Woman Ponders: “AITAH For Telling My SIL Her Son Is No Longer Invited To My House, Ever?”
Do you like hosting holidays? Personally, I love it – perhaps even more than visiting someone myself. It’s so great to create a warm atmosphere for pleasant people, treat them to something tasty, have a heart-to-heart talk about all sorts of interesting things…
Of course, if the guests are really pleasant to talk to. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Especially when these guests turn out to be one of your relatives. As was the case, for example, with the user u/RestaurantFair9097, the author of our story today.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has been married for 2 years and she is 18 weeks pregnant with her first baby
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The author’s spouse has a sister and 2 nephews, a 15 Y.O. and a 6 Y.O.
Image credits: u/RestaurantFair9097
The elder son is a problem person, having issues (even legal ones) with alcohol and not only that
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/RestaurantFair9097
Recently both boys stayed at the author’s house, and the teen got into fight with his uncle – and even shoved the pregnant woman into the wall
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/RestaurantFair9097
The result was banning the teen from visiting the spouses’ home – but his mom, however, got offended by this decision
So, the Original Poster (OP) is a 26-year-old married woman, and she’s currently 18 weeks pregnant. Sometimes the husband’s sister and her two sons come to visit the author and her husband. The youngest boy is 6 years old, and he’s very polite and well-mannered, but unfortunately, this cannot be said about the older one, 15-year-old “Riley”.
The original poster doesn’t go into detail, but she does say that Riley has literally had problems with alcohol and even worse substances since he was a kid. The teenager has also had legal issues, and he has already undergone therapy more than once to cope with all this stuff.
One fine day, the SIL and her husband asked the author to let the children stay at their home while they went to a friend’s funeral. They agreed – however, at some point, Riley didn’t like that his uncle moved his jacket, and he started yelling at him. An argument ensued and the woman intervened, asking the teen to leave to calm down a bit.
He agreed, but when they were walking along the corridor together, Riley suddenly changed his mind and, forcefully shoving the author away, rushed back into the room to continue the conflict with his uncle. The OP hit a jacket hook with her head hard enough to draw blood.
This was the last straw for both spouses. The husband took Riley to a hotel, and the author spent the night in the house with her frightened and sobbing younger nephew. The next day, the OP told her SIL that Riley was becoming persona non grata in their home, and her spouse fully supported her. The boys’ mom, in turn, believes that this is unfair to her eldest son, so, despite numerous apologies, she’s still offended by this decision.
Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual photo)
“To be honest, I don’t quite understand what exactly this woman’s SIL was offended by,” muses Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. “She wanted the same treatment for her two children? But the younger son didn’t show any aggression towards relatives, didn’t push the pregnant woman into the wall. His older brother did all this – and rightfully received a ban on visiting their home.”
“Moreover, as I get it, the victims in this situation didn’t report him to the police, so as not to aggravate the already difficult situation for the troubled teenager. So his mother should be grateful for this, and not offended. And actually to do her best in order to protect the son from even bigger problems in the future,” Irina concludes.
The vast majority of commenters on the original post also massively supported the author, arguing that she and her husband made the absolutely right decision in banning the aggressive teen from coming into their home. “He physically assaulted you, a pregnant woman. Who’s to say he won’t assault your baby after they’re born?” one of the commenters pondered reasonably.
By the way, some people in the comments also suspect (and I’ll tell you, not without reason) that Riley had his own reason to start a quarrel with his uncle on seemingly completely inappropriate grounds. “He had something illegal in his jacket, guaranteed,” one person claimed. In any case, the teen got what he deserved, the commenters are sure. “Kiddo needs a break from reality at home! Punishment definitely shouldn’t cover both brothers,” another person added. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this?
People in the comments unanimously sided with the spouses, and even suspected that the teen had his own reason to get into a fight with the uncle
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Absolutely NTA, but I'm really damn worried for the brother who's forced to live with that aggressive shitbag
This! My brother had serious mental health issues. They were controllable at first, but with the added stress of school, they gradually got out of hand. He was extremely abusive towards me, and I was never safe in our home. Mom and Dad didn't understand that I wasn't safe, although I didn't know that then. They were both busy working their donkeys off so we could eat. I loved my brother very much, but it took a long time to forgive him. It took even longer to forgive my parents. That little boy is in for a world of hurt. I wash I could rescue him.
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NTA...he obviously had something in his jacket pocket that he didn't want found or taken. That's the only reason I can think of as to why he would get upset and want to fight your husband...that's adict behavior. Now home pushing you, knowing you are pregnant should get an immediate ban from ever setting foot in that house again...at least until he got help and resolved his issues, so that was the right call..safety was at risk and yeah, it or similar would happen again. His mom needs to get on to of this before it really gets out of control.
I'm not defending his behavior, however, Riley is still a child with a mother who is not taking his mental issues seriously. He needs help and his mother is endangering him and others by not seeing that.
Agree, "never" is wrong; "in this state/in the foreseeable future" it should be. But that's nuances.
Load More Replies... Absolutely NTA, but I'm really damn worried for the brother who's forced to live with that aggressive shitbag
This! My brother had serious mental health issues. They were controllable at first, but with the added stress of school, they gradually got out of hand. He was extremely abusive towards me, and I was never safe in our home. Mom and Dad didn't understand that I wasn't safe, although I didn't know that then. They were both busy working their donkeys off so we could eat. I loved my brother very much, but it took a long time to forgive him. It took even longer to forgive my parents. That little boy is in for a world of hurt. I wash I could rescue him.
Load More Replies... NTA...he obviously had something in his jacket pocket that he didn't want found or taken. That's the only reason I can think of as to why he would get upset and want to fight your husband...that's adict behavior. Now home pushing you, knowing you are pregnant should get an immediate ban from ever setting foot in that house again...at least until he got help and resolved his issues, so that was the right call..safety was at risk and yeah, it or similar would happen again. His mom needs to get on to of this before it really gets out of control.
I'm not defending his behavior, however, Riley is still a child with a mother who is not taking his mental issues seriously. He needs help and his mother is endangering him and others by not seeing that.
Agree, "never" is wrong; "in this state/in the foreseeable future" it should be. But that's nuances.
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