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Huge Debate Explodes Over Swedes’ Refusal to Feed Their Children’s Guests, And Here’re 30 Foreigners’ Best Reactions
In the past days, Sweden has been the center of controversy with the hashtag #Swedengate all over Twitter. It all started from an innocent question “What is the weirdest thing you had to do at someone else’s house because of their culture/religion?” which the redditor u/sebastian25525 posed on Ask Reddit.
One particular response caught everyone’s attention. “I remember going to my Swedish friend's house,” one person wrote. “And while we were playing in his room, his mom yelled that dinner was ready. And check this. He told me to WAIT in his room while they ate,” the redditor shared. The post received 31.8k upvotes, spreading like wildfire all across social media.
Many people just couldn’t wrap their head around the fact that the Swedish don’t feed their children’s guests and were eager to find out whether it’s actually true. What followed was an infinite amount of shares, reactions, memes and experiences from Swedes themselves. So let’s see what they had to say below!
Image credits: SamQari
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#3
Kimberley McMillan 4 years ago
This happened to my dad and grandfather when they went to visit old family friends in Scotland during my grandfather's last international trip. Popped in to visit. The friend had maybe an hour's notice and it was only supposed to be a short visit. The friend then proceeded to bring out this enormous platter of sandwiches they made during the hour before my dad and grandfather showed up.
#4
#6
Raumpfleger 4 years ago (edited)
Married to a Greek wife, lmao over this! On our first visits to her relatives I was constantly shouted at. 90% of all cases was about me being expected to eat something/more.
#8
Paul C. 4 years ago (edited)
I was a grown-a*s man about 28 and after a Sunday football match was driving past my mums on the way to the pub and needed the loo. Went in, followed by two cars full of blokes needing to go as well (we had already had a drink in the clubhouse). Are you boys hungry? says mum. Within five minutes there was enough sandwiches to feed an army. They were devoured as if a plague of locusts had blown through. "Hey PC your mums a Diamond" Yes I know! She passed a few years ago now but people still mention it to me.
#13
Random Panda 4 years ago
True, my parents are very close friends with a family that is rich (we met them before they made their fortune) and we always ate something at home whenever they invited us over for dinner. They are very nice otherwise though.
#15
Tobias Reaper 4 years ago
my friends family used to do this when i stayed over and they are not Swedish they would say if you stay here you shouldn't expect to get fed
#19
Jessie Jess 4 years ago
This is me currently ... 430am and have to be up in an hour and a half to get my kids ready for school! But I'm in complete shock this is a thing!
#21
WoodenLion 4 years ago
hopefully sweden will be fully recovered quickly. flower's & snow - right?
#22
WoodenLion 4 years ago
no kidding - i thought everything was flowers and snow in sweden. {it's just culture though i think} still, ya' gotta' feed them little hungry folk.
#24
Francine Govan 4 years ago
Do kids bring sandwiches with them so they don't, y'know .... STARVE? Swedish sleepovers seem like they'd be the WORST!
#25
MAL 4 years ago
As a Midwesterner in the US, this is baffling. We don't even ask if you're hungry. At the very least a plate of cheese, crackers, and sausage will be out for everyone to snack on at all times. If you're at our place at dinner time, we just automatically set you a place and usually stuff you so full you can't move afterwards. Then we give you leftovers to take home.
#27
Shelli Aderman 4 years ago
My Jewish mother’s soul is on fire! COME TO MY HOUSE, I WILL FEED YOU ALL! 💕
#34
#39
Remi Flynne 4 years ago
Is it the difference between a child visiting, and unexpected, and not one that is invited over? I'd find that easier to understand, just about. Would still find it impossible to not offer them something! I remember my parents making a meal stretch when there was a friend around at the same time as dinner - we were poor and it wasn't amazing but we all ate!
#40
(T)reacherou(S) 4 years ago
Right! I've only had this happen in two familys and both was a bit richer than average
#42
Rebekah Krause 4 years ago
So send the kids home. At my (midwestern.American)house the norm was kids stayed until about a half hour before dinner unless they were staying for dinner. Also if a concern is they have dinner at home that would go to waste the logic of letting them sit in your home alone for the meal while you eat is insane. This was the 1980s so we also roamed around with friends and went from house to house on our bikes
#44
Kathi Schäffer 4 years ago
I'm German and my friend is Irish (living in Germany). She said one of the biggest differences is that when someone asks you if you (for example) fancy a slice of cake, Irish people will go "oh no, thanks, I couldn't" multiple times before accepting (because that's what's expected). Whereas a German will just go "oh yes, thank you". Can confirm 😄
#45
Sarah Moeding 4 years ago
The hell you say. Swedish meatballs are soft and rich, the lingonberry or chokecherry jam tart but sweet, the white gravy on the boiled potatoes the pinnacle of comfort food.
#46
#48
Lupita Nyong'heaux 4 years ago
as a black american southerner, i heartily co-sign this statement. black people will feed you whether you hungry or not. if you at the house, you eating - periodt.
#49
#53
Random Panda 4 years ago
That's pretty normal, not everyone can afford to feed their kid's friends. Sending them home, instead of having them sit in the other room while you eat, is the right thing to do.
#55
Rebekah Krause 4 years ago
Then you send the kid home or call the other parents and see if it iis ok to feed them. This approach is rude, cruel, and stupid.
#57
Random Panda 4 years ago
Do Swedes cook every evening? Where I'm from it's normal to cook enough food for 2-3 days, cooking every day is such a chore. So you'd always have extra for unexpected guests, and if you don't you whip up something qucik, because hospitality.
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What do you think ?
TheElderNom 4 years ago (edited)
I am Swedish, half Danish on my father's side but my mother's side is as Swedish as can be and I've lived my entire life in Sweden. And I really don't get what's going on here. Visiting children generally went home at dinnertime unless they stayed the night and then they of course got dinner and breakfast. But as long as their parents were okay with it they could stay for dinner (or lunch during school holidays).
Vuun 4 years ago
Same in Finland, but the thing is that all families don't have their dinner at the same time, so sometimes you'd happen to be at a friend's place at their dinnertime, which is before or after your own dinnertime.
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Paul Davis 4 years ago
I can understand not wanting to feed someone else's kid without their parents' permission - but it's mind-boggling that a century after the invention of the telephone this hasn't had an impact - like that they would typically call and ask the parent for permission.
Vuun 4 years ago
I can see how it would be difficult to understand this mindset from a different cultural perspective. Try thinking of food as clothes. If another parent called you and asked if it's OK to buy your kid this jacket that he/she likes, you'd feel compelled to say "yes", but you would probably feel weird and undermined about it. So, it's better to not even offer. Having said that, it's not a perfect analogy and it's not too uncommon to call and ask for permission to feed a kid.
Load More Replies... Vuun 4 years ago (edited)
So, demonazing other people's culture is OK now? As some pointed out above, this is about not being rude to the visiting kids' parents. The default is that you spend dinner times eating with your family. I know my mom would have been a little taken aback had I told her that I'm not eating the food she prepared, because I already ate at my friend's place. Sleepovers are a different thing of course, and the bit in the op about not getting breakfast is a weird anomaly.
Faith Treiss 4 years ago
But all the ones where kids were staying the night or going to be playing until late and STILL did not even receive a snack dont make sense
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TheElderNom 4 years ago (edited)
I am Swedish, half Danish on my father's side but my mother's side is as Swedish as can be and I've lived my entire life in Sweden. And I really don't get what's going on here. Visiting children generally went home at dinnertime unless they stayed the night and then they of course got dinner and breakfast. But as long as their parents were okay with it they could stay for dinner (or lunch during school holidays).
Vuun 4 years ago
Same in Finland, but the thing is that all families don't have their dinner at the same time, so sometimes you'd happen to be at a friend's place at their dinnertime, which is before or after your own dinnertime.
Load More Replies... Paul Davis 4 years ago
I can understand not wanting to feed someone else's kid without their parents' permission - but it's mind-boggling that a century after the invention of the telephone this hasn't had an impact - like that they would typically call and ask the parent for permission.
Vuun 4 years ago
I can see how it would be difficult to understand this mindset from a different cultural perspective. Try thinking of food as clothes. If another parent called you and asked if it's OK to buy your kid this jacket that he/she likes, you'd feel compelled to say "yes", but you would probably feel weird and undermined about it. So, it's better to not even offer. Having said that, it's not a perfect analogy and it's not too uncommon to call and ask for permission to feed a kid.
Load More Replies... Vuun 4 years ago (edited)
So, demonazing other people's culture is OK now? As some pointed out above, this is about not being rude to the visiting kids' parents. The default is that you spend dinner times eating with your family. I know my mom would have been a little taken aback had I told her that I'm not eating the food she prepared, because I already ate at my friend's place. Sleepovers are a different thing of course, and the bit in the op about not getting breakfast is a weird anomaly.
Faith Treiss 4 years ago
But all the ones where kids were staying the night or going to be playing until late and STILL did not even receive a snack dont make sense
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