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Mom Tells Son’s Black GF She Doesn’t Need To Change Her Hair For Him, Son Totally Explodes On Mom
Teenage years are already complicated as it is. Then, when you throw in something like a first relationship, it gets even more complicated. And in today’s story, even race played a part in the whole ordeal.
Basically, a 14-year-old white boy started dating a 13-year-old black girl. The relationship seemed wholesome enough until the boy’s mom noticed that the girl lost her usual spark. Sadly, it turns out it had to do with her son and his vision of what is cool for black people.
More info: Reddit
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If teenage years themselves aren’t complicated enough, things such as first relationships are bound to bring some complications
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A 14-year-old boy started dating a bubbly social butterfly 13-year-old girl
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Then, the boy’s mom noticed that seemingly out of the blue, the girl lost all her spark
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Turns out, she hated going out with her natural hair, but her boyfriend insisted it looked cooler this way, even though it made her uncomfortable
Image credits: AntTiny890
The woman told the girl she shouldn’t do what makes her uncomfy just because a boy wants it, which later made her son explode and lecture her about race
The OP is a white woman in her late 30s who has a 14-year-old son. Recently, the boy started dating a 13-year-old girl.
Some might say that dating at such a young age is way too early. Experts say that there’s nothing wrong with young teens starting to date, as long as it doesn’t cross any boundaries. After all, most commonly dating at such an age usually is stuff like holding hands, spending time together in school and outside it.
Either way, the OP clearly thinks that her son is mature enough to have a girlfriend similar to his age. Yet, after the story that she described in the post, she might reconsider that.
The boy’s girlfriend is African American. Believe us, it’s relevant to the story, or we wouldn’t be bringing race up. Usually, the girl is a bubbly social butterfly; she smiles and talks a lot.
Then, seemingly out of the blue, she lost her spark and started appearing way less confident than before. Not only that – she lost her wig, makeup, and jewelry.
One day, the woman was about to drive the lovebirds to a party, but the girl seemed like she was dreading going there. So, the OP asked her what was wrong. Apparently, the girl feels uncomfortable showing her natural hair, but since her boyfriend insisted she looks cooler this way, she does it.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Wigs are ingrained in the history of black women, from showing their status in society to pieces of performance. Nowadays, they usually wear them either as a stylistic choice, protecting natural hair for growth, or coping with hair loss. It’s up to a woman to decide whether she wants to wear a wig or not.
The thing is that the girl in the story wants to wear one, but complies with what her boyfriend wants, which makes her insecure. That’s why the original poster told her that she shouldn’t do anything that makes her uncomfortable just to make a boy like her.
Coincidentally, such a thought also makes a great lesson about consent overall, not only when it comes to hair, which really fits into the topic of young relationships we discussed a little earlier.
Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end here. Days after this conversation, the woman’s son came up to her, all angry, and started lecturing her on advising black girls about their looks. He even called her an overbearing mom and a Karen. This made the woman wonder – maybe she really crossed a line?
Well, netizens didn’t think so. They pointed out the irony in the boy’s words – according to him, a white woman can’t consult a black girl, but a white boy can order her what to do?
Also, some African American women came to the comments to applaud the woman for giving the girl back some of the confidence she was stripped of. The conclusion was clear – the only one who crossed the line here was the boy, not his mom.
What do you think? Do you agree with the netizens’ consensus? Share all of your thoughts in the comments!
When the woman asked online if she crossed a line, just like her son says, the netizens said she didn’t and even pointed out the irony in the boy’s words
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What do you think ?
sweet emotion 3 months ago
She should have immediately told her son that he is the one in the wrong for trying to control his girlfriend's looks. A good parent would put a stop to that kind of behavior before it can take root and lead to worse misogynistic behavior.
Petra Peitsch 3 months ago (edited)
Hm, at 13-14 years old I was busy with my playmates ... but I see and understand times goes faster nowadays. Just saying, because for me is a bit of surreal, that 13-14 years old kids are having already "relationship - problems". Anyway, mom caught this in time, she has still 4-5 years to teach her kid, minding his own business and let people as they want to be, is the most wise thing, he can do, because the universe doesn't spinning around his wishes, likes and wants.
Nova Rook 3 months ago
It was good advice and well intentioned. generic enough that ethnicity doesn't really factor in. "Be yourself". Her son is young and will figure this out, he has a good mom. Side note - I'm always blown away when I see a black woman with a wig (always on tv, movies or fail videos). I can never spot it and I never think of it - but google says half of black women wear a wig sometimes!
sweet emotion 3 months ago
She should have immediately told her son that he is the one in the wrong for trying to control his girlfriend's looks. A good parent would put a stop to that kind of behavior before it can take root and lead to worse misogynistic behavior.
Petra Peitsch 3 months ago (edited)
Hm, at 13-14 years old I was busy with my playmates ... but I see and understand times goes faster nowadays. Just saying, because for me is a bit of surreal, that 13-14 years old kids are having already "relationship - problems". Anyway, mom caught this in time, she has still 4-5 years to teach her kid, minding his own business and let people as they want to be, is the most wise thing, he can do, because the universe doesn't spinning around his wishes, likes and wants.
Nova Rook 3 months ago
It was good advice and well intentioned. generic enough that ethnicity doesn't really factor in. "Be yourself". Her son is young and will figure this out, he has a good mom. Side note - I'm always blown away when I see a black woman with a wig (always on tv, movies or fail videos). I can never spot it and I never think of it - but google says half of black women wear a wig sometimes!
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