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“AITA For Secretly Buying Extra Food For My Niece Because Her Brothers Eat Everything First?”
A young niece eating a spiral-cut fried potato on a stick, eagerly taking a bite. She is enjoying extra food.

Aunt Is Baffled By How Brother Feeds Her Niece, Decides To Bring Her Secret Snacks

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Child obesity is a significant public health concern in the U.S. According to the CDC, about one in five children and adolescents in the USA has obesity. Parents should worry about their children becoming overweight; however, some go about it the wrong way. So much so that it might even be emotionally damaging.

This family member felt that their brother’s worry about his daughter’s weight was misplaced. The parents would restrict the 14-year-old’s diet so she wouldn’t become overweight, but allowed her athlete brothers to eat everything in sight. The dad’s sibling felt that it was unfair and bought their niece some extra snacks. But when the parents found out, all hell broke loose.

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    These parents restricted their 14-year-old daughter’s diet but let her brothers eat everything in sight

    Image credits: emneemsphotos/Envato (not the actual photo)

    One family member felt this was unfair and started buying the niece secret snacks

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    Image credits:  LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: MaliciousCicada77

    Teenage boys do need more daily calories than girls, but restrictive eating can lead a teen to develop an unhealthy relationship with food

    Those who have had the pleasure of spending at least a day with preteen boys know that they can be like black holes when it comes to snacks and food. While it’s true that growing boys need slightly more calories than girls, restricting a 14-year-old’s diet can cause serious body image issues and even eating disorders for the rest of her life.

    The author doesn’t specify what age the girl’s brothers are, just that they’re teenagers and athletes. That usually means that they need a lot of calories to fuel their bodies. According to Cara Marrs, a registered dietitian nutritionist at UCHealth Yampa Valley Medical Center, boys aged 11-15 need about 2,500 calories a day. If they’re older and active athletes, they may need up to 5,000 calories a day.

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    Girls, on the other hand, need about 2,200 calories a day when they’re 11-15 years old. As Marrs explains, teens need carbs for energy, healthy fats for brain health and hormone production, protein to help boost the immune system, and nutrients like vitamin D, calcium, and iron so they can build strong bodies.

    She recommends parents shy away from ultra-processed foods, but says that ultimatums and restrictions can be more harmful than beneficial. Instead, parents should set an example by eating healthily themselves. Sharing meals together is extremely beneficial, as is providing healthy options for snacks, such as fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

    If kids see parents restrict their own meals or are told to eat less so that they don’t get overweight, they might adopt an unhealthy relationship with food. According to Marrs, many teenagers become victims of the “toxic online diet culture” and adopt extreme diets and become enamored with pre-workout drinks, supplements like creatine, and protein powder.

    Image credits: Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Instead of restricting food, parents should encourage healthy eating habits

    The teen years are an incredibly sensitive period for any person. Parents might not realize this, but teens internalize every little thing they hear and see. The parents in this story may think that they’re dealing with their daughter’s potential obesity in the right way, but it is indeed harmful.

    Experts say that restricting a teen’s diet doesn’t have the desired result. Instead of helping with weight loss, it leads teens to develop habits like bingeing, sneaking food, and eating when they’re not hungry. Even when a child is obese, nutritionists and pediatricians recommend against food restriction. Healthy ways to prevent becoming overweight or obese focus on eating habits and physical activity instead of a child’s weight.

    According to the experts at Johns Hopkins, the recommended steps are:

    • Parents being role models by eating healthy and doing physical activity
    • Encouraging children to engage in at least 60 minutes of moderate physical activity most days of the week
    • Building healthy eating habits: eating slowly and only when hungry, swapping sugary drinks and overprocessed snacks for at least five servings of fresh fruit and vegetables a day, and eating together as a family
    • Not using food as a reward or withholding it as a form of punishment

    Girls and women face pressure to be thin their entire lives. Research shows that a third of girls aged 10-14 are on a diet or use extreme weight control behaviors at any given time. What’s more, by 13 or 14, 50% of girls report attempting to lose weight despite not being obese. In order to break this harmful pattern, parents need to do better and encourage their daughters to adopt healthy eating habits.

    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    “She looks to be average for her height and age,” the author commented about their niece’s weight

    Most commenters were appalled by the father’s behavior: “This is how people end up with body image issues and eating disorders”

    However, others thought that the parents should have been consulted before taking action

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Read less »
    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    What do you think ?
    Optimus Octopus
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those brothers are going to end up being morbidly obese once they stop playing sports because they’ve been taught it’s good to pig out.

    Pawsome
    Community Member
    2 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is absolutely doing the right thing. I have two brothers who were always much bigger and faster eaters than I was. At one point, I started having to avoid certain food types because of health issues and they would always eat all the food I could eat. I ended up going to be hungry pretty frequently until I could buy my own snacks and hid them (even though my big brother flipped out over me not sharing them). It is absolutely not fun to not be able to eat enough. I was not starving, but I had lost enough weight to be underweight and as a result my health suffered. On top of that, OP's niece is still a kid and cannot buy her own food. This is infuriating. Sounds like OP's brother prefers his sons

    Andy
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP explained it very poorly in the original post. She later made it clear that the daughter eats meals with the rest of the family, she is talking about snacks and leftovers being eaten before the daughter goes to get them. She is not being starved or malnourished. There is no mention of if the parents ever made an issue of the daughter weight or eating habits, or just that they gave the boys more due to their additional calorie needs. For me the OP is much more damaging, as they are creating an atmosphere for the daughter where treats and additional food is something special that's secret and to keep hidden.

    FluffyDreg
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leftovers being eaten before she can get any, + there not being any alternatives is borderline starving as she's complaining about it. A lot of times you need an extra serving because you are more hungry, were more active, ect. But there's no options? That IS a concern

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    Optimus Octopus
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those brothers are going to end up being morbidly obese once they stop playing sports because they’ve been taught it’s good to pig out.

    Pawsome
    Community Member
    2 days ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is absolutely doing the right thing. I have two brothers who were always much bigger and faster eaters than I was. At one point, I started having to avoid certain food types because of health issues and they would always eat all the food I could eat. I ended up going to be hungry pretty frequently until I could buy my own snacks and hid them (even though my big brother flipped out over me not sharing them). It is absolutely not fun to not be able to eat enough. I was not starving, but I had lost enough weight to be underweight and as a result my health suffered. On top of that, OP's niece is still a kid and cannot buy her own food. This is infuriating. Sounds like OP's brother prefers his sons

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    Andy
    Community Member
    2 days ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP explained it very poorly in the original post. She later made it clear that the daughter eats meals with the rest of the family, she is talking about snacks and leftovers being eaten before the daughter goes to get them. She is not being starved or malnourished. There is no mention of if the parents ever made an issue of the daughter weight or eating habits, or just that they gave the boys more due to their additional calorie needs. For me the OP is much more damaging, as they are creating an atmosphere for the daughter where treats and additional food is something special that's secret and to keep hidden.

    FluffyDreg
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leftovers being eaten before she can get any, + there not being any alternatives is borderline starving as she's complaining about it. A lot of times you need an extra serving because you are more hungry, were more active, ect. But there's no options? That IS a concern

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