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We form some of the strongest bonds with the people we grow up with, basically, our siblings. As we stay together, we constantly quarrel about small things like toys, food, who is mom’s or dad’s favorite, etc. Quarrels between siblings remain constant but the reasons change as we grow up. While some siblings grow out of these quarrels, there are a few siblings who like to impose their opinions on another sibling.
The Redditor in this story talks about how his siblings expect him to childproof his house for their kids. This angers him as it’s his own house that he bought to live in with his sick parent. And when he refused to do so, his siblings called him inconsiderate and tried to impose their opinions on him.
More info: Reddit
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The poster is a single man with no kids whose parent is very sick, and as no one else offered, he took his parent in to live with him in a new house
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
He wishes to furnish his new house, which has turned into a place for the whole family to congregate, however, his siblings are pushing him to make it kid-friendly
Image credits: u/monstargaryen
Image credits: Max Vakhtbovycn (not the actual photo)
He’s annoyed because he wants to get the furniture of his choice and he thinks that his siblings should either look after their kids or not bring them to his house
Image credits: u/monstargaryen
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
Siblings call the man inconsiderate but he tells them that they should look after their own kids instead of telling him what to buy
Image credits: u/monstargaryen
In this story, Redditor Monstargaryen talked about his trouble with his siblings. He started by mentioning that he is a single-income person with no kids but has a very sick parent. As no one else in the family offered, he took in his parent to live with him. And he was quite happy about it.
As he got a new house for himself and his parent to live in, he wanted to furnish it to his liking. But now, his house has become the family spot where everyone gathers and his siblings have issues with his furnishing choices. They have been pushing him really hard to make his house kid-friendly just for their kids.
And guess what happened? He got really annoyed about it, and understandably so! When people buy a new house, they have this image in their heads about how they want their perfect house to be. And when denied this dream, despite having your own house, anyone would be frustrated.
OP mentioned how he didn’t have any desire to bubble-wrap things and just wanted to display and buy whatever he wanted. Also, he pointed out that he didn’t want to buy some boring couch so that it wouldn’t be too much if the siblings’ kids easily destroyed it.
And when he told his siblings that he didn’t want to cater things to their kids’ habits, they said that he was not being “considerate”. They even went on to accuse him of keeping him from visiting their sick parent just because he wasn’t childproofing his house
This must have frustrated him further and he told them that they or their significant other had to look after the kids here or at their own houses instead of telling him what to buy. He stressed that as long as he pays the bills, he will furnish it the way he wants.
Then he vented online and asked Redditors if he was the jerk for not allowing his siblings and their kids to decide what to buy for his own house. And the Redditors all came to his rescue!
Image credits: Vika Glitter (not the actual photo)
They claimed that his siblings cannot impose their opinions on the poster in this way. It’s his house and he is the one who gets to decide how to furnish it. Author and self-esteem and relationship coach Natalie Lue mentions that when someone is imposing something upon you, they’re trying to remove your choice and overstepping your boundaries.
Netizens also pointed out that he needs to set boundaries with his siblings and if they want to bring their kids, they should control them and not let them destroy anything in the house. Stanford University states, “Boundaries help determine what is and is not okay in a relationship–whether that be with friends, partners, co-workers, bosses, or family members. Ideally, we put them in place to protect our well-being. They help us to build trust, safety, and respect in relationships.”
As the Redditors said, it looks like the poster should consider setting these boundaries. Some folks also pointed out the parenting habits of the poster’s siblings. They said that the siblings should keep a watchful eye on their kids and ask them to behave properly before they destroy something. According to Healthline, when children have little or no discipline, these are signs of bad parenting. Such kids are left to fend for themselves, which can result in injuries and also create children who don’t understand boundaries.
From all the input given by peeps online, it looks like the siblings need to discipline their kids rather than impose their opinions on the man and tell him how to furnish his own house. They are not only annoying the poster, but their bad parenting is also having a negative impact on their kids. PsychCentral states that kids with no discipline can develop issues like no control over limits and pushing them. They also have a higher likelihood of breaking the law when growing up, which sounds quite distressing.
By the looks of it, the poster setting boundaries against his siblings and their kids sounds like the healthiest solution. However, the siblings’ willingness to accept these boundaries can also be questioned. Some commentators also went on to suggest that he should bill his siblings if their kids break anything. But before we jump over to the comments, we would like to hear from you. How did you feel after reading this? Do you think the poster is in the right? Don’t forget to let us know in the comments!
Folks online backed him up and declared that he was not in the wrong, instead the siblings should get their own kids in line
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago (edited)
OP should just get a play pen or dog kennel and offer it as an alternative to supervising the children. How can a couch be dangerous or not suitable for kids? Is it made of knives?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I think the couch comment was said not as the couch was dangerous, but that the siblings are "concerned" that if OP gets a nice couch, their crotch goblins would ruin it/destroy it, so they're insisting OP gets child-proof couches. I like your idea about the dog kennel - OP should fence off a portion of the backyard like a dog run, add in some roofing and dog houses (wouldn't want the little monsters to not have shade/a place to hide from inclement weather) and be like "Sure, throw your kids in there while you're here!" to their siblings XD
Load More Replies...
Rens 1 year ago
Many years ago my first boyfriend and I were living in a place together, no kids, just us and our cats. Both his older sisters were obnoxious and didn't raise their kids to have any manners. I had previously told them that if they came around for any reason, they'd better bring something to amuse their children because I was not going to have them running around terrorising the cats. Low and behold, both sisters turn up with five kids in total and because they didn't bother bringing anything to amuse their kids, I made the kids sit in a row with their noses to the wall. They never bothered to come around again. It was my apartment, my rules.
Nancy Leticia Cervantes 1 year ago (edited)
Noses to the wall cuz they misbehaved? Or just cuz? genuinely asking.
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 1 year ago
Notice also that the parent isn’t chiming in on the lazy parents’ side here. In fact, notice how the parent isn’t chiming in at all, though I would bet good money their lazy parent kids have been trying to draw them into the debate. But I would also bet, if the parent had to choose a side, they’d side with OP, the only one of all their children who was actually there for them when they truly needed someone.
Nancy Leticia Cervantes 1 year ago
I sure hope they're not bothering the sick parent about this! If I were in OP's position and found out they even thought of dragging them into any drama or conflict, they'll be lucky if I even allow them over at all.....
Load More Replies...
antoinette maldari 1 year ago
The best advice I saw was to have the siblings pick up the parent and take them to their own home if OP's childproofed. Done.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Funny, when my family took care of my grandmother at my childhood home, nobody came to visit. Does OP have magical unicorn family members who actually WANT to visit their elderly/sick relative? ...oh wait, it was just MY family members who are awful people XD The same thing happened after my dad's accident, too - NO one in the family came to see him (we took care of him at home for 21 years, until he died.) Honestly, though, I feel like OP's siblings WILL visit their ill parent for a little while, then they'll suddenly just stop doing so. They'll start making excuses, saying they're too busy, etc. Am I just cynical? :(
Rowboat 1 year ago
I'd rather they stayed away rather than showing up so they can say they visited instead of actually being helpful or caring. My mum, stepdad, and I currently care for my nan and the only time we see other relatives is when they show up at short notice for an hour or two just to say they've been. That leaves mum and I scrambling to host them just so they can turn around and leave the second nan needs any actual care or the two hour time limit is up. Mum's at her wits end and neither of her siblings, or any of mine (we're all adults), will step in to give us a break because that would mean doing more than a courtesy call or a flying visit and yet nan still thinks they're all wonderful because they drop by once in a blue moon. -_-
Load More Replies...
notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. It's your house. If they don't like it, don't bring the kids. They should be watching their children anyway. Visiting someone isn't a break so that an adult can sit and socialize while their kids run around like wild animals in someone's house. Having a child is a full time job and responsibility. They should be taught how to behave in another person's house and how to follow the rules of that house. They can't expect you to set up your home to accommodate their children when you don't have any children of your own. If they don't like your rules and won't make the kids behave they have 2 choices,1 take the parents elsewhere or 2 get a sitter and leave the kids home. Your home is exactly that, your place. It's not a playground
Steve Hall 1 year ago
The siblings seem to envy OP and his ability to have nice things, they are the ones who chose to have children, it's their problem.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago (edited)
OP should just get a play pen or dog kennel and offer it as an alternative to supervising the children. How can a couch be dangerous or not suitable for kids? Is it made of knives?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I think the couch comment was said not as the couch was dangerous, but that the siblings are "concerned" that if OP gets a nice couch, their crotch goblins would ruin it/destroy it, so they're insisting OP gets child-proof couches. I like your idea about the dog kennel - OP should fence off a portion of the backyard like a dog run, add in some roofing and dog houses (wouldn't want the little monsters to not have shade/a place to hide from inclement weather) and be like "Sure, throw your kids in there while you're here!" to their siblings XD
Load More Replies... Rens 1 year ago
Many years ago my first boyfriend and I were living in a place together, no kids, just us and our cats. Both his older sisters were obnoxious and didn't raise their kids to have any manners. I had previously told them that if they came around for any reason, they'd better bring something to amuse their children because I was not going to have them running around terrorising the cats. Low and behold, both sisters turn up with five kids in total and because they didn't bother bringing anything to amuse their kids, I made the kids sit in a row with their noses to the wall. They never bothered to come around again. It was my apartment, my rules.
Nancy Leticia Cervantes 1 year ago (edited)
Noses to the wall cuz they misbehaved? Or just cuz? genuinely asking.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 year ago
Notice also that the parent isn’t chiming in on the lazy parents’ side here. In fact, notice how the parent isn’t chiming in at all, though I would bet good money their lazy parent kids have been trying to draw them into the debate. But I would also bet, if the parent had to choose a side, they’d side with OP, the only one of all their children who was actually there for them when they truly needed someone.
Nancy Leticia Cervantes 1 year ago
I sure hope they're not bothering the sick parent about this! If I were in OP's position and found out they even thought of dragging them into any drama or conflict, they'll be lucky if I even allow them over at all.....
Load More Replies... antoinette maldari 1 year ago
The best advice I saw was to have the siblings pick up the parent and take them to their own home if OP's childproofed. Done.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Funny, when my family took care of my grandmother at my childhood home, nobody came to visit. Does OP have magical unicorn family members who actually WANT to visit their elderly/sick relative? ...oh wait, it was just MY family members who are awful people XD The same thing happened after my dad's accident, too - NO one in the family came to see him (we took care of him at home for 21 years, until he died.) Honestly, though, I feel like OP's siblings WILL visit their ill parent for a little while, then they'll suddenly just stop doing so. They'll start making excuses, saying they're too busy, etc. Am I just cynical? :(
Rowboat 1 year ago
I'd rather they stayed away rather than showing up so they can say they visited instead of actually being helpful or caring. My mum, stepdad, and I currently care for my nan and the only time we see other relatives is when they show up at short notice for an hour or two just to say they've been. That leaves mum and I scrambling to host them just so they can turn around and leave the second nan needs any actual care or the two hour time limit is up. Mum's at her wits end and neither of her siblings, or any of mine (we're all adults), will step in to give us a break because that would mean doing more than a courtesy call or a flying visit and yet nan still thinks they're all wonderful because they drop by once in a blue moon. -_-
Load More Replies... notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. It's your house. If they don't like it, don't bring the kids. They should be watching their children anyway. Visiting someone isn't a break so that an adult can sit and socialize while their kids run around like wild animals in someone's house. Having a child is a full time job and responsibility. They should be taught how to behave in another person's house and how to follow the rules of that house. They can't expect you to set up your home to accommodate their children when you don't have any children of your own. If they don't like your rules and won't make the kids behave they have 2 choices,1 take the parents elsewhere or 2 get a sitter and leave the kids home. Your home is exactly that, your place. It's not a playground
Steve Hall 1 year ago
The siblings seem to envy OP and his ability to have nice things, they are the ones who chose to have children, it's their problem.
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