Mom’s New Boyfriend Crosses The Line, Gets Pepper-Sprayed By Teen He Walked In On

The point is, she set up boundaries and he ignored them. She told him not to do her laundry he repeatedly ignored it. Also, if you're a 40-something-year-old man who lives with his partner, you don't walk into her 18-year-old daughter's room unannounced and without knocking. You just don't. Again, everyone who ways YTA should touch grass.

NTA. If she had time to find and unlock the pepper spray, he was IN her room longer than an ‘oops, sorry didn’t realize you were in here’ accident. If she had to drag him out, he made his way inside the room while she was dressing. Those are super ped-o moves. Get out of there and take the sister with you.

He definitely should have knocked, however the reaction seems over the top. Especially because she has not written what is actually creeping her out with this guy.

Ok, so this post was deemed fake and the account has been suspended. OP has a history of karma farming via posts intended to grab sympathy and/or stir up debate. They have made similar posts saying they were going to fill her room with guns given by her grandfather, that she was so proficient in judo that she was thinking of joining the Olympic team, etc. She also has a history of trying to bury any inconvenient questions. Questions such as being in the confined space of a bedroom wasn't she affected by the pepper spray, how was she able to effectively yell at him, etc. And wouldn't she have had to temporarily move out of the room for awhile while it was cleaned & pepper spray removed from all of the cloth surfaces.

Why do i get the impression that the guy was set up and she was waiting with the pepper spray in hand, also doesn't help that angry dad is also fueling her teen rage. Not condoning his actions of entering their personal space without permission, but i think someone was a little too happy in macing, dragging and shouting at said target

This is deliberately missing too many key notes to determine whether she behaved in an appropriate manner. It reads like she made herself into an ambush, knowing he had some pretext to come in. (was he dropping off laundry, did not know she was there, etc)

Forced to call be on this one. This person has obviously never used pepper spray, especially in an enclosed space.

You told him not to come into your room. He came into your room anyway and got pepper sprayed. Your mother’s new boyfriend coming into your room without knocking after being told not to is super creepy and while pepper spraying is a bit extreme, it definitely made your point. No apologies and warn your sister. If he’s a good guy, he will have learned his lesson. If he is a bad guy, he will move on to an easier mark (that may be your sister so be prepared) or he will double down. Loop in your dad and be prepared.

Impossible to really know for sure without having met them or seen them interact but I'm going with not the A-hole. Look, it is possible that she is overacting and he is just being absent minded, but whose behaviour really needs to change here? As an adult coming into a partners house who has children you have to be sensitive to how you make them feel, and he is failing. I think the mum really needs to talk to him about this, reinforcing the need for him to respect their boundaries; it's important that the message does not become that HE was the victim and that the daughter needs to respect his right to go in and out of her room as he pleases. One other thing I'm pretty absent minded at times, but someone would not need to tell me twice not to do their laundry, what is up with that?

ETA. He's the AH for entering without knocking. That's a huge matter of respect. You don't enter someone's personal space without warning or permission. This is living with people 101. I don't care if his reason innocent. It changes nothing. But she's the AH for going to such extremes. This sounds like a first time offense and a huge escalation. No idea who's teaching her this is an appropriate reaction but they're wrong. Yes, she had every right to defend her space, but do so with words. Don't take actions unless the verbal warnings aren't adhered to. And taking it to such physical levels is absurd, let alone further threats.

I'm buying pepper spray today to be ready for these YTA wíenies.

All these people saying there's not enough info to tell if she was in the right: seriously? She keeps her laundry in her own hamper, in her room, and has asked him not to touch it -- he comes into her room, deliberately violating that request, and takes her laundry anyway. She asks him never to enter her room without knocking -- he ignores that and enters anyway. He keeps trying to "parent" her as well -- even though she is 18. This IS creepy and violating behavior. As a man, he shouldn't be entering the private space of ANY teen or adult woman without permission. While she doesn't give further details, the way he acts makes her feel unsafe, not only for herself, but her sister. So this is not an "oops, my bad" on his part. This is him repeatedly crossing boundaries so frequently that she feels like she needs to keep her pepper spray nearby. That doesn't happen in a vacuum. If she were the mother's 18 year old female roommate, would this behavior still look ok to you?

I would guess she warned him verbally before letting rip. If he didn't back down or challenged her to do it after that he deserved all he had coming to him.

No. This is classic groomer/pedo behaviour. Massive red flags. Doing the laundry of a young girl you don't know and have no relationship with is freaking unhinged. Trying to parent a teenager you aren't related to, aren't even a stepparent of, who already has a father is a complete violation of boundaries. (And extremely common behaviour for pedophiles.) And walking into a teenage girl's bedroom without knocking is a huge red flag.

NTA, though pepper spraying him was a bit of an overreaction. She should have tried to throw him out of her room first. BUT I'm big on trusting gut feelings. The biggest mistakes in life I made when I had a bad feeling about something, however illogical it seemed at the time, but in the end it was ALWAYS right and I regretted not trusting it quite a few times. Better safe than sorry.

NTA, this is way fúcked up!!!

What is so hard to understand about the issue with him doing her laundry? He creeps her out and she doesn't want him touching her underwear. Why else is he so obsessed with doing her laundry when shés asked him not to?

NTA. He opened a teen girl's door without knocking, knowing full well it was closed for a reason, because who can't figure that out? The daughters hardly know this man, but he's moved in? And doesn't work? Believe your gut instinct in situations like this. He's a creep.

Don't listen to those saying you over reacted. Trust me when I say a grown man with good intentions does not ever walk into his own daughters bedroom at your age much less someone who isn't even his daughter. He sounds like an unemployed free loader who has a thing for young girls and your mother needs to get a clue before something happens. Tell your father now.

"I pepper sprayed him right in the face like I have been instructed" Who felt it necessary to instruct her keep pepper spray to use on him? If it's to that point, she needs to get herself out of there, and get her dad fighting for custody of her little sister.

After reading these comments I can clearly tell that some of you aren't exactly the brightest crayon in the box & should stay FAR away from children at all times (don't have any either). Or your reading comprehension is 100% pure s**t & need to go back to school. OP is indeed NTA & had every right to pepper spray a creepy homeless bum she doesn't know from a hole in the wall. That her desperate for bum d**k mother moved in to avoid being alone. Clearly that is more important than both her daughters wellbeing & safety. OP repeatedly told her mother's bumfriend NOT to touch her laundry which she keeps mostly in a hamper in HER room. This creep (not a man) is obviously a habitual over the line stepper, who is severely hardheaded since continuously go in her room for her laundry WITHOUT knocking or her permission to do so. That much energy should be towards looking for employment to be honest instead of hell bent on "doing laundry".

Physical assault as a reaction? I am missing a lot of info. Did he now she was changing? How long have they been living together? I don't knock on my kids doors (they are under 12) but am starting to, but I very often forget. It takes time to learn a new behaviour. He should not walk in without knocking and if she doesn't want her laundry beying done, then I'd say don't do it. But does stupid behaviour warrant physical violence? Would it be ok if she was walking in on him, and he'd pepperspray her? It is a too one sided story to draw any conclusions. So I'm not lynching anyone till I know the facts.

The people saying YTA are just the girl's mom and her mom's boyfriend making several alt accs. NTA!!

NTA, if this guy literally can't be trusted with other people's laundry because he does gods what with it, he shouldn't even be allowed around minors. The OP should keep a close eye on her sister since he's just 14, as an 18y.o. she has experiences someone that young doesn't. And shame on the mother for bringing a homeless, jobless creep into her kids lives.

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In this instance, I'd say pepper spray those who said YTA!!! Basic preservation instinct shouldn't be something frowned upon, much less in the case of two girls, one barely an adult and one just starting to be a teen. Always knock first and stay away where you are not welcomed. SMH to YTA and that sh*tty excuse of a man-craving "mother"!!!

OP's mother moved a convicted felon into the home with two teen females and he is unemployed. Well isn't that a recipe for disaster. OP and sister should seek to live with their father. They are not safe and their mother is irresponsible.