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SIL Demands Gay BIL Be Cut Out Of Will Completely For Not Having Kids, He’s Livid
In the Middle Ages, having or not having children was considered nearly the most important factor in determining the heirs of royal dynasties – simply because back then, centuries ago, the very survival of the monarchy often depended on it. Things are completely different nowadays, but you can still find people who think in terms of those ancient times.
The story we are going to tell you today comes from the user u/Status-Point4605 and took place quite recently. His sister-in-law tried to redraw his parents’ will—while they were still alive—simply because he is child-free. And, in this woman’s opinion, he is thereby unworthy of being the executor of the family estate
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post is the eldest of two brothers, he’s gay and prefers to stay child-free
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The younger brother is straight and married, and they plan to have kids with his wife
Image credits: Status-Point4605
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The brothers’ parents are quite well-off and recently they offered the author to become the trustee of their estate
Image credits: Status-Point4605
Image credits: Silga Be / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, it turned out later that the author’s sister-in-law was mad about this decision, claiming that a childless guy can’t be the family estate trustee anyway
Image credits: Status-Point4605
The lady stated that the family bloodline has a ‘dead end’ in him, so the only worthy people to become trustees are herself and her husband
The Original poster (OP) tells us that his parents are already of elderly age and have retired, although they have amassed a good fortune during their work years. In fact, they have several million dollars in liquid and illiquid assets. Our hero has a background in finance, so his parents recently offered him to become the executor/trustee of their estate. And here’s where the problem occurred…
The author is the elder of two brothers, he’s gay and he and his boyfriend decided to stay child-free. At the same time, the younger brother is married, and he and his wife are planning to have kids. And it turned out that the sister-in-law has recently been actively persuading her husband to coax his parents to change the trustee of their estate and appoint him and his wife.
The reason? According to this lady, since the OP is childless, the bloodline in his branch will inevitably be interrupted, and the only ones who can continue the family legacy are the brother and his spouse, as they plan to have kids in the future. Accordingly, the SIL believes that the original poster has no right to dispose of the family fortune, and in general he should be cut out of the will.
As we can see, the author’s sister-in-law thinks that his childlessness is an obstacle to the effective preservation and increase of the family fortune. At least, that’s what she declares. In turn, our hero sincerely believes that his personal life and beliefs in no way make him less worthy of being the executor of the will. Especially when his parents are still alive and quite well.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“I strongly suspect that the key factor here is not the childlessness of this man, but the size of his parents’ fortune,” muses Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch with for a comment here. “In other words, in order to lay hands on this money, the woman is ready to badmouth him anyway.”
“For some reason it seems that if the older brother had children, this lady would have come up with another reason why he is ‘unworthy’ of being the trustee here. Selfishness, disguised as commitment to family values - that’s the main motive of this story, I believe. Especially since this woman herself has no kids, and she only plans to have them.”
“Be that as it may, all this looks very suspicious and totally inappropriate, so let’s hope that the parents will not heed her demands,” Irina sums up. By the way, many commenters also believe that there is something fishy here. For example, what if this woman, having received the right to manage the family inheritance, then divorces her husband?
In any case, the responders literally urge the original poster not to succumb to any provocations from his SIL. By and large, the presence or absence of kids in no way affects financial skills, knowledge, and experience in managing assets. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this viewpoint? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below this post.
People in the comments backed the author, telling that his sister-in-law’s pretentions are completely disregarding and inappropriate at least
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What do you think ?
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 11 months ago (edited)
Little Miss Grabby is already spending unsustainably. As she can't manage her own money, she should not be allowed near anyone else's. Advise your parents to structure their will so that your brother's portion is always to him and his progeny, is divorce proof and she is specifically excluded bar a nominal $5,000 to make their stance on her clear. As for your portion, the normal form for a fond uncle is to leave a large chunk of his estate to his niblings, payable upon reaching 30, with provisions for college expenses, and excluding their mother. I've disinherited my grabby family, but have a caring adopted family who I have provided for in this manner in my will.
Sunny Day 11 months ago
Wonder what "we deserve it all" excuse she'll come up with when she finds out she & hubby can't have kids.
Tabitha 11 months ago
Also sounds like the parents know it, which is why they chose OP, and not his brother, as executor.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 11 months ago
Hope OP's parents ban SIL from any estate planning talks. It's really none of her business. Since OP has the finance background, it makes sense for him to be executor for his parents.
Libstak 11 months ago
As a childless aunt, any guesses where my assets are going end up when I pass? My nephew and nieces of course. SIL has no right to even open her mouth, what a gold digging biatch. With the unsustainable spending already going on, I see a divorce happening well before any kids come along.
Romy Rösli 11 months ago
And there will be no legacy for the potential kids because SIL will spend it all.
Load More Replies...
Sue Ellen Bowen 11 months ago
Sorry, but SIL doesn't have a dog in this fight. The parents get to decide how to divide their assets and she just needs to shut her yap.
Otto Katz 11 months ago
First of all, family should NEVER be executors. Too much room for shennanigans! Second of all, Who's to say Gay Son won't leave whatever family heirlooms she's so concerned about won't be passed down to her kids? Third of all, NONE of this is ANY OF HER BUSINESS! They're NOT HER PARENTS! SHE doesn't GET A SAY! back off, lady!
Barry Reinitz 11 months ago
No a family member should be included somehow in the process as ive known families whove been taken advantage of by financial institutions of all kinds including banks and fiducary businesses
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 11 months ago
My parents' inheritance was split equally between me and my 2 brothers. Only one of us has children; they'll cop for most of my and my brother's estate anyway. It depends what the OP does with their share. It is, however, absolutely nothing whatever to do with the SIL, who should stay out of the whole thing, she's not blood and doesn't get a say unless the parents give it to her.
Romy Rösli 11 months ago
F*ck the greedy b*tch! It’s not about the legacy she just wants it all for herself. She doesn’t even know if she and hubby can have kids.
Ruth Watry 11 months ago
I am one of seven, and my siblings with kids tried to tell my parents that their entire estate should go to the grandkids which would have left me and one of my sisters with nothing. Fortunately, my parents did not listen to them (I have not gotten a present from a sibling in over two decades, because they decided that only kids could get presents).
FlamingRed 11 months ago
Is OP seriously asking if they're TAH? This woman isn't even a blood relative! I'd tell her, "This is absolutely none of your effing business, and you need to take a big step back."
6v284rjvmh 11 months ago
So the SIL wants to jepordise a bond between 2 brothers and her future kids with their uncle that should be healthy long after their parents have died… what a terrible move. My grandmother was left everything in her mother’s will as her mother and my great aunt weren’t speaking when she died. My grandmother told the lawyer to give half to my great aunt and never told her the will said otherwise. In doing so she left a legacy of fairness over greed that has passed on to her kids. I have a childless gay brother, there is no way in hell I’d let him have anything less than half and he’d do exactly the same for me. And thankfully both our partners and my kids think exactly the same way.
Liz Rutherford 11 months ago
It's not her money and not her family. If Mom and dad want to split it, then that's their business. SIL crossed way over the line. So what if you don't have kids. My husband and I have been married 10 years and don't have kids (I'm unable), but my BIL's aren't screaming at my folks about money or a "legacy". She needs to kick rocks.
Kate Johnson 11 months ago
I would tell SIL "You have right to your opinion, but you're only a part of this family through marriage, and that could always change, so really it's none of your business. Though I will say I find your obviously money grubbing pretty gross."
Ryan-James O'Driscoll 11 months ago
They're not even dead yet and the carcass is being picked clean. Perhaps I am missing something, but I expect nothing from my parents. I want them to live and enjoy their lives. I will get some of whatever is leftover. I'm certainly not against people who want to get their affairs in order before they die, but people treating inheritance as an entitlement or a windfall will never not strike me as morbid and sad. Whatever is left once a person dies should be given to whoever the deceased wants, for whatever reason they want. It is not for anyone else to make up reasons for why that should change.
Barry Reinitz 11 months ago
Two seperate issues. As a gay retired banker it is the job of the executor to increase and protect the assets. It is not to rrproduce. If there are any children ever they should and will get it after the grandparents arw gone or after the next genetation is gone. As a hay man you are being bullied and i will take away your toaster oven if you fold on this issue. From all youve said you have the qualifications to do the job properly
Stannous Flouride 11 months ago
Her bigotry and greed are showing in her choice of words and previous behavior with her husband.
Gozer LeGozerian 11 months ago
Brother still has time to divorce that leech before any potential spawn arrives
sweet emotion 11 months ago
I would nope right out of that conversation. It is the parents' wishes that will be written into their wills and trust agreements, and a good lawyer will make sure those documents are air-tight. SIL can go suck eggs.
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
I'm not having kids, my gay brother is not having kids, my father is still dividing between current wife (#4) and his 3 true blood kids. The step got his mother's (#3) inheritance.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 11 months ago (edited)
Little Miss Grabby is already spending unsustainably. As she can't manage her own money, she should not be allowed near anyone else's. Advise your parents to structure their will so that your brother's portion is always to him and his progeny, is divorce proof and she is specifically excluded bar a nominal $5,000 to make their stance on her clear. As for your portion, the normal form for a fond uncle is to leave a large chunk of his estate to his niblings, payable upon reaching 30, with provisions for college expenses, and excluding their mother. I've disinherited my grabby family, but have a caring adopted family who I have provided for in this manner in my will.
Sunny Day 11 months ago
Wonder what "we deserve it all" excuse she'll come up with when she finds out she & hubby can't have kids.
Tabitha 11 months ago
Also sounds like the parents know it, which is why they chose OP, and not his brother, as executor.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 11 months ago
Hope OP's parents ban SIL from any estate planning talks. It's really none of her business. Since OP has the finance background, it makes sense for him to be executor for his parents.
Libstak 11 months ago
As a childless aunt, any guesses where my assets are going end up when I pass? My nephew and nieces of course. SIL has no right to even open her mouth, what a gold digging biatch. With the unsustainable spending already going on, I see a divorce happening well before any kids come along.
Romy Rösli 11 months ago
And there will be no legacy for the potential kids because SIL will spend it all.
Load More Replies... Sue Ellen Bowen 11 months ago
Sorry, but SIL doesn't have a dog in this fight. The parents get to decide how to divide their assets and she just needs to shut her yap.
Otto Katz 11 months ago
First of all, family should NEVER be executors. Too much room for shennanigans! Second of all, Who's to say Gay Son won't leave whatever family heirlooms she's so concerned about won't be passed down to her kids? Third of all, NONE of this is ANY OF HER BUSINESS! They're NOT HER PARENTS! SHE doesn't GET A SAY! back off, lady!
Barry Reinitz 11 months ago
No a family member should be included somehow in the process as ive known families whove been taken advantage of by financial institutions of all kinds including banks and fiducary businesses
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 11 months ago
My parents' inheritance was split equally between me and my 2 brothers. Only one of us has children; they'll cop for most of my and my brother's estate anyway. It depends what the OP does with their share. It is, however, absolutely nothing whatever to do with the SIL, who should stay out of the whole thing, she's not blood and doesn't get a say unless the parents give it to her.
Romy Rösli 11 months ago
F*ck the greedy b*tch! It’s not about the legacy she just wants it all for herself. She doesn’t even know if she and hubby can have kids.
Ruth Watry 11 months ago
I am one of seven, and my siblings with kids tried to tell my parents that their entire estate should go to the grandkids which would have left me and one of my sisters with nothing. Fortunately, my parents did not listen to them (I have not gotten a present from a sibling in over two decades, because they decided that only kids could get presents).
FlamingRed 11 months ago
Is OP seriously asking if they're TAH? This woman isn't even a blood relative! I'd tell her, "This is absolutely none of your effing business, and you need to take a big step back."
6v284rjvmh 11 months ago
So the SIL wants to jepordise a bond between 2 brothers and her future kids with their uncle that should be healthy long after their parents have died… what a terrible move. My grandmother was left everything in her mother’s will as her mother and my great aunt weren’t speaking when she died. My grandmother told the lawyer to give half to my great aunt and never told her the will said otherwise. In doing so she left a legacy of fairness over greed that has passed on to her kids. I have a childless gay brother, there is no way in hell I’d let him have anything less than half and he’d do exactly the same for me. And thankfully both our partners and my kids think exactly the same way.
Liz Rutherford 11 months ago
It's not her money and not her family. If Mom and dad want to split it, then that's their business. SIL crossed way over the line. So what if you don't have kids. My husband and I have been married 10 years and don't have kids (I'm unable), but my BIL's aren't screaming at my folks about money or a "legacy". She needs to kick rocks.
Kate Johnson 11 months ago
I would tell SIL "You have right to your opinion, but you're only a part of this family through marriage, and that could always change, so really it's none of your business. Though I will say I find your obviously money grubbing pretty gross."
Ryan-James O'Driscoll 11 months ago
They're not even dead yet and the carcass is being picked clean. Perhaps I am missing something, but I expect nothing from my parents. I want them to live and enjoy their lives. I will get some of whatever is leftover. I'm certainly not against people who want to get their affairs in order before they die, but people treating inheritance as an entitlement or a windfall will never not strike me as morbid and sad. Whatever is left once a person dies should be given to whoever the deceased wants, for whatever reason they want. It is not for anyone else to make up reasons for why that should change.
Barry Reinitz 11 months ago
Two seperate issues. As a gay retired banker it is the job of the executor to increase and protect the assets. It is not to rrproduce. If there are any children ever they should and will get it after the grandparents arw gone or after the next genetation is gone. As a hay man you are being bullied and i will take away your toaster oven if you fold on this issue. From all youve said you have the qualifications to do the job properly
Stannous Flouride 11 months ago
Her bigotry and greed are showing in her choice of words and previous behavior with her husband.
Gozer LeGozerian 11 months ago
Brother still has time to divorce that leech before any potential spawn arrives
sweet emotion 11 months ago
I would nope right out of that conversation. It is the parents' wishes that will be written into their wills and trust agreements, and a good lawyer will make sure those documents are air-tight. SIL can go suck eggs.
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
I'm not having kids, my gay brother is not having kids, my father is still dividing between current wife (#4) and his 3 true blood kids. The step got his mother's (#3) inheritance.
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