Hermann Oppenheim, a leading neurologist in the nineteenth century in Germany, had many accolades to his name. He was the author of a textbook on neurological diseases, considered one of the best textbooks of all time. He also published significant works on topics ranging from alcoholism to syphilis and many others. By reading this far, you might wonder what Hermann has to do with skeleton puns but bear with me. Not only was Oppenheim famous for his treatises on traumatic neuroses, but he had also reviewed the definition of Witzelsucht. Saving you from any further confusion, Witzelsucht (joke addiction in German) is a set of pure and rare neurological symptoms characterized by a tendency to unwillingly tell puns, lame jokes, or pointless stories at the most inappropriate times. And while I definitely do not have Witzelsucht, I am an absolute sucker for puns, especially the ones I mutter at the most awkward times (...waaaait a moment...). Anywho, for the love of puns, Bored Panda is dedicating this extensive list to any and all wordplay that's oh-so-appropriate for the Halloween season. And without any more teasing, here it goes - a bone-rattling mash of skeleton puns!
To make it even more fun and educational, we've talked to David McInnis, an Associate Professor of Shakespeare and Early Modern Drama working at The University of Melbourne, Australia. As you might've guessed, his primary interest is Shakespeare, which basically makes him an expert on puns - let me remind you that Shakespeare used around 3,000 puns in his plays. That, and the fact that he has published a thorough and delightful article called 'The Power of The Pun," which you can read right here. So scroll down below, check out these un-bone-lievably spooky skeleton puns and read the highly entertaining and enlightening interview Professor David McInnis so kindly supplied.
This post may include affiliate links.
What's a skeleton's least favorite room in a house?
The living room
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs
First of all, we asked Professor McInnis to share his thoughts on puns' popularity and elaborate on whether it's the play part or the it-makes-you-feel-smart part of puns that people find so alluring. And here's what he had to say. "I suppose some people might use puns to make themselves feel smarter, but I tend to think the joy of puns lies in the sharing of a journey or experience. The person who makes the pun anticipates how the other person will understand it in the first instance and enjoys watching the dawning realization of the double-meaning."
He also added that "Yes, it's skillful -- to find two words that sound alike, but whose different meanings can both function intelligibly in the same sentence can be quite the achievement. But it's only a success if the listener gets the joke (hence it's a bonding exercise of sorts)." See, this explains everything - puns are so popular because they encircle many things that we, as humans, love. Shared experiences, laughter, and brain-teasers are the things that can instantly create a bond between people, so don't feel awkward if you ever feel the urge to blurt out a pun.
Skeletons make very poor miners.
They can never go deeper than six feet under.
*clears archeological throat* ACTUALLY with sediment buildup over the years.... yeah I get that it's a joke though
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party?
He had no body to go with
The next question that I asked has been keeping me awake at night for years, and to get an answer to it was like to itch an unreachable scratch. The thing that I so desperately wanted to know was why the lamer the pun, the funnier we find it. And thanks to Professor McInnis, I can now rest at night, knowing that "I'm a sucker for awful puns (I wonder, for example, what fool called it 'sparkling wine' instead of 'sham-pagne'). I think the worse the pun, the less risk of pretentiousness. But also, the worse the pun, the more it calls attention to the game being played -- we're seeing language being strained, almost breaking the rules, and to see the craft of communication being stretched is quite fun."
There's also another side to puns besides them being belly achingly funny, and Professor McInnis has kindly elaborated on that while also expanding our knowledge on the glorious works of Shakespeare. "There's a serious side to this too, I suppose: think of the opening scene of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, where two of the Capulets are making a series of just terrible puns about coal, colliers, choler, collars, etc. -- I don't think we're meant to find it funny; it's symptomatic of the breakdown of society, the failure of language and signification, and is thus an ominous foreshadowing of the civil strife that characterizes the play."
Lastly, I wanted to know whether Professor David McInnis had a favorite pun, to which he replied, "So many favorite puns to choose from... But rather than something funny, I think my favorite pun would have to be serious, and whose rhetorical effect is just a killer way to start a Shakespeare play: the opening lines of Richard III, spoken by Gloucester: 'Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer by this sun of York...' (where you get the metaphor of sunshine cutting through the winter cold and the 'son' of York transforming fortunes in war)." See, this means you can even use puns in your business emails without being snickered at! That is, if your writing expertise matches that of Shakespeare, I presume.
Thank you, Prof. David McInnis, for talking to us and delivering this excellent information on puns. I know I've learned a lot of useful information and will continue to use puns with more background added. And now, scroll down below, and check out the rest of our bone-dry skeleton puns!
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in the sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew
What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road?
Jump out of your skin and join him
The favorite mode of travel for skeleton pilots is—wait for it—the scareplane or the skelecopter.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
What did the skeleton doctor say when his patient had a temperature of 101.7 degrees?
I'm afraid you're running a femur
The skeleton had no choice but to plead guilty, the police had found the skeletons in his closet.
Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school?
He just didn't have the stomach for it
