, and they fully deserve to die alone, with no kids and grandkids visiting them, or contacting them in any way. You know her child by her first husband will go NC, and I bet the affair baby will too, once they get old enough to understand the full story, and realize their parent(s) really f****d up—-on purpose—-and aren’t the least bit sorry for it. Forgive and forget? F**k that noise.
Load More Replies...
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 7 months ago
Most of my life is over now. And I can honestly say that I have not once regretted describing honestly what people have done. I wasn't always rewarded, but looking back, it really was the best thing I could have done. Improper advance by my mother's husband(she didn't back me, years later the family paid a terrible price) and later in group counselling, a sneaky MIL, neighbour trying to steal my land (I laid it out in my objection to their planning application, they had to withdraw it, lol). Yes, no regrets, actually rather pleased. Tell it like it is, one and all, trumpet the truth.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Advice to the OP is to get an attorney. Must ensure that they get financial support for university or other start in life. Should also ensure that any portion of the mother’s assets should be given to the children. It is one thing that is often overlooked and children only have the financial rights that a court enforces. Lawyer up at the father’s expense.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago (edited)
Absolutely. I don't put it past AH dad NOT to steal their mom's money, property, etc.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 7 months ago
I'll bet OP + sis can't *wait* until the clock strikes 18 for each of their birthdays. Their s***m donor is a POS as is his wh**e. I applaud OP's outing of the cheaters at their engagement party. And they had a kid while OP's mom was dying of cancer? Sometimes you can't make this s**t up.
Sue Ellen Bowen 7 months ago
Those Saturday and Sunday visits would be the shortest visits possible. As in walk in the door, and say "hey dad you've seen us" and walking back out.
Sarah Ellison 7 months ago
"Don't meet them at their level" and "You need to learn to forgive and forget" are sentiments created by bullies so they can continue to be nasty without repercussions. I think the girls were right to speak the truth, especially since their s***m donor and his affair partner were trying to paint a life of lies right in front of them.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
Absolutely. "Continue to be our doormat for a peaceful life - for *us.*"
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 7 months ago
The father in these scenario got what he deserved. He asked OP and her sister to pretend to be happy and pleased with the circumstances when they weren't. There is no way these 2 were going to play along; dad & AP deserve to be embarrassed and shamed. There is nothing they can do to heal the hurt. Best of luck for OP and her sister going forward.
Troy Turner 7 months ago
YTAs can kick rocks with bare feet. The kids have every right to be spiteful & not go along with their charade. And for the YTAs who said that it's not their place: it is absolutely their place to say something. Especially when it directly affected them.
Stygtand 7 months ago
The “yta” needs to go suck on a sponge. You dont need to forgive people to move on, you cut them out of your life asap. This man is not a father, he is a spermdonor. Forgiveness is for people who regret, who show remorse. And even then it not a given. Some things cant be forgiven.
Tabitha 7 months ago (edited)
The s***m donor here dumped his dying—-repeat, DYING—-wife, after constantly cheating on her during their marriage, and jumped right into the arms of his side piece when his wife was diagnosed a terminal. His little brain runs his life, because his big brain is empty and his heart is a pile of s**t. He and his side piece remain clueless as to why their kids are deserting them, one by one, and they fully deserve to die alone, with no kids and grandkids visiting them, or contacting them in any way. You know her child by her first husband will go NC, and I bet the affair baby will too, once they get old enough to understand the full story, and realize their parent(s) really f****d up—-on purpose—-and aren’t the least bit sorry for it. Forgive and forget? F**k that noise.
Load More Replies... 🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 7 months ago
Most of my life is over now. And I can honestly say that I have not once regretted describing honestly what people have done. I wasn't always rewarded, but looking back, it really was the best thing I could have done. Improper advance by my mother's husband(she didn't back me, years later the family paid a terrible price) and later in group counselling, a sneaky MIL, neighbour trying to steal my land (I laid it out in my objection to their planning application, they had to withdraw it, lol). Yes, no regrets, actually rather pleased. Tell it like it is, one and all, trumpet the truth.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Advice to the OP is to get an attorney. Must ensure that they get financial support for university or other start in life. Should also ensure that any portion of the mother’s assets should be given to the children. It is one thing that is often overlooked and children only have the financial rights that a court enforces. Lawyer up at the father’s expense.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago (edited)
Absolutely. I don't put it past AH dad NOT to steal their mom's money, property, etc.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 7 months ago
I'll bet OP + sis can't *wait* until the clock strikes 18 for each of their birthdays. Their s***m donor is a POS as is his wh**e. I applaud OP's outing of the cheaters at their engagement party. And they had a kid while OP's mom was dying of cancer? Sometimes you can't make this s**t up.
Sue Ellen Bowen 7 months ago
Those Saturday and Sunday visits would be the shortest visits possible. As in walk in the door, and say "hey dad you've seen us" and walking back out.
Sarah Ellison 7 months ago
"Don't meet them at their level" and "You need to learn to forgive and forget" are sentiments created by bullies so they can continue to be nasty without repercussions. I think the girls were right to speak the truth, especially since their s***m donor and his affair partner were trying to paint a life of lies right in front of them.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
Absolutely. "Continue to be our doormat for a peaceful life - for *us.*"
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 7 months ago
The father in these scenario got what he deserved. He asked OP and her sister to pretend to be happy and pleased with the circumstances when they weren't. There is no way these 2 were going to play along; dad & AP deserve to be embarrassed and shamed. There is nothing they can do to heal the hurt. Best of luck for OP and her sister going forward.
Troy Turner 7 months ago
YTAs can kick rocks with bare feet. The kids have every right to be spiteful & not go along with their charade. And for the YTAs who said that it's not their place: it is absolutely their place to say something. Especially when it directly affected them.
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