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14
Woman Has Only One Job At Sister’s Gender Reveal, Fails It And Doesn’t Get What’s The Issue
People celebrate the arrival of a new life differently. Some choose to have baby showers, others want to find out the gender of their baby in a fun way and opt for gender reveal parties. These occasions bring family members and friends together, but they can also go awry because of the same family members.
The culprit of this gender reveal party fiasco was the mom-to-be’s nephew. Although she repeatedly asked her sister to make sure the devil child wouldn’t cause any trouble, the worst still happened. So, after vowing never to invite them to anything ever again, she checked in with netizens whether her reaction was too harsh.
RELATED:
After her nephew ruined a gender reveal party, this woman banned him and his mom from future parties
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman sought validation for her decision online: was she overreacting or was the tween out of line
Image credits: Irina Novikova / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anonymous
Permissive parenting can often result in acting out and delinquency
From what the author describes here, her sister seems to be quite a permissive parent. These kinds of parents rarely use any disciplinary actions and allow their kids to do all kinds of shenanigans without consequences.
Permissive parents are usually very loving and nurturing to their children. In some cases, as the OP describes, they can do no wrong in their parents’ eyes. If they establish any rules, they are usually inconsistent. For instance, the sister probably told her son to stay at her side at all times in this situation, yet did nothing when he disobeyed.
Experts say that an effect of permissive parenting can be delinquency and even substance abuse in the future. One study found that children raised by permissive parents were more likely to engage in misconduct. When such children don’t get what they want or face emotionally difficult situations, they may seem less understanding and even show aggression.
As many commenters pointed out, unruly behavior in tweens only gets more difficult with age. Behaviors like stealing at such a young age can signal a more serious behavioral problem. This is especially true when coupled with other troubling patterns like breaking windows and suspensions from school.
Image credits: Oleksandr P / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many criticize gender reveal parties for reinforcing the gender binary and being unsafe
People generally have mixed feelings about gender reveal parties. A 2018 YouGov survey revealed that 35% of Americans think they are “unnecessary” and 28% called them “silly.” The Brits have similar opinions: 46.5% think they are “silly.” Still, 13% of the respondents in Britain said they would have a gender reveal party.
Many people bash gender reveal parties as a concept. Some say they’re outdated because they reinforce the gender binary. But more people hate on them because some examples of gender reveal parties in the past have been quite dangerous.
In 2019, a Florida woman tragically passed away after a piece of shrapnel from a homemade explosive struck her in the head. Other gender reveal parties had some unfortunate consequences for the environment. In 2020, one such party resulted in a massive wildfire in California. A crop dusting plane crash in Texas injured a person in a gender reveal gone wrong in 2019.
Even the woman who started the gender reveal party trend now says they should be obsolete and unnecessary. The woman, Jenna Myers Karvunidis, even likened the trend to inventing gunpowder. Her daughter Bianca, for whom the party was meant at the time, is now a teen and doesn’t exactly conform to gender standards.
“Bianca tells me there are more than two genders and many sexualities. I hadn’t considered all this before,” Karvunidis told The Guardian. “At least when the child is born, you are getting all the information at once: the sex, the colour of their hair, who they look like, how long they are, what their heart rate is,” Karvunidis went on. “With the gender-reveal, you’ve isolated one aspect of this person. When it gets elevated as being central to your identity, that’s problematic.”
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many people showed sympathy for the woman, saying that the child is clearly out of control
Others questioned the theme of the party and gender reveals in general
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What do you think ?
Hphizzle 1 year ago
Regardless of the event, the kid and his mom are a huge problem. I wouldn’t invite them to anything again if the kid was going to be there.
Tyke 1 year ago
Agreed. OP deserves an apology, but frankly so does the friend who went to great lengths to organise all of this. She must have been devastated.
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Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago
As a nurse, she knows there are times when a disease is rampant and drastic action must be taken in order to preserve life (ex amputating an arm to save the person). Your nephew is toxic. Your sister is toxic. You MIL is dangerous. Cut them out of your life to preserve your health.
Momma Jess 1 year ago
Gender reveal parties are dumb, in my opinion, but that doesn't give someone else the right to ruin it for the people having them...
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
The whole gender reveal thing is still weird to me. I'm old though. When my mom was pregnant with me, there was one ultrasound machine in the entire state and my parents couldn't afford to make the trip to OHSU in Portland. The best the hospital had in rural Eastern Oregon was an EKG. They measured my heartbeat and determined I was likely going to be a girl but they weren't sure. My parents chose a non-gendered name and I came out a boy. I'm pretty much the last generation where people don't know until actual birth. Just wanted to share that. Also that kid is a total a-hole and he's going to get a severe rude awakening when real life slaps him.
Coffee 1 year ago
Yeah, but let people enjoy stuff if they're not hurting anyone.
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TribbleThinking 1 year ago
It solves the problem of having this walking crime scene anywhere near your home or baby. You do realise that if you keep in touch, 5 years from now, you'll be driving to a police station with a 4 year old strapped in the car to bail out an 18 year old as his mother is otherwise occupied with dealing with some crisis he's caused?
Dangerous Dave 1 year ago
The OP is most certainly NTA, and had every right to feel and express her outrage. More broadly, while we cannot choose who is in our family, we can absolutely choose who we include and exclude from our lives - whether they are within or outside our family. The adage that ‘blood is thicker than water’ is nonsense. I worked in a nursing home before going back to complete university, grad school, and saw innumerable aged parents sitting weeks, months, years waiting for visits from children that never came. I’ve seen some of the greatest cruelty inflicted on people not by strangers or acquaintances, but by their family members. I’ve had to cut off immediate family for repeated and unapologetic toxic behavior - as I would anyone. The criterion for who include or exclude from your life should not be blood - but, instead, behavior. Does, or does the person not, act towards you (and others) with love, respect and integrity? The OP needs to decide on which side her sister sits.
painttheyellowsubgreen 1 year ago
I have a phrase that I absolutely love. It applies to situations like this, and anywhere else anyone says, "but family..." to excuse shirty behavior. Blood is thicker than water, but water runs clear. OPs friend and OPs husband, those are the clear. People who love you and may not be related but blood but you choose them. Those people who are always on your side.
Load More Replies... My “in my head” Voice 1 year ago
I'm not a fan of "gender reveal" parties, but if that's what she wanted, she had a right to have it. With the ugly family dynamics created by her father, I'm surprised OP is a decent-sounding person (and NTA). Go NC with that train wreck. I have a sister whose grandson is another no-discipline wonder. I moved to get away. You're not obligated to those people for anything.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Kid is toxic, mom is enabling, i'd go NC until they go to therapy and work out for themselves how problematic they are. A gender reveal like this is a once in a lifetime thing. I'm really not for gender reveals but so long as they are not harming anyone or the environment, knock yourselves out. And as a lover of crime and forensics, this one sounds pretty special. He ruined that and a relationship with his aunt. D******d.
Roan The Demon Kitty 1 year ago
the irony of a prison themed gender reveal.. that nephew is the one that'll be in prison in the near future the way he's allowed to carry on.
Old but wiser 1 year ago
That Mom is not being a Mom to the 13yo who's a big burden to society now. I don't understand why a parent refuses to discipline a kid and a 13 year old should know better. The nephew is going to be a criminal who's likely to cause problems in every social setting.. Idiot parenting.
Phobrek 1 year ago
I was just curious about how/when gender reveal parties started, and if anyone else is curious, from wikipedia: The gender reveal party developed in the late 2000s. An early example was recorded in the 2008 posts of then-pregnant Jenna Karvunidis on her ChicagoNow blog High Gloss and Sauce announcing the sex of her fetus via a cake; she had previously had several miscarriages and wished to celebrate that her pregnancy had developed to the point that the sex of the fetus could be determined.[6][7] YouTube videos can be found as early as 2008 and 2009, becoming significant around 2011, after which the trend continued to grow through the 2010s.[8][2]
Phobrek 1 year ago
In 2019, Karvunidis observed an increase in extreme reveal events over the preceding five years, with parents "burning down forests and exploding cars, bringing alligators into the mix". She expressed regret at having helped start the trend, learning how the LGBT and intersex communities feel, and finally revealing the daughter they announced back in 2008 to be a gender-nonconforming individual who wears suits while still identifying as female.[6] After the 2020 El Dorado Fire was started by a malfunctioning pyrotechnical device at a gender reveal party, Karvunidis pleaded for people to stop staging such events.
Load More Replies... Melissa anderson 1 year ago
The kid was suspended from school 4 times in about 6weeks and his mother doesn’t think he has a major problem? Major parental failure!
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
This lady had the perfect setup to burn and embarrass that kid so bad he would never screw up at a family function again. Kids a tiny criminal, her reveal setup was a tiny jail cell... I would've laughed my a*s off while constantly pointing out to sister and anyone who would listen that your child is so eager to be a criminal that he wants to break INTO jail, even if it's a fake jail made of cake.
OpheliaPoe 1 year ago
I understand why people have strong feelings about gender reveal parties. We didn't have a party but did a reveal at a family event (we cut a cake). It took 5 minutes and it was a fun lighthearted moment. For us it was about knowing what our baby's name would be and we then started calling him by his name. We went through years of infertility and were so excited and grateful to be having a baby. Girl, boy, it didn't matter to us. When you're pregnant you don't know much about your child, knowing their sex just lets you connect with them by knowing something about them. I know there are a lot of people out there who place a value on their child depending on what sex they are and there are people who take gender reveals too far and do something dangerous or harmful. I hate seeing the mess of confetti in public places that people leave behind. I get it. Some people are just thoughtless. And it gives all reveals a bad reputation.
Pete Andrews 1 year ago
A huge drama that could have been avoided if only she had just sent a text.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
So I agree that the kid didn't behave, the mother was not helpful, but also, do you think people care about thebsex of your baby? People just came to be supportive/have a party. No one cares if it's a boy or a girl.
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
So I agree that the kid didn't behave, but also, do you think people care about the words you post on the internet? People just come here for shits and giggles. No one cares about your stupid opinions.
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Vinnie 1 year ago
Now for the logistics: Misdemeanor? Felony? Special forces? The regular cops? Hotline? Emergency line? Fines? Prison?
Load More Replies... 
Alexia 1 year ago (edited)
People can organize their parties however they want, as long as it's not illegal, and they are not hurting/ insulting/ bothering anyone. Last time I checked, it was (still) a free country. Actually, the most unfortunate (and scary) thing about this post is how some people don't see a big deal with the spoiled child's (soon-to-be teenager') behavior or his defense by the relatives.
Load More Replies... Vinnie 1 year ago
That's not why the boy caused the problem - no matter the theme, he would have behaved badly. I can see the irony here of criminal behaviour at a "crime scene", but it doesn't give anyone the right to ruin the parents' fun and their friend's hard work.
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Sivi 1 year ago
This one was harmless though, no fire at all. Just those smoke powerder confetti canon stuff and i am guessing possible done indoors.
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Zedrapazia 1 year ago
Whilst I'm not a fan of gender reveal parties myself either, I see no reason to harbor any ill intent against what the OP was doing here. I mean, it's basically a puzzle solving and clue hunting evening with the baby's gender being the solution, this is harmless fun. It won't cause a forest fire and it won't tarnish a water supply with dye either, this hatred of yours goes too far. It's cruel to wish these people to have their party ruined.
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Hphizzle 1 year ago
Regardless of the event, the kid and his mom are a huge problem. I wouldn’t invite them to anything again if the kid was going to be there.
Tyke 1 year ago
Agreed. OP deserves an apology, but frankly so does the friend who went to great lengths to organise all of this. She must have been devastated.
Load More Replies... Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago
As a nurse, she knows there are times when a disease is rampant and drastic action must be taken in order to preserve life (ex amputating an arm to save the person). Your nephew is toxic. Your sister is toxic. You MIL is dangerous. Cut them out of your life to preserve your health.
Momma Jess 1 year ago
Gender reveal parties are dumb, in my opinion, but that doesn't give someone else the right to ruin it for the people having them...
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
The whole gender reveal thing is still weird to me. I'm old though. When my mom was pregnant with me, there was one ultrasound machine in the entire state and my parents couldn't afford to make the trip to OHSU in Portland. The best the hospital had in rural Eastern Oregon was an EKG. They measured my heartbeat and determined I was likely going to be a girl but they weren't sure. My parents chose a non-gendered name and I came out a boy. I'm pretty much the last generation where people don't know until actual birth. Just wanted to share that. Also that kid is a total a-hole and he's going to get a severe rude awakening when real life slaps him.
Coffee 1 year ago
Yeah, but let people enjoy stuff if they're not hurting anyone.
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 1 year ago
It solves the problem of having this walking crime scene anywhere near your home or baby. You do realise that if you keep in touch, 5 years from now, you'll be driving to a police station with a 4 year old strapped in the car to bail out an 18 year old as his mother is otherwise occupied with dealing with some crisis he's caused?
Dangerous Dave 1 year ago
The OP is most certainly NTA, and had every right to feel and express her outrage. More broadly, while we cannot choose who is in our family, we can absolutely choose who we include and exclude from our lives - whether they are within or outside our family. The adage that ‘blood is thicker than water’ is nonsense. I worked in a nursing home before going back to complete university, grad school, and saw innumerable aged parents sitting weeks, months, years waiting for visits from children that never came. I’ve seen some of the greatest cruelty inflicted on people not by strangers or acquaintances, but by their family members. I’ve had to cut off immediate family for repeated and unapologetic toxic behavior - as I would anyone. The criterion for who include or exclude from your life should not be blood - but, instead, behavior. Does, or does the person not, act towards you (and others) with love, respect and integrity? The OP needs to decide on which side her sister sits.
painttheyellowsubgreen 1 year ago
I have a phrase that I absolutely love. It applies to situations like this, and anywhere else anyone says, "but family..." to excuse shirty behavior. Blood is thicker than water, but water runs clear. OPs friend and OPs husband, those are the clear. People who love you and may not be related but blood but you choose them. Those people who are always on your side.
Load More Replies... My “in my head” Voice 1 year ago
I'm not a fan of "gender reveal" parties, but if that's what she wanted, she had a right to have it. With the ugly family dynamics created by her father, I'm surprised OP is a decent-sounding person (and NTA). Go NC with that train wreck. I have a sister whose grandson is another no-discipline wonder. I moved to get away. You're not obligated to those people for anything.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Kid is toxic, mom is enabling, i'd go NC until they go to therapy and work out for themselves how problematic they are. A gender reveal like this is a once in a lifetime thing. I'm really not for gender reveals but so long as they are not harming anyone or the environment, knock yourselves out. And as a lover of crime and forensics, this one sounds pretty special. He ruined that and a relationship with his aunt. D******d.
Roan The Demon Kitty 1 year ago
the irony of a prison themed gender reveal.. that nephew is the one that'll be in prison in the near future the way he's allowed to carry on.
Old but wiser 1 year ago
That Mom is not being a Mom to the 13yo who's a big burden to society now. I don't understand why a parent refuses to discipline a kid and a 13 year old should know better. The nephew is going to be a criminal who's likely to cause problems in every social setting.. Idiot parenting.
Phobrek 1 year ago
I was just curious about how/when gender reveal parties started, and if anyone else is curious, from wikipedia: The gender reveal party developed in the late 2000s. An early example was recorded in the 2008 posts of then-pregnant Jenna Karvunidis on her ChicagoNow blog High Gloss and Sauce announcing the sex of her fetus via a cake; she had previously had several miscarriages and wished to celebrate that her pregnancy had developed to the point that the sex of the fetus could be determined.[6][7] YouTube videos can be found as early as 2008 and 2009, becoming significant around 2011, after which the trend continued to grow through the 2010s.[8][2]
Phobrek 1 year ago
In 2019, Karvunidis observed an increase in extreme reveal events over the preceding five years, with parents "burning down forests and exploding cars, bringing alligators into the mix". She expressed regret at having helped start the trend, learning how the LGBT and intersex communities feel, and finally revealing the daughter they announced back in 2008 to be a gender-nonconforming individual who wears suits while still identifying as female.[6] After the 2020 El Dorado Fire was started by a malfunctioning pyrotechnical device at a gender reveal party, Karvunidis pleaded for people to stop staging such events.
Load More Replies... Melissa anderson 1 year ago
The kid was suspended from school 4 times in about 6weeks and his mother doesn’t think he has a major problem? Major parental failure!
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
This lady had the perfect setup to burn and embarrass that kid so bad he would never screw up at a family function again. Kids a tiny criminal, her reveal setup was a tiny jail cell... I would've laughed my a*s off while constantly pointing out to sister and anyone who would listen that your child is so eager to be a criminal that he wants to break INTO jail, even if it's a fake jail made of cake.
OpheliaPoe 1 year ago
I understand why people have strong feelings about gender reveal parties. We didn't have a party but did a reveal at a family event (we cut a cake). It took 5 minutes and it was a fun lighthearted moment. For us it was about knowing what our baby's name would be and we then started calling him by his name. We went through years of infertility and were so excited and grateful to be having a baby. Girl, boy, it didn't matter to us. When you're pregnant you don't know much about your child, knowing their sex just lets you connect with them by knowing something about them. I know there are a lot of people out there who place a value on their child depending on what sex they are and there are people who take gender reveals too far and do something dangerous or harmful. I hate seeing the mess of confetti in public places that people leave behind. I get it. Some people are just thoughtless. And it gives all reveals a bad reputation.
Pete Andrews 1 year ago
A huge drama that could have been avoided if only she had just sent a text.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
So I agree that the kid didn't behave, the mother was not helpful, but also, do you think people care about thebsex of your baby? People just came to be supportive/have a party. No one cares if it's a boy or a girl.
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
So I agree that the kid didn't behave, but also, do you think people care about the words you post on the internet? People just come here for shits and giggles. No one cares about your stupid opinions.
Load More Replies... Vinnie 1 year ago
Now for the logistics: Misdemeanor? Felony? Special forces? The regular cops? Hotline? Emergency line? Fines? Prison?
Load More Replies... Alexia 1 year ago (edited)
People can organize their parties however they want, as long as it's not illegal, and they are not hurting/ insulting/ bothering anyone. Last time I checked, it was (still) a free country. Actually, the most unfortunate (and scary) thing about this post is how some people don't see a big deal with the spoiled child's (soon-to-be teenager') behavior or his defense by the relatives.
Load More Replies... Vinnie 1 year ago
That's not why the boy caused the problem - no matter the theme, he would have behaved badly. I can see the irony here of criminal behaviour at a "crime scene", but it doesn't give anyone the right to ruin the parents' fun and their friend's hard work.
Load More Replies... Sivi 1 year ago
This one was harmless though, no fire at all. Just those smoke powerder confetti canon stuff and i am guessing possible done indoors.
Load More Replies... Zedrapazia 1 year ago
Whilst I'm not a fan of gender reveal parties myself either, I see no reason to harbor any ill intent against what the OP was doing here. I mean, it's basically a puzzle solving and clue hunting evening with the baby's gender being the solution, this is harmless fun. It won't cause a forest fire and it won't tarnish a water supply with dye either, this hatred of yours goes too far. It's cruel to wish these people to have their party ruined.
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